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the sense of horror when you finish a book that was Ass Bad and you go to see what fellow haters are saying but all the reviews say it is the best thing they've ever read. feel like i just saw my reflection in the mirror move all by itself or something
#omfg i sat here reading tags for like 25 minutes i love this post#even the people who are wrong#i feel god in this chilis tonight#anyway heres mine:#grady hendrix f you for southern book club#piranesi was not even 25% as impactful as people act like it is (i did like it ok though)#ANGELS BEFORE MAN???? I GET SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS ONE#a dowry of blood sucked the shit out of my ass#and anything by sarah rose etter can get so fucked#i didnt hate the locked tomb or becky chambers or murderbot as much but i love the brave people on here saying them
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but like!!! i feel so apart from everyone!! even my partner, my friends, other queer people. i'm definitely not queer enough to be a part of any kind of queer community. i'm too fat for basically anything (went beyond cute-fat last winter because i was depressed and burnt the fuck out). i don't get along with other ND people for reasons unknown. i just don't know man i know i'm supposed to like. love myself enough to enjoy my own company but i just don't. i think all my attempts to try to like myself are just me avoiding difficulties. i don't KNOW!!!!! I DON'T KNOW
idk it's just like sometimes i have a lot to say but then i start typing and i realize i can't organize my thoughts in a way that makes any fucking sense and then i just delete the whole thing and go cry on my porch for 15 minutes.
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idk it's just like sometimes i have a lot to say but then i start typing and i realize i can't organize my thoughts in a way that makes any fucking sense and then i just delete the whole thing and go cry on my porch for 15 minutes.
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i don't understand why people are so obsessed with the locked tomb and i think it's because i wasn't a true homestuck back in the day :/
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I so wanted mortalnymph as my URL :( my oldest blog is my aesthetic blog @immortalnymph and I thought it'd be pretty hot to have an opposed URL for this one
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I don't really know why I started this blog except I do and here are the reasons
1. I just scrolled through Lindy's blog and realized how long it's been and how much she inspires me. Probably my truest parasocial relationship over the years. I just wanted to emulate her candor and openness
2. I keep thinking to myself that expressing myself in a way that can be viewed by others is what's gonna fix me. I don't post anything anywhere and I don't engage with people online, mostly because I scroll tiktok and reels comment sections where people are at their worst, and I can barely read it, let alone engage. But I know there's value in putting myself out there. And I want to try. This attitude also comes from watching CJ the X videos where he continuously reiterates the power and meaning of creating and releasing your work, of joining the great spiral of art. What I want to put on this blog is not my work (I mean maybe someday) but I think the act of posting here will be a baby step in that direction. I just need some kind of outlet. I'm not going to be some kind of gold mine of text posts. But maybe some kind of connection will happen
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