mortalorder

[mortalorder]

sorry if i’m being a party pooper but because rabies is apparently the new joke on here ??? please remember that rabies has an almost 100% fatality rate after symptoms develop so if you’re bitten or scratched by an animal that you aren’t 100% sure is vaccinated then GO TO A DOCTOR. it’s not a joke. really. 

[mortalorder]

One of my favorite tropes is character with a nasty toxic personality who tries very hard to do the right thing anyway

[mortalorder]

random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

[mortalorder]

‘unreliable narrator’ but it’s ’narrator is deeply in love with the person they are narrating’

[mortalorder]

The good plot twists aren't the ones that are wild left turns out of nowhere, they're the ones that make all the other little things that didn't quite add up before suddenly click

[mortalorder]

been listening to the knuckles raps from sa2 while pretending to not know the music is from a video game and i highly recommend the experience. really good from the perspective of a normal rapper who talks about ghosts trying to kill him and his ability to telepathically detect gemstones in the earth

[mortalorder]

Did a brand new kind of bowling shot today

we called it the "trust the Force Luke" shot or the "through God all things are possible" shot

[mortalorder]

earlier my friend said to me “somewhere out there, in an alternate universe, there’s an all female rock band called ‘king’” and I’m STILL recovering from that mental image and how gay it made me feel

[mortalorder]

Most normal Mario Girls conversation

Based on this funny tumblr post I found:

[mortalorder]

I started this WIP ages ago when I was rewatching TAWOG and I can't believe I finally finished it at the start of pride month, so for that enjoy a bonus:

[mortalorder]

“Mario has no personality” shut up he’s a Little Guy™ he’s a working class hero he Never Says No he genuinely unironically loves plumbing he’s a Short King he has the sweetest blue eyes and chubby lil cheeks you’ve ever seen he literally dreams about pasta he’s a quintessential underdog he’s a little too competitive sometimes he’s adorably chivalrous he lives life to the fullest he puts himself on the line to save his friends over and over not wanting anything return simply bc it’s the right thing to do and also kind of fun he wants to Save Brooklyn With Low Prices And Friendly Service he Doesn’t Know How To Quit he’s the world’s most affectionate tender protective big brother he is my CHILDHOOD HERO AND I WILL NOT SEE HIM DISRESPECTED ANY LONGER

[mortalorder]

"intermission" is a pretty good name for the stretches of road between courses in mario kart world, like it's both an intermission in the sense of a break between races and literally "inter-mission" in the sense that it's between two "missions".

but really since an individual race track is a "course" not a "mission" it should be called an

[mortalorder]

the thousand year door comics!!

[mortalorder]

Mario creepypasta fundamentally doesn't work because you know what Mario would actually do if we saw some dimension-warping hundred-handed cosmic horror? He wouldn't lose his mind; he'd take one look at that Shin Megami Tensei looking fucker, pull out his dorky little mushroom-shaped cell phone, hit the fourth number down on his contact list, and go "hey, Kirby, I think-a one-a your boys got lost".

[mortalorder]

i hope luigi mangione is proven innocent & gets to sue a ton of companies for slander and win & i hope he gets enough money to rebuild his life and get any help for his chronic pain that he needs & i hope he’s able to disappear from the public eye entirely if that’s what he wants

[mortalorder]

i understand why some people hate them but i do love video game achievements because im a sick bastard who likes it when the developers call me a good boy