mortemiism

[mortemiism]

First-Meeting Sentence Starters

Several different scenarios that can be combined or modified for your pleasure:

"Uh, hi there."

"I was here first. Go to the back of the line!"

"Excuse me, is there any way you could let me go before you? I'm in a hurry."

"Service here is TERRIBLE today!"

"Is this seat taken?"

"Do you have a moment to talk?"

"Hi, listen, there's someone following me, and I'm paranoid so can you talk to me for a few minutes to make it look like I'm not alone?"

"Here, take this and run with me. I'll explain later!"

"Do you have some cash? This vending machine just ate the last of mine..."

"Hey, were you going to use this machine next? It gave me a free bag of chips, and I don't need to eat that many!"

"Do you work here?"

"Look, I'm not an employee, but the ____ are right over there."

"Hey, is this yours? It was by your feet."

"Are you from ____ or ____?"

"Hello, ____."

"I swear I've seen you on TV."

"Yes, I'm ____, and I can take a picture with you if you want."

"Oh my gosh, can I pet your dog?!"

"Sorry, there was a hair hanging off of your sleeve, and it was bothering me."

"Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to walk into you!"

"Wait a minute! I think they mixed up our orders."

"Ugh, this isn't my food. Did anyone here order a ____?"

"You look so cold. Do you want to borrow my jacket?"

"H-Hey, I'm freezing. Is there any way I can s-stand close to you and maybe get warmer?"

"You poor thing, you look like you're cooking! Here, take a bottle of water."

"It's so hot I think I might pass out. Can you help me?"

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, good, you're awake. What happened to you?"

"Where am I?"

"Get in! You're in danger!"

"Please, let me ride with you. There's someone after me!"

"Grab the spare helmet and jump on."

"Are you playing ____?"

"Hey, do you want to trade friend codes?"

"Hi, my date just stood me up, so now I have a free ticket."

"I'd love to take that free spot as long as you don't mind sitting next to me."

"Have you seen a lost child around here?"

"I found this child, and by the look on your face, I think they're yours."

"That coat isn't real fur, is it?"

"If you can't tell the difference between real animal pelt and fake, you shouldn't be harassing people on the street."

"Are we locked in here?"

"Can I use your phone?"

"Here, take my phone. No questions asked."

"What's cookin' good lookin'?"

"If you're trying to flirt with me, you may want to try again."

[mortemiism]

send one for my muse’s reaction to your muse ---

violacexus :

florror:

alternatively send ‘ + ‘ after the symbol for the roles to be reversed where possible !

✘ = hugging them . Δ = playing with their hair .  ❤ = kissing them .  ₪ =  asking them out for dinner . ☀ = giving them a gift of ___ ( asker’s choice ) . ♘ = stabbing them . ♕ = bowing down before them . ♒ = lying to them .   ✿ = buying them flowers . ☾ = being found shirtless . ♢ = reading them a story . ☂ = giving them their jumper to keep warm . ✎ = speaking in a different language . ✏ = teaching them a different language . ▄ = telling them a joke . ♬ = singing to them . ☹ = insulting a loved one . ஐ = slapping them . ✂ = threatening them . ❃ = dancing with them . ▤ = falling asleep on them . ☮ = waking them up after a nightmare .  ♣ = discovering them crying .  回 = patching a wound .  ✮ = stargazing . ▓ = caught stealing their belongings . ☽ = wandering alone at night . ♡ = complimenting them . ≡ = offering a place to stay overnight . ☢ = falling over . ✦ = being well-dressed . ❂ = wiping blood off their face . ◎ = taking care of them while ill . ☁ = being caught in the middle a storm with them . ⇕ = holding their hand . ↱ = being lost with them . ☠ = pushing them against a wall .

[mortemiism]

Cheesy Pick Up Line Starters

“Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?”

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘I’ and ‘U’ together.”

“Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight—or should I walk by again?”

“Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Boy/Girlfriend material.”

“If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.”

“If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.”

“Know what’s on the menu? Me ‘n’ u.”

“It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I am totally checking you out.”

“Something’s wrong with my eyes, because I can’t take them off you.”

“Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.”

“Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.”

“Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.”

“Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.”

“Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.”

“Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?”

“I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.”

“Have you been to the doctor lately? Cause I think you’re lacking some Vitamin Me.”

“I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?”

“Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.”

“Are you Netflix? Because I could watch you for hours.”

“I’m in the mood for pizza… a pizza you, that is!”

“Do you work at Dick’s? Cause you’re sporting the goods.”

“You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.”

“You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!”

[mortemiism]

House of Cards sentence starters

Change pronouns / descriptors as necessary!

“I have no patience for useless things.”

“We’re in the same boat now. Take care not to tip it over. I can only save one of us from drowning.”

“We’re in a very gray area. Ethically. Legally. Which I’m okay with.”

“What a martyr craves more than anything is a sword to fall on.”

“Nobody can hear you. Nobody cares about you. Nothing will come of this.”

“I know all about hate. It starts in your gut, deep down here, where it stirs and churns. And then it rises.”

“You haven’t earned the right to be treated as an adult.”

“So you think when a woman asks to be treated with respect, that’s arrogance?”

“You don’t want to work anywhere you’re not willing to get fired from.”

“Treading water is the same as drowning, for people like you and me.”

“Love of family: most politicians are permanently chained to that slogan, family values. But when you cozy up to hookers and I find out, I will make that hypocrisy hurt.”

“He believes that if a fridge falls off a minivan, you better swerve out of its way. I believe it’s the fridge’s job to swerve out of mine.”

“Just making an observation.”

“Are you letting pride cloud your judgment?”

“I’m the only person who believes in you, but maybe that’s one too many.”

“Maybe they were right. Maybe you are worthless.”

“I promise you’ll never be bored.”

“He was the only one who understood me. He didn’t put me on some pedestal.”

“The most you’ll ever make of yourself is blowing men like me.”

“I can smell the cock on your breath from here.”

“He’d never go for you. You’re too intimidating.”

“I’ve been doing this a long time. I know when I’ve scraped all the shit off the shoe.”

“Do you get off on this or something?”

“There’s no better way to overpower a trickle of doubt than with a flood of naked truth.”

“I have to put fear in other people.”

“I have to be ruthless, because failure is not an option.”

“I’m not going to lie. I despise children. There. I’ve said it.”

“Everything is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about power.”

“If I didn’t think you were such a liability to yourself, I might even like you.”

“I have zero tolerance for betrayal, which they will soon indelibly learn.”

“When did that happen?”

“You don’t understand. I’m not afraid of you anymore.”

“I’ve known everything from the beginning.”

“I’m not here to punish you or to tell you to stop. I just thought I should open those big bright eyes.”

“I wanted to be significant.”

“I envy your free spirit, and I’m attracted to it, but not all of us have that luxury.”

“You had a choice. You chose not to be free.”

“Success is a mixture of preparation and luck.”

“Decisions based on emotion aren’t decisions, at all. They’re instincts. Which can be of value.”

“He doesn’t measure his wealth in private jets, but purchased souls.”

“Of all the things I hold in high regards, rules are not one of them.”

“You have a reputation for pragmatism.”

“You can’t purchase loyalty. Not the sort I have in mind. If you want to earn my loyalty, then you have to offer yours in return.”

“Now, the humane way to do it is to make it quick.”

“I took a chance, showed up at your house and placed myself at your feet.”

“I have been fearless. But, you know what? I’m really fucking scared this time.”

“Grief demands an answer, but sometimes there isn’t one.”

“If we never did anything we shouldn’t do, we’d never feel good about doing the things we should.”

“It’s personal for me now. I don’t have a choice, but you still do.”

“Stick a knife in its heart and put an apple in its mouth, I won’t shed a tear.”

“There is no sacred ground for the conquered.”

“You may have all the money, but I have all the men with guns.”

“You’re nothing. You’re a parasite.”

“I’m not who you want to be your poster girl.”

“I’ve never thought higher of her than I do at this moment.”

“Do you think I’m a hypocrite? Well, you should. I wouldn’t disagree with you.”

“I ain’t one for lookin’ back. Eyes ahead.”

“From the lion’s den to a pack of wolves. When you’re fresh meat, kill and throw them something fresher.”

“I don’t know whether to be proud or terrified. Perhaps both.”

“Seduce him, give him your heart. Cut it out and put it in his fucking hands.”

“I’ve done what I have to do. Now you do what you have to do.”

“I said I would take the fall for you. And now I give you the means to make that happen.”

“Power is better than money, for as long as it lasts. But it never lasts.”

“What is wrong with you?! Why can’t you just leave me be?!”

“All you have ever done is fuck up my life!”

“Such a waste of talent.”

“Discuss is probably the wrong word. They talk while I sit quietly and imagine their lightly salted faces frying in a skillet.”

“Money is the McMansion in Sarasota that starts falling apart after ten years, power is the old stone building that stands for centuries. I cannot respect someone who does not see the difference.”

“Moments like this require someone who will act. To do the unpleasant thing. The necessary thing.”

“There are two kinds of pain. The sort of pain that makes you strong. Or useless pain. The sort of pain that’s only suffering.”

“Let’s make him suffer.”

[mortemiism]

Send 👏 if you would like to discuss / plot a pre-established relationship with me.

[mortemiism]

Coffee shop starters

“Is this seat taken?”

“This isn’t my drink!”

“Hey, I was here first!”

“Let me help you with that.”

“Is this yours?”

“I think they called your name.”

“So what’s good here?”

“Did you drop this?”

“Let me pay for that!”

“Watch where you’re going!”

“This isn’t what I ordered!”

“Can you pass the sugar please?”

“Just make up your mind already!”

“What is this supposed to be?”

“I don’t care, as long as it tastes like coffee.”

“I’m only here for the cookies.”

“Bother me after I’ve had my first cup and not a moment sooner.”

“Do you ever leave this place?”

“You can’t go into a coffee shop and just order a glass of milk!”

“I’ll have whatever they’re having, I’m not picky.”

[mortemiism]

rolls onto my side and sticks my leggy up real high

hello new followers like.. for a starter.. if ur a mutlimuse specify…

[mortemiism]

so I’ve been thinking….. I don’t care

[mortemiism]

    “This heat is awful..” The young woman seems to be mumbling to herself, awkwardly attempting to tie her hair up into a ponytail - only to let out a loud groan as her band snaps. “Really.”

[mortemiism]

gods yami must spend so much on.. hair dye.. imagine dying ur naturally pitch black hair to stylish white... 

[mortemiism]

rolls onto my side and sticks my leggy up real high

hello new followers like.. for a starter.. if ur a mutlimuse specify...

[mortemiism]

@cfdualities

      “Oh, really?” She’s trying to keep her cool, but as usual she’s flustered behind her teasing words, her cheeks dusting faint pink. She seemed to be endlessly falling in love with Sayomi more and more each day, despite knowing each other for so long it seems. A helpless romantic at heart, she was. Just chuckling shyly as she placed another small kiss upon the other’s forehead, looking back down at her. “I love you a lot too..”

[mortemiism]

    “Why are people so disgusted by frogs? They are adorable~!”

[mortemiism]

     I’m looking to hardcore revive this muse so could you like/reblog if you’re interested in rping with an indie mortician oc? I’m a side blog, but I promise to check you out and follow you back on my main.

[mortemiism]

A Softer Love

“There are two types of love. True love, and the love we actually get.”

“I would love you more if you were someone who could love me.”

“Our love was doomed, a burning building, a broken neck. But nothing since you and me even feels like love.”

“I want everyone to love me and I’m pretty sure the trick is to just be myself, but with money.”

“I can only infer that love exists from its effects on others.”

“I will always love you, or anyway I will always have loved you now.”

“You are the love of my life so far.”

“Will you still love me when I am a spooky ghost?”

“I’m in love with the you I wish you were. I only stay with you because you look like him.”

“Sometimes even love isn’t enough. So what chance do WE have?”

“I wish being in love was enough. I wish it counted for anything at all.”

“I hate it when you leave but I love to look at your butt while you walk away.”

“Yeah, maybe we all die alone. I masturbate alone, too. Sometimes.”

“Sometimes when two people love each other it’s really unfortunate.”

“I don’t believe each person has just one true love, but sometimes we don’t have enough time to find another.”

“If love lasted forever, we’d only ever get one.”

“Just once I’d like to fall in love with someone? who will ruin things before I do.”

“Ah, unrequited love. When your best isn’t enough.”

“I am terrified I will never find another love like ours.”

“I want to carve our initials in the bark of everyone who ever hurt you.”

“I love the way your face lights up when someone says, “It might be dangerous.”“

“All I ever wanted was love, until you loved me.”

“Our love is like an animatronic pigeon. No! It’s like a sex party on the moon! Also I am a bit drunk.”

“I want people to tell their children terrifying stories about the things we did for love.”

“When you get that look, nobody is safe. It’s why I first fell in love with you.”

“You are a good person and I love you. This just isn’t the life I hoped I’d have.”

“Marriage isn’t just between a man and a woman, it’s between any two people who love each other and want to ruin their lives.”

“Our love is a forest fire and we are the little things that live in the trees.”

“Sometimes I think you might fall in love with someone else and all my problems will be solved.”

“I keep all my old love letters, but to be honest I just skim them for the dirty bits.”

“It would be easier to deal with falling out of love if it hadn’t somehow made the sex exciting again.”

“Unrequited love is a waste of time. Just walk it off. There. I said it.”

“If our love lasts forever it’s gonna get real awkward when one of us dies.”

“There are just two things that make life worth living. The people you love, and sweet pranks.”

“I love those quiet moments in the dark where you can stop pretending.”

“I don’t know what the fuck true love even is but I do want to hang out with you for basically the rest of my life.”

“I said I’d love you forever, and really meant it at the time. I guess that’s my problem. A failure of imagination.”

“I know I can’t make you love me. But I wish I could make you shut up about not loving me.”

“Our love is a meteor impact, a super volcano erupting. We won’t survive but we won’t die bored.”

“At first I was angry you had fallen in love with someone else, but you seem so happy now I didn’t even know you were sad.”

“You don’t love me, but you used to. I wanted to say thank you for that.”

“You and I will never be a great love story. That’s ok! Let’s see what kind of story we’ll be.”

“When I picture you with your new lover I get angry, and then sad, then kind of horny.”

“I lost the woman I loved and now all I have are my father’s well-meaning words, “Maybe now you can meet a nice man.”“

“I have loved since you. But when the new paint gets scratched, there you are underneath.”

“She’s like an angel. My family loves her but I just don’t believe anymore.“ 

[mortemiism]

Imagine your size difference OTP: smol person A trying to converse with a friend who can’t take them seriously cuz tol person B is resting their chin on A’s head and swaying them both happily.

Bonus: B all the while is pulling this face -  (*´ ∀ `*)

[mortemiism]

Sayomi is just gonna lay on top of her wife. She doesn't care one bit. Give her love

     Local small wife™ is squished. Just reaching up to tickle her sides.