mortivex - Tumblr blog

[mortivex]

Holding down the power button to turn something off is the equivalent of choking it until it’s unconscious

[mortivex]

i take you to the candy shop

[mortivex]

what the FUCK on g-ds green earth is this! theres a bun in there. cheese . MEAT. and youre putting it in ice cream youre just chopping it up and putting it in ice cream!! youre going to have ground beef ice cream with cheese and soggy bread. WHY would you do this. i am REPULSED on a level ive never felt before. like oh yum mcicecream! why dont you mix a filet o fish in there while youre at it? theres fucking ketchup on there too. i can never go back to a state of not having seen this video and i mourn that. im going to be thinking on this video on my deathbed. my last words are going to be “hamburger ice cream” what the fuck

[mortivex]

The Monologue, because I liked it so damn much.

[mortivex]

I am going to eat this entire candy cane.

[mortivex]

My Wife has owned a self driving car for the last 30 years and sitting in the passenger seats: dicates where does she want to go, goes to sleep and arrives at her destination safely.

[mortivex]

[mortivex]

Control + Alt + Delete is the computer equivalent of “Let me talk to your manager.”

[mortivex]

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my switch does a weird thing when it starts up

[mortivex]

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yeah so i got my hair done today

[mortivex]

People...

Why even bother sitting down and having a long conversation with someone, laying out what you expect, how you feel, and what's going to happen if what you've mutually agreed upon fails to occur if all they're going to do is conveniently forget every aspect of it when they do exactly what they say they're not going to?

[mortivex]

[mortivex]

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i thought he hit a girl at first.

[mortivex]

Memories. Sad, sad memories.

[mortivex]

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[mortivex]

There should be a holiday for people who work the holidays