morysadlaivy

[morysadlaivy]

containers

as I sit on the rim of this bathtub, thawing (isn't it funny how thaw and dethaw mean the same thing?) my toes in foot-deep hot water (maybe, I don't know how tall a foot is anyway, and who's to say whether this water is sexy), I listen to the voice inside my head (which just happens, most of the time, to be my inner perception of my own voice). it tells me:

containers are fun, aren't they? no, not your common red-topped, tomato-sauce-stained Rubbermaids. I mean real containers, real big ones. cargo containers, grain silos, water tanks, that sort of thing. now, I don't care if they're cylindrical or rectilinear, ceramic or wooden or made of corrugated fiberboard, if they're IBCs or ULDs or FIBCs, nor whether they abide by the industry standard intermodal container size (which is, of course, the twenty-foot equivalent unit) or anything else of the sort. in fact, the only size standard I care about is big. come to think of it, maybe 'container' is too limiting a term for what I'm referring to, maybe what I'm really looking for is only properly contained within the well-defined borders of a stalwart pair of double quotes: "vessel that can hold large volumes of stuff." (the broadening of the definition of the ostensible topic of this post, as I've just done, does not work to subvert unconsciously built-up expectations because the bathtub context at the start prevents the building up of the unconscious expectations necessary for this to be considered a subversion.)

shut up, inner voice. (though, with the incorrect and incessant use of parentheses remaining largely constant between my apparent voice and my so-called inner voice, I begin to wonder who I'm really talking to.)

no no, but just think about it. do bathtubs not inspire within you the most pleasant form of joy?

given that that which is "within" me is you, and given your jolly tone, I suppose they do.

pools... are they not so rapturous to take in with your eyes? and the sea, the sea! is it not simply the largest container on earth? 71% of the planet's surface is a difficult number to beat. (since it is a majority, unless containers are in the business of sharing the earth's surface area with each other, it is actually an impossible number to beat. but then again, who knows? the containers may be commies.)

I'll concede that pools are in possession of a special something. (what, now you've gone mad too? -wait a minute, if you're you, then who was that? and who am I? this never would have happened if I'd just used the first-person singular pronoun in that first question (it even makes sense: first-person in the first question... you're grasping at straws, it is utterly nonsensical.), but, no! it's too late now and I've gone down a different branch of "me".) and as for the sea, what you meant was the ocean.

sea, ocean... what does it matter? it would take me but this bathtub to ruin your laptop. what- no- don't leave it, don't leave the bathtub, don't leave me!

fret not, dear me, I've concluded it makes no sense for the sphere of existence of my inner voice to be delimited by the immediate vicinity of the bathtub. since this is the conclusion I have drawn, you shall stay with me for the foreseeable future. rather tragically I must add.

your laptop is now out of reach of the water (which is itself disappearing down the drain), and yet you cry tragedy. the bright side is lost on you pessimists. you really cannot be helped. now please, focus, think of the sea. the... why are we thinking of the sea again?-

there it is!-

see what you've done to us, distracting us from our goals, rendering discursive (definitely the "rambling desultory digressive" definition of this word and not the "conscious reasoning" one. if you're looking on Collins dictionary, that is. why would I be? stop asking questions.) what was supposed to be a pleasant chat about containers. oh there it is, that's why we're thinking of the sea!

no, i meant there it is! the pronoun to resolve our issues of identity! first-person plural! "we"! that was a pretty long run of italics for me, I hope it doesn't confuse them on who's speaking. (hold on, where did they come from all of a sudden? can we keep these words that one may substitute for a noun or noun phrase to a strict minimum, please?) did you just quote fucking Wikipedia and in doing so introduce the indefinite pronoun into the mix? so much for wanting to keep things simple. and now you've ruined the little communist-flavoured celebration we were having at the top of this paragraph!

listen, can we go back to the sea? is it not, quite plainly, the most pretty?

I do love the sea, and I guess I do love containers. you were right all along, dear me.