most-definitively-a-human

[most-definitively-a-human]

I often see messages about how “one day you’ll be thankful you didn’t give up”.

And I remember reading these messages years ago and dismissing them. I’d even feel bitter at them. I’d feel annoyed even. I thought there was never a chance they would be true for me.

I was wrong. I constantly feel so glad I stuck around.

This morning, I laid next to my husband and felt safe in his arms. And I thought about how glad I was to be here with him. I’d have never met him if I hadn’t tried to recover.

While writing this post, my dog stretched in the bed before circling and plopping herself back down. Her head pushed into my side, snoring so quickly. And I was so thankful to be around to hear her little snores and feel her next to me. I’d have never had her if I hadn’t done the work to heal.

Yesterday, my best friend and I made plans to see each other. She told me she loved me. It made me feel warm inside and so thankful I was around to see her get married and have her at my wedding.

I enjoy the little things now. I enjoy the way my husband always gives me a forehead kiss before he leaves. I enjoy the way my dog comes running when she hears me go lay on the bed because she wants to be with me. I enjoy the tea I have every day, being able to be outside in the sun. I enjoy excitedly waiting for music from my favourite artists to drop.

All these things I’d never enjoy if I gave up.

I am thankful I stuck around. I am thankful I didn’t give up.

And I hope that if you aren’t, that one day you are too.

[most-definitively-a-human]

if your disability makes it difficult for you to leave bed to brush your teeth, Colgate makes a product called Wisps that are single use, no-rinse toothbrushes you can use while in bed. They have a bead on the brush that dissolves and acts as toothpaste and can be swallowed. The other end has a toothpick.

[most-definitively-a-human]

Sometimes I wanna play a game but need something simple but interesting... So I wanted to share my favorite itch.io games (click the link if you don't wanna read the post, I'll update it as I play more!). Some of these games mean a lot to me and have helped me through rough spots. They're all free to play on your web browser <3

Six Cats Under by Team Bean Loop "A little point-and-click puzzle game where you rescue your herd of cats by directing them with your poltergeist powers."

Good Morning! by cnnmon "A short morning routine simulator about starting your day right. Play through a few colorful minigames and puzzles until you're ready to take on the day."

Lookouts by paranoidhawk *** "A romance visual novel about two gay trans masc outlaws in the old west, finding refuge in each other, and a little hope for a better life."

Goodnight Meowmie by DDRKirby *** "A narrative game combining elements of both the virtual pet and horror genres."

Goodbye Doggy by Picogram "A browser game made in HTML5. Help your family cope with your death as a ghostly dog!"

Soft Underbelly by Rosa *** "A browser narrative game made in HTML5. Take a break. Talk to your cat about friendship, trust & care."

Purrgatory by Niv *** "A visual novel about passing time in an afterlife where nothing really matters. explore a whimsical point-and-click world, befriend seven charming characters, and remember — furever's not so bad!"

B-e-e-t-l-e by Loafy Co. "A typing game minus the chaos and the anxiety. Type at your leisure and enjoy a chill, relaxing adventure filled with retro scenery."

Happy Cat Tavern by Courier Cat Studio "A cat themed typing game" -- tip: for calm playing, use practice mode! there is still a word & time counter though, you're not on any time limit or combo constraint <3

---

Anyway that's all. Asterisk'd (***) are my top favs. Have fun, explore itch.io, and mind the trigger warnings where applicable <3

[most-definitively-a-human]

whatever you're beating yourself up for right now. set it aside with me for a moment to appreciate this:

humans have been drawing ourselves as stick figures for literal millennia. i don't care if you don't like art or think you're bad at art. someone made this thousands of years ago, and we're still appreciating this stick guy and his horse chariot. not just on the internet, but in the fucking Louvre.

so... coming back to whatever you're beating yourself up for... not only were we drawing stick figures millennia ago and still are today... there have also been many many humans who have struggled as you are right now. maybe not in the same exact way.

but they too have felt hopeless. they too have felt worthless. they too have felt afraid, confused, and angry. they too have wanted to be better but not known how. and yet. enough of them went on, and kept on trying until they found peace or success or closure... for you to be sitting here today.

your life is a gift. your joy is a blessing. your pain is a story being told over and over through time. you are okay, and even if you're not. you can be okay, and if you give yourself a chance... you will be.

be kind to yourself, stranger. and thank you for being alive at the same time as me. :)

[most-definitively-a-human]

Things that should be accepted in the autism community that isn’t currently acceptable or talked about enough or talked about as gross.

Being nonverbal (as in can’t talk at all permanently)

Having caretakers

Having other people do ADLs for you. Especially bathing and toileting.

Being talked to in simplified language

Being dirty

Drooling

Chewing on things

Stimming violently and loudly

Hitting yourself

Vocal stimming loudly

Being higher support needs

Being higher support needs and a POC

Being intellectually disabled with autism

And so much more. I shout-out anyone who are these things or do these things. You are amazing.

[most-definitively-a-human]

it is possible to live happy life and have a happy future when you have medium/high support needs. it's possible for us to be accommodated. it's possible to get needs met. it's possible to find a satisfying way of existence.

i want to bring some hope for us. yes, we are often trapped in unsatisfying situations. from abusive homes/bad caretakers/unsupportive environments/etc. to dictatorships that we have additional barriers to escape from.

but. we aren't doomed to stay like this forever. we aren't doomed to live unsatisfying life.

it's possible to get more needs met. it's possible to get supportive and accessible environment. it's possible to flee abusive/toxic/dangerous situations. it's possible to get more joy. it's possible to find community. it's possible to find things that bring you joy, make you feel like you do something meaningful. it's possible to be happy.

i can't promise everything will be good. but i can hope. and i want to share this hope with you. i wish we all get some hope on better future.

[most-definitively-a-human]

Hey. Your brain needs to de-frag. Literally it needs you to sit there and space out.

If you want your memory or executive function to improve, stare out a window at the skyline or sidewalk or trees or birds on the electrical wires for like 20+ minutes per day. (With no other stimulation like a podcast or TV if you can manage but hey baby steps innit). If you're fortunate enough to have safe outside with any bits of nature, go stare closely at a 1 meter square of grass and trip out on the bugs and shapes of grasses and stuff.

Literally this will make you smarter. Our brains HAVE TO HAVE this zone out time to do important stuff behind the scenes. This does not happen during sleep, it's something else.

That weird pressurized feeling you get sometimes might be your brain on no defrag.

Give your brain a Daily Dose Of De-Frag.

[most-definitively-a-human]

Reblog to give prev a fucking break holy shit y’all

[most-definitively-a-human]

all your stuffed animals love you. they're not sad if they're in a box, or on the floor, or not held/played with as much. they understand. they know that you might need another stuffie more, or that you don't have enough space. they're just happy to be with you, and if you ever give them away, they'll be happy there too. stuffies are for comfort. they understand. they love you too. it's okay.

[most-definitively-a-human]

My mini zine, An Ode to Cold Brew, is currently available digitally, with the verso an exclusive joy for when the the physical version becomes available! ☺️❤️ Thanks for reading!

[most-definitively-a-human]

This post is just like those "How to Study like a Harvard Student!" Things but for ND people with executive dysfunction who can't even START studying.

Listen to Music, seriously it works so well. If you speak multiple languages, listen to music in the one you ARE NOT using. Listening to music w/o words is good for things like essays and reading, but with things like math, I 100% recommend listening to anything you really like. I can leave song reccs for no word songs if anyone wants them.

Put on a movie, TV show, or video you've already seen a million times. It works the same as the music, but you're more likely to be distracted. It's important that you've already seen it. Otherwise, you'll just end up watching TV.

Buy stationary that you LIKE and ENJOY USING. If you see pens that you REALLY LIKE but the other pens are cheaper, get the ones you actually like. You will use them more. You will *enjoy* using them.

Not so much related to executive dysfunction, but I HIGHLY recommend getting folders for your classes. Even if it's only for a few, if you pull it out at the beginning, you'll have all your stuff inside and a place where you can put your papers instead of just shoving it into your bag.

Let yourself stim out loud while you do homework. Seriously, it can help you remember things and help you stay focused.

Eat your favourite snacks or drink something you enjoy drinking. It makes doing things so much more bearable, plus free dopamine.

(Edit: I reblogged some of people's additional thoughts)

I can't really think of anything else, but feel free to add stuff in the comments.

Disclaimer for the masses, I am not a doctor. These are from my own personal experience as someone w audhd. :)

[most-definitively-a-human]

poor memory is a huge deal and i wish people wouldn't diminish it by saying "oh yeah i can't remember what i had for breakfast lol."

i can't remember the first 10 years of my life. i can't remember entire days, weeks, months at a time. i can't remember entire people, i can't remember names or faces. i can't remember when things are scheduled for, my calendar app on my phone is booked to the max with reminders and task checklists. i can't remember when i moved into what home when, i can't remember important milestone dates like when i got or lost certain jobs, or when i started a new hobby.

that's what i mean when i say i have poor memory. poor memory is so scary for the person who has it. it's not a quirky thing, everyone forgets small details. memory problems are scary because you can go through entire events or days with no memory, or plan for things in the future that you can't recall ever even looking into or scheduling. it's not a funny haha kind of thing, it's serious, and it affects a lot of people in very unavoidable ways.

not being able to plan for appointments or work schedules, not being able to remember people's names or faces, not being able to recall whether or not you were present for something or whether or not you met someone, not being able to keep track of what's happening on what dates and losing track of items because you can't remember where you put them are all very real problems, and anyone dealing with them deserves to be taken seriously, and not diminished when they choose to speak up about it.

[most-definitively-a-human]

I’ve seen quite a few people this past week ask something along the lines of ‘how to be up-to-date and properly informed about current events and politics and also not get super depressed?’

While most of these were phrased in a joking matter, it actually is a really good question. Being able to balance awareness of the shitty things happening in the world, but not letting that shittiness destroy you is a skill.

Being well informed is vital. However, if you become so informed that it’s starting to effect your life, you’ve gone too far.

The point of being aware of current events, especially bad ones, is so you can do something about it. Read about it, post about it, donate to charity, volunteer, etc. Something you can’t do if your overwhelmed with (rightful) anger and sadness.

So the answer to the original question is that you become informed enough that you want to do something about it, but do not overload yourself to the point where you feel too depressed to take any action.

Burying your head in the sand isn’t good. But neither is doomscrolling into oblivion. Find that middle where you are actively interested in what is happening in the world, but not to the point where it becomes a hinderance to regular life.

Being aware of the world around you is super interesting, but don’t spiral. Misery loves company. Stay informed, stay active, stay hopeful.

[most-definitively-a-human]

I feel like I would have been diagnosed with OCD a lot earlier if the vast majority of screening questions (for mental illnesses in general) weren't based on the person's perception of their own behavior, in isolation. and what i mean by that is asking someone with OCD "do you wash your hands excessively?" is not a good question.

a person with OCD believes they are washing their hands the correct number of times. it's not excessive. we believe we're exhibiting best practices and helping to keep everything clean.

better questions might be, "does it seem like you wash your hands a lot more than your friends or family?" "do you get dry patches or cuts on your hands from washing your hands?" "do you find it deeply distressing, more so than how you've seen other people react, when you get something on your hands that you can't clean off right away?"

being asked "are you overly preoccupied with bugs, symmetry, and contamination?" also got "no" responses from me years ago in my life. what they didn't ask for, and didn't know, was what *exactly* I was doing in my day to day life that genuinely ate up my time and mental space to a concerning degree, but I *didn't know* that other people don't do this.

"do you spend a lot of time cleaning?" -> no, it's not a lot. it's a good amount. why?

"do you become frustrated because it seems like no one else meets your organizational and cleanliness standards - do you often 'take over' for other people because they can't do it right - do new friends seem surprised by how strict you can be about your living space?" -> oh. yeah. yeah I get it now.

[most-definitively-a-human]

nothing funnier to me than when AI does math wrong. like I get why it happens, it's a language model that's treating the numbers you feed it as words rather than integers and then giving you an answer based on how those words typically appear in a block of text instead of actually performing a calculation. but the one thing computers are genuinely incredible at. you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did, look at it it's got hallucinations

[most-definitively-a-human]

Read Degaussing on its site

Chapter 3 just finished so good time to get caught on 🌈

(Every page on Degaussing has Alt text both in english and spanish, and the site can be navigated with a screen reader)

[most-definitively-a-human]

The Golden Orchid Society was a collection of organizations in South China that began during the Qing dynasty and existed from approximately 1644 to 1949 when they were banned because they were associated with an attempt to overthrow the Manchu Emperor. Over 300 years, however, they created an order of women who stood in solidarity with other women against heterosexual marriages that were oppressive at best and far too often abusive. While some of the women may have been heterosexual and avoided marriage for reasons unrelated to their sexuality, the association clearly made a space for members who were lesbians or bisexuals. Queer women found the safety and family in the Golden Orchid Society that their biological relatives had often never provided them.

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