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[motherstyle]

GLDBLMED.

                        bastard. he scolds himself, regret rare for the wolf, but he is more often than not : selfish. his desires blind him to seeing his reflection which is not to say he believes himself to be a good person. he knows who he is, and what he has done. he is dangerous, and more often than not he puts himself in danger. a god complex and lack of fear when it comes to the idea of death, it can be a problem for those who love him, he’s found that to be a reoccurring issue throughout his marriages.   “ talk to me. ”   a half demand half plea, honey-gravel voice softened. 

ONLY A SIGH OFFERED,     bitter exasperation at its roots,       bitter as it leaves the back of throat burning.        ❛❛      what do you want me to say,    orian?      ❜❜         make no mistake:       the remnants of trepidation can still be seen lingering in the corners of her eyes,      the vague leftovers of anxiety.       it’s left her irritated,      heart weary from carrying the burden for the both of them.        ❛❛      i love you,      but i can’t make you care about yourself.      ❜❜         head shakes,      heavy earrings rattling,      &   she looks down       [   BRIEF HESITATION AT THE SCAR THAT ONLY SERVES AS A CRUEL REMINDER   ].        it’s not entirely his own fault;      she understands that danger comes with the territory,     &   she’s known that from the beginning.       but his ring is wrapped around her finger now,     &   still liz only manages a teary smile,     a weak laugh,         ❛❛      you just scare me so damn much sometimes.      ❜❜        (   I CAN’T LOSE YOU.   )

[motherstyle]

happy belated birthday 2 liz :)

[motherstyle]

The Lovers (1958) dir. Louis Malle

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Women in Revolt (Paul Morrissey, 1971)

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My first lesson: / Beauty can bite.

— Yusef Komunyakaa, from “Praising Dark Places,” Neon Vernacular: New and Selected Poems (via lifeinpoetry)

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* .  ♡  sentence  starters  ft.  nbc’s:  this  is  us  |  part one.

MAY HAVE BEEN EDITED FOR CLARITY / FEEL FREE TO CHANGE PRONOUNS.

❝ you’re the only good thing in my life. ❞

❝ i had this whole dream life that i envisioned for myself. ❞

❝ give me the magic phrase to say, to make you feel better and i’ll say it. ❞

❝ i don’t just want you to believe it. i want you to know it. ❞

❝ there is not a single day that goes by where i don’t think of what i’ve lost. ❞

❝ i took the sourest lemon that life has to offer and turned it into something resembling lemonade. ❞

❝ i’ll make you a bigger laughingstock than you already are. ❞

❝ i care what everyone thinks. you know that. ❞

❝ truth is, i never thought i’d have anything to care about again.   ❞

❝ i need to know that i can move forward. ❞

❝ i don’t know if you have some problem with that arrangement, but also, i don’t really care. ❞

❝ i did everything wrong by you. and you’ve done everything right. ❞

❝ i should’ve been there. and i’m going to be there, okay? ❞

❝ your enemies will see you exactly as you want to be seen. ❞

❝ what happens when you die? uh, is.. you die. ❞

❝ you do that a lot. doubt yourslef.  ❞

❝ they look at me like i’m a joke, right? which makes me start to think that i am a joke. ❞

❝ i’m not gonna stand for anything changing between us. ❞

❝ life is full of color. and we each get to come along and we add our own color to the painting.  ❞

❝ people will die. in our lives, people that we love. in the future. maybe tomorrow. maybe years from now. ❞

❝ there’s no dying. there’s no you or me or them. it’s just us.  ❞

❝ it’s the only thing i have left. and at first i didn’t want to wear it. i wouldn’t even look at it, but now it’s all i have and i can’t take it off now. ❞

❝ what am i doing? i’m supposed to be comforting you, not snotting all over you. ❞

❝ what happened is my ___ died. and i hated them for it. ❞

❝ i couldn’t eat for a month. and i used to wake myself up crying, so i could cry myself back to sleep again. ❞

❝ why do you push all that away? you can’t just kill the feelings like they’re some creature you’re afraid of. ❞

❝ that pain is apart of you. i can feel it. ❞

❝ i need you to know something. i want you to stand out. ❞

❝ that was a midlife crisis. but just a little one. ❞

❝ you treated me like a dog. and just like a dog, i kept coming back again and again, just hoping for a scrap from you. ❞

❝ there’s no one in this world i’d rather be too hot or too cold with. ❞

❝ when you’re a grown up, you don’t have to do the stuff you hate. ❞

❝ if i let up for a moment, i will remember that i am unwanted. and then what’ll happen to me? ❞

❝ i know you’re making fun of her, alright? that’s not cool. ❞

❝ that was real. those feelings were real and i know you know that. ❞

❝ and it doesn’t shock me that you’re scared, right? you’re horrified and you’re trying to sabotage it. ❞

❝ what might be worse than that, is that i’m not sure you’ve experienced anything real you’re entire life. ❞

❝ you have robbed me of the feeling of trust. do you understand how that feels? ❞

❝ as you get older, you might start to find that things get harder. ❞

❝ that must have been incredibly lonely. ❞

[motherstyle]

La Collectionneuse (1967)

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Hiroshima Mon Amour (1959), dir. Alain Resnais

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GLDBLMED.

                          the lounge is silent as he enters, the pack that follows is small, two or three wolves who seat themselves a careful distance from the counter, taking booths and seats just close enough to keep an eye on him. he moves slowly, purposefully, an attempt to remain casual, even as the corner of his mouth tilts upon seeing her. oh, she has him wrapped around her finger. the queen has always been more powerful than the king, and he will admit that. if only ever to her. 

                           there is a purr against the silence, fingers ache to touch, he’s been gone too long, work steals him from her, but oh, he always finds his way home.  she is perhaps, the only one to ever challenge his love for the sea, the wolf may bleed for the ocean but he craves for the moon, howls words like prayer, love letters wrapped in rose gold prose, he takes her hand, a gentle caress before he presses a kiss there.   “ miss me ? ”

HIS ABSENCE IS ALWAYS FELT ACUTELY.    a small piece of heart rendered missing,  only serving as a reminder in the form of his side of the bed gone cold,   a smoldering cigarette gone unshared.    but it is never something she holds against him;   duty calls,   &   that she has always understood.    he always returns to her,   like the tide to the shore.

she keeps herself occupied,   as she so usually does,   as she is now  –––  tucked away behind the  [  empty  ]  bar,   running through routine absentmindedly.   but ears have long - since attuned themselves to perk at the entrance of any person,  spirit,  or otherwise into her domain,   &   there’s hardly an exception made for wolves.    she’s turning around before recognition hits,   &   she’s smiling,   happiness rushing to fill the cracks that longing’s left behind,   before he can round the bar.       ❛❛    YOU KNOW I ALWAYS DO,    ❜❜       as kiss softly touches skin   &   she takes his hand in hers,   eyes sparkling with nothing less than love’s shine,      ❛❛    well,   stranger,   tell me all about it.   how did it go?   i almost started to worry  –––  you being away so long.    ❜❜

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motherstyle-a2​:

POST  -  TRAUMATIC    STRESS    DISORDER    ,          A    STUDY   .

a   small   disclaimer    :      i   am   in   no   way   qualified   to   diagnose   a   trauma-   or   stressor-related   disorder  .     this   headcanon   is   based   entirely   on   my   own   extensive   research      &    my   personal   interpretation   of   canon   events   .      please   be   warned   that   considerably   heavy   material   is   discussed   throughout   the   following   meta   .

Read More Now!

[motherstyle]

“I will turn myself into a gun, because I’m hungry and hollow and just want something to call my own.”

— Richard Siken, Wishbone 

[motherstyle]

liz deserves to be happy twenty four fucking seven and that’s just HOW IT IS

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Susan Hampshire - Malpertuis (1971)

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before i get this blog rolling again / before i get around to putting up a rules page, i wanna preface all that by saying:

for a couple Reasons, my portrayal of liz from here on out will be faceclaim-less & i won’t be using icons. i most likely won’t be reposting gifsets/images of her from hotel either, unless i change my mind later on down the road.

that being said, everything else will be more or less the same; however, i’m not going to be considering episodes 1-3 of hotel canon.

this blog will be super low activity most likely until ahs season (if we get ahs season this year).

[motherstyle]

ah shit here we go again ,