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[mothhivequeen]

Tf2 mercs as horror movie deaths

I’m being so fucking for real with these like spiritually

Scout

In the first Scream, when that chick gets caught in the doggie door and Ghostface opens the garage door, subsequently chopping the woman

Scout would die like this because 1: he’s desperately trying to escape, to a rat like extent and 2: of course he’d be in such a blunder

Such a dumbass way to go. The fuck you mean you got stuck?? in the GARAGE door?? 😭😭💀 the others would make fun of him for it too

Here lies a dumbfuck

Sniper

The old gays in The Last of Us but no companion

Sniper would totally survive out in the woods and also totally give the fuck up

He would get tired of fighting the zombies. He wouldn’t give up, but if something happened that lowered his quality of life, he would end it right there no question

Professionals have standards, after all

Heavy

He would be that old guy in pet cemetery who gets his face cut off by evil baby tate 👹

Tate sliced the man’s Achilles tendon. If Heavy hit the ground, it would be earth shattering

I just know that bitch can’t crawl

Medic would sew his face back on and make out with him fr

Soldier

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

It would take some industrial steel to kill this beast. The horsepower of a chainsaw and power of friendship from the psycho fam could take him down

Soldier would absolutely survive Michael Myers, Jason, Freddy, Ghostface (weak bitch), and every slasher who doesn’t have machinary

He would punched Michael in the face and probably spank the bastard too

Blood war paint 🎨

Medic

That bitch the killer 😭

Could be a nurse killed by Michael Myers but they might have sex instead

He just freaky like that idk

Engineer

Based off vibes, I’d want to say the mannequin scene in I Know What You Did Last Summer. The energy just matches

Realistically though, Engie would either die in some gruesome workshop accident like in Chucky, or be lured to his death through an act of kindness

disemboweled by a table saw like a real one

Demoman

Killing him wouldn’t take much outside influence

Drunk at camp crystal lake, able to scrap but unable to survive

He and Jason would beef it out a bit and he would probably light that bitch on fire, but Jason would wear him down eventually

Would not make it to the underground tunnels his ass is dead by the fire

Spy

This one was hard. Spy is intelligent enough and heavily dignified, so he wouldn’t find himself on the shores of camp crystal lake or the fields of rural texas

He would be the middle of the human centipede

There would be an escape attempt, and if he made it out, he wouldn’t go back for the other girl

Pyro!

The nanny in The Omen who kills herself on Damien’s birthday? She’s so Pyro

Manipulated by a sinister force? Smile and a wave as she swings through a window?

Pyro would do a little hop instead of falling forward

[mothhivequeen]

hey since you’ve posted two pieces in a row about my boy Scout I was wondering if maybe you could write more your thoughts/your hcs about him? I think he’s really interesting and I don’t often see people realize that he’s more complex that what he seems, like this man just seems very sad inside. i really like your analyses and your takes are some of my favorites

hope you have a good day!

Appreciate it! Although I probably won't say anything particularly new... Okay, let's talk about Scout!

Though he no doubt wears the persona of a confident cool guy, protecting his ego from vulnerability, I wouldn't say there's sadness inside him. More accurate would be fear.

People with sadness baggage are pretty passive and quiet. And Scout's reaction is to hit, run, scare away, cling anxiously to the object of security. That's fear. He's fearful.

He doesn't think about it much, he's a pretty happy guy in the environment he's in. But if something makes him go off the rails and he starts, God forbid, thinking.....

His core fear is not living up to his place in the world. He knows there's a place for him, but for some reason he feels like people think he's not good enough to take it. Anyone better and stronger could take his place at any time. He's on bird's rights here.

Growing up with older brothers, being not good at school, being the smallest and youngest mercenary of the team, this feeling doesn't leave him ever. It's a tiresome inner struggle: "How do I make my stay secure?", "How do I become worthy?"

Falling into this cognitive trap of searching for self validation in the outside world instead of inside of himself, he was doomed to be stuck in ambivalence:

To continue to pretend, risking being exposed as an imposter, or to be sincere and inevitably endure the unbearable pain of rejection and loneliness?

He laughs and taunts and overexplains himself so much. He clings to the only thing he's better than everyone at. He overcompensates; he demands attention and tries to make himself bigger. He hates being alone as it basically feels like being actually pushed off his place in the world. He clings to people but immediately pushes them away for being too dangerously close to finding out his fears. He needs to be with everyone to know and to control what they think about him.

And it never makes him calm down anyway, since all those efforts take a lot of energy. Tiresome to be, tiresome to pretend. And the prize is nowhere near the sight.

This loop of pain will never end, unless he breaks the very core mindset of his. The answer is stepping into this fear, but he can't even think about it! It feels like death! His ego will die and it's going to feel like he's dying as a whole.

A full existential, primal fear of an child to be rejected by his parent. "Not worthy of living".

(Based on the Lise Bourbeau's model of 5 soul wounds: Abandonment)

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Prescription Glasses

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These are fun to make

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in the club freakin it in a sensitive style

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Png made by @tf2-pngs 🤩

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Image: Taunt: The Stupid Face from Steam Community Workshop

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[mothhivequeen]

One of these images is of a woman’s breasts in tight-fitting athletic clothing. The other is vacuum-sealed fruit.

If you’re unsure which is which, you should probably stop drawing female superheroes.

[mothhivequeen]

Why do you say men are objects? That’s not true and hurtful

men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

[mothhivequeen]

ALL MY FELLAS | cr: Colonel Fanzipantzen

[mothhivequeen]

>;p

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wednesday shitposting