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Fortesa Latifi, from The Truth About Grief.

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@pscentral event 17: minimalism ⤷ All my grief says the same thing - this isn't how it's supposed to be. And the world laughs, holds my hope by my throat, says: but this is how it is. — Fortessa Latifi

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Oh my fucking god I forgot to stay silly

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with all due respect, which is none,

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Scenery in The Last of Us 22/??

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“I keep wondering, how many people do you need to be, before you can become yourself.”

— Iain S. Thomas

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I told you a real fucking story. I did tell you a real fucking story!

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I’M SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER JOEL, BUT I HAVE LOST PEOPLE TOO.

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Abigail “Abby” Anderson 11/??

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Speaking of books and reading... Owen had found an entirely undamaged copy of The Count of Monte Cristo. He came across a storage unit about a month back during his explorations on the mainland and found containers upon containers of books left forgotten. The use of plastic containers instead of cardboard boxes helped with their preservation from time and the elements. He assumed the previous owner could have been a collector or a librarian so it was like stumbling upon a treasure trove and he immediately thought of Abby and her love of fiction and adventure novels. It took a solid forty minutes for him and two other Fireflies to haul those containers out of the hot and dusty unit and load them up to be taken to the public library on Catalina but it was well worth the effort. The three of them had gotten dibs on the first picks.

Upon unpacking some of those books when he brought them to his new home, he wrapped The Count up in a layer of paper affixed with twine to gift to Abby at some point. "There's this book I've been meaning to give you," he said, his eyes briefly leaving the road to look at her. "I'll remember to grab it for you later." All of her stuff was left behind at the stadium and although he couldn't replace the things she brought with her from Jerry's office in Saint Mary's, he could give her this book. And whatever else she wanted to have from Owen's personal collection. He had to laugh about what Abby said regarding food prep. "Oh, that's right. You had someone planning and prepping your meals when you first started packing on muscle years ago. You were too occupied with your workout schedule to keep up with eating the proper meals on time."

When the conversation drifted into the subject of movies, Owen drummed his fingers against the steering wheel as he mentally browsed through the catalogue of DVDs he and his housemate shared. "We've got the whole Alien collection. Up to Prometheus, I think. That was the last one before the outbreak. Ian loves the eighties classics so you can count on him having shit like Chucky, Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street. Texas Chainsaw, too, probably. He hoards any DVDs he finds." Owen was quiet for a bit before... "Soooo, rom-coms are completely out of the question?" The shit-eating grin that accompanied would give him away. He actually hated those kinds of movies. Preferred the horror and action genres. Anything animated was good as well.

He had a fair point though Abby didn’t really consider herself much fo a book worm in that aspect. Yes, she enjoyed reading but it wasn’t manuals and how to’s she dove in to when picking up a book They were mainly works of fiction, a way to get out of the world she was in and into another that was more idyllic than the hellish reality they all were a part of. If anything, she felt like she was street smart, not book smart. Her dad was full of book smarts but Abby, not so much. It was experience and not text that taught her more than anything. “I read for fun, not to learn. Hand me some manual and I will fall asleep.” Speaking of sleep, she was absolutely zapped and was glad that they had decided to make their getaway. Any longer, she might have fallen asleep on the sand and woken up entirely fried. A nice shower and some dinner would do her well.

With a bit of a yawn, Abby slouched down low into the passenger seat to get comfortable. “I am great right now, if you want to go slow be my guest. I can at least fall asleep if I wanted.” She lazily looked in his direction with a bit of a grin and returned the leg bump. “Wake me when we get there?” she quipped, knowing full well he wouldn’t actually go five miles an hour. “Spending an hour prepping meals when it takes 15 minutes to eat feels like like kind of a waste of time unless it’s a really, really good meal. But speaking of movies - what movies are in the lineup for tonight? Need a good one, no drama or romance or anything. Need some action, maybe scary.” She had already scooted to sit up again, her slouched posture not all that comfortable.

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It was Jack's barking that made Ellie look over her shoulder. Mere moments later there he was, almost knocking her off the plastic crate she was sitting on and she had to extend one arm to prevent any of her tea being spilled while the other playfully fended Jack off. "Hey you. Settle down—" Jack pushed his chest against the forearm that was holding him back to lick at Ellie's face. "Settle," she repeated a little more sternly. A good morning doggy kiss—albeit wet and maybe a little gross—was enough to make her crack a smile. He sat down in front of her, tail moving to and fro. A good boy.

Green eyes flickered in Abby's direction when the woman went to retrieve her gun only to focus on the much more welcomed arrival of Lev instead. It was easier to block out Abby's presence as much as possible... Especially after yesterday.

"... Morning," Ellie replied with a sniff. Her voice was still husky from sleep and sounded more like a rumble. "I guess so. The fresh air always helps me sleep." Ellie could sense that Abby was ready to get going; they shared the same sentiment. She petted Jack's head and stood up, turning to Lev with her tea still in hand. "Want the rest?" He simply nodded and took out his own cup so she could fill it with what remained in the pot. The steaming brew was something that gave him the boost he needed after waking up this early and it had become part of their morning routine. Ellie dried out the small pot, tucked it away then shouldered her rucksack without further ado. Wordlessly, he handed over her bow and rifle and she in turn nodded her thanks.

It was Lev that took the lead, walking ahead to enjoy his tea with Jack beside him. Leaving the two women to follow. Ellie fell into step with Abby and it seemed as though she wanted to say something but instead let the silence linger. It took about two minutes for her to actually open her mouth. "I left them flowers." She came across these purplish-blue wildflowers (blue fax they were called but of course Ellie had no idea) that she gathered when it was bright enough to do so and left one bunch on the grave she saw Abby at and another on Marlene's. It was the least Ellie could do.

Besides, she would never come back here.

Abby didn’t stop, only turning to look back when she was near the building again in the others direction but she was nowhere to be found. The rustling of leaves and cracks of branches was faint, but enough that Abby knew that’s where she was. Just as she said. The best she could hope for was that she would either come to her senses and come inside or that they would see her there in the morning. Wasn’t holding her breath on either option. Getting back inside and up to the room was eerily silent, more so than when they had all first entered. She knocked against the door with the middle knuckle of her index finger to alert Lev she was back before heading inside. The first thing she was greeted with was a look of concern from both human and dog. The lack of rifle was immediately noticeable and she didn’t exactly look happy. “Abby, your gun…” “She’s alive, if that’s what you’re wondering. Sleeping outside.” Her last statement was punctuated with a shrug as she was too tired to give a shit right now. “Do you need me to go to her?” “No.” Her answer was short and sweet. Letting her be was the best both of them could do.

Flopping down onto the couch, Abby shimmied out of her backpack straps and placed it on the ground near where Jack was quietly laying and observing. “Do you need to talk?” Lev’s voice was quiet, always so in tune with how she was feeling. Shaking her head in his direction, she laid back on the couch and turned so that her face was to the cushions, back facing outwards. “Get some sleep, we have a long day tomorrow.” The room was silent once more, the only sounds the quiet breathing around here and some adjusting here and there every so often. There was barely any sleep to be had but whatever she did get was plagued by restlessness and near nightmares. When she finally woke in the morning, Lev was already up and watching her. Jack was too and it was a bit unsettling to have so many eyes on her first thing. “Morning to you too,” she mumbled and sat up. The sun was already creeping through the blinds and she knew they needed to get a move on soon. “She’s still here. I checked this morning.” With a nod, Abby stood a bit groggily and swung her bag over her shoulders. “Keep me sane today, will ya?”

With that, they were quick to pack up. Food could be had on the road and Abby didn’t want to spend any more time in this godforsaken place. Outside it was warm and she was grateful for the fresh air. Jack was quick to bark as soon as they were outside and Abby waved him off to make a beeline to Ellie. “So fuckin help me,” she muttered under her breath, shooting a glance over to the man. No words were needed and Lev simply nodded as they approach the makeshift camp. Abby was quick to take her rifle back, taking a couple of steps backwards frm the camp to keep her distance. “Good morning, did you sleep well out here?” Lev asked, far more polite than Abby would have been.

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