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have fun comic book fans

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Maybe we don’t think about them much, but they’re every where. Countless movies, tv shows, and video games. I’m no expert on the ninja turtles, but I’m sure there’s someone that can take these guys down. 

Then there’s the argument “who would protect the city if the ninja turtles aren’t there?” 

The city’s government can figure that out of themselves, just as long as the remakes and the sequels stop.

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The Horror Movies - all wrapped into one

I’m talking about the Halloween movies (10), the Jason movies (12) and the Friday the 13th movies (11).

I haven’t seen all of these movies, so to me it is not clear if Michael Meyers, Jason, or Freddy are alive or not - though I’m going with not.

Being that I don’t think that they are actually alive, we can’t end these movies by killing the main characters. Maybe exorcise them? I’m not really sure how that would work. 

Hollywood has done a damn good job making these characters invincible. For Pete’s sake they had Jason killing people in space. They could keep these movies going on for generations and they probably will, to be honest.

I don’t have any ideas on how to put an end to Mike, Jason, or Freddy but please, comment your ideas.

For the love of all that is holy, stop these movies. They’re not even that good!!! Make new ones. 

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Disney recently announced a fourth High School Musical movie (not including Sharpay’s own spin off movie). But do we really need another one of these movies? What are they going to do? Sing and dance their way through college dorms and on campus? I can assure you, college students are too tired for that shit. Here’s what would happen in High School Musical, The College Years: In a Puddle of Their Own Tears.

Gabriella goes to Stanford, Troy goes to University of California, Berkeley (which is not far from Stanford). Ryan and Kelsie go to Julliard on their scholarships. Sharpay and Chad go to University of Albuquerque. Taylor goes to Yale.

Even though Gabriella and Troy are only an hour from each other, they rarely get to see each other. At first they text and keep in touch, but their schedules never lined up. Gabriella is swamped in work and between basketball practices and acapella rehearsals, Troy hardly has the time to answer her phone calls. When school is not in session, they catch up with each other, but because of the lost contact, they are no longer romantically interested in each other. 

Gabriella goes on to become a highly successful lawyer while Troy ends up becoming a police officer in his hometown - he could never decide which to go with, basketball or performing, so he made the both of them hobbies.

Ryan succeeds at Julliard and flourishes without Sharpay. Though Kelsie also attends Julliard, her and Ryan are in different worlds - Ryan in the world of performing and Kelsie in the world of playwrighting. They both become very successful in their own fields.

Sharpay majors in performing arts and goes on to act in some commercials, small plays, and scores some small parts in movies. She struggles for a while, can barely afford her rent, finds it difficult to find a consistent job that will work with her dream of acting. She waits tables at a nearby diner to help her get by.

Chad thought he would be a great basketball player in college,but quickly realizes almost everyone on the team is better him. He makes basketball his only focus and fails his classes in his first semester. He does better in his second, but basketball still takes precedence. He focuses so much on basketball that he never considers a back-up plan. When he doesn’t get offers from any NBA teams after graduation, he becomes depressed and starts drinking and doing drugs. Behind on his rent, he gets kicked out of his apartment. He lives back home for a while, but his parents throw him out when they notice his drug problem.  

Though Yale is tough on her, Taylor graduates at the top of her class. Taylor goes on to become a world-renowned scientist and is currently working on the cure for cancer.

The End.

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How many movies did we need about lions? 3 (not including the few spin-offs) seems more than enough for me. Ruining this one is going to be quite simple:

Deforestation in the jungle. 

Boom. 

That’s it.

No survivors.

There can’t be a King of the jungle if there’s no jungle.

But, for your entertainment...

The animals start to notice human presence in the Pride Lands. Simba tries to calm the other animals down and explains how they may be able to live in harmony. But when Rifiki reports back to Simba that his home in the trees had been destroyed, the animals get nervous. Though Simba instructs them to stay in their lands, some animals leave in search for a new home. Some of the animals that stayed plot their revenge against the humans, which is against the wishes of Simba. This creates a divide in the animal kingdom - there are the ones that follow Simba and the ones that plot revenge. 

The day comes when the animals are ready to attack. They charge toward the humans, who are still taking down the trees of their jungle. Little did they know the humans are prepared to fight. Though some humans are killed, the humans successfully kill or scare off the animals that attacked them. 

All of the animals are in danger when the humans start to hunt the animals for their hides, tusks, and meat. Simba, his family, and a few others successfully protect themselves from the humans, they can’t hold them off for long and they are captured and brought to a zoo in the United States.

The End. 

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At the end of Toy Story 3, Andy gave his toys to his young neighbor, Bonnie. 

Smart move, made it easy to keep Toy Story going on for ever and ever. Not if we can help it - here’s our suggestion for Toy Story 4 (which is supposed to be coming out in 2019 by the way *rolls eyes*)

Bonnie loves the toys Andy gave her just as much as she loves her own. She plays with all of the toys for years. She played with them less and less as she entered the third grade, but still played with them a little and took good care of them. But then she got an iPhone for her 8th birthday. After she got her phone, she completely stopped playing.

She kept her favorites on her shelf,others were lost and forgot about, and the rest were in her toy box, which was put in the attic for storage.

Woody, Jessie, Mr. Pricklepants, and Buttercup were on her shelf. While they’re happy they got to stay in her room, they are sad they don’t get played with anymore. They tried to escape many times but Bonnie’s giant St. Bernard, Sampson, scares the toys into never leaving the room. They can’t get the windows open and the vents are too high. 

One day, Bonnie left her phone on her desk in her room while she went to the bathroom. Being jealous of the new toy, Woody runs across the room, hops up onto the desk and cracks the phone screen with his boot. Before he has the chance to make it look like an accident, he hears Bonnie comeback. He makes it back to the shelf, but not in his spot next to Jessie. Bonnie quickly realized the cracked screen and tries figuring out how it happened. When she turns around and sees Woody out of place, she gets suspicious. She then sets up a video camera to watch her toys while she wasn’t in the room.The toys never move again.

A few of the toys are lost and forgotten. Rex was left under the couch with his tail caught. Being that his arms are too short to free himself, he’s stuck there. Totoro was left in Bonnie’s backyard. Sampson took a liking to it and now keeps it as his own. When he’s not playing with it, he keeps the toy, well- the pieces left of him, buried under a pile of dirt. The Peas-in-a-Pod, now separated, were left in the car. Now stuck between and under the car seats, they can’t get out.

The rest of the toys were put into the attic. Despite multiple attempts, no one can find a way out. There are no windows, no vents, and the attic door locks from outside the attic. They too, are stranded.

The End.

No more Toy Story.

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this ain’t the last one

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Hey!

Kristen and Marcus here - 

We think that Hollywood needs to be more creative and come up with new ideas. Hollywood LOVES sequels and remakes. Why wouldn’t they? They’re popular and make them a lot of money. But we’re sick of watching the same movies, let the classics be classics. Hollywood’s movies are also usually pretty unrealistic. So we figured we’d give Hollywood a hand and take these movies and end them with a dose of reality.

Feel free to comment, argue, and send us your own ideas!