mphknows
mphknows
MPHknows
11K posts
Lit ToastThe T in ENTJ stands for Toast
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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There’s one (1) think in Disney’s Mulan that irks me.  The jaw line.  Mulan’s jaw line is drawn differently when she’s acting as Ping. No kidding: this is her “regular, Fa Mulan” face. In this version her jaw is even highlighted by the makeup. Look how round is it.
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and this is her Ping jaw. Square. Totally square.
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WHY?????  Isn’t consistency in the character base shapes like, an important thing??
Not to mention how she immediately regains her long lashes as soon as she is exposed. With her round jaw obviously.
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????? 
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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Adams mum has become one if my favourite characters. I LOVE MAUREEN SO MUCH!
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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The picture captions got the last one wrong. She says “criminal ass” not “poor little ass”
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my favorite scene in the whole tv history
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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I would like to add some of my favorites. 
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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Boone: We should really start learning people's names.
Raul: I agree with the sad bald sniper.
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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MORE NEW VEGAS JUNK
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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talk like a normal person for once, ben-man
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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I have had the very loud and very persistent thought of "ALL CHIHUAHUAS GO TO VALHALLA" for the past hour or so so I think Odin's drunk and yelling universal secrets again
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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I love ferret-fighting etiquette so much.  Like, when ferrets fight, they get so wild and crazy that they crash into everything and fall off everything and throw themselves in every direction and flail with their mouths open as if they have absolutely no concept of their surroundings.
But if one ferret stops in the middle of a fight to scratch an itch (which happens a LOT), the other ferret will always stop and wait for them to finish before starting the fight again.  My 10+ ferrets over the years have always obeyed this unspoken rule and I think that’s so awesome.
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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Fat Fred
(via Dahlcat)
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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When I was a kid, my mom was a judge and my dad was starting his solo practice, and they both worked full time. There were four of us kids between the ages of one and seven (the Just Us League) and no decent daycares nearby, so they hired a nanny.  She had three almost-adult children, and on days when she couldn’t work, one of her kids would substitute. The oldest kid was named Bob, age 18, and he had just finished army basic training when this all went down. Bob did not have the good sense god gave a rock. 
I have an older brother, Jake, who was seven; then me, Hellen, age five, then Seth, age three, and my little sister Gin would have been one. It was late August, and we were at our nanny’s house, though she was gone for the day. Bob was in charge.
Bob should probably not have been in charge.
Bob tried keeping us entertained with board games and tag and movies. Gin took a nap. Eventually he decided to get creative, and sat us down in the living room with a game and vanished into the garage. There was a smashing sound. And then some saw noises. And then some hammering. And then we saw him going around the house to the back yard through the windows, though we were too short to see what he was doing. And finally, he yelled to us to come out into the driveway. 
Jake and Seth and I trooped out. Bob had both hands behind his back. He stepped up to Jake and revealed what he had in his right hand. 
It was a wooden sword. It was clearly made from what appeared to be parts of a chair’s legs, cut down and nailed together. He presented this, and announced, “You are Sir Jake, the strongest knight!” 
He stepped up to Seth and presented what was in his left hand. It was another wooden sword, smaller than the first, also crudely made out of chair legs. He announced, “You are Sir Seth, the bravest knight!”
At this point, I was practically vibrating in place, waiting eagerly for my sword so I could use it to whale on my brothers, as god intended me to do. I was therefore understandably disappointed to be presented with the business end of a garden hose and told, “You are Miss Hellen, the Water Fairy!”
“No,” I said. “I want a sword.”
Bob was confused. “But you get water magic! Magic’s great!”
“No.” I repeated, holding the hose. It had a spray nozzle set to jet. “I want a sword.”
“Magic’s great. Magic’s better than a sword.” Bob insisted. “You’ll see. Wait here a moment.”
And then Bob ran around the side of house and vanished. 
We stood in the driveway. Jake and Seth poked each other with their swords. I spritzed them idly with the hose, trying to decide which of them would be easier to steal a sword from. 
And then we heard a quiet wooshing noise, and smelled smoke. 
We turned. As we watched, a line of fire rushed around the corner of the house, consuming a path of gasoline poured into the dry August grass. 
We paused and considered this for a few moments. I raised the hose and sprayed a jet of water at the fire. It went out. We glanced at each other. Then we took off running, following the trail of fire, spraying as we went. 
The fire led in a path around the house to the back yard. As we turned the corner, we saw Bob, clad in a bathrobe and holding a curtain rod, standing in the center of a large ring of burning grass. He cackled manically. “I am the FIRE WIZARD! Your puny swords are useless! Nothing but water magic can defeat me!”
I promptly blasted him with the hose. He spluttered. The fire did not go out. 
I turned the hose on the fire itself, spraying a section close to us so that it would extinguish. As soon as there was enough room, Jake charged forward, brandishing his chair leg sword with a battle cry. Seth, always happy to be included, followed. They ran into the circle and began beating Bob around the kneecaps with their swords. I kept spraying. 
Eventually, Bob the Fire Wizard was brought down and all the fire was extinguished. Seth and Jake continued to work on bruising Bob’s shins, and I quickly discarded the hose to lend my fists and extremely pointy elbows to the cause. Bob lay in the smoldering grass, probably regretting using such sturdy chair legs. 
Once we’d all tired ourselves out and lay panting in a heap, Bob decided it was time for the moral of the story. “You see, a sword is nothing compared to the power of a little girl with **magic**.” 
We thought about this for a few moments. Bob nodded wisely. Jake and Seth nodded back. 
“I still want a sword.” I said. 
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mphknows · 5 years ago
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YouTubers when they hit a subscriber milestone:
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Jenna Marbles when she hits a subscriber milestone:
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mphknows · 6 years ago
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At the age of 19 Padme Amidala was the queen of a planet and had already saved her people from total crisis
At the age of 19 Anakin Skywalker was married and a general in a galaxy wide war and was considered to be one of the most powerful Jedi in history 
At the age of 19 Leia Organa was a senator in the imperial senate as well as a leader and spy for the Rebellion
At the age of 19 Luke was making vroom vroom noises with his toy planes 
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I love him so much
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