mpreggies-blog

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new bloge doriteos

i cant stay off tumblr

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this is the end of my queue. i leave you all with one last image. remember me. remember hte spagheti.

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which country has the most birds

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whats stopping us from getting married oh right ur a chicken nugget

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ONE TIME MY PARENTS WENT TO GO GET PIZZA AND MY DAD WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND MY MOM FORGOT HIM AT THE PIZZA PLACE AND CAME HOME AND STARTED EATING THE PIZZA AND THEN WONDERED WHERE MY DAD WENT AND THEN REMEMBERED HE WASN’T IN THE CAR ON THE WAY HOME

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“you’re not hungry you’re just bored”

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I’m cute if you close your eyes. 

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if rappers dont call their song sheets “wrapping paper” then they are missing out on a great opportunity

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do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren’t even talking

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i can’t wait til like 60 years from now when all these white girl grannies have “forever young” still tattooed on their wrists

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once i was at a party and they asked me what my dad did for a living and said that he died when i was 12 and of course i hear the collective “aaawww im so sorry”

and then i hear some girl whisper from the back “you’re halfway to becoming batman”

AND THAT IS HOW I MET ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS MORAL OF THE STORY IS IF YOU USE BLACK HUMOUR I WILL LOVE YOU

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