mr-claus

[mr-claus]

the real danger of spending too much time with friends is you stumble out of ten days of happiness and good food like oh my god THAT was real life. my job means NOTHING

[mr-claus]

king arthur in a crop top that says ‘heavy is the chest that wears the tits’

[mr-claus]

Sometimes i send the most absurdist asks to people not for them to post but just for them to enjoy

[mr-claus]

aah man microsft isnt working and my emails arent sending im blaming steve

[mr-claus]

So now thats its monday we have a new manager and weve been calling him arbuckle

day 4 of drinking diet pepsi that my husband bought to make me regular and i went to the doctor but they said diet pepsi is giving me lapdances?

anyways to all the garfield haterz, i hope your next lasgna is made of lettuce instead of pasta

[mr-claus]

I invited steve for pepsi but he cant drink caffiene and he fucked my vcr but at least hes not fucking inkjet 2a anymore

[mr-claus]

Hello im regular now I promise

i drank the pepsi

which printer do i print this document? inkjet 2? no that one is broken i broke it it whispered a series of binary code that amounted to calling your mama fat as hell and i couldnt let that slide but inkjet 2a is also broken because steve fucked it

steve put his dick in the damn ink slot and now its broken

can I just fax it to myself?

[mr-claus]

desegregate all sports now. no more gendered sports. its stupid

if you absolutely must, in primarily muscle force-based sports, create competitive classes like in boxing except separated by body comp, not just pure body weight. i mean, if you must. this will eliminate any tiny advantages in muscle mass. some will say basketball should have height classes but frankly some of the NBA's most impressive players were not tall so idk that this actually matters ever

the primary athletic impediment to all women is overwhelmingly cultural and psychological. i have won probably half the physical competitions with cis men that i have engaged in, friendly or otherwise. even without the benefit of a lifetime of people trying to make me throw or hit balls, i have won wrestling matches, sparring matches, funny backyard foam sword fights, video games, equestrian activities, dance, endurance tests of various kinds, etc. i'm small and weak. men think theyre stronger and more skilled than they are, women think the opposite about themselves

humans just arent that differently-sized or -shaped, as a species. we have almost no sexual dimorphism at all compared to the vast majority of other mammals.

animals that have similar levels of sexual dimorphism to humans, for example cats, dogs, and horses, do not generally have competitive events segregated by sex. the dog agility trials dont normally have separate leagues for male and female dogs (gendered competitions exist they're just unusual). because it doesnt matter. there is no kentucky derby 2 just for girl horses. thats not a thing

remove all gendered categories from online shopping websites and universalize clothing and shoe sizing. im sick of having to search two entirely different sections of ebay when im just trying to find a nice velvet loafer in size 39 EU. what the hell is "women's clothing"

[mr-claus]

Antofagasta de la Sierra - a volcanic field in Argentina

[mr-claus]

My best corporate skill is emailing. I write emails so good and sum them up in the subject line so well. Im so adept at the proffessional intercourse that is the email delivery systems ill respond before you even think about emailing me. I know you so well I know your thoughts and i know you need to use Inkjet 2 to print that document not inkjet 2a

anyways my husband bought my diet pepsi and im gonna be so regular now.

[mr-claus]

[mr-claus]

it’s 2028. trump is dead. elon is dead. zuckerberg is dead bezos is dead they’re all dead

[mr-claus]

I have no idea who or what carhartt is but i always see big boys wearing em so they have my full support

[mr-claus]

[mr-claus]

thank you osha thank you shift limits thank you mandatory breaks thank you overtime pay thank you labour laws thank you workers rights thank you unions thank you protesters thank you advocates thank you workers!!!!!!!

[mr-claus]

u should read this

[mr-claus]