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36. #ItsTime
-Rain poured down outside the entrance to the cave I found myself in once more, the sound vibrating throughout the big space and landing on the ears of the wolf laying with his head on his paws. Eyes closed as I listened to the water falling to the floor and the thunder striking in the distance. It calmed my soul in ways that not many things could anymore. I had been having a difficult time since I woke up, finding it hard to sleep or do anything but worry about what would happen next. If they would find me once more and if this time I'd be a goner for real. My mind was constantly racing but tonight I felt calm as I lay there, listening. Letting the pitter patter of raindrops lul me off into sleep I needed so desperately.
I wasn't sure how long I was asleep for when I was woken up by an ear piercing scream that made my blood run cold from somewhere outside. I was up on my feet and running in a second, not thinking about what it might be or that I could be running into a dangerous situation. I just wanted to find who it belonged to and wanted to help. If I was thinking logically I would know running in head first wasn't the best option but I wasn't, I was thinking with my heart. Help whoever it was.
I was a lone wolf in a world full of unknowns and I was going to go up against whatever it was regardless of what might happen to me. I was reckless to say the least but there was a part of me that didn't care anymore because of the fact that I was alone. If the least I could do was help someone else then so be it. At least I would have done something good in my life among all the horrible things I have done. At least for once there would have been some goodness within in. It wouldn't make up for the years I spend stealing from the rich but hey it was something.
As my paws hit the ground while I ran, I lifted my snout to sent the air around me, trying to find any trace of what that could have been or where it came from but I couldn't find anything. It was like I dreamed it up but I was sure it was real. I spend the next hour trying to find any trace of someone being in the woods around me to no avail.
Finally giving up, I make my way back towards the cave I used the previous night only to be stopped in my tracks. A stranger stood in my pathway, his body and face covered with a black coat, hiding himself from me. My eyes scanning over him as a low growl left me. That caused him to chuckle lowly before he spoke. "Calm down, little wolf. I couldn't save you just for you to get killed in that cave." As he spoke I tilted my head, I knew the voice. But once again he isn't letting me see him. His words confused me as well. Die in the cave? What was he talking about?
And as if on cue I heard a chorus of howls coming from the direction the cave was in, making me step back slightly. Fuck. "Its okay, they won't find you right now. But it's time for you to go home. And I don't mind the cave you loved in before I found you. Go home, little wolf. Stop hiding from the world. Stop telling yourself it's to keep everyone around you safe because you can't control your wolf. We all know that isn't true. You have ample control unless you are in danger. It's time. Nothing good will come of you living this way. Stop being scared of what will happen in the real world. And take back what was once yours. Be brave, little wolf. It will work out in the end. And they won't attack in a place full of humans. Find a way to get rid of them while surrounded by humans. I can't always look out for you even if I wanted to."
He was right in from of me now, his hand outstretched and fingers running along my head between my ears. Big palm resting there for a few moments before he withdraws. "Now go. I'll make sure they won't follow you. And I'll see you again. You can be sure of that." I could imagine the smirk he gave as he said those last words, it was clear in his tone of voice. Even if I was able to say something, I couldn't because he was gone just as quickly.
I looked around for a few moments, thinking about what he said before I turned around and ran off, I knew where I had houses that were my own but finding them wouldn't be that easy. Especially since I wasn't even sure where exactly I was right now but he was right. It was time to get back to reality and live my life. I could do that while trying to find a solution to my "wolves wanting me dead" problem. And to the identity of the stranger that keeps saving my life. I still wanted the why of that. So there are plenty of reasons to finally go back to a city instead of living like a damn hermit in a cave.-
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35. #LightOfDay
-Once again I found myself floating in an endless sea of black nothingness, drowning on the dark that surrounded me but this time I knew I could get out. They wouldn't keep me down here. I wouldn't allow it. I would get out of this hellhole that my own mind had created for me and get back to the land of the living. But first I had to get the other half of me. At first I didn't know what the stranger was talking about but it soon dawned on me that I hadn't heard my wolf speaking to me in a while and that needed to end.
Clearing everything else away, I focus on the beast that lived inside of me, calling to him. We had become one in so many ways in the last year that I knew he would answer me eventually. It was a big change from the first time I learned what I was, when I had refused to let him out to the point he fought his way out. I wasn't wrong about him answering me. It took some time but finally I could feel him, annoyed that I dared to bother him when he was trying to recoup. Like hiding would help with that. 'It's time. I can't wake up without you. And I'm done with being here. How long has it been? We need out. Now. We both deserve to see the light of day, to run around. Let's do this.'
He didn't argue with me, he was just as ready as I was to leave. To find freedom again, to be in the living world and not trapped wherever it was we were now. So together we pushed at the barrier that was put in place to keep us inside. Pushed our way out of the dark sea and into what should be the real world. Nothing would stop us, nothing would keep us locked here any longer. As a team we fought with all we had until the darkness faded away.
My eyes flew open as I shot upright, sucking in a deep breath. Heart pounding in my chest as I sat there. I was scanning around to figure out where I was and where the stranger was that had brought me here and saved my life but also trapped me in my own head. But alas I didn't see anyone and I couldn't make out where I was. It was just a cave as far as I could tell. That frustrated me because I wanted to know who the one was that kept calling me "little wolf" but it seemed like I wouldn't.
With a shake of my head, I pushed myself up and headed towards where I could smell fresh air. Wanting to see the sunlight. I was a little unstable on my feet since it had been who knows how long since I moved around and ate something substantial. I finally saw rays of sunshine shining in, each small step bringing me closer to my freedom. The moment the sun hit my skin, I felt better, the soft breeze was soothing to my soul and in that moment I forgot that I was nearly killed once more and that there was someone out there that saved me. Someone that I would search for for as long as I could even if it took years. I needed to find out why he did what he did for me, what he gained from it. But that was for later, now was for savoring the sun and the wind and the fresh air. And to hunt and fill my belly.-
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34. A Glimps
-Swimming…. It felt like I was swimming in a sea of darkness and I couldn't find my way to the surface. I would be sure that I was there just for another wave go push me back down and drive me back. How long has I been struggling to push myself up out of this? How long have I been trying to escape the tendrils of darkness that were trying to keep me? How much longer will I be able to fight to get to the surface before I was exhausted and gave up? I didn't have the answers to all those questions but I did know that I would push one more time, give it my all to at least get out. I had to see the light one more time before it was completely taken from me forever.
Putting all of what I has into it, I shove myself forward, driving towards what I hoped was the light with everything I had left in me. A slither of it shone through, giving me a bit more hope than I had. It was enough for me to grab onto and fight the darkness that wanted to suck me down again. To claw my way towards something I hadn't seen in days, weeks, months. I couldn't stop. I needed this. Even if just for a moment.
Voices drifted down to me, voices I didn't know speaking, arguing more like it, about something. I focused on that to help draw me out, to guide me back from the dark pit I have even in. "You should never have done that! Now he isn't responding! What is wrong with you?" "I did what I needed to do to have time to find you. To save him. He would have died!" "Why do you care if he did? What would be the difference if one little wolf died? Tell me that!" There was silence for a few moments after this and I was straining to hear anything since I wanted to know why the stranger would do this. "There is always a good reason for everything I do but now isn't the time. He is waking up."
I felt hand press to my forehead, the first touch I could remember in God knew how long. It was gentle, big palm stroking over my forehead. "Open up little wolf. Let me see those eyes." I wanted to open my eyes, I really did but I couldn't. I wasn't sure why though. They just wouldn't open and so I began to panic. Thrashing around on the bed I was on. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I couldn't hear. I couldn't see. But I could feel and I felt the moment a big arm pressed me down, fingers stroking along my arm to soothe me. It helped a bit, making me calm down enough to finally hear the voice drifting to me. "It will be okay. Just stay calm. Your body isn't ready yet it seems. Find out wolf. Bring him back with you next time and you will open those baby blues. We will be waiting." I was confused because I wasn't gone, I was here. How could I bring him back? And then I was shoved back down. Back into the darkness that I had fought to get out of. Screaming in my head at tye mystery man that kept sending me back to the pit I hated most.-
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