mrs-awesxme-blog

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

"Not when you do it well enough to not get caught." 

My wife April is gonna kill you.

"She’s gonna do that while changing your diapers?"

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

"Apparently his main aspiration in life is to get strangled with his own intestines." 

My wife April is gonna kill you.

"She’s gonna do that while changing your diapers?"

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

Send me "Dear Diary," to read my characters would-be journal entry from the day they met yours.

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

"Hey, it's not like I was plotting    the dude's murder. But if there   is an unfortunately theatric death   then I'm going to appreciate the   work that probably went into it."

“… You love that someone   was decapitated? Makes   it easier to understand why   the lieutenant decided you   shouldn’t be looking at the   crime scene photos yet.”

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

summerxdwyer

"Before you get mad, it was completely Dad’s fault. I was just an innocent bystander." Summer lied.

"Sure, Summer." April smiled, keeping her eyes on her daughter. "Just remember I can smell fear and lies." 

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

"You  look  like a  guy  that   can keep a secret. Maybe   you  should  just  look the   other  way while  I  look at   these nasty murders. This   guy  lost  his  head, I  love   it."

“Sorry, I’m not the one making   the rules, just the one sharing   them.”

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

dextxr​

"Are  you being  serious right  now?   I didn't apply to work at the police   station to not be able to see crime   scene pictures."

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

This literally can’t get any cuter. 

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

[text]: Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.

[text]: Ugh. I guess I love you too, I just wanted to see Jerry's face when it happened. It'd be worth it.

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

                               If you ever speak spanish to me,

                                                                    please use the formal "usted." 

8 years experience roleplaying, 4 on tumblr. 

up to s3 of P&R. 

Mun is of age (22). 

main. ask. 

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

"Heymomiwashelpingdadandwekindabrokeeverythinginthelivingroom." Summer said quickly, before heading back down the stairs. - summerxdwyer

"Wait, let me show you my surprised face." April paused, though she had a completely straight face save for the arched eyebrow. She just sighed, following her daughter to the living room. 

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

Send "✖" If you think that I'm playing my character properly.

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

Texts from Last Night inspired text starters [nsfw and sfw]

[text]: I’m doing this for my boobs. They miss him. [text]: I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS [text]: We’re bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway…ur missing out [text]: I’m sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve. [text]: two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room. [text]: I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass [text]: Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves. [text]: According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant. [text]: You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party [text]: I’m going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don’t text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish. [text]: What’s Spanish for “I shouldn’t have worn these underwear to work?” [text]: Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me. [text]: YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.

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[mrs-awesxme-blog]

…I was calm on the outside but thinking all the time.

A Clockwork Orange, Dir. Stanley Kubrick

[mrs-awesxme-blog]

okay but instead of coffee shop AUs

Modern royalty AUs

Accidentally read his/her diary AUs

Egyptologists AUs

Rockstar and groupie AUs

Book club AUs

Met at comic con AUs

Lifeguard AUs

1920s con artists AUs

Running from the police AUs

Librarian AUs

Rebels against the government AUs

Internet friends AUs

Time traveling AUs

Struggling artists AUs