mrsmelo

[mrsmelo]

[mrsmelo]

i feel like my need to be thin (aside from aesthetics lbr) is just a way to feel like less of a problem. if i’m thin, i won’t take up too much space. less noticeable. quiet, polite, approachable, likeable etc.

if i feel like i’ve upset someone, i stop eating, because i feel like im just in the way. wtf :[

[mrsmelo]

i gained weight. i want to kms. i either eat too much or too less at least its diet december so i can can back on track

[mrsmelo]

Weight goals (*-*)

height: 161 cm // 5'2

hw: 64 kg // 141lbs

sw: 64 kg // 141 lbs

cw: 54 kg // 119 lbs

gw1: 52 kg // 114 lbs

gw2 : 49 kg // 108 lbs

ugw: 45 kg // 99 lbs

[mrsmelo]

Also some updates

Got a new iphone on my bday (my dad bought it and i feel shitty about them buying me stuff)

Got addicted to genshin again (happens when im too stressed lol also im like 0.5% melt ganyu main)

I had lost 10 kg during the summer 64-54kg still i feel the same sometimes and i get really bad body dysmorphia after watching anime/tv shows that feature thin or petite characters (this might sound so dumb but its the shoujo girls that cause me to relapse)

I also live with my boyfriend now, its nice he makes me happy (even tho he's annoying sometimes lol)

Also im budgeting a lot more now, no more spending money on random things or takeout. (its related to feeling shitty about new phone + some other things)

I tried watercoloring. Should I post them here? Uhh thats about it for now, i should go study calc xx

[mrsmelo]

Haven't been here awhile (rant)

There was just way too many things happening, university classes are so hard thati have accepted that i will fail some before the midterms even begin. I genuinely don't know what to do. Should I not sleep/ take time for myself. Maybe I'm taking time for myself too much... Idk it feels like just a few hours that i can sit back and enjoy some alone time. Like on Mondays classes finish at 18, on Wednesdays and (sometimes) Thursdays too. There is a lot of traffic where I live. And by that I mean it takes 1-1.30 hours. So im home at 19-19:30 how am i supposed to be recharged? With homework and exams, I just feel like I can't have time for myself to get preparred for the next day. (+this causes me to stay up whole night so im also exhausted all the time) And there's an exam literally everyone week, sometimes even two. Aaah, i blame my scheduale for most of my problems. There's too much 9 am- 18 pm classes with like 3-4 hours of nothing in between. And on top of that I have chores and stuff. I need to cook for myself and clean. (i know maybe some of y'all are judging me but its too hard for me to study and do those things) I just need to bare this for 4 more weeks. Then its over. and so will i be.

[mrsmelo]

About me!

Im usually very shy and anxious about any type of interaction but for the first time im trying to overcome my fears of being acknowledged share something about myself on the internet. This is my first time properly using tumblr, im trying to understand how things work around here. Here we go:

Melo is my nickname for here. Im 21 y/o and use she/her pronouns

According to 16 personality bmti test my personality is INTP-T

I like: cooking, playing games, drawing, spending time on my computer, watching anime, biology, nature, being alone, cats, desserts, japanese culture

I dislike: people, crowded areas, loud noises, waking up early, coffee

Some of my favorite games are: The Sims 3, Yakuza, Persona, Baldurs Gate 3, Genshin Impact and Mount and Blade ( I really enjoy fantasy or mediaval themes)

Some of my favorite shows/animes are: Frieren, Saiki K, Harry Potter, Spy Family, Ghibli movies (im not good at remembering things and that includes things i have watched lol)

I like listening to: nujabes, kirinji, unchain, yeye, taeko onuki, miki matsubara, kaede, game ost, kagamine rin, hatsune miku, lamp, sakanaction and from western music - early 2000's pop, shakira, destinys child, britney, kendrick, kanye, metronomy, thunder cat, kglw

I am a scorpio sun, leo rising and taurus moon (yikes)

Eventhough my art is not that great im planning on posting them here. I should also add that im a bioengineering student. That's about it. cya

[mrsmelo]

It's my 6 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[mrsmelo]

Hello World

Its been many years since i've "used" tumblr. I never really used it because i always had some fear of being acknowledged. I only browsed and reposted some stuff time to time. But now i want to actually blog and stuff. Maybe it would help me de-stress. To anyone who sees this, my first language is not english so please dont come after me im doing my best.

[mrsmelo]

It's my 5 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[mrsmelo]

Even better than mama!

[mrsmelo]

The elements. I made this on my iPad in my grimoire. Feel free to print it or anything. <3