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I'll keep you my dirty ryan seacrest
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Bye
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when the cashier gives u back ur change and ur putting it away but u cant do it fast enough and suddenly theyre holding out ur shopping bag and u have no hands and the coins are dropping to the ground and the bag goes up in flames and the cashier is crying and ur crying and ur wallet is screaming and ur descending into hell
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its 3am
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friend: wyd
me: studying
friend: let’s gossip
me:
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tHIS FUCKING IDIOT
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when bae asks you what you’re doing tonight
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Aleks: Oh, no, we’re not together. We’re not a couple. We’re definitely not a couple.
James: Wow, you seem pretty insulted by that. What, I’m not good enough for you?
Aleks: We are not having this conversation again.
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