mrstanicansnyder

[mrstanicansnyder]

Find me an abortion clinic too if you’re going to divorce me! Not like I deserve a family anyways… Take Xeno with you while you’re at it, do you both a favor! I mean what the hell kind of life is this?! I’m married, pregnant, and apparently disposable all at once?!

Babe. My love. My life. My everything. My reason for smiling and breathing. Oh husband of mine. Did you take your prenatals today?

Explain how you did this? I want answers, now!

@stansnyderswife

[mrstanicansnyder]

Real tactical move, doll. You didn’t think the ball and chain was enough, huh? Nah you had to get creative. Knock me up, tie me down. You really don’t play fair.

Well… I guess as a good Christian boy, there’s a silver lining. At least my parents won’t be mad. We’re married first, so I’m not giving birth to some… illegitimate bastard child. Small mercies, huh? I’m your legally sanctioned, holy pregnant husband.

Babe. My love. My life. My everything. My reason for smiling and breathing. Oh husband of mine. Did you take your prenatals today?

Explain how you did this? I want answers, now!

@stansnyderswife

[mrstanicansnyder]

Babe. My love. My life. My everything. My reason for smiling and breathing. Oh husband of mine. Did you take your prenatals today?

Explain how you did this? I want answers, now!

@stansnyderswife

[mrstanicansnyder]

Don’t believe a goddamn word outta my wife’s mouth when she says she loves me. Lies. All of it. If you see me blinkin’ too much when I’m out with her it’s Morse code. SOS. Send help. The woman doesn’t care about me, she just gets her kicks outta fetishizin’ my southern heritage like I’m some backwoods exotic pet she found in a bucces clearance bin.

This marriage is compromised, compromised I tell you. When the papers are drawn up, I’m staking my claim on the garage. Non-negotiable. You can take the house, hell, you can take the damn photo of my father but the garage is mine and I’ll sure as hell park it wherever I want.

Honestly, at this point, I’m startin’ to think this whole marriage was entrapment. A long con. She tricked me with sweet nothings and batting eyelashes, reeled me in, and now I’m a prisoner of war in my own home. Stockholm Syndrome with a marriage license. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was pregnant.

Final words for the court record I never stood a chance against her sweet talkin’, cavity inducing bullshit. This is entrapment, plain and simple.

@stansnyderswife

[mrstanicansnyder]

The little things you say to me always put a smile on my face. You make me want to listen to love songs, you still give me butterflies, and you still make me speechless whether it’s when you clap back on my bullshit or when you say sweet nothings to me, only to double back on them because it was so sweet it gave us both cavities. You are the kind of person who would catch me when I fall and then drop me on something soft just so we could both laugh at my stupidity and clumsiness til we’re both in tears.

There are moments when we’re together where I wish I could make time stop. Going to sleep is often one of the scariest things in the world now ‘cause sometimes you’re not there with me and you’re far from me. Im never ready to say goodnight to you. While It is never goodbye and it’s see you later, it is terrifying sometimes with how unpredictable life can be. I often think to myself that I could easily stay in our waking moments forever. Whether we’re together in person or when we are on video calls together. Just being with you, sitting with you, hearing your laugh and seeing you smile… the smile that makes me feel at peace. That smile that makes your eyes wrinkle just a tad and brightens an entire room and makes my heart soar into the clouds. It makes me feel comforted and at home. Like being wrapped in a warm burrito blanket curled up by a fire with hot chocolate in our hands. Feeling you by my side physically or hearing your voice over a speaker is everything to me. Every moment I spend with you is the best moment of my life.

I’ve found my sanctuary in you. Your kindness and strength inspire me every day. I’ve discovered a love that’s deeper than what these words can ever express. This whole shit might as well be an entire dissertation at this point. You are my anchor and my greatest joy. You are, in a way, the most interesting person I have met in this world.

You’re the love I’ve found when after so long I didn’t believe it would be in the cards for me. I’m hoping that you’ll stay. I love you.

Heh. You know, you’ve got a hell of a way of stripping me down with words. I’ve been shot at, dragged through wars, seen more mess than I care to count but nothing disarms me faster than you. You sit there saying I make you smile, that I give you butterflies and all I can think is, you’ve been doing that to me from the second you walked into my damn life. You still give me that same jolt, every damn time. Like the crack of a rifle, clean and sharp, right through my chest. Doesn’t matter if you’re calling me out on my bullshit or leaning in sweet either way, you’ve got me. You always had me. And that smile you’re talkin’ about? Funny thing every time you say mine lights up a room, I’m thinking the same about yours. It’s the kind of smile a man can march through hell for, just to see it again. You don’t even realize how much you steady me. You call me your sanctuary, but sweetheart you’re mine. You’ve been the safe ground I didn’t think I’d ever get.

I’m not the kind of man who believes in fairy tales, or fate, or any of that soft crap people cling to when the world chews ‘em up. But then you came along. And suddenly I started to wonder if maybe I’d been wrong. Maybe there is something worth holding onto in this world that doesn’t rust, or rot, or betray you. And that’s you. Always you. You worry about goodnights? Truth is, I hate ‘em too. I’d rather keep you wrapped up next to me where I know you’re warm and safe, where I can hear your breathing, where I don’t have to wonder how far away you are. But you’re right it’s never goodbye. Just a pause ‘til the next time I get to hold you. And I’ll take every damn second of that.The bed’s too damn cold without you. You’re the one person I’d let see me weak. You’re the one who makes me drop the act, the shield, the soldier bullshit I hide behind. With you, I don’t have to be the tough bastard everyone expects me to be. With you, I can just be… me. And you don’t run from it. You don’t flinch. You love me anyway. That’s a kind of power I don’t think you even realize you’ve got.You’re right about life being unpredictable. I’ve lived most of mine not expecting to see the next sunrise. But when I think of you of us it’s the first time I actually want the days to keep coming. I want all of them, as long as they’ve got you in ‘em. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, and I sure as hell ain’t gonna question it too much, ‘cause I’d be a fool to waste the time I’ve got with you. You call this love something you didn’t think was in the cards? Then maybe it’s about time we both admit we beat the odds.So yeah, sweetheart I’ll catch you when you fall. I’ll laugh with you, I’ll fight for you, I’ll stand by you ‘til my last breath. You’re my wife, my rock, my partner in every damn sense of the word. And I love you so much it scares me sometimes but I wouldn’t trade that fear for anything. So hear me clear, love there ain’t a day I don’t choose you. Ain’t a day I don’t thank whatever twisted fate dropped you in my path. You’re my greatest joy, my stubborn, sharp tongued, sweet hearted partner. My wife. My everything. You’ve got me. All of me. Always.

@stansnyderswife

[mrstanicansnyder]

Low-key scares me that someone as attractive as you chose to be a soldier but also pop off and live you're best life

Explain.

[mrstanicansnyder]

*insert a whole ass sunflower field here since apparently I can’t add a sunflower field images unless it’s not anon* take this sunflower field ‘cause reasons 🖤

Funny thing is, I’ve seen plenty of sun flower fields from above, from the ground, even through a scope… but I can’t say I’ve ever seen a whole ass of a sunflower field before.

[mrstanicansnyder]

What would you do if Xeno died?

I’ve run through my own death in my head more times than I can count. Every deployment, every time the air smelled like gun smoke and blood, I saw it plain as day…me catching the bullet, me taking the fall, and him left behind to carry on. That was the nightmare I carried into every mission. Not once did I imagine it flipped. Not once did I imagine him gone and me left standing in the wreckage.

Christ, that’s the kind of nightmare I don’t even let myself think about. But if you’re asking, then here’s the truth...

I wouldn’t want to breathe. Wouldn’t want to open my eyes in the morning. The world would turn into a coffin, and every second after him would feel like suffocating in dirt. My hands would itch for the gun. The thought of pulling the trigger,it wouldn’t scare me. It would feel like a release.

But then there’s Ki. My wife. The one who never asked for this mess of a man, but still calls me hers. And for her…for her, I wouldn’t take that step. I’d stay alive, dragging my carcass through every miserable day, because I couldn’t do that to her. Not after everything she’s already had to put up with, not after she gave me reasons to believe in something soft when I was nothing but steel and smoke.

Still, she’d know. She’d see it in my eyes, in the way I carried myself. Even if I kept breathing, she’d understand that Stanley Snyder was already buried right alongside Xeno. That the man she married would just be walking around in a corpse’s shell.

So yeah, I’d keep living for my wife.I’d keep the gun on the table, always loaded, never fired. She’d know it was there. She’d know that if not for her, I’d already be gone.

And maybe, maybe she’d understand that even though I stayed alive…inside, I’d already followed him.

…I’m going to go visit the lab now.

[mrstanicansnyder]

Which penetration power do you have?

Xenon-133. Drop the N-133. Final answer.

[mrstanicansnyder]

Wow… Xeno…that’s one hell of a TED Talk no one asked for. You could’ve just said “none of your damn business” and called it a day. But you really broke out the chalkboard for that one, huh? Going full dissertation on backdoor mechanics.

Have you visited Stanley’s puckered asshole?

This is quite the most vulgar and inelegant question to be asking of a man such as myself. I am not one to divulge of my personal… whereabouts. I will placate you in this regard though: One’s asshole does not simply pucker. It needs careful and patient preparation before the anal canal begins to be ready to “pucker” for proper insertion. I shall not delve into further details. I urge you to use Dr. Google or visit one of those… intimacy shops to learn more.

Alternatively you are more than welcome to ask Stanley. He is more… dare I say, open.

@mrstanicansnyder

[mrstanicansnyder]

Aww, would you look at that? Two of ’em in the same place! Lucky me, huh?

your exons wife right..? I have a little something for you old man アメリカをそんなに愛しているなら、なぜ最もあなたを助けてくれた国を狙っているのか教えてください。それにスタンリー、あなたの主人は頭がでかいです and that’s a question for you to decide also if you shoot me again I’m not only gonna take down a Nother plan I am gonna get rid of your empire that exno workd so hard to build .. .-.. / …. .- …- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.- -. --- .-- / - …. .- - / . -..- -. --- / .. … / -… . .. -. --. / .- / --. .-. . .- - / …. --- … - .- --. . / . …- . -. / …. . .-.. .--. .. -. --. / --- ..- - / -- -.-- / . -- .--. .. .-. . / .- …. .- …. / -- .- -.- . … / -- . / .-- --- -. -.. . .-. / …. --- .-- / … - ..- .--. .. -.. / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / -.- .. .-.. .-.. .. -. --. / -.-- --- ..- .-. … . .-.. ..-. / .-- .. - …. / -.-. .. --. .- .-. . - - . …

If it’s to hard for you to read then a guess your a baby with no sense of taste like seriously purple lipstick red probably suits you more or pink man

Hey, Xeno. Just to confirm it’s still not PC to use the ‘R’ word, right?

Yeah, figured. Shame, ‘cause I’ve got one of those sittin’ in my ask box right now. Guess I better use another word..maybe swap it for something like ‘evolutionary backorder.’

@drxenohwingfield

[mrstanicansnyder]

your exons wife right..? I have a little something for you old man アメリカをそんなに愛しているなら、なぜ最もあなたを助けてくれた国を狙っているのか教えてください。それにスタンリー、あなたの主人は頭がでかいです and that’s a question for you to decide also if you shoot me again I’m not only gonna take down a Nother plan I am gonna get rid of your empire that exno workd so hard to build .. .-.. / …. .- …- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.- -. --- .-- / - …. .- - / . -..- -. --- / .. … / -… . .. -. --. / .- / --. .-. . .- - / …. --- … - .- --. . / . …- . -. / …. . .-.. .--. .. -. --. / --- ..- - / -- -.-- / . -- .--. .. .-. . / .- …. .- …. / -- .- -.- . … / -- . / .-- --- -. -.. . .-. / …. --- .-- / … - ..- .--. .. -.. / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / -.- .. .-.. .-.. .. -. --. / -.-- --- ..- .-. … . .-.. ..-. / .-- .. - …. / -.-. .. --. .- .-. . - - . …

If it’s to hard for you to read then a guess your a baby with no sense of taste like seriously purple lipstick red probably suits you more or pink man

Hey, Xeno. Just to confirm it’s still not PC to use the ‘R’ word, right?

Yeah, figured. Shame, ‘cause I’ve got one of those sittin’ in my ask box right now. Guess I better use another word..maybe swap it for something like ‘evolutionary backorder.’

@drxenohwingfield

[mrstanicansnyder]

Oh, here we go spittin’ fire like a true California libtard. I pegged you for one the second you rolled up with that battery powered baby pacifier, acting like you just enlisted in the smoker’s club. Let’s get one thing straight the only nuts I’ve ever seen you put in your mouth are beaver nuts from Buc-ee’s. Don’t start pretending you could fit my jewels in there unless you’re lookin’ to blow out that jaw again. I’m not footing the VA for another chiropractor, and I’m sure as hell not having the department show up thinking my massive sack set off a domestic violence call.

And those little vape smoking lips? Yeah, they’ve got all the grip of a wet paper straw. Stick to your raspberry sunsets, sweetheart you’re not built for the Marlboro league. Hell, you’d gag on the filter before you got your first drag in. Face it you’re all hat, no cattle…

Marlboro Red or Gold King?

Reds. Always Reds.
If you’re gonna do it, do it right. Golds? That’s for people who like to pretend they’re cutting back.
But hell, I’d take either over those damn vapes. Those things? Just a bunch of spoiled kiddos puffing on candy smoke, trying to act tough. No bite, no balls.And hey, if my wife’s reading this yeah, I’m kidding… mostly. Don’t worry, I’ll always have a chewed on, soggy smoke left for you.

[mrstanicansnyder]

Marlboro Red or Gold King?

Reds. Always Reds.
If you’re gonna do it, do it right. Golds? That’s for people who like to pretend they’re cutting back.
But hell, I’d take either over those damn vapes. Those things? Just a bunch of spoiled kiddos puffing on candy smoke, trying to act tough. No bite, no balls.And hey, if my wife’s reading this yeah, I’m kidding… mostly. Don’t worry, I’ll always have a chewed on, soggy smoke left for you.

[mrstanicansnyder]


Heh. You really wanna test your luck, huh? Sayin’ I’m pokin' the bear and then temping me to make it worse? Bold move, sweetheart.

Alright, noted. But no dragging my old man into this. Fine by me. But if it's on when I see you? Better make peace with the floor, because I don't need a rifle to make you beg for mercy. A few bite marks? Cute. Adds to the thrill. Just remember I don’t back down, and I don’t go easy.

So go ahead. Overreact. I’ll be right here, waiting to pin you down and shut that smart mouth with something a little more... tactical.

I’ll give you a thirty second head start….

Hey btw I’m actually in love with you 🖤 you’re pretty cool I guess 😚

Sorry, I’m married.

[mrstanicansnyder]

Lobotomy lite, huh? Sounds fancy. You sure you don’t want the full deluxe package? Or maybe I should just save us both the trouble and shoot you instead? Quicker, less messy. But hey, if you wanna keep that charming little brain of yours intact for more of your bull shit, I guess I’ll hold off... for now.

How’s the puckering asshole going?

Oh, you know another day, another reason to stay suspicious. My asshole stays puckered tighter than most soldiers can stand at attention. But hey, thanks for the concern. I’ll be sure to let it know you stopped by.

[mrstanicansnyder]

How’s the puckering asshole going?

Oh, you know another day, another reason to stay suspicious. My asshole stays puckered tighter than most soldiers can stand at attention. But hey, thanks for the concern. I’ll be sure to let it know you stopped by.