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if ur gonna be pressed into service by your liege lord, u want to be the swiftest rider. get good at horses, because they're always sending the swiftest rider off to do some other shit that is, crucially, away from the battlefield. I'm telling u. when ur forces are outnumbered and the enemy legions show up with some unexpected advantage, someone in command is gonna say, "send the swiftest rider to alert the queen!!!" that's u. u want to be that guy

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I can’t believe I just found out that Tolkien did a Gollum impression and narrated the entire riddle scene! How could I not have known about this?! You can listen to the whole recording here starting at the 30 minute mark. I wish he had narrated the whole book from start to finish! I would give anything to listen to that! 

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stay sanguine, my fellow bluebird

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Day 20 of drawing susie every day until the chapters release. Suzy edition!

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Rouxls Kaard is trans. You agree? Reblog.

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species swap krusie doodle

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offf coursee she did it.

Something that STILL infuriates me to this day is how while most youtubers when playing undertale get spoiled and decide to do pacifist first, there was ONE youtuber i watched who played undertale really interestingly (this specific playthrough was also the first i watched)

She killed both Toriel and Undyne, resulting in the King Mettaton ending. Which was so interesting! Its really one of the more horrible outcomes from the neutral endings so when Flowey comes back and tells you to do pacifist, it makes for a more satisfying run!

And then she never fucking finished the game. She stopped playing on the neutral ending.

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more undertale rewound

that uhh thats it

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Hey! You scared him! Say sorry!

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chapter 4:a new hope

Happy 19th birthday to THE videogame EVER‼️

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suddently,the memories are flooding bavk

I’m already following you but WOE LANCER OCS TO DOODLE BE UPON YEE

Lance has prolly already told you about this one but here’s my son Needle! His body is essentially just purple patchwork lancer if you’re wondering

Then you have YF Lancer from my fic :333 she is my princess my muse and she loves summer so I thought I should include her too

you know i had to choose female one

the urge™

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Personally I think Undertale the Musical was mostly pretty good with a few songs that didn’t quite hit me as hard lyric-wise (I just think it was a little clunky in some areas), but Undertale and Floweytale still make me tear up to this day.

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the hastags feel like somthing grunkle stan would say ngl

new jenny nicholson vid got me wanting to book a cruise

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I gave up on everything

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The Silence of Cyber City

[After mercilessly killing everyone in Cyber City, Spamton wrestles with the guilt around his own role in the genocide.]

(TW: Implied Suicide at the end)

“Kris…I made you proud, didn’t I?” 

Spamton stared at the ground. The red carpet seemed almost gray to him. The vibrant colors of the Pandora Palace were muted to him. The neon lights and signs outside weren’t as bright as they normally were even though they were the same as they’ve always been. 

And to think that all of this was for his keys, right?

“Yes.”

The blue lightner didn’t look at him. Instead, they gazed into the distance. Despite everything the two of them had been through in the search for his keys, they never were one for much talking. The few times they did speak unnerved Spamton in a way he hadn’t felt since that mysterious voice first called on the phone all those years ago. This time was no exception. 

“Didn’t I?”

Spamton couldn’t help but ask again. He had planned to manipulate the lightner from the start. Despite his intentions, he never meant for everything to turn violent. Was it possible to avoid violence at all with this lightner? Was he always destined for this path? As if he couldn’t fall lower in life? 

If he had known from the start that the search for his keys would become genocidal, would he still have agreed to follow Kris?

“Yes.” 

Kris’s answer should’ve taken at least a little bit of the weight off of his shoulders, and he wished it did. Yet, as he closed his eyes, he remembered the tiny seed of twisted excitement that had begun to grow inside him. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, it was the first time in a long time that he felt he had some semblance of control over his life. Focusing on finding his keys by any means necessary meant he didn’t have to think about the truth he had learned from the phone, and for a brief amount of time, he felt at peace. He didn’t want to lose that peace again. Kris was proud of him and that should be enough.

“Didn’t I?

And Blue. Oh Blue. After all these years, Blue still cared about him and had sought him out to bring him to safety. Why didn’t he care sooner? Blue deserved his fate for waiting too long. But, as Spamton watched his own heart tear apart his old friend, he couldn’t help but feel remorse that only grew stronger and more painful after each passing minute since. Blue found him and he killed him. Blue cared about him and he killed him. Blue loved him and he killed him.

He killed him.

He should’ve killed Kris instead. Maybe then and only then, he would’ve had his second chance and lead the life he could’ve had before his goddamn arrogance and ego took over.

“No.”

Maybe this was the truth. Maybe this was the truth that Spamton wanted to hear. Either way, that one word granted him permission to leave Kris. 

Well, it was too late now. 

A red hot anger burned deep inside him. Before he could think twice, he grabbed his green puppet strings around him and wrapped them around Kris’s neck. He pulled and pulled as the lightner struggled for air. As quickly as that anger had boiled over, it faded away only to be replaced by an icy blue fear. Kris laughed weakly.

They had him right where they wanted him.

The vivid image dissipated and Spamton was standing next to Kris, who had yet to look at him. He unclenched his fists but no strings fell to the floor. In this moment, he didn’t feel anger or fear, only exhaustion.

“Guess you really can’t please everybody,” he choked out.

Spamton limped out of the room, refusing to look back at Kris despite the temptation to do so. As he stumbled through the empty halls, old memories of his glory days taunted him. His evenings in the Color Cafe flirting with Swatch, his nights chatting it up with Queen and the other esteemed guests and boasting of his deals, his days calling that evil phone that gave him everything he could’ve ever wanted and more. Now it was all gone and worse.

He stopped dead in his tracks. What was he going to do now? Crawl into the dumpster he called home as if he had no part to play in creating this hell? How could he go home after all of this? 

Illuminated by the haunting lights of Cyber City outside the grand windows, he dragged his beaten and bruised body down towards the basement. Years ago, when the voice on the phone disappeared abruptly and he started to lose the success he had garnered, he would visit this basement where the defunct robot rested and pray to it. It was a lightner’s dream, what could be more powerful than that?

Sure enough, the robot was exactly where he had left it. He ran towards it, tripping and stumbling in the process, the pain still just as fresh as before. Spamton threw himself before the sacred being. He hadn’t felt this alone in so many years.

Spamton prayed. But nobody answered.

And Spamton begged. But nobody answered.

And Spamton wept. But nobody answered.

.

.

.

It was silent in Cyber City. For a long time, everything was silent. Too silent. Except for a single splash from deep within the Pandora Palace.

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what happened?

fyi no more salt route

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I feel like this perfectly captivates the essence of the average spamton fan

spamton is a funny horrible little bastard that exudes pure slime and sleaze. if spamton had a canon voice it would be some utterly hellish choppily bitcrushed hackjob combination of rocket raccoon, king candy, the clown from the animaniacs episode “clown and out”, bill cipher, and that horrible little demon rumplestiltskin from shrek 4, intercut with random clips of big shot autos and youtube poops. spamton has stolen someone’s gender twice and the half his personality that isnt pure concentrated essence of scumbag is obsession with becoming a pink mecha with built-in makeup because he saw mettaton once and got gender envy. the only emotions he still has the capacity to feel are hatred, hatred 2, hatred-misery flavor, and several forms of rage available only to birds and chihuahuas. spamton has rabies and every disease including several bird ones at once and is only alive because they’re all too busy fighting eachother. spamton is on a heartstopping amount of crack at all times. spamton has liead so much his nose is longer than his legs (to suck up crack more efficiently) and and spamton impales people with it. spamton looks like the guy from saw mated with a trollface. spamton is catholic but the g stands for god is dead. spamton would take candy from a baby. spamton would take a baby. spamton would get into black market organ sales. spamton spends his entire time onscreen remorselessly manipulating teenagers to get them to let him try to murder them or selling them sadistic torure-rings to get them to commit genocide and calling a teenage girl a hoochi mama multiple times. spamton is literally just flowey/chara without the power to act on the isolation-induced genocidal childmurder hate. spamton is a spam email gjinka. spamton looks like every single homestuck character at once. spamton says fuck. i guarantee “little sponge” is just toby didn’t think he could get away with calling kris a little shit. spamton is not smiling, it’s more like “i’m showing you the things i’m going to use to rip out your fucking jugular if you don’t give me your kromer right now bitch i’ll kill you I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU”. spamton is old man mcgucket if he used to be a used car salesman and when opening the back door of any establishment one must be careful to shoo away the wild spamton and it’s miniature clones with a broom lest it drop to all fours and hiss at you like a raccoon. spamton is the deltarune universe’s cut-me-own-throat dibbler. if the deltarune timeline of internet development was anything like the real world spamton is pushing 50. spamton sold cars but never had a driver’s license. spamton is either dark mettaton or mettaton 10 years from now after his mtt-tv brand falls apart. spamton’s parents are the guy in the kirby anime and ea-nasir. spamton has a typing quirk. spamton looks and sounds like the vengeful ghost of a woodpecker that drowned in a hair gel factory accident. there is a disturbingly large chance that spamton mpreg is canon. spamton would sell cryptocurrency

did i mention half of his attacks are throwing his implied mpreg spawn at you