msjoyful23-blog

[msjoyful23-blog]

Black in Corporate America

I never imagined during my collegiate days that I would still struggle with being African American working for Fortune 500 and global companies. It's a thought that never crossed my mind as I sat in my business classes with professors who walked the walk before me. They would lecture on working harder than everyone else, on making friends with the folks in the mailroom, and learning how to play the "corporate game". All of these things went over my naive head in the early 90s. I suspect it's because I went to private school from first to twelfth grade and I never experienced being treated unfairly by my teachers or any classmates for that matter. I was smart and never felt any type of way. I knew it existed with some of my other classmates being called a nigger and the like but it didn't affect me the way it does now. I guess you can say I wasn't "woke" in my teens the way some of these young people are in today's racial climate. I was more concerned with watching "The Box", watching Soap Operas, and hanging with my friends. I wasn't versed on the Regan and republican politics nor did I care. As a college student, my focus was on graduating not on Bill Clinton's crime bill. I voted for him and even helped with his campaign but that's where my interest ended. Eighteen years in Corporate America. Almost two decades of being a professional and productive member of society. I have a Masters degree in Business with a concentration in Accounting. I'm the real deal...I'm a woman...a Black woman...with a MBA...and a tax accountant! I'm dangerous and so I've learned over these past eighteen years I'm not wanted. As I've matured over the years I've learned to ignore that part, but all of the other stressors shine the light on the fact that we African Americans deal with some very heavy obstacles that few seem to be able to manage. I've seen it over and over countless times of disparities in the workplace that plague us from city to city and company to company. It doesn't matter how great a company's diversity programs are there will always be an employee or two or a hundred who don't buy into the company's million dollar program on inclusion and diversity. And somehow I often end up reporting directly to the aforementioned employee and I'm not sure how I survived this long. My Dad in all his infinite wisdom told me very early in life to become an entrepreneur. He had the right ideas but no advice how to execute and after seeing his business fail, I decided working for someone else was safer. I wish I had listened to him or asked more questions. I always rolled my eyes and blew him off because let's face it African Americans don't have access to capital and resources to start businesses. We don't even support our own community entrepreneurs and I wasn't going to be any different. So like those books I used to read when I was a kid where you had a choice of an ending by choosing a certain page, I chose Corporate America and turned to page 97. My mother often says that I'm the most resourceful person she knows and that I can find out anything. I wish I had drawn from her faith in me and started my own business. But no I chose page 97 so here I am. The lure of Corporate America is of course the money, status, benefits, and holidays off. Unless you went to FAMU's School of Business and Industry (shameless plug) no one tells you of the unspoken stress that affects those of us bamboozled, lead astray, and run amuck by a form of modern day slavery. As a Black woman I have to constantly combat stereotypes of the "angry black woman". I constantly wonder if getting upset in front of my coworkers adds fuel to the ridiculous notion that Black women cannot be angry. As if we are expected to always wear a smile and deal with every level of BS that comes our way without any form of emotion. It's ridiculous and also preposterous to think a human being cannot show emotion. You are allowed to feel and have emotions. You should be able to express yourself without someone labeling you as "angry" as if that's the only emotion we carry. How about frustrated or annoyed, which doesn't always equate to "angry". Please don't be lazy and label black women as angry because you don't want to do the work to have a conversation about what the issue may be. I equate this to slavery because we are being told without being told how to feel and how to react to being mistreated on sometimes a daily basis. Most women of color that I know have had that instance in the workplace where someone who is not a person of color told them to smile, not shake their head or roll their eyes as if we are property and they can still dictate what we can and cannot do with our own bodies. To demand a person of color to smile or not shake their head or roll their eyes is rude and racist. In addition to constantly wondering about my "perception" (also a racially motivated term in Corporate America), I am constantly conscious of my tone and sound of my voice. Can you image if everyday you have to think about not only what you say and how you say it but the sound of your voice too? That stress alone is enough for anyone to flip over their desks and walk out with the peace sign high in the air with any song by Kendrick Lamar playing as theme music. Ok maybe this is my recurring dream and everyone doesn't feel this way but I know at some point you have had to navigate through this maze of BS dealing with your tone and sound of your voice. After you have managed to identify this obstacle, your next obstacle is to learn to play this ridiculous middle school game of office politics. This is where I fail miserably because I'm grown and believe in being honest and upfront with people. I don't believe in throwing rocks and hiding my hand, throwing my coworkers under the bus, or being mediocre on a daily basis. I've never mastered this game and I flat out chose to sit on the bench while they sell their momma's out for a few coins. It's never been worth it to me to become a phony and unprofessional person. I happen to believe in the character of a person and being honest and trustworthy but I guess those are just buzz words nowadays that get kicked around like an empty soda can. Trust. It's such a heavy and important word. In Corporate America you are expected to trust those above you in a blind way like you trust God. I'm sorry but for me when someone shows you they mean you no good, trust is not an option. But the stressful part is you have to work with this person regardless of how you feel about them. Most people say they can work with anyone regardless of how you feel about them, however I believe you don't do your best work when you are literally working side-by-side with Satan himself. I've found myself leaving the office completely drained of any energy. Their negative and toxic selves suck all the energy from your body that you literally go home and sink into the couch in a semi-comatose state. It's unfair to work in a hostile environment where your boss curses, calls you out of your name in front of others, and yells at you and has not one professional bone in their body. So the nitpicking obstacle is enough to send your eyes into involuntary rolling. It's harassment in no uncertain terms. It's the kind of harassment that has you questioning why you even work there when at the same time you are more competent than most and have tons of education and initiative that you are often the one overworked because you do the most. You take on project after project because you are driven by nature not realizing it allows some to get comfortable in their mediocrity. They don't have to do any extra work because they know you will. Yet, the powers that be nitpick you to death and it's almost always not about your work product. 9.8 times out of ten it's about the "perception" that was conjured up just in case they need some justification to screw you out of a raise, promotion, or even your current position. Even if you are promoted they will stifle your growth and limit or eliminate your authority. You were a calculated promotion because they can say in their review that they embrace diversity all while making your life a living hell and increasing their bonus. I have no advice for those in similar situations except pray because that's all I've been able to do. Pray that God gives you peace to endure through these storms that seem to never end and pray that God fights your battles because if you try you will most definitely fail. The system is not designed for people of color. It is a winding and rocky road we travel for success that only we can measure. No one can measure your success for you. All you can do is your absolute best with whatever position you happen to hold. Well I do have two pieces of advice and that's by all means don't go to Human Resources. They are not your friend and they don't care what happens to you. They work for the company and their vested interest is to the company. Your issues with your supervisor or manager are just a means to weed you out and hire someone else who doesn't "complain" or "cause trouble". It's a shame that a person who is being discriminated and harassed by a fellow employee has no resources with their employer...or maybe it's just us...just people of color that have to abide by this unspoken rule. Hire a lawyer if it's that bad. My second piece of advice is to journal your experiences every single time. The best method is to email your personal email account from your work email. It is date and time stamped so it gives much more credibility than a handwritten journal. This is something I failed to do time and time again. From one company to the next I never documented my treatment and thus never had an advantage whenever I was disenfranchised. This documentation can also be used if the treatment is so bad you have to seek legal action. Maybe it's just me and I'm alone in this world of trying to navigate Corporate America while maintaining some form of sanity and purity of self although I know I'm not. I've seen my friends post their woes on social media detailing accounts of harassment and mistreatment by coworkers or managers above them. I've talked with folks who have cried on numerous occasions because folks are out here playing games at work when they clearly don't have enough work to do meanwhile we are all stressed out seeking professional therapy. It's incredibly discouraging because I'm a mentor at heart and I want to tell these young professionals to run far away from this toxic and demeaning environment designed for us to fail. I'm sure there are anomalies out there that truly believe in treating others with respect and dignity and who believe that diversity and inclusion are better for society as a whole. But until then, start your own businesses and build the community by creating jobs for our own. Don't pick page 97 if you don't have to because of fear or comfort. Be better than me and find a way to be your own boss. There is something to be said of being free completely. This is the answer that I ignored in my youth. It may not be too late for me but it's definitely not too late for the younger generation and I implore you to explore your options. African Americans, if I don't know anything else, are the most creative people on this planet. You can do this! Start teaching your children about starting businesses because that is the key to building wealth without of course stealing it but that's a blog for another day. Stay Blessed.

[msjoyful23-blog]

Mother Africa: Cape Town

Day 1. South Africa was everything I thought it would be and more. My dream vacation consisted of reflection, introspection, admiration, sadness, excitement, and love all rolled into one week. My journey started in Johannesburg and although my allergies were fighting me every minute of every day since the plane landed I couldn't be happier to be in the Motherland. Seas of blackness everywhere. Not unlike the seas of blackness you see in the inner cities but pure and culturally sound to all that is South Africa. Johannesburg was only a pit stop on my way to my true destination: Cape Town. I have been literally obsessed with Cape Town after watching Blacks Without Borders (search in YouTube). This documentary highlights African-Americans who left America and found prosperity in South Africa. Most of them highly successful in America felt it extremely important to live in South Africa for the remainder of life. It's truly eye-opening and an amazing view into life as an American in South Africa. My goal for my trip was complete relaxation, lots and lots of fun, and possibly meet a rich Prince to move me to Cape Town away from Donald Trump and all the crazy! I know it's a fairy tale so I'll at least settle for a sponsor for citizenship 🤷🏾‍♀️. Cape Town provided all of the amenities one needs to fall in love with it. From the V&A Waterfront with its breathtaking scenery, local market shopping, Wineries, Safaris, beaches, museums, driving on the "wrong" side of the road, and last but not least the people. Cape Town boasts of its beauty and it's absolutely true. The mountains surround the city on one side and 2 oceans surround the other. What more can a tourist ask for? Day 2. Our hotel sits right near the V&A Waterfront with only a 10 minute walk to the fun. We were met by the most pleasant Front Desk attendant who was so happy to see us. You can absolutely say that she was just doing her job but how many times have you gone to a hotel or any place with customer service and the worker acts like you put a gun to their head and made them come to work? No. This woman was completely genuine and I absolutely loved hearing her accent and her favorite phrase "Oh my word!". Kholiswa made our stay that much more enjoyable. We didn't know what quite to expect when we got to our hotel. In Johannesburg our hotel was not as bad as the apartment on Coming to America BUT when the shower is RIGHT NEXT to the bed the whole hotel gets the side eye (except my giant ham and grilled cheese sandwich with fries and a salad with a chocolate shake for the low low price of $7 USD). Well to our surprise, The Protea North Wharf was EVERYTHING. It was literally a one bedroom apartment fully equipped with a full kitchen, washer and dryer, living room, dining room, and separate bedroom and bathroom. Now THIS is vacationing at its best. Those of you used to staying at The Ritz Carlton don't judge the rest of us for being excited about nice accommodations. Don't judge me. Any preconceived notions I had about Africa and hotels has been completely changed. Each day is jam packed with fun and exploration of all that Cape Town has to offer. Day two was spent lazily walking the massive V&A Waterfront with its many stores and restaurants for those who like to shop and eat. If listening to local music is your appetite you will find plenty of locals playing their hearts out as onlookers sway to the rhythm. If you want a light day just to walk around, eat, and people watch then V&A Waterfront is the place for you. There are also boat cruises with tours too! Day 3. Well our jet lag or being old caught up with us so we had a late start. The plan was to do the hop on and off bus tours but when you try and start at 2:00 it's not worth the price. Instead we headed straight for Green Market Square which was full of locals and sits in the middle of downtown (I guess). Green Market Square houses all of the street vendors selling wood art, African clothes and jewelry, as well as paintings. So many to choose from it can be overwhelming but for me it was like a family reunion. I was everyone's sister and they wanted me to buy. As much as I was amused and tickled by the local vendors I just didn't want to buy everything. It's a haggle situation so never pay what they ask. I bought a few pieces and even have a lady making me a dress because I HAD to have it and they way my fat is set up... Anyway, it's also a great place to people watch but the only drawback is the number of beggars approaching you. We have them in all societies, but I'm selfish and on vacation. Don't judge me. There is also a Woolworth's downtown which was totally interesting because I remember Woolworth from downtown Chicago as a young child. Well it wasn't a throwback but the real thing and even included a grocery section. Go figure. Another lazy and relaxing day in the books. We decided to cook our own dinner tonight because we could! That chocolate moose cake...let's just say I was on my fat girl. Again. Don't judge me. I'm on vacation. Day 4. Ahhhhh what we really came for...The Safari!!!! Aquila Private Game Reserve did not disappoint!!!! We were able to book this full day excursion with our bubbly front desk clerk. Kholiswa took care of everything except the bill of course. The Safari is a 2-hour drive from the hotel and transportation was included to and from the Safari. We were told to be ready at 6:40 am. Whew! That's early but our driver was on time! The two-hour scenic route included mountain after mountain and in between that there was vineyard after vineyard. They even sell grapes on the side of the road but I think they are stolen grapes from the various vineyards. Hey the struggle is real and hustle man is everywhere. The tour included a stop for coffee, breakfast and lunch at the reserve, and a pit stop on the way back (which we declined). We arrive in time to pay and have breakfast then off to the animals!!! Our tour guide, Kensington, had a bright smile and knew all about every animal including life span and gestation periods. He was so excited and genuine about his job which made the tour that much more enjoyable. The truck was an open style truck with no windows so we didn't quite know what to expect. The first wild animals we see are hippos and then zebras and rhinos 🦏. Zebras were in abundance and there were also a good number of rhinos as well. We next moved on to the ostrich, a wilderbeast, and some type of antelope. I don't remember the name and they weren't that interesting anyway. Next was the African elephant. Two of them to be exact! They were high up on the mountain so the park ranger left some supplements to coax them down and down they came! They were EXTREMELY close to our truck that I thought they were going to charge us! They did get closer to another tour truck and one stuck his trunk inside! I would have died!!! Hell I almost died from seeing it! Kensington was unbothered because he did not move as they were coming closer and closer! I called on Jesus a few times. He is a friend indeed! I digress. Next was the lions!!!!!!! Yasssssss the big furry cats! Simba and Mufasa's cousins! The lions were housed in a separate gated area because they were rescued from people who kill for sport (aka Donald Trump Jr) and placed in the reserve. They didn't learn to hunt so they are separated from the rest of the animals. We saw two male lions and a few female lions and cubs. These lions were on chill mode because they were not moved by our presence. It was hot and we were blocking their shade! They were so glad for us to move along and so we did. Our last stop was Geoffrey the giraffe and friends! They were so cute! According to our expert Kensington, the giraffe adapts to his environment. The giraffes we saw were not very tall because the shrubbery and trees are not tall. If the giraffes were taller they wouldn't be able to bend down to eat. So they grow according to their environment. If they were moved to areas with taller trees, Kensington said they would grow taller! Interesting fact I never knew about giraffes. Kensington also had sparkling wine and grape juice during our giraffe stop which was right up my alley! Our liquor pit stop is where we started talking to other guests who were mostly American. Seated right behind us were Stacey and Ann who looked to be late 20s or early 30s. Stacey is Indian American who lives in Atlanta and Ann is also Indian American who lives in New York. We all quickly bonded over our buffet lunch and our readiness to get back to the city for a nice shower! The sun was hot and I had reached my limit of outside. Y'all know I don't do outside or bugs. While waiting for that clock to strike 4:00, I spot one of the drivers who turns out to be Stacey and Ann's van driver. Y'all I think I found my sponsor. So me never meeting a stranger strikes up a conversation with Zaid because yes he is cauuuuute. Zaid looked all Dominican with a dash of Middle Eastern but was ALL South African. I asked was he married with kids. No. Yes!!!! I asked "Do you want a wife and kids? I need a sponsor for citizenship." lol Needless to say I got his card so we can talk more later. Zaid is now Bae and I'm about to be out this piece!!!💋😘😆 Tired from a long day in the hot sun and a two hour drive each way to the Safari, my body was in need of some TLC. The neighboring hotel advertised a 60 minute massage with a 30 minute reflexology treatment for 640 Rand and my pockets were all over that. See that's $40 US dollars and we all know in the US that would easily be $80 or more. Needless to say my massage was everything and that was the perfect ending to the perfect day. Day 5. The next day brings the perfect weather full of sunshine and warm breezes. We decide to tackle this day early because there is still so much to see in Cape Town. Our adventures lead us to the hop on hop off bus tours. We figured we could cover more ground this way. We start with the breathtaking views of Table Mountain. To our surprise the bus drives right up to the top and the views are simply amazing. The real attraction is the cable car to the peak of the mountain but the way my fear is set up I chickened out. Sorry. But you still get the appreciation of the views from the bus stop. Trust me. If you are afraid of heights you will still get a great experience if the cable car ride is skipped. I'll muster up some courage for my next visit. We hop back on the bus and head to Camps Bay Beach and OH. MY. GOD. I've never seen a beach more beautiful and peaceful!!!! The condos that overlook the water made me want to run and buy hundreds of lotto tickets because I just have to live here! It was still early and I was dying for some seafood but I settled for some delicious gelato (ice cream for us regular folks). We hopped back on the bus and I really wanted to do the South African Museum because I wanted to learn some history. This was a bust. It was a science museum about animals. Not my thing. I wish I had known before I spent my money. Back on the bus we go. Our love for shopping leads us right back to Green Market Square for more gifts and cute African attire. We were also curious about their hair bundles so we found a few hair shops to ask about pricing and quality. Weave is worldwide and I wanted to see how the hair game works in Africa. Our bus also took us past the Government buildings and to District Six. The interesting thing about District Six is it was the only neighborhood during apartheid where folks lived in "relative harmony". But like all racist regimes, they moved everyone out of the area and tore down the buildings because they believed Blacks and Whites were not supposed to live amongst each other. There are a number of empty lots now because of this and the area is slowly trying to rebuild. The other interesting thing is that apartheid ended in the 80s. Like literally yesterday and in our lifetime. Anyway, I highly recommend the bus tours because you can cover a lot in one day if you are short on time. Day 6. My travel buddy left a day early, so that left me on my own for a day. It turned out to be AWESOME!!! I was semi nervous about being in a foreign country by myself but I'm well traveled so I just tackled the day and made the best of it. I bought a two-day bus tour pass because it was economical and the easiest way for me to do my own thing and still feel safe. Today was wine tour day! I knew my friend didn't drink so I saved this part of the trip for my solo day. Perfect! The bus tour connects to the wine bus tour so I set out early that morning hoping to do all 3 wineries along the route. On the way to the wine bus the scenery is just breathtaking! The houses are gorgeous and are home to most of the diplomats of South Africa. While en route I did not realize there was a botanical garden named Kirstenbosch! I hopped right on off at that stop because if it was anything like what I have already seen in Cape Town it was going to be amazing. I spent only an hour at the botanical garden because I was on a winery mission. If I had more time I would have spent a few hours there. Everything was beautiful and if beautiful flowers, mountain views, and tranquility are your thing make this one of your stops. I hopped back on the bus because yes wine! The next stop was the wine bus connection and I was excited! First stop...Groot Constantia which means large or big Constantia. The vineyards are vast and the mansion is white with two restaurants on property. I probably should have eaten before the wine tastings, but I'm glad I didn't because I would have missed out on my fantastical seafood lunch. Anyway the wine tasting gives you the option of five white and red wines out of maybe ten choices. I liked all but one of my choices from Pinot, Shiraz, and Cabernet. The give you a few crackers but it doesn't help. Come on a full stomach or you will be tipsy like me afterwards. The winery does sell their wines and gives you options to ship them back to the US. It can be pricey and the minimum to ship is six bottles. I wanted to sample the dessert wines but that was not an option so I bought two bottles to take home. The next winery was pretty much the same only it was a restaurant style set up so you are able to sit. Good thing because my tipsy was off the charts. I'm pretty sure my blood alcohol level was past .08 at this point. I tasted my five wines anyway and knew I had to eat something soon and very soon. I met a nice couple who I struck up a conversation with and they gave me a dessert wine and restaurant recommendation. Good thing for me the restaurant was next door. Harbor House was a second location to the original which is on the beach near Camps Bay. Seafood was finally happening! This was my favorite meal of the entire trip. The food was fresh and the flavors danced on my tongue. I loved everything about Harbor House even the flirtatious waiters. I had sushi (AMAZING) as an appetizer and a seafood pasta with prawns, mussels, and a sauce that was unforgettable. Yes for Harbor House! Well as I sobered up I hopped back on the bus and went back to the beach because I'm a beach fanatic. I should have spent more time there but wasn't in the mood for sand. I just admired from afar and had more gelato! I rode the bus back to the V&A Waterfront because I wanted to end the day on the Harbor cruise close to sunset. Mission accomplished. I got to see the seals that hang out by the pier and got to relax on a boat to end my day. The Waterfront is another one of Cape Town's beauties. I highly recommend South Africa as a vacation destination specifically Cape Town. It is beautiful, relaxing, and fun with loads of things to do. You can't fit everything into one week so plan on coming back again and again! Throw away everything you thought about Africa because it's wrong. Africa is AMAZING and worth every penny spent! It's a must see and must do! Mother Africa I love thee!