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God can you imagine if Donald Trump became president? There’d be like a new bubonic plague and he’d be like “idk drink bleach about it”

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*through gritted teeth* you are not a child taking a test with the purpose of getting the highest score, you are an adult trying new things and finding ways to enjoy your life, make mistakes, be a beginner, be mediocre, be where you need to be, be unlikeable, just. be.

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mom, dad… i’m…. RANDOM!! LOL XD

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TPK ON EPISODE THREE OF NEVERAFTER? BRENNAN YOURE FUCKIGN INSANE

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Hey, remember me? We spawned into beginner village together! You reclassed to Archmage? That’s awesome, don’t you have to get to like, level 60 for that? …Huh? Oh, haha, well, no not really, you know how it is with us village kids. Dropped out of the main questline like, way back. I just sort of play to fish, I’m not very good at combat. I’m doing okay for myself though, I caught a Sea Bass the other day that sold for 10g! Oh, um, sorry, didn’t mean to— no, it’s okay, i get it, daily dungeons are like, super important. It was really nice to see you again

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this guy's going to give me a huge crik in my neck

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eat an entire can of sweetened condensed milk. you deserve it.

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Anyone else fuck with individual songs? Who is the artist? I dunno. What album is it from? Shut up. What year was it released? *tim allen grunt* What's the title of the track? Fuck you. But it goes like this: *poorly memorized chorus*

I love that song. Do not ask me anything about it.

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My Chemical Romance in 2007 and My Chemical Romance in 2025

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"You could get up early and do it before work" I could also wait for a magic beanstalk to start growing in my living room LMAO. Let's focus on things that happen in the real world

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doorknob across the room quickly unsheathes and sheathes and suddenly my earbuds have been pulled out of my phone

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isn't he handsome?

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Customer: MOST EVIL. DMV: HOSTILE? Verdict: ACCEPTED

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Trail cam catching a deer fawn with the zoomies