mugiwaranonamii

[mugiwaranonamii]

It's crazy how giant squids and sperm whales just have like giant kaiju battles down in the deepest depths everyday and it's real

[mugiwaranonamii]

Yeah you could say I’m doing numbers on tumblr. And that numbers? One

[mugiwaranonamii]

$30 is the new $20 which we all know is an adult $1

[mugiwaranonamii]

so true

[mugiwaranonamii]

I don’t know how we’re letting trump get away with all this shit when I truly believe that if you threw a blanket over his head he would think it was nighttime and go to sleep like a bird

[mugiwaranonamii]

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

[mugiwaranonamii]

hello beloveds ☺️

[mugiwaranonamii]

December 6, 2024

[mugiwaranonamii]

"If tampons should be free, then so should my diabetes meds."

Yes? Yes they should be? Your life-saving medication that you need in order to live for a condition you were born with should be given to you at no cost?

[mugiwaranonamii]

This tweet is just... Odd. Very odd.

Like... You live like this? You write like this? You think like this??

[mugiwaranonamii]

10/10 dad joke

[mugiwaranonamii]

So apparently Tumblr ate my original post about this but:

A couple weeks ago I’m going to get lunch and as I open the fridge, my mother attempts to communicate to me that any chicken currently in the fridge is ok for people to eat, because the chicken that was intended for the dog to eat has been used up.

What she actually says is, “That’s human chicken.”

After taking a minute to process all horrible implications of the phrase “human chicken”, I decide to go a different route and hold the tupperware of chicken out to my sister, saying, “Behold, a man!”

This was evidently the wrong choice, as it meant I had to explain to my parents who Diogenes was, thereby cementing the incident in their minds and leading to me, just now, opening the fridge to see the following incredibly cursed image:

[mugiwaranonamii]

ugh. forget everything i’ve ever said. unless you thought it was smart or funny in which case remember it forever

[mugiwaranonamii]

[mugiwaranonamii]

"did my love aid and abet you" is a line to end all lines by the way. did my forgiveness and grace enable you? did you only treat me that way because you knew you could? did i allow you to do that to me because i didn't stop loving you? i love you, it's ruining my life

[mugiwaranonamii]

[mugiwaranonamii]

i actually never ever want AO3 to be censored bc nothing is more fun than reading the tags on a fic and going “huh. didn’t know there was a market for that.”