Hails (and Hunt and Bea and Benjy and Jane and Moisis and Juniper). Private Multi-Muse Page. Do not interact.
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closed for @cherryflcvoured
it takes a lot to pull juni from behind the counter, but as soon as she saw who was walking through the door, she was rushing from behind the counter already snapping at the customer. “what do you think you’re doing?! are you crazy?! no mames! A dog in a cat cafe?” she glanced down at the angel on the end of the leash. it wasn’t the poor babies fault that they were being lead into a danger den of cats, and if she had a normal cafe she would have welcomed the puppy with open arms, but sadly that was not her reality. she could already hear her poor babies getting worked up at the sight of the four-legged slobber machine. “you mentecato!! out out out!” juniper yelled at the man just as gina walked into the shop. “not you, mamas,” she clarified with a soft hand gina’s shoulder. “you could do nothing wrong and you are always welcome. you though,” she turned to the door owner, again, “make better decisions! adios!” juni helped him out the door, despite his protests, and turned to gina again. “i am so sorry, gina. that was embarrassing! ridiculous! do you want your usual?”
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Closed for @overwhlcmed
a movie premiere came with an annoying amount of duties. pick up my dry cleaning, bea. call my publicist, bea. it was a never ending deluge of demands and needs. all culminating into a couple of hours in heels and not nearly enough snacks or popcorn around. being there for her boss was part of her job description, but that meant she used her plus one as emotional support. sadly, with her brother not in town, that job fell to her brother from another mother - sami.
who’s home her towncar was pulling up to now. she was late and bea could NOT be running late. the boss would throw a fit and she honestly did not have the mental bandwidth to deal with that at the moment. she walked up to sami’s buzzer and started rapidly pressing the buttom. “sami! sami! sami! sami! let’s go! you better be dressed.”
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☁️ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ──────────── imani didn’t flinch at the harsh tone the man took with her. as someone who grew up being hauled from one stranger’s house to the next, she was use to bad attitudes and displaced anger. if she couldn’t handle a little contestment she wouldn’t have become a journalist. granted, it was a job title no one but damien knew she possessed but that had more to do with secrecy being essential and nothing to do with being afraid of being found out. why should she be ? she was proud of her work. similarly, though on a much smaller scale, why should she be embarrassed about keeping strays fed ? she was proud of that too. “ i’m sorry for interrupting you like that, i understand that was probably startling. ” imani wasn’t someone who couldn’t admit her wrongdoings, and apologies were easy when you prioritized the feelings of the person you were apologizing to. so when she apologized to him, she meant it. she wanted to make that clear before she met his energy with a semblance of her own. “ oh yeah ? ” she questioned, pulling a few bottles of water from her bag to begin filling up a big bowl for the dogs still crowding around her. “ and which one would you suggest ? ASPCA ? not necessarily a no kill, but they don’t euthanize based on lack of housing, pets that were returned, or space constraints which means they’re incredibly overcrowded. which, can lead to anxious dogs who lash out because they’re scared or in distress. who wants to adopt them then ? and you know what shelters do to the aggressive breeds when they’re overcrowded, i’ll give you three guesses if you don’t. ”
she moved on from the water and onto the food, making the decision she didn’t think she’d get his help on. “ or maybe social tees animal rescue ? a private no kill shelter who does work with foster parents, their whole goal is to re-home but what if they don’t think the dog you showed up with can be rehomed ? well, they’re private, they can turn you away. they may not have a spot for your pet but come back in a few weeks and you could get lucky. even then there’s no guarantee. there’s no pay in fostering and it can get costly extremely quickly so it’s hard to find volunteers. which means they’re not only overcrowded in the shelters but in the homes as well. when they could be out, running free without the anxiety or aggression. making their own friends with a community that looks out for their food and water. i’ve even gotten at least five of them spayed or neutered so that there aren’t more out on the street being ignored by new york joggers who believe they know better than everybody else or maybe they just have better things to do, like get their apple watch steps in for the day. ” she smiled up at him while the dogs happily munching at their food, a hand coming up to give a gentle pet on one of their heads. “ you said all of that when you could have just answered the question so i’m going to say you just think you know better. ” she shrugged.
Fully chastised, Benjy crossed his arms over his chest and turned in on himself. There was the ghost of his wife and a slightly overweight cat back at home that would probably be smacking him across the head if they had heard the way he’d just spoken to the dog lady on the ground. Officer Ravioli had been the brain child of Lily’s when she found out there wasn’t much time left. A little something to remember me by she had told him the morning she’d came home from her coffee run with a hairy furball in her hands. They’d never had a pet before, and Benjy was slow to warm up to the little demon, but Officer Ravioli had kept him sane of the last few months. It was something that needed to be taken care of on the hardest days and, on the rare occasion, a very cuddly friend who made him laugh. Now, he sounded like a grumpy, dog hater. Which he wasn’t! He wasn’t about to walk back on his bad attitude though - not when he had a reputation to uphold.
“Well, thank you for that enlightening lesson. I will be sure to avoid all options if I ever find an animal that I can’t keep,” he frowned as he watched her and the pack of dogs run amok. There was a tiny dog off to the side who’s tail was wagging like crazy as he munched away at his food. Benjy’s eyes, for all intents and purposes, softened at the sight of the pup. They weren’t bad creatures, just a pack of dogs in a rough spot. There was nothing Benjy could do though. He shook his head, hardening his heart again. “I’m just saying, don’t ambush people in the middle of the street for your Mother Theresa act.”
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overwhlcmed:
☁️ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ────────────── shame wasn’t an emotion nate felt very often; he hardly felt anything at all anymore. it was exactly how he wanted it. when maya passed, he’d buried the part of him that cared so deeply in the recesses of his mind and abandoned it there. he’d left it there so long that the path back to it had become overgrown with weeds, elm trees, roots spreading across the ground, and moss; so much foliage blocking out the light made it impossible to find his way back to it even if he wanted to. but the look in jane’s eyes as he shot off bullets that were aimed to maim, lit a fire to the blockage and left him feeling something he hadn’t in years. the guilt from how he ended things rising from the shallow grave he dug for it and trying to claw its way back into his heart. there wasn’t anything she said that wasn’t true. the prods to his chest weren’t particularly rough, but each one reverberated beneath his rib cage, breaking off more pieces of himself he didn’t even realize he had left to lose. it was hard to keep her gaze as she spoke, but he owed it to her not to look away. he should listen to the truths he was continuously trying to deny.
when she walked away he expected to feel relief, but he was only unsettled. the space between them was filled with things he should have said but wouldn’t. the bottle from her bag stopped at his feet and he told himself to kick it away, to pretend he never saw it, pretend he never saw her and go home. but his body didn’t listen. instead, it bent over to pick up the cool bottle and head in her direction. the slow walk turned into a light jog to catch up with her and once he was at her side he slowed down to keep her pace. his eyes stuck on the ground like a child who’d just gotten scolded as he held the bottle out in front of her. “ you started it. ” he muttered. it was immature to keep score. what he had said by far was worse than any insult she had given him but to apologize would be a display of vulnerability he just wasn’t capable of anymore. “ i did mean it though, what i said before. ” he went on, his eyes still averting her. “ about going alone to those kind of calls…─── and also about slowing down and actually reading the casting calls. you’re too trusting. always have been. that’s all. ”
There was the age old saying what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Jane, especially in that moment, wanted to take the proverb and shove it up the ass of whoever decided that (Not Kelly Clarkson, of course, but the person before Kelly Clarkson), because it was bullshit. There was not a moment in their life that Jane felt stronger or better since her crash, her brush with death. Some days the weight of the world felt too much to bear. Getting out of bed was difficult most days, and they were always crying. And now they were crying in front of one of the few people that new them before everything changed. That’s why Nathan didn’t seem to understand. He wasn’t the only one who experienced a life-altering, world-shattering experience. There was a before Jane and an after Jane, and After Jane was weak, insecure, and broken and it had taken just a few words to crack her shell. She couldn’t get out of there quick enough.
Their mind wandered to laying in bed, cocooning herself into a bunch of blankets, and watching reruns of the Great British Baking Show when they felt Nathan’s presence to their side. A laugh almost escaped her at his petulant attitude, but her snotty tears turns it into a gargley sigh. “I think that depends on how far we’re going back...” She responded, unsure if she was teasing or wanting to really start keeping tally of the wrongs they both shot at each other. Jane rolled to a stop and turned to look at Nathan, their eyes falling just on Nate’s nose so they didn’t have to look in his eyes. She took the bottle back from him. “Careful, Nathan. Someone might think you actually care.” She sighed and ran a hand across her eyes, smearing her eyeliner. “No, no. You’re right. I’ll try to stick with Union Casting Calls... “
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worldofbeauties:


Geraldine Viswanathan
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thejobutupaki:






adria arjona via instagram
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overwhlcmed:
☁️ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ───────────── surprisingly enough, growing up as kal sekh’s sister had made her well equipped to deal with stubborn men. yet, benjy continued to test her patience with every conversation they had. she never let him to deter her though. she was determined to help him come out of the depression that losing his wife had put him in. eren knew the pain that came with losing a loved one; her own father being lost to the same illness that threatened to take her meant to had to grieve her own life just as much as she grieved for him, but if there was one thing she was certain of it was that her father wanted her to live, not to just be alive. it was the same wish she held for reid if she should pass on soon. while her intentions and friendship with benjy had come from a pure place, she couldn’t deny that she pushed him so hard because she was terrified of reid ending up in the same darkness benjy had found himself in. subconsciously, she’d been projecting onto the older man but yielding results so she continued to push.
“ absolutely fucking not. ” her response was quick; her arm looping through his just in case he tried to make a run for it. for a sick woman, her strength was still somewhat there and she yanked him deeper into the ballroom without letting up. “ you’re not a pity date, you’re my friend and i’d like to enjoy some time with you here as well, but i’m loving the gala to-do list you’ve got going on in your head right now, that’s a good starting point. it’s good to set goals. ” she agreed pulling out her phone to type up what he just said with the intention of the two of them marking each off as the night progressed. “ okay, i think starting with a drink is good, but we need to up the stakes on the ‘ hi ’ remark. instead of just saying ‘ hi ’ to someone, you need to have a conversation with them…── twenty minutes minimum. actually, make that two someones. bit of a challenge for you. ” she noted the changes in her notes app before continuing. “ let’s see, having a snack is fine but you have the snack after you dance. now, i’ll be understanding. you can either dance with someone you know for three songs or someone you don’t for two. now, if you’re able to find a group of people to do a line dance with i’ll let you get away with only dancing to one song, sound good ? that sounds great to me. ” she concluded, knowing his input would be less than agreeable and sending the notes his way.
“Okay...” He smacked his lips together as he was directed into the ballroom. This was not his first rodeo at one of these things. Every year the Rangers held a fundraiser for the fanciest New Yorkers and he had to dress up and be paraded around for that. This felt very similar to that situation as he and Eren glided around the room. Something she said though reminded him that this situation was different though - They were friends, as unconventional as their friendship was. Still, spending time with friends was supposed to be fun. All of his friends in the past had been their friends. People who didn’t know how to be around him after Lily died. Which had literally pushed him into the direction of Eren and their support group. Fate was really odd that way.
Benjy watched on as she started making a list of things to do at the gala that evening. “Uh, it wasn’t really a to-do list, but okay... You are not going to drop this and I'm an idiot. Okay.” He had trailed off, mostly whispering to himself. He scratched absently at his forehead trying to think of ways to up the ante. “Let me guess, you don’t count towards those two someones. In my defense, you are a someone though.” He sighed as she continued on, practically ignoring his protesting. They weren’t really challenging, it was something he used to do all the time, but Eren seemed to know exactly what he didn’t want to do and decided that was exactly what he needed to do. “That’s what you consider to be understanding? More like torturing.” She continued and he couldn’t help but let out a deep sigh.
“Fine, but I’m hungry so let’s do this thing.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her out onto the dance floor. A swinging jazz number was playing, and he settled his hand on her back like he used to do with his wife towards the end of her cancer, weak and clumsy. Eren was not to that point by a long shot, but old habits die hard. “Lily had me take dance classes for our first dance, so I will warn you that I’m pretty good at this.” At the perfect moment, he dipped her low and started dancing again. “What’s your to-do list for the evening, then?”
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☁️ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ───────────── it was easy to see that benjy had gone somewhere else in his mind. there were a few times she had caught him like that, but there were just some pressure points on a person she didn’t think she should press. she’d already invaded benjy’s life with her eccentric five year old and her knack for breaking into his apartment, the last thing she wanted was to give him a reason to shut her out for good. the person she was five years ago was a lot like him in believing she didn’t need anyone in her life to get her through. five years with the most insane five year old had showed her that there was nothing more important to have than a community. she hoped her and yesina had provided some semblance of that for him; dysfunctional as it may be. “ who got too much sleep ? ” she questioned, taking a moment to look around as if there must have been someone else he was speaking to. “ don’t speak that into the universe, whatever deity that has it out for me might here and cut my hours even more. ” she played along just as yesina came crashing into her legs.
‘ they have the warheads ! ’ the young girl exclaimed, bouncing at her side. she recognized benjy standing beside them packing things away and held it up for him to see. ‘ do you like these mr. benjy ? i like the way they burn my tongue ’ there shouldn’t be anything that startles ximena, when it comes to yesina, yet she still reached her hand to cover the young girl’s mouth. “ what did we say about our inside thoughts, sina ? ” she questioned with a force laugh as she removed her hand to grab one of the coffees she desperately needed. “ don’t answer that eat your candy. ” some battles were better lost before they even began. “ i’d like to say that’s not what she meant, but it absolutely is what she meant…─── i’m doing my best to tire this one out so we can all get some sleep tonight so we’re headed to the children’s museum. you’re more than welcome to join us if you’d like. ”
Benjy’s hand went up in defense. “No, no. I think you, and the universe, misheard me. I got no sleep. Much needed sleep, I might add,” he teased, rolling his shoulders, making something in his back crack loudly. He took the moment to give Yesina a hard look for his lack of sleep, but he let a small smile escape to let her know he was just teasing. Not that the child needed the clue. She was smarter and more devious than any child he had ever met, and he had met a handful - a lot of his teammates had children and they were around the rink all the time. None that could hold a candle to Yesina though.
His eyebrows raised at the warhead comment, and he did his best to hold a smile back. There really was something about his neighbors that just pulled his personality out of him. On the days he felt the most down or hopeless, he would heard Yesina running around or Ximena singing and he would crack a smile or remember a happier time with his wife. “I’m personally more of a sour gummy worm kind of guy, but uh... Thanks for sharing.” He grabbed his own bottle of coffee and popped the lid before drinking half of it in two seconds, if only to give him something to do while the other two had their mother and daughter moment. As they left the bodega, he held the door open for the two women, pausing only slightly when they invited him along. “The Children’s Museum? What is on display at a Children’s Museum?” He wondered out loud as he thought about the invitation. His evening was free, thanks to an early morning practice that went as well as he could hope at his age, and he enjoyed spending time with X & Y. Was that not weird though? It was weird. He was a single, sad man and they were a family enjoying a sunny Sunday. “You know, that’s alright. Wouldn’t want to impose on the ladies day out. Plus, I don’t know if I would fit into the museum. If it’s for children.” He attempted the joke.
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☁️ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ────────────── the sight of the color blossoming on his cheeks was too much for kehlani to take. her smile spread so wide the width of it hurt her cheeks. she had to tuck her lips and nose into the palm of her hand to try and hide the extent of it; her head tilting away slightly so compose how giddy she felt just looking at him. “ okay, okay. i’m sorry, you just took me by surprise. ” kehlani spoke after composing herself enough to speak. it wasn’t an easy thing to do whenever momo was involved. the natural state of him was enough to make her heart swell three sizes, and a permanent smile to be etched onto her features.it went beyond just enjoying his company, but it was a feeling she couldn’t quite put into words yet ( or perhaps she was just too scared to ). change was an entity that left her unsettled. there were too many avenues for things to go wrong that she’d rather relish in the comfort of routine than take a step off a cliff not knowing what lay beneath. so instead of reflecting on why there were butterflies taking residency in her stomach at the side of his blushing cheeks, she settled for opening her lips once more to offer another taunt at his expense. “ does that mean we’re going to be talking about kinks again ? ” her voice was a whisper this time, as requested; her body leaning forward on the table. “ how many do you have ? should i be concerned ? ” even without his response laughter bubbled up behind her lips again, and she had to cover her mouth with her hand again to muffle the sound.
the teasing made it easier to forget about the goosebumps running down her back, or the way her hand itched to twirl a braid or two around her finger as she looked at him. though, it never helped for long. momo was always ready with a reaction or a comment that made her insides flutter with delight. even something as simple as taking enjoyment in answering her nonsensical questions. it was something so gentle of an action; to not just hear what she was asking but to listen thoughtfully and provide a thoughtful answer, no matter how silly the inquiry. her natural demeanor made it hard to identify whenever she was being serious about something, but rather than write her off, momo decided he’d take most of it seriously anyway. it filled her with so much adoration she didn’t know where to put it all. as they walked side by side her hands swung at her side unsure of what to do with them since there was quiet urge to reach for him. the comfortable pace they found interrupted only by his question, and the shift in tone brought concern to her features, her feet slowing down their already slow pace as she looked to him. “ yeah, of course you can momo. ” she spoke earnestly, her hand coming to rest on his arm in a comforting gesture as she eyed him. “ is everything alright ? is someone messing with you ? y’know, damien can’t really fight but his size is enough to intimidate anyone, i’m serious. ”
Her laughter made Momo drop his face to his hands, his cheeks flaming even hotter at her words. “One day we’re going to get kicked out of here...” He mumbled into his hands. Part of him hoped if the librarian didn’t see his eyes, then they didn’t see him at all and he would get to keep his NYU library access. Kehlani seemed to put that in jeopardy every time they met, but always managed to talk herself out of trouble. Or talk so much that the librarian forgot why she had even come over to their table in the first place. It was her super power. One that had him hopelessly hooked from the moment he met her. One that he hoped could benefit him. The thought sent a shiver down his back, and he felt gross thinking about it that way, but the truth was he needed Kehlani now more than ever.
Momo rolled to a stop next to her on their walk, confused by her reaction. Nothing he had said warranted her scared reaction, had it? The confusion continued to grow on his face as she mentioned Damien and someone messing with him. In the distance, a bike bell rang and Momo instinctually moved out of the way, taking Kehalni with him with a light touch to her lower back. The contact didn’t last longer than it needed to, but his fingers were ablaze with the innocent, unthinking touch. The comfortable touch... Kehlani was always freely touching him - his shoulder, his arm, his back - but Momo’s movements were always intentional. He kept his hands to himself, but that... Momo crossed her arms under his chest, pressing his hands against his sides to hide the fact he wanted to ball his hand into a fist and scream. The bike passed, and Moisis continued with a gulp. “No, no. Nothing like that. Damien can’t help me here. Well... No, no. He can’t. So, you see, my PHD professor is throwing this big event with all these prospective employers and it’s optional, but highly encouraged. My aunt tells me highly encouraged actually means mandatory, which doesn’t really make sense but... Anyways, I’m supposed to go and talk to these people and sound impressive, but I can’t,” he said with a sigh. “I can’t talk or sound impressive. You talk, a lot, and I find you incredibly impressive though. So I was wondering...” Momo trailed off, but cleared his throat and tried again. “I was hoping you would go with me. Please, go with me.”
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☁️ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ────────────── when people spoke of a frightening familiarity with an ex, she doubted this was what they meant. as she stood in front of hunt, his jaw locked and her hands fidgeting with themselves in front of her, it was an eerily similar scene. how many times had they been in this position before ? hunt with something buried deep within him locked so tight not even his fiance could pull the information out of him, and evie afraid of losing him for good timidly asking questions, trying to pry more information out of him, practically begging him to talk to her, before giving up entirely. in those days, it was easier for her to accept his silence for the delusion that she just needed to be patient; he’d find his way back to her. making herself believe a fallacy was easier than accepting that she could lose him because losing him meant losing her safety net. it meant admitting that she’d become so sick that being with someone who didn’t treat her like he wanted to be with her was the better alternative to being in her own home alone.
but time had past since then. her greatest fear of losing him coming to pass by her own hand. there was nothing but her own guilt still tied tight with barbed wire around her heart that made her hesitate in pushing him further. there was a knee-jerk reaction to apologize, not just for her attempt in making casual conversation but for all of it, but she knew it would only be in attempt to alleviate the pressure on her own heart. she’d say the word as many times as he wanted to hear it, but only if it was what he wanted. but that had always been part of their problem, he never told her what he wanted. “ then don’t pretend, i’m not asking you to.” it was spoken so softly, almost a desperate plea, she was surprised it had left her lips at all. the urge to bite her tongue and leave it at that building up with her panic, but she didn’t know if she’d ever get an opportunity to speak with him again. “ speak honestly, have the conversation you want to have with me. the one we never did. ” in the aftermath, there wasn’t much talking between them. a sorrowful realization that things were over, justified anger and disappointed consumed every interaction afterwards. any ‘ i’m sorry ’ she could give hanging in the air without her knowing if it was something he was ready to receive. and then he was just, gone. “ but please just…─── talk to me ? ”
Talking. Thinking. Yelling. Fighting. All of the above with her, with Evie. What would it change? Unless they could go back time and change things - Stop the cheating. Stop the distance Hunt had put between him and Evie. All of it. That was the only thing that could make any difference at this point. Even in his wildest Science Fiction fantasies he couldn’t see that happening or coming into fruition. To be fair, he was a terrible, unsuccessful Science Fiction writer. And that was the problem, wasn’t it. He wasn’t the man he planned on being. The expectations were so great and, while some would think he surpassed them, Hunt had gone in the complete opposite direction. The romance novel had been a one shot. A completely, unplanned writing exercise to get out of his mind. An exercise he had accidently sent to his agent. Now this... This I can work with, they said. Simultaneously a dagger to the heart and a gift. A gift he entertained and worked with for years, but it was never enough. Never manly enough for his father. Good enough for his sister. Prideful enough for his mother. The thoughts and feelings started creeping into his relationship with Evie. His fiancé. Fiancé. Part of Hunt wonders now, looking back, if the proposal was a knee-jerk reaction to his feelings of emasculation. Hopefully, his feelings were just tinged by the darkness of hurt and sadness.
How did someone turn all of those thoughts and feelings into... words. “I should be better at this. I should be able to take everything up her,” he motioned to his head, “and turn it into fucking words. I’m a fucking author!” Or he had been. Or was. Hunt hadn’t written a word in days. Months probably. A few sentences here and there, at most. Nothing since his muse left him. Since his Evie left him. A deep sigh escaped his lips. “What is there to say, Evie? What conversation is there to have?!” He walked over to the steps and sat down with a huff. “I can’t talk to you. I can barely look at you. But, if I’m being completely honest - I can’t look at myself. I can’t sit here in my head any longer, running in circles, pretending that everything is fine when everything is bullshit. Everything is just bullshit! Is that what you want to hear?”
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status : closed / ( @multihailstormm ) location : a theater on broadway, any of them really
☁️ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ───────────── auditions were their own form of agonizing torture. artists were made to stand in front of a group of the most judgemental yet brilliant minds that expanded across generations. trinity had been subjecting themselves to the humiliation of it since she was eight years old, yet the harsh twisting in her stomach every time they had to walk up to the double doors of a theater, to wait in a cold hallway until their name was called never loosened. it wasn’t the actual audition part that wrecked their nerves. whenever trinity performed they went somewhere else, became so immersed in the character she was portraying that any remnants of herself were left at the door to be picked up on the way out. what often made them hesitate wasn’t their own perception of themselves, but everyone elses. each time walked into a waiting room and fellow eager performers sighed or rolled their eyes, scooting closer to their friends to speak in hushed tones about who their dad was and how nepotism must have played a part somehow ( if it wasn’t the part, it was the audition, if it wasn’t the audition it was a sneak peak at the upcoming show’s book ). it bothered them, of course it did. she worked just as hard ( they would argue even harder ) than most of then, but all of their accomplishments continued to be attributed to their father. their debut on the west end, a feat her father never managed to acquire during his career, could only distinguish them for so long. they needed their big break out moment and they needed it fast.
they’d been so engulfed in running the sides over in their head once again they only tore away from it when the snickering beside them became too loud to ignore. she figured it was directed at her, head snapping up to make a passive aggressive comment when they realized it was directed at the familiar face sitting across from them: jane. “ lorraine and sarah, isn’t it ? ” they popped up, voice sickeningly sweet as she leaned forward. “ you guys did…── beetlejuice in the previews, right ? ensemble, of course. ” the blow came with a soft laugh that could have been seen as well natured if you weren’t attuned to the hardships of broadway auditions. “ it’s crazy not seeing you guys in all the ghostly make-up. you two look human ! almost. must be the lighting. ” they went on as they rose from their own chair and moved to sit beside jane, effectively blocking her from the view of mean spirited actors. “ well, i hope you guys worked out those count and going flat kinks. i know that was something that got you cut from the six call so maybe that’s something you should be working on now, hm ? just to be safe, you could be called in any minute. ” she concluded, the smile on their face never leaving until the two turned away. “ don’t mind them, the only thing those two would ever succeed in is the lost art of industrial shows…── in fact, i’m pretty sure lorraine did do walmart the musical, talk about career suicide. ” they tsked flipping their side back to the front before looking back jane. “ they didn’t psyche you out did they ? because if you go in there and don’t give your all because of something ghouls number two and seven said i’m going to be so pissed. ”
It wasn’t a dance call, but Jane always felt a little more relaxed and calm when she was stretching. The holding area was full, but they were able to find an area to sit down and stretch out, sides just in front of her so she could practice. Thankfully, these sides weren’t for a porno masquerading as a musical. Although, Moulin Rouge wasn’t too far off considering everyone wore things and bustiers through the two act musical. The dancing and lights and music though made it one of their top musical wish-lists on Broadway right now, so when the open call came around, Jane made sure she was on the audition list. Auditions... Their least favorite part of musical theater. She hated the part where she went and stood in a room in front of the people that could make or break her career and there’s was two minutes, before she sang or dance or performed, where they were just judging them on their appearance. Their mangled, imperfect appearance. Jane had to work twice as hard just so they would look past her face.
Thankfully, the mean girls in the audition holding room were great practice for that. They wouldn’t notice Jane at first, but when the others started looking around and sizing people up their eyes would land on her and the whispers and giggles would begin. She stood out, for the wrong reasons, and everyone made sure she knew that. After the fourth or fifth audition, they learned to keep to themselves. To tune out everyone to the best of their ability. Everyone but Trinity. For some reason they looked right past her face and made it all about talent or practice. Trinity could knock her down three pegs, for sure, but it was never about how Jane looked. It was about who was best for the part and who deserved it more. It was that reason, Jane never listened to any of the rumors about nepotism. They knew how hard Trinity worked and they were not about to diminish that talent. There was a mutual respect and admiration there, even if they were each other’s competition.
That was everyone though, and Jane was happy to have them on their side. Even just a little. Evident by the way Trinity had stood up for Jane and put Lorraine and Sarah in their place. A small smile graced Jane’s face as the two girls turned away, leaving her alone finally. She didn’t thank Trinity - that wasn’t the type of relationship they had but she was appreciative of their actions regardless. Taking a deep, calming breath through her nose, Jane shook their head. “No, no. I’m used to it. I know they don’t matter. The only people that matter are in that room.” She remarked, pointing at the door to the stage. She leaned over to touch her toes and let out another deep breath. “I think you psyched them out though. You have a radar for everyone’s weaknesses, I swear. It’s amazing. Going out for Satine?”
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☁️ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ──────────── on every star in every constellation she could see past the light pollution of the city, evie had wished she’d met hunt in the light years before the accident. she was stronger back then, confident, and brave. the evie before moved with certainty and without hesitation. she wouldn’t have needed to cling to him every second of every day. she could stand a night on her own, sitting in the darkness without a sense of dread overcoming her for things that hadn’t or wouldn’t happen but felt real to her all the same. she wouldn’t have sought out safety in the arms of someone he trusted almost as much as he trusted her because the evie before didn’t need anyone else to make her feel safe. the person she was when she met hunt wasn’t the woman he deserved. from the moment she met him, he always made her feel like there was a world in which she could but years of therapy taught her that she never did. instead of getting the help she needed, she expected him to heal her. she placed the burden of her own mental instability onto his shoulders and cut him down in the worst ways when he cracked under the pressure of it. the person she was before wouldn’t have treated him that way, and who she was now needed more than an ‘ i love you ’ to feel safe. she needed noise cancellation headphones, a bottle of pepper spray, and a silent mantra to herself whenever facing something difficult; and hunt was the most painful memory to face.
three things you see, three sounds you hear, three parts of your body…── the sound of her therapist reciting the mantra to her played back in her head as hunt addressed her with something that wasn’t disregard or apathy. it an isolated incident to hear more than four words given in her direction. she didn’t know how to keep this line of friendly communication going, and the thought that he could disappear into the crowd again set her on the verge of panicking. three things you see: the blue of eyes, the way they couldn’t meet hers, the sullen look on his face telling her something was wrong. “ yeah, yeah. i’m glad i came too. it’s good to get out sometimes. see…─── familiar places or… faces…─── and everyone and thing looks so nice ! ” three sounds you hear: the way he said her name, how stupid she sounded, the silence that built between polite sentences. “ i understand. it’s pretty busy in there. lots of people, and movement, and loud music. a break from the excitement could be helpful. ” three parts of your body: her shifting knees, her shaking hands, her heartbeat picking up speed by the minute. “ um, no. no, i don’t think i will. ” the mantra hadn’t helped her feel that much better. in fact, it almost made her feel worse. being present in that moment with him only reminding her of how much she’d hurt him. “ i think i’ll go try and find some sort of constellation in the sky instead, my head gets too busy at these things i think i just need to empty it for awhile. ” she breathed take the few timid steps off the stairs and on to the same ground he’d been standing on. “ what about you ? ” she let the question hang in air for brief moment, mouth opening and shutting again before she pushed through and asked the question anyway. “ i know it’s not my place and i don’t really have a right to ask anymore but…── are you okay ? it just…── i don’t know, it feels like something’s off. ”
That was a part of Hunt, a part deep, deep down inside that knew the demise of their relationship wasn’t just on Evie. That he had pulled away and became distant and withdrawn. Had lost his confidence and motivation, and taken it out on Evie in a way. It had been the exact opposite of what she needed, and so she had sought comfort from someone else. His best friend. The bastard. All of that said, his blood still boiled when he thought of someone he expected to live the rest of his life with tangled in the arms of someone he would have died for. Two knives to the heart and every kind word she said now felt like nails on a chalkboard. It was the way she was casually conversing with him that caused him to clench his hands into fists. At one point they had shared their greatest secrets. Whispers in the dark, while their heads rested on the same pillow. Evie knew his true writing identity. And now they were talking about music and people and a party like they were talking about the weather. Or, at least she was, he wasn’t saying much of anything now. He couldn’t be polite.
Finally, his eyes went to hers as she walked down the steps and stood un front of him. He stared down at her, the height difference evident, as she posed the question. ‘Are you okay?’ Was he okay? He could have laughed. “No...” He clenched his teeth. “You don’t have the right.” She gave up that right when she because the source of his problems and the bane of his existence. Evie broke his heart. Now, he couldn’t write the love stories that kept food on the table and his lights on. Stories he didn’t even want to write but could help to because he was a failure as a science fiction writer. All of that was coming to a point and he blamed Evie and she had the gall to ask him if he was okay. “Evie, I can’t do this. I’m not there. I can’t pretend everything is fine and have these conversations with you.”
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apcthetics:
*˖ ⊹ he heard juni before he saw her, the sound of her voice calling his name echoing down the hallway, causing alistair to sink down in his chair. his hands came up to rub against his face, and he peered at the time blinking at him from his computer screen from between his fingers. he loved juniper. for a better portion of his formative teenage years, she was his whole life. when their mom died, their dad following suit not long after from the grief and the alcohol, the only way he knew how to deal with his pain was by ensuring that juni didn’t have to miss out. even if he felt his own young life spiralling out of control, he could focus on making hers the best it could be. he was a lost cause, but that didn’t mean his baby sister had to be. and he succeeded─… at least well enough that juni hadn’t ended up in jail, had gotten her education, had her own life and her own business. it wasn’t a complete failure.
and yet ? every time juniper reached out to him, seeking the emotional comfort that a big brother should have provided, he felt himself pulling away from her. she was yet another painful reminder of the past that he tried so hard to shake off— the parents he pretended he never thought off, and the struggles of his youth that alistair preferred to avoid rather than acknowledge head on. the old alistair castillo was dead. he had done his job. she was a fully fledged adult now, and like most others, she would be better off without him. but their genetics were the same, and the stubborn loyalty that ran through his blood ran through hers, too.
“ you come to me, on the day of my daughter’s wedding… “ he hollered back in the most obnoxious italian accent he could muster as he heard juni call his name again down the hall. when she appeared in the doorway, he rolled his head to the side to flash a sardonic grin in her direction. letting his hands come to the arms of the office chair, he pushed himself back to a proper sitting position. “ glad to see you out in public, interacting with something that doesn’t have fur─… are those croquetas ? “ he perked up, shoving with one foot off the tiled floor so the chair’s wheels slid him in her direction. his hands made a grabbing motion towards the container in her hands. “ lo que quieras, no puedo ser sobornado… but the coffee will certainly help your case. hand it over. “
“Aye, no estoy pidiendo asesinato o dinero!” She called back in response to his quote. However timely he thought it was, she would never ask him for so much. Again. Not that she had ever asked him to take care of her as a child, but he’d done it without question. Now, her problems where her own. She dealt with things her own way. Alistair knew things had gone south when she worked at Per Se, but she never truly told him everything that happened there to make her leave. And she never would. Juni would never be a burden to Alistair again - just a menace.
As he reached for the croquetas, she pulled the box away from his grasp teasingly. “Croquetas and Conchas,” she informed him, holding her finger up, “but I can take them back if you are going to be snotty with me, manito. Insult the fur babies again and I’ll make sure your next sweet bread or coffee is covered in cat hair.” With her warning made, she handed him the box of sweet and the coffee she had saved for him. He may not come to her store often, for his own reasons, but she knew what he liked.
Leaning against the door, her arms crossed, she gave him a menacing look. “Why do I have to want something?” She asked taking a sip of her coffee. “I already told you I don’t need murder or money. Can’t I just surprise my brother at work?” She raised an eyebrow knowing that he would likely dismiss the question, but she decided to poise it anyway. “And I brought you coffee. I’m saving someone from a very bad tattoo later. You look asleep on your feet! Why, are you not sleeping? Or are you sleeping with too many? Really, you should be leaving women alone. You’re going to catch a STI.”
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*˖ ⊹ “ happens to the best of us. there was this one time i went with my roommate to this big party for some kind of book he was launching, and i felt so out of place among all these rich-ass authors with their big words that i drank too much, and there was this puddle on the floor i missed and i just ate shit in the middle of a venue like this. “ damien babbled as he worked at undoing the buttons on his shirt, “ it was fucking hilarious, man, but i couldn’t stop thinking about how embarrassing it was for like weeks afterwards. “ when his younger sister came home talking one day about a boy that she met in college, her excitement about him was tangible enough that damien could see it coming off of her in waves. his first instinct was to be cautious. kehlani tended to have her head stuck up in the clouds in a way that him and honey did not, and damien knew there was the very real possibility of her latching onto someone who wasn’t good for her simply because she had never been capable of just letting go. meeting momo for the first time had put every anxiety damien had felt to rest. the way the younger man had slipped into their unique ( and slightly eccentric ) family dynamic had been so easy it went almost unnoticeable. in no time that same protective instinct he had over his sisters had extended to momo, too— to the point that damien was taking his side against his sisters any chance he got. it was like finally having a brother, even if momo could be a little shy and standoffish at times. “ if it were me, “ he paused to press his hand against his chest, “ i’d let you go in a heartbeat. but i’m not risking keke’s wraith if she finds out i just let you leave without a fight. “
pulling his shirt off of his shoulders, damien tossed it in momo’s direction, yet again reaching for the pale green suit jacket that he discarded onto the counter. “ i have my jacket ! “ he insisted cheerfully. there was no timidness in the way he altered his suit; damien had never been shy, because he was too eager to bask in the attention of others. “ oh—… i’ll give you some privacy so you can change. “ sliding his jacket back up his arms, damien turned his back to his friend. “ but for the record, i think you could pull it off. you’ve got that little guy charm, you know ? “
Hilarious and embarrassing where two words that didn’t typically go together. At least, when it comes to the person who was embarrassed. Momo was not very confident, however. Not like Damien was. It had been one of the first things Momo had noticed in the other man. The way he freely took up space, held his head high, and never apologized for just existing. He couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. Moisis had felt like a inconvenience the second his parents died. Never because of anything his aunt did or said, but just the fact that he was never where he was really supposed to be starting that moment. Damien was trying to cheer him up though, so it would do Moisis some good to get out of his head. A half-hearted chuckle escaped his lips at the other man’s story, but didn’t offer anything more since small talk was not his specialty. That said, the story was enough to calm him down a little. His shoulders relaxed and he finally let his eyes open slowly. He still kept them off to the side, respectfully, but he no longer looked like a toddler. “Yeah... Wrath is one way to put it. I call it passion.” He smiled briefly to himself at the thought of Kehlani, and the fit she would definitely throw if she found out he left. At least, without saying goodbye. “Anyways...”
He took the shirt from Damien and waited at the other man turned around to give Momo some privacy. It took a moment for his brain to catch up, but he finally started to undress. Pulling off his jacket and then his shirt. The words little guy charm echoed through his head and he turned to look into the mirror. Moisis was not a vain man. He saw his body as neutral, and when he looked at himself in the mirror he saw a vessel, a machine that allowed him to walk, run, bike, think, talk and laugh. For the first time in his life, probably ever, he lifted his arm and looked at himself in the mirror as he flexed. His muscles weren’t small, objectively, but compared to Damien there were... less. Momo wondered if others cared about that... He shook his head feeling silly, and quickly dropped his arms. “Maybe... I think I’ll feel better in a shirt though.” He replied, putting on Damien’s shirt and working on the buttons. “It’s a little big, but I think it will work.” He held his hands up to show the full look to Damien. “What do you think?”
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