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BOYS DON’T CRY
PAIRING: jake x fem!reader
GENRE/CW: smut, pwp, dog trainer!reader, sub!jake, unprotected sex, praise kink, handjob, cock riding, crying, dacryphilia, slight degradation, pet play, puppy kink.
WORD COUNT: 3070 words.
SYNOPSIS: Dog trainer is rather a fun occupation indeed, however, it is even more fascinating when the owner is far more obedient than the dog himself.
WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni.
A/N: hihi loves <3 this fic was requested by anonnie :3 all likes, comments, reblogs are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all and happy reading <33

You loved your job, truly. Being an animal lover, there was nothing more fulfilling than spending your days with sweet dogs, getting paid for the same was just a bonus.
But lately, one of your clients had started behaving more like the dogs than the dog himself. Shiro? He’s an angel, a sweet golden retriever with a heart of gold and a tail that wagged like a metronome the second he saw you. He was easy to train, highly intelligent, eager to please, and just a sweet ball of fluffy sunshine.
His owner, however, is a completely different story.
You crouched beside Shiro in the sunlit yard, brushing a hand along his neck, cooing low, “good boy, Shiro. You did so well today, hm? Such a smart boy.”
You couldn’t help but notice a sigh behind you, a sharp intake of breath, however, you didn’t turn around just yet, knowing it was just Jake strolling through, observing your process, like he always does under the guise to ensure his precious puppy was safe.
He never interrupted, just stood on the side with his hands shoved in the pockets of his sweats, pretending as if he’s not watching each move, listening to each command with the utmost concentration.
“Such a good boy,” you whispered yet again, letting your words linger as the puppy enjoyed the gentle caressing of your nails down his fur on the back.
That earned you another sigh, this one being sharper than before, which was enough to grasp your attention, eye flicking up to see Jake leaned against the side of the fence, arms crossed, sunlight caressing his face in a gentle breeze.
His hair looked as if he’d run his fingers through them plenty of times, tousled beyond normal, jaw tensed and plush lips parted just a bit. His eyes weren’t on Shiro, rather, he was fixated staring at your hand.
“Hey,” he breathed out the second he saw you staring, voice unsure, as if trying to appear stronger.
“Jake,” you stood up, “didn’t hear you come in.”
“Yeah, was just watching,” he said casually, gulping before saying, “you’re good with him.”
You chuckled, “I sure do hope so, been training dogs for a while now, they’re smart honestly, and well, praises always help.”
His pulse throbbed at his neck, you noticed the way his hand twitched at his side, fingertips brushing the waistband of his sweats.
“Praise, huh?” He echoed, voice huskier now.
You let your gaze wander down his body, “praise is powerful,” you said, stepping closer until he felt your warmth, “especially when it comes from someone you want approval from.”
Jake inhaled sharply, eyes flicking to your lips, then back up to yours, “I—uh, yeah.”
You smiled sweetly, feigning innocence as you tilted your head, letting your fingertips drift down to Shiro’s silky fur again instead of Jake’s needy body.
“Hm,” you murmured softly, “that’s why I always make sure Shiro knows when he’s being good.”
Jake stayed still, almost too still, however, you could feel the tension radiating off of him like heat, his body wound tight, practically trembling, he wanted to move, wanted your attention back.
“Such a good boy, sitting so well for me, hm? So well behaved,” you mumbled and Shiro barked with joy.
Jake could see your skirt ride up with how you were crouched down, which made the matter only worse for the poor boy, exhaling harshly, the tip of his ears turning a shy shade of red.
Instead, you scratched beneath Shiro’s chin, whispering gently, “I love how patient you are, baby. You don’t bark, you don’t whine, you just wait like a good boy.”
Jake made a soft noise behind you, barely audible, almost like a choked off groan, turning abruptly on his heel.
You glanced up to see his back already disappearing through the glass sliding door, his shoulders tense, jaw clenched like he was running from something. Like he needed space, maybe air, or rather, a cold shower. You grinned at the situation.
Without hesitation, you rose, brushing off your knees, gave Shiro one last kiss to the top of his head, who wagged his tail with happiness, and followed.
The hallway was quiet when you slipped inside. You heard the bedroom door creak open ahead, not slam, he didn’t wish to make a scene, didn’t want to admit he was bothered, but he was. The poor boy was unraveling.
You didn’t knock, just padded softly toward the half open door until you were leaning in the doorway, watching him with folded arms.
Jake stood by the window, head bowed, one hand gripping the edge of the sill, the other brushing up the back of his neck. His sweats were doing nothing to hide the tent between his legs, straining like it was begging for release. He hadn’t even noticed you yet, he simply wished to calm himself down.
You stayed silent for a moment, letting the air thicken between you, before breaking it with a gentle, “you alright?”
Jake stiffened for a solid second, turning slightly, eyes wide, “I—” his throat bobbed, voice cracking as he said, “yeah, of course. Just needed some air.”
You took a slow step in, then smiled, “was it the air, hm? Or the way I talk to your dog?”
He groaned, chest rising like he was holding back another sharp exhale, “you, uh,” he shook his head, biting the inside of his cheek.
You tilted your head, “It’s just praise, Jake,” you said innocently, crossing the room now until you were close enough to touch, “some boys need it more than others.”
He swallowed hard, eyes flicking down to your lips again, “I—what? Uh fuck.”
You smiled yet again, so innocent, then leaned close, your voice a velvet whisper by his ear, “and I know when a boy wants to be praised too.”
He was shaking by now, no one had ever cornered him like this, called him out this way, so clearly, yet softly, as if you had authority over him, and he was pretty sure that you did, or rather, he wanted you to have it.
Jake’s jaw tightened, his eyes fluttering shut for a second, like even your breath was too much for him. He looked down again, the tips of his ears practically crimson now, his chest rising and falling like he couldn’t get enough air.
“You’re so obvious,” you murmured, brushing your fingers along his wrist, watching him shudder, the way his body twitched, “standing here, trying to act like you don’t want it, but baby, your body always gives you away.”
“I’m not—” he started, but his voice cracked halfway through, and his knuckles clenched. He couldn’t even lie to you.
“No?” You asked, stepping even closer, chest nearly brushing his, “then why’d you run inside so fast, Jakey?”
He didn’t answer, instead, he stared at your mouth, blinking slowly, eyes glassy with the want he hadn’t even realized was showing. You sighed sweetly, fingers sliding up his shirt, then around the back of his neck as you gently turned him, walking him backward until his back hit the wall.
“Oh, baby,” you said softly, nose brushing his cheek, “you’ve got no idea how easy you are to read.”
Your thigh slid between his legs, and he gasped, “you heard me call Shiro a good boy and just about lost it, didn’t you?”
His head dropped back against the wall with a low groan. His hands twitched at his sides, not daring to touch you, eyes yearning at this point.
You leaned in, whispering hot against his throat, “poor thing, did it make you hard when I said it, huh? Or when I scratched his chin and told him how proud I was of him? Yeah?”
Jake whimpered, actually whimpered as if he was in pain.
“Oh,” you cooed, “there it is.”
Your hand trailed down his chest, not too fast, not too eager, rather, it was painfully slow. You kissed just under his jaw and smiled when he flinched like he’d been waiting for this, yet, not expecting it.
“Do you want me to say it to you?” You teased, brushing your hand over his aching cock through his sweats. He gasped, knees wobbling, “want me to call you a good boy, Jakey?”
“P—please,” he choked, voice thin and high.
“Aw,” you sighed, “I don’t know, I think you like the chase, don’t you? Acting like you’re not desperate, and then here you are, whining.”
You rubbed a little harder, watching the way his hips shifted forward into your palm without even thinking. You leaned close again, lips brushing his cheek, and whispered, “you’re already so hard through these. Is that from my voice, Jake? Or is it just that easy to ruin you?”
“Fuck,” he gasped, face burning, his body tense and shivering now, “I can’t—please.”
You tilted your head, “please what, baby?”
He looked at you with wide eyes, biting his lip, “call me that. Please, I—I really need it.”
You leaned in and licked the shell of his ear, “good boy.”
Jake whimpered again, louder this time, his head falling forward into your shoulder, body shaking.
“Aw, there it is,” you giggled softly, hand wrapping around the bulge in his pants, slow strokes that made him stutter against you, “that’s what you came inside for, right? My voice, hm? You want to be treated like a puppy too?”
He nodded, frantic almost. So you grabbed his jaw, tipped his head back against the wall and slotted your lips against his plush ones, and he melted with a low groan, legs buckling slightly as he moaned into your mouth.
You pulled back, breath warm on his lips, “bed. Now.”
He obeyed instantly.
You watched him go, all wobbly and flushed, then followed with a slow pace, pulling your top off over your head as you walked. His eyes were stuck on your thighs, your chest, your smirk, he looked like a man already halfway gone, devoted.
“Lay down, arms up.”
Jake followed. The second you climbed onto the bed, straddling his hips, he whimpered again, like he was afraid of what was coming and needed it more than air.
“Touch me, please?” He whispered.
You smiled, eyes sparkling, “good puppies don’t beg,” you said sweetly, pressing your hand over the front of his pants again, “they wait.”
His hips bucked under you, and he gasped when your fingers slipped inside the waistband, finally touching the flushed tip of his cock—already leaking, twitching in your palm.
“God, Jake,” you said, eyes glinting with dark amusement, “you’re dripping for me, didn’t even last a minute.”
“I’m sorry—fuck, I’m sorry,” he kept on mumbling, flushed by now.
You pressed your lips to his ear, “don’t apologize,” you whispered, “you should be like this, hm? Weak and ruined. That’s what you are for me, aren’t you?”
He nodded, a whimper coming right out of his chest. You stroked him slowly, ignoring his needy little thrusts up into your hand. He started panting, his eyes welled.
“Already?” You teased, tightening your grip, “you’re gonna cry from just this?”
Jake blinked fast, a tear slipping down the curve of his cheek, looking so pretty you couldn’t help but stare at the helpless man who laid under you, his eyes begging you, “I c—can’t help it, feels too good, you’re so—uh fuck.”
“Ah, poor lil pup, you get a little attention and you fall apart? Just like a good fucking puppy.”
That was enough for him to break, he fell apart with a loud, desperate moan, hot and messy in your hand, body shuddering hard. His head turned into the pillow, eyes squeezed shut, another tear sliding down his cheek.
But you were far from done. You climbed down his body, licking a slow stripe along his cock as he whimpered and writhed from overstimulation.
“Please, I can’t, oh god, fuck—it’s too much—” he gasped.
“Shh,” you smiled against the head, licking again, “good puppies don’t complain.”
Then you sucked him in again, brutally slow and mean, letting him cry under you.
“You love being ruined, don’t you?” You whispered against his soaked skin, “so desperate for my voice, my hands, my mouth, my fucking praise, hm?”
He nodded, sobbing softly now, trying to breather and you just chuckled. “such a pathetic, needy lil’ good boy.”
You crawled back up his trembling body, licking his tears as they fell, kissing each one from his flushed cheeks while his breath stuttered. He looked so beautiful like this, face sticky with desperation, lips swollen from biting down on them to keep quiet, eyes shining wet and wide as he stared up at you like you were the only person who understood him.
“You still crying, baby?” You chuckled, brushing his messy hair off his forehead, “or did that feel too good, hm?”
“I—I can’t,” he choked, hips twitching, still overstimulated, “feels so good—I can’t think.”
“Good,” you purred, leaning down to kiss him softly, juxtaposing the filthy way your hand was still pumping his sensitive cock, slow, just enough to keep his nerves fraying, “I don’t want you to think. I want you to feel, yeah? Want you to be a good boy and cry while I ride you.”
Jake made a crying sound in his throat, a whimper caught halfway to a moan. You slid back up, thighs spreading over him as you aligned your slick cunt to the flushed, trembling head of his cock. He was still twitching, still softening slightly from the orgasm, but the second your warmth touched him, he gasped, like his body had no choice but to obey you.
“Oh my god,” you moaned, letting yourself sink down, stretching around his thickness inch by inch. He was hot and swollen inside you, still a little too sensitive, and it made every second so much more delicious, “you feel so fucking good, puppy.”
His hands clenched at the sheets beside him like he was fighting for sanity, eyes rolled back slightly, wet lashes fluttering, tears spilling more freely as you sank all the way down on him, full and snug and perfect.
“You’re crying again,” you sighed, cupping his wet cheek as you gave one slow grind of your hips, “you poor, poor thing. Is it too much? Too good? Or do you just love being inside me that much?”
“I—I love it,” he sobbed, eyes squeezed shut, “feels so fucking good, I can’t—fuck, please—”
“Shh,” you kissed the corner of his mouth, then licked the salt off his tears, “don’t cry too much, baby. You’re supposed to be my good boy, remember?”
“I am! I’m trying—” he cried, the desperation in his voice sending a shiver through your entire body.
“Trying?” You repeated with a cruel little smile, hips starting to roll with a deliberate rhythm, “you don’t have to try, sweet thing, you’re made for this—to cry under me, to take it all, to whimper when I ride you like you’re just my favorite little fucktoy.”
Jake whined, wrecked by now, his hands finally twitching up to your hips but still not gripping—like he didn’t dare hold too tight.
“Please, I need it,” he begged, tears soaking down his temples now, dripping into his hairline. “Please say it, please say it again.”
You leaned down, mouth brushing the shell of his ear, your words like honey, yet something that was enough to destroy him, “good fucking boy.”
The sob that tore out of his throat nearly broke you, such a pretty boy, crying and moaning just to be called a good boy? You loved it.
“Oh fuck,” you moaned, grinding faster now, your pace building, “you like that? Like it when I ride you and tell you how pathetic and pretty you are, crying like a bitch in heat? Just for me?”
“Yes,” he gasped, “yes, yes—yes, I love it, I love—” he cried out, couldn’t form words.
“Oh, baby,” you giggled, hand tangling in his hair to yank his head back, exposing that flushed, trembling throat, “you don’t even know what love is. You’re just pussy drunk, huh? All that cum fried your lil’ puppy brain.”
Jake whined like he agreed, hips jerking up into yours now, matching your pace with helpless little thrusts, his cries louder and wetter the more you bounced on him.
His eyes glazed over completely, mouth hanging open, drool glistening on his plush bottom lip, and it was too much. He looked ruined, sobbing, moaning, barely breathing at this point, letting his cock be used like it was never his to begin with.
“Fuck, Jake,” you gasped, grinding deep, “you’re so good for me, such a good boy—look at you, crying while I ride your cock. You love it, don’t you? You love being used like this.”
“I love you—fuck—I love it, I love your pussy, I can’t, please! Please, I’m gonna—”
You slapped his cheek lightly, making his eyes snap wide open as you rode him harder, “you wanna cum again, baby?”
He nodded, frantic, tears still sliding down his cheeks.
“You wanna cum like a good puppy while I use you, huh?”
“Yes,” he screamed, hips jerking up hard, “yes, yes, please, please!”
“Then fucking cry for me, Jakey,” you moaned, grinding down hard, your clit rubbing against his body perfectly, “show me how much you need it. Show me how pathetic you are for me.”
And that’s what he did—he fell apart beneath you with a sob that echoed through the room, body shuddering like he’d been waiting for this since ages, his warm cum flooded you again, cock pulsing wildly as he whimpered through the orgasm, tears streaming down both cheeks now, lips trembling.
However, you didn’t stop, you kept rolling your hips, squeezing around him, grinding through his second orgasm, letting the overstimulation destroy what was left of him. He was hiccuping now, crying into your chest, moaning your name like a sweet little puppy.
“That’s it, baby,” you whispered sweetly, kissing the top of his head, “you’re such a good boy. Look how pretty you cry for me.”
Jake just sobbed, clinging to you like he never wanted to be let go, and you just smiled, not having it in you to stop. You wished to break him again, and again, all over again.
Until he would be just a broken, obedient little puppy for you.

THANK YOU FOR READING!
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LO$ER LOVER | PSH

pairing: loser!sunghoon x roommate fem!reader
wc: 1110 words.
warning: 18+ content, minors dni! loser hoon headcanons, gooner hoon, mentions of him being a pervert.
a/n: hihii! this is honestly js filth! requested by anonnie <3 all likes, comments, reblogs are highly appreciated <3

loser!sunghoon who blushes furiously each time you walk into the kitchen in your skimpy tank top with no bra, averting his gaze before he gets hard at the mere glimpse of the outline of your body—perfectly sculpted just for him.
loser!sunghoon who starts gooning by accident. it begins with your insta, then your videos/tiktoks, then a few of your pics he saves to a secret folder—the pictures he took without you noticing. then it spirals as he opens porn, saved videos consisting of the girls who resemble you in some way. he edges for hours while listening to your laugh through the wall, and doesn’t even realize it’s three in the morning already.
loser!sunghoon who recorded your moans through the wall one night, and now? he keeps them on loop while gooning. eyes glassy, tongue out like a puppy. he doesn’t even touch himself anymore—just rubs your used panties on his face while humping the bed, whispering “thank you, ugh, i love you so much, i love you, i—” like he’s praying for you to listen to him.
loser!sunghoon who starts stuffing his underwear with your used panties when he goes to bed. can’t sleep without them anymore, the scent of your pussy on his cock, the soft lace clinging desperately to his skin—he wakes up rutting into them, making these helpless little gasps like a fucking dog in heat. he doesn’t stop, just buries his face in your used clothes, tears streaming as he goons through the shame. “fuck, i wanna live in her cunt,” he mumbled, “wanna be her toy, her cumrag, her fucking pet—please, god please.”
loser!sunghoon who loses the ability to cum without you. he tries, oh he really fucking tries to finish one night with just cheap porn, and nothing happens. he panics, gasping and opens your selfies. he plays that recording of your moans and starts drooling instantly, exploding the very next second with a choked whimper, body twitching, cum splattering across his keyboard. he doesn’t even clean it up. just lets it dry while he thanks you out loud for letting him be lewd each passing day.
loser!sunghoon who needs your approval like he needs air. he tries on outfits, fixes his hair, practices his laugh in hopes you’ll look at him for more than three seconds. and when you do? when you say, “you look cute today, hoonie,” he goes stiff, hard instantly, and smiles through the ache in his cock like he’s not going to fall apart in the shower later.
loser!sunghoon who starts showing off how ruined he is, walking around shirtless when he knows he has hickeys he gave himself. leaves his door slightly open while moaning your name into your hoodie. he wants you to catch him, wants you to walk in and say, “fucking hell? you’re disgusting.” and wants to say “i know,” while making a mess on the floor.
loser!sunghoon who loves movie nights because you always let him cuddle you, he acts like it’s innocent, just a shy, affectionate roomie thing to do, gasping at the jump scares, squeezing your waist, but every time you shift, your tits press against his arm, and when you finally doze off, head on his chest, he slowly moves his hand down to your bare thigh, just resting it there, biting his lip, humping your blanket gently to not wake you up, sniffing your scent to practically cum untouched.
loser!sunghoon who gets bold enough to “accidentally” walk in while you’re changing, and he doesn’t even try to pretend he’s not looking, his glasses are slipping, his mouth is open as he gasps, and he stares at your tits like he’s seen god.“s—sorry! sorry i, oh fuck—” he stumbles out of the room, nearly tripping, and finishes in the hallway seconds later, cum soaking through his boxers while he pants, “i saw her—i fucking saw how pretty she is.”
loser!sunghoon who fakes being sick just to sleep beside you, eyes watery and cheeks flushed from running hot water over his face, practically torturing himself for pleasure—he sniffles and clutches his blanket like he’s the most fragile being ever, moaning softly when you touch his forehead, and nearly cums when you whisper, “you poor baby,” before tucking him into your bed again and staying with him.
loser!sunghoon who has to set goon timers otherwise he’ll spend hours and hours edging to your photos—his phone blaring alarms while he’s red and flushed, half-naked, sobbing over his laptop with your sweet videos paused at the perfect frame, whimpering, “just one more hour, just one more, gosh please, i’ll be s—so good.”
loser!sunghoon who starts using your body like his fucking altar when you’re asleep, or so he thinks, but you know how much of a perverted loser he is—sucking gently on your nipple under the covers, whimpering against it with glassy eyes, humping the mattress in tiny movements while crying, “i love you—i love you, i’m sorry, i can’t stop—please don’t wake up.” he mumbles and you let him do it, because you’re just as depraved.
loser!sunghoon who confesses when thinks you’re asleep. you’re curled up on his bed again, still wearing next your oversized shirt, and you accidentally shift in your sleep and grind your ass against his crotch, and he moans. he starts whispering as his voice cracks, “i’m sorry—i can’t stop thinking about you! i dream about your pussy every night, i touched your panties—i came in them—i came from your smell—” his hands are shaking, his cock is harder than ever, and he’s not even trying to grind on you anymore—he’s just so desperate he can’t hold it in, not knowing that you’re awake and listening, “hoonie?” you ask, and he starts crying like a baby.
loser!sunghoon who sobs into your chest after getting caught, his hands clutching your waist like you’re going to vanish, stuttering out, “i didn’t mean to—i’m so fucked up, i just—i love you, i love your body, i would die for you,” and when you pull his head down to your tits and whisper, chuckling, “oh baby, i know,” he whimpers so hard his whole body shakes.
loser!sunghoon who cums untouched just from simple the act of licking you, too ruined to even last, spilling all over himself while you stroke his hair and tell him he’s such a good puppy for eating you out so fucking well—he keeps crying, shaking between your legs, but doesn’t stop licking, doesn’t even flinch, just shakes through the aftershocks of the best orgasm he’s ever had, and keeps on worshipping you.

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THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY 𖤐 [trailer]

One summer. 4 boys. Follow Y/N as she navigates her first heartbreak, first love, friendship and forbidden romance. (Or, before parting ways, y/n and her sister decide to have one last summer together. With her best friend since diapers, her sister's boyfriend, her sister's boyfriend's brother, and your best friend's older brother--the boy she's been in love with since forever, there's really no way this could go wrong. Right?)
ᢉ𐭩 acts i | acts ii | release date: tbd (soon)
word count → trailer wc: 741 | full fic: tbd starring → heeseung lee as the sister's boyfriend, jongseong park as heeseung lee's younger brother, sunghoon park as the first love and jake's older brother, and jaeyun sim as childhood best friend, side characters from other groups tags → tsitp au, slice of life (ish), love squares, trope galore, smut, angst, jealousy, some fluff, rivalry, sexual tension, yearning/pining (always) rating → 18+ a/n → i've been wanting to write this since the first season came out but never got around to it, so what better time than now! i had a wip i was working on as well, and decided instead of the og idea it'd be perfect to start this one! i know many people are waiting for parts of my other works, but this has been rotting inside my brain for so long hehe.. so excited to write this one :3 cr. to yanalee for the hyungline picture! taglist → open! pls send ask or reply to be added to the taglist for this (if u r not alrdy on my perm taglist) fic playlist here! | back to my masterlist
♪ 'cause i took so much time to reset my life, but in just one look, i'm back, now all i remember is what we had nobody, nobody, nobody compares to you somebody, somebody please help me get over you
Every summer since you can remember, there’s been a tradition.
It started with your family’s beach house, somewhere a couple hours away. Every summer, your family and your mom’s best friend’s family stayed there together, making memories—a tradition your mom and her best friend didn’t want to die out.
For the first couple of years, it was just you, your sister—Yunjin, your best friend Jake, and his older brother. You can’t even remember meeting Jake. Your parents are best friends which made you two best friends automatically, so in hindsight, you’ve been friends since birth.
Jake was born first, a fact he makes sure to hold over you at any given moment, but it doesn’t really make a difference. “Thirty seconds doesn’t mean anything!” You’d say. “I came out first, suck it!” He’d reply.
Jake is also Yunjin’s best friend, obviously, but deep down, Jake was your best friend first. You guys are closer, anyways, ever since Yunjin and H—pause. We’ll get to this later.
Anyways, there was a point in your life where you absolutely hated Yunjin. It’s a rite of passage to sisterhood, you think. You hate each other until you don’t, and then it brings you closer together. You don’t really remember how or when it started, all you remember is that’s just how it was. Maybe it was the fact that she was way more popular than you and had too many friends that weren’t you, but you were also eight and she was nine, so it must’ve been something stupid and petty.
You can’t even remember why, but you both laugh about it from time to time.
Even so, you, Yunjin, and Jake were always stuck together like glue. You spent almost every waking moment together. From being sisters and best friends to being seatmates at school, all of your memories are painted with Yunjin and Jake right beside you. Their parents used to even joke about Jake and Yunjin getting married and growing old together. Yunjin would roll her eyes, Jake would laugh, and Jake’s older brother would tease them without end.
Ah, Jake’s older brother. How could you forget to mention him?
Sunghoon Park is… you don’t think there are enough words to describe him. Although ninety-nine-percent of your memories were made with Yunjin and Jake, the one-percent that will always stand out the most to you are the ones you’ve made with Sunghoon.
During the small period of time that you drifted from Yunjin out of spite and pettiness, you found yourself finding solstice in Sunghoon. You’d always thought that Sunghoon was the coolest person you’d ever met. Jake thought Sunghoon was a huge loser, but you felt like you saw through the whole cold-hearted, chic vibe he tried to give off.
That was all crushed the day you realized that the adoration you felt was actually a big, huge crush.
You liked Sunghoon years before you even knew what a crush was, only realizing it two years into middle school. You remember it like it was yesterday: a hot summer day, Sunghoon smiling at you a certain way while passing you a glass of crisp, ice water, and the feeling that erupted like an explosive damn volcano in your stomach.
You finally understood what your classmates were saying when they talked about crushes and butterflies.
From then on, the four of them were as follows: you and Yunjin, your older sister. Jake, yours and Yunjin’s childhood best friend. And Sunghoon, Jake’s untouchable, cool older brother who you will forever be in love with.
There are no secrets too big or small between you, Jake and Yunjin, but this feeling is something that you wanted to keep to yourself. A small, curious and self-indulgent garden of flowers in your heart that you wanted to tend to alone for once.
You had thought that this was just a harmless infatuation. You never planned to actually do anything about it in fear of rejection and losing Jake, but from spending time with Sunghoon in your younger years to growing up beside the Park siblings, you had been hopelessly falling in love.
Looking back now, you wish you had fallen in love with anyone else. Either way, anything would’ve hurt less than this.
Wait, you haven’t even gotten to the rest of the story yet. Well, buckle in, because there’s two more boys you haven’t mentioned yet and a whole summer ahead of you—and it’s going to be one hell of a ride.
© all rights reserved to chamisulgrape. pls do not translate or repost elsewhere.
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Never seen something so real 🥹






ill eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner! ill eat it as a snack, ill eat it between meals, ill eat it when i’m full, ill eat it when i’m starving, ill eating during summer, ill eat it during winter, ill eat it during spring, ill eat it during autumn, ill eat it asleep, ill eat it while eating it, ill eat it while i’m dying, ill simply eat it every second of every day forever
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sorry i hope i'm not overwhelming you with requests, i just have so many ideas😭 please take your time!
anyway, i'm thinking ab camping with enha and pegging jay in a tent while everyone's sleeping. and you have to make him stay quiet <3
-🍓
Camping (p.j.s)
warning: fingering, pegging, nipple teasing, public, fluff, and let me know if there’s more
word count: 1,341


After a long road trip you finally arrive at the camp site. It’s a hot summer day and you have been driving to get there for a couple of hours and you feel all tired already.
"okay guys i know we’re tired right now but we need to build the tents before the sun sets" heeseung says while carrying his bags and walking towards the site.
You and your close friendgroup that consists of heeseung, jay, jake, jungwon and you decided to go camping. Sunoo, sunghoon and niki decided to join you a day later because they were busy today.
You all walk towards the campsite and set up the tents for a good hour.
"finally!! i’m so fucking tired i’m going to take a shower and sleep right after" jake says and walks towards the public showers available on site.
"wait i’m going too" jay says while quickly taking his bag with clean clothes and shower products.
You decide to help heeseung build a campfire to be in the camping spirit. Just a couple of minutes after you start helping, you notice jake and jay walking back from the showers. You almost gasp at the sight. Jay is wearing the tinniest shorts, you can see the outline of his private parts.
"y/n i see you’re finally being useful" jake playfully said which took you out of your admiration trance. Jay noticed you looking at him with you eyes filled with lust but he just ignored it.
2 hours later and you’re all sitting down around the fire sharing some stories and talking about anything. Your chair is right next to jays chair and you’re both covered with a blanket because of the evening breeze. You try to put your hand on his lap when you’re interrupted.
"let’s play truth or dare" jungwon says excited. Everyone agrees to play. He grabs one of the bottles one of you finished drinking and starts spinning it around. And obviously it lands on you.
Jungwon has a huge smile and looks at you. "truth or dare" he says impatiently.
You sight wondering why you’re the one that has to go first. "truth i guess" you say.
"when did you start liking jay" he quickly ask and his question makes you look at jay who’s blushing hard as if he knew jungwon was going to ask you that.
"well i liked him the day i met him but unfortunately for me i had to try very hard for him to notice i did" you say while softly pushing jay and he giggles in response.
"get a room goddamn" heeseung says under his breath. Which makes you give him a cold look "don’t be jealous asshole" jay quickly says.
The sun long gone you all enjoy your time together. "well i’m going to bed i’m too tired to stay up any second longer" jungwon says and walks towards his tent. Heeseung also goes to his tent and Jake joins him since they share a tent.
You and jay stay a little longer. "you know i’ve liked you since day one too" he suddenly says. You didn’t know that at all he was one to hide his feelings pretty well. "no way!" you say in disbelief.
"yes i actually wanted to confess to you for months but you did it first" he giggles again. You decide to stand up and hold his pull his arm for him to follow you. You both enter your tent and turn on the little night lamp on the floor. You lay down and jay lays next to you for him to be the little spoon.
"honestly this road trip exhausted me i think i’ll sleep until the pms tomorrow". He says while adjusting himself in the sleeping bag.
You feel his ass rubbing against you and you place your hand on it slowly caressing it. "y/n stop it" he says with a smile trying to remove your hand. "we can’t do anything here its too risky" he says.
"who said i wanted to do anything? i didn’t know my boyfriend was that much of a pervert" you say to tease him which makes him blush.
Before he can reply you start caressing his body softly and since he’s wearing thin material it’s easy for him to feel everything as if he was naked. His breathing starts getting slightly louder so you continue what you’re doing.
"why did you wear such tight clothes did you want me to touch you in front of everyone" you say while caressing his back with your fingertips. He shivers in response. "no, no i just" he stops mid sentence when he feels you touch his nipple.
“y/n more please” he softly moans out. “take off your clothes” you say and he does it immediately. He lags back down but is now facing you.
When he lays down you grab his face and leave soft pecks on his face only to aggressively start kissing him the second after. Both of your tongues are moving in harmony and your saliva is getting everywhere but you love it.
After you’re both out of breath you let go of him face and sit up to grab your bag. You take out your strap on and a bottle of lube. “omg i didn’t know you packed this” he says with a blush.
I’m always prepared to fuck you” you reply while grabbing his hips to put him on all fours. When he’s positioned like that you start coating your fingers with lube.
“spread your cheeks for me” so he grabs them and spreads his hole for you to see. “how pretty” you say and put lube all over it.
You quickly turn off the lamp because people could see your shadows and wonder what’s going on inside. Then you put one of your fingers inside him. “fuck i’ve been waiting for this” he loudly moans so you give him a slap on the ass. “don’t be so loud people could hear us” you say.
You start fingering him for him to get used it. After a while you put a second finger in.
“y/n please more” he softly moans this time. You don’t listen and continue to finger him some more. “you’re already begging when all i did was finger you” you say and you can feel him clench around you. “i guess you like being my little slut since your pussy is gaping” you say.
After a lot of moaning and begging you finally put the strap on and insert the tip in. He moans very loudly and starts thanking you.
“thank you y/n please fuck me” he says. So you go as deep as possible until your hips meet his ass. You stay still for him to adjust to the size.
Before you decide to move he suddenly starts fucking himself on the strap on. He’s a moaning mess but his movements start to get sloppy and slow. When he decides to stop moving you grab him by the hips and quickly thrust into him which makes him let out a series of high pitched moans. You already know people around you can hear you but you don’t care anymore.
While you fuck him he grabs his dick and starts milking it. “y/n deeper, deeper, deeper,” he groans out. Obviously you listen and go deeper like he asked.
His moans are getting louder and louder until he suddenly stops so you know he’s having his orgasm and cumming.
When he’s done you softly pull out of him and remove the strap. He turns around and gives you a couple of kisses. “you fuck me so well” he says and lays down.
“You take me so well” you say before laying down and dozing off.
The next day you get out of your tent only to see Jake sitting outside and giving you a dirty look.
“where is Jay” he says obviously knowing what happened last night.
“shut up Jake” and you walk towards the public showers to take one. You know he’s going to mention what happened everyday after this.
ANON THANKS FOR THIS REQUEST!! I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS. i did not proofread but i’ll probably do it later since i’m exhausted right now but i hope this is fun!!!
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OMG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH ITS SO SWEET 😭😭
i’d choose you, every time. [jay]

⸻
PAIRINGS: rich!jay x soft spoken!reader
GENRE: slight angst, fluff, cheesy and toe curling moments (reader is soft spoken)
WORD COUNT: 1k
SYNOPSIS: jay's always giving—but you just want to be held. one honest conversation leads to a moment of tears, tender kisses, and a man who finally understands how to love you.
⸻
Ever since Jay asked you out three months ago, your life had taken on this dreamy, surreal quality. Not because he was perfect—though to you, he might as well be—but because he had this habit of doing the most extravagant things for you.
Handwritten letters tucked in your bag? Adorable.
But then pairing them with a brand-new designer bag? Unnecessary.
Candle-light dinners? Romantic.
But having them at a private rooftop restaurant he rented out? A bit much.
You appreciated everything.
You really did.
But with every new gift, your heart grew a little heavier.
“Princess, look what I got you,” Jay grinned as he entered your apartment one evening, holding up a velvet jewelry box like a trophy.
You sighed softly, setting your phone down and rising from the couch.
“Jay…”
He raised a brow. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? You don’t like surprises anymore?”
You walked up to him, heart pounding. This wasn’t how you wanted the night to go.
“It’s not that I don’t like them,” you said gently, resting your hand on his chest. “It’s just… you don’t have to keep doing this. All the gifts and stuff.”
Jay blinked, confusion flickering across his face. “What do you mean?.”
“I mean, I love being with you. I love you, baby. Not your credit card.”
He laughed, unsure. “I know that..”
“Do you, though?” You bit your lip. “Because every week there’s something new. A necklace. That bracelet. The perfume. The shoes. And don’t even get me started on that custom hoodie with our initials embroidered on it.”
He smirked, rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay, yeah, maybe I went a little overboard with that one…”
You gave him a tiny smile. “I know you’re just trying to make me happy. And I love that about you. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to spend money to keep me.”
His smile faltered. “So… you’re saying you don’t want me to buy you things anymore?”
“No, I’m saying you don’t need to. I feel guilty sometimes, Jay. Like I can’t match it. I don’t want this to turn into some weird… imbalance.”
He pulled away slightly, jaw tightening. “Wow. Okay.”
“Jay…”
“No, it’s fine,” he said quickly. “I thought I was doing something nice. My bad.”
Your heart sank. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” He crossed his arms, suddenly distant.
“I was just trying to spoil my girl. That’s all. You think it’s about me buying your love?”
You stepped closer, placing both hands on his cheeks. “No, baby. That’s not what I meant. I know you love me. I feel it every day, not because of the gifts, but because of how you talk to me. How you listen. How you hold me when I’ve had a bad day. That means more to me than any fancy thing you could buy.”
Jay looked down, his voice softening. “Then why does it feel like you’re rejecting me?”
Your chest ached. “I’m not rejecting you, sweetheart. I just want you to know I love you as you are. Not what you give me. I’d still love you even if all we had was each other and takeout on the floor.”
He was quiet for a moment. Then, with a small sigh, he rested his forehead against yours.
“I guess I just wanted to give you the world,” he murmured. “You deserve that.”
“You are the world to me,” you whispered.
His lips quirked into a soft smile. “You’re so cheesy.”
“You love it,” you teased, poking his side.
“I really do,” he chuckled, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. “Okay, okay. I’ll chill with the gifts.”
“Thank you, baby.”
“But just so you know,” he said, pressing a kiss to your hair, “you can’t stop me from writing you love letters.”
You giggled. “That’s totally allowed. In fact, I require them now.”
Jay grinned. “You drive a hard bargain, princess.”
“Damn right I do.”
He pulled back, his eyes sparkling with something softer now—understanding. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to earn my love back somehow. That was never the point.”
“I know, sweetheart. I know your heart. That’s why I had to say something.”
He leaned in and kissed you—slow and reassuring, a silent promise tucked into the spaces between your breaths.
“You mean everything to me,” he whispered.
“And you to me,” you said, fingers curling into his shirt. “Now let’s go order some cheap greasy takeout and cuddle like the broke couple we truly are.”
Jay laughed, the tension finally melting off his shoulders. “God, I love you.”
You grinned, pulling him toward the couch. “Then prove it—by letting me steal all your fries.”
“You’re lucky you’re cute, baby.”
“And you’re lucky you have me, sugarplum.”
Jay gave you a look. “Sugarplum?”
“It’s a thing now,” you said, already curled up under the blanket. “Deal with it.”
He rolled his eyes fondly, plopping down beside you. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Your ridiculous sugarplum.”
He didn’t argue with that.
⸻
Hope you enjoyed!
Let me know if you want a part 2 (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
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ˋ 𑁍 ⨾ THE DOLLMAKER



you were sunghoon’s muse, his flawless, perfect wife that he dresses in frilly dresses and makes sure you always looked like the idealized woman. that much was evident from all the dolls he made of you that sat proudly throughout your home. but, when sunghoon isn’t there, the dolls move and show you things that would otherwise be hidden in the shadows. one day, they show you something so frightening, something completely sinister that you force yourself to believe that it isn’t real. your beloved husband wouldn’t do something like that, would he? you weren’t so sure about your answer anymore.
❛ 박성훈 𝑥 𝑓!reader ❜ 𓈒𓈒 ❨ 歌 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ❩ 𝖾𝗌𝗍𝖺𝖻𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖾𝖽 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉, 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍𝗒 & 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆𝖾𝗌, 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍, 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝗁𝗎𝗌𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 & 𝖽𝗈𝗅𝗅𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾𝗋!𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗇, 𝗀𝗈𝗍𝗁𝗂𝖼 𝗏𝗂𝖻𝖾𝗌, 𝗌𝗎𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖺𝗅 𝖾𝗅𝖾𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌 ✴︎ 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙠 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩, 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙮 𝙙𝙪𝙗𝙘𝙤𝙣, 𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘯𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘴, 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘦 𝘭𝘮𝘢𝘰, 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘺 𝘨𝘢𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘴𝘰𝘧𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘮!𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘯, 𝘶𝘯𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘹, 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱, 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘴𝘦𝘹 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘴𝘦𝘹 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘧𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘹 (𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦), 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘫𝘰𝘣, 𝘤𝘶𝘮𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴, 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢, 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢, 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘭 (𝘧. 𝘳𝘦𝘤), 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦, 𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 (𝘮𝘺 ��𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘭), 𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 (𝘮. 𝘳𝘦𝘤), 𝘤𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱, 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧 𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺, 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦, 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𓏸 14,8OO ╱ 𝓶. list
( 𝓷 )。 went a bit insane writing this because why is the smut scene alone 5.4k words??? but it’s finally here!! my first post on my new blog (that’s not part of a series) and my first darker content fic!! this was really fun to write and opened a primal lust within me for sunghoon that made me crazier… hehe enjoy loves!!
͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ REBLOGS ◜◡◝ FEEDBACK APPRECIATED!
You always strived to be nothing short of perfect, and you were immensely proud at the fact that you have never strayed from the path of the idealized woman in the eyes of their beholder.
And you were perfect. The perfect person, the perfect woman, the perfect wife. It was what you were born and bred to be, and with a smile you lived your life knowing that not a single frizzy strand of hair was out of place nor was there a single wrinkle in your dress. You were pretty, pristine, perfect. You’d ask for nothing more.
But, as the days started to pass—and your husband was out later and later for work—you started to hate the idea of perfection. You clawed at it like a noose wrapped around your pretty throat. Gone were the days where you’d be set alight with how well you presented yourself—with how much your husband loved to stare at you. These days, you just wanted to be.
In the beginning, you loved to be under Sunghoon’s watchful eye. You loved how he’d dress you in perfectly fitting clothes suited to what he loved to see you in—frills and lace. Loved how he’d fluff your hair if it was too flat or if it wasn’t up to his standard, or smooth down the fabric of your dress. You loved when he treated you like his perfect little doll. It meant the world to you, especially when it came from such an expert dollmaker like your husband himself. In his eyes, it meant you were the best of the best, that no other doll that he has made could compare—his perfect creation.
Now, the more you think about it, the more your throat closes up. But, as much as you’re growing to hate the idea, you just can’t let go of the deeply rooted perfectionism you still strive for. It’s as if it’s embedded in your skin, as if it’s in the marrow of your bones and in the blood that pumps through your veins. You don’t know how to live a life that isn't perfect, and at this point, you’re too scared to find out what that life entails.
So you put on the dress Sunghoon lays out for you before work and you style your hair just the way he likes it—and you be perfect. Because that is all you know how to do.
You stare at yourself in the mirror in your bathroom, your brows knitted together. Confusion spread throughout your body as you tried to put a name to what you were feeling. Disgust, maybe? Hatred? You didn’t know. Sighing softly to yourself, you picked up your makeup brush and dusted more of the blush onto your cheeks.
Sunghoon had already left for work, so it didn’t even really matter what you looked like right now. You stepped out of the bathroom and into your bedroom. Dolls of various sizes greeted your sight. Some had intricate and realistic outfits, the same ones that you wore, and some of them were more plainly dressed. There were dolls everywhere in your home, even some perched on the open shelves of your kitchen. It was a little girl’s dream home. The most unsettling thing about all the dolls around you no matter where you turned was how much every single one of them resembled you in some way.
It was as if Sunghoon could never quite capture your likeness exactly. With some dolls, their eyes were too big, their lips were too small, or the arch of their brow wasn’t quite right. Sometimes he couldn’t accurately carve the curve of your nose. You knew it drove him mad, not being able to immortalize you in his craft.
“You’re too flawless,” Sunghoon had told you once. You were laying in bed together and the tips of his fingers trailed along your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. He used to always give you goosebumps, the good ones. Now it feels more like a chill down your spine.
You stared up at him from your pillow and watched as his eyes devoured your frame. His fingers twitched, briefly stopping their descent back down your arm, and you could tell he had the urge to test his hand at making you again. “I don’t think I’m flawless,” you smile at him, “I’m just as flawed as everyone else—just as human.”
Sunghoon’s gaze flicked up to your face, specifically to your smile, like he was committing it all to memory. He moved the hand that was trialing your shoulder up to cup your cheek. His thumb gently caressed the soft skin before he grazed it along your lips. There was a certain glint in Sunghoon’s eyes that you knew all too well.
“You’re flawless to me,” he stated. His thumb brushed along your bottom lip and pulled it down a little. You watched as his pupils dilated and the mix of lust and fascination that swirled in them grew. Ever so slightly, his eyes widened, too. Sunghoon moved his thumb down to your chin before leaning down to press his lips to yours.
He captured them with a certain roughness—the type that always shocked you with how gentle it initially seemed. Sunghoon’s hand grabbed your chin harder, his fingers creating soft indents into your skin as he leaned your head back and further into the pillow.
You were so moldable for Sunghoon, a shiny lump of clay ready for his skilled hands to turn you into a masterpiece. He hummed into the kiss and his teeth delicately bit down into the flesh of your bottom lip, only enough to not leave a mark. You moaned into his mouth, your arms raising to wrap around his neck in an attempt to pull him closer. In response, Sunghoon pulled his lips away from yours. He pressed feather light kisses to your cheek and up to the shell of your ear. “You’re my muse,” he whispered, before his head dipped to the crook of your neck to leave kisses there too.
You suppose that being so perfect wasn’t so bad if it meant that Sunghoon couldn’t keep his hands off of you—if it meant that he couldn't keep his hands off of his tools to try and remake you over and over again. Perhaps you were viewing it all wrong. Maybe it wasn’t a noose around your throat, but a pretty handmade necklace crafted by his nimble fingers. If it meant that Sunghoon never leaves, then you could be as perfect as he wanted forever. If it meant that he looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing he ever laid his eyes on, then you would be his doll for as long as you lived.
Maybe it wasn’t perfectionism at all, but an act of complete devotion—an act of love.
Sunghoon left open-mouthed kisses along your chest and moved further and further down until the lace of your lingerie blocked his lips from your skin. He pulled away from you fully and looked down at it like he was offended. You squirmed beneath him, your chest heaving as you tried to take in any air that you possibly could. “Please,” you inhaled, looking up at him desperately.
You weren’t quite sure what you were begging for exactly; maybe for his lips to be back on your skin, or maybe for him to quell the heat radiating from your body. “Please,” you said again, your voice coming out quieter and more forlorn.
Sunghoon ran his hands underneath the sheer fabric at your stomach and you gasped at his touch. “So soft,” he sighed contently, hands trailing further up until they physically couldn’t anymore and were blocked by the lace at your breasts. His calloused hands were a stark contrast to your velvety skin and the slight roughness made you shiver.
He pushed the sheer fabric up your stomach with the movement of his hands until the bottom half of your body was completely bare under him. Sunghoon must’ve decided that he couldn’t wait any longer, couldn’t bear to take the extra second to lift the lingerie over your head, because the harsh sound of fabric ripping filled your ears and the swift coldness of sudden exposure had you gasping again.
Sunghoon tossed the tattered fabric somewhere off to the side next to the two of you and in the corner of your eye you saw it fall to the floor below. His hands surged upwards, no longer bound by the restraints of your lingerie, and grabbed your breasts. Sunghoon’s thumbs rubbed against your hardened nipples and you arched your back off the mattress to give him more access. His hands dropped down to your thighs and he pushed them towards your stomach as he spread them further apart.
Sunghoon’s breath hitched when his eyes finally got a look at your glistening pussy, completely on display for him. His hand then moved from the back of your thigh and he dragged his fingers through your folds, collecting the slick on his fingertips. “Perfect,” Sunghoon breathed out.
Your husband liked to dissect things. He liked to break things apart and put them back together all shiny and new. It’s what he did to you every night—left you in a heap before cleaning you off and making you new again. You didn’t care, you just liked the feeling of his hands on you, even if its intention was to destroy. You knew that it was just a morbid curiosity. As long as he remained by your side, you were content in being a pile of doll parts for him to play with as he pleased.
In your bedroom, your eyes landed on a doll that wasn’t there when you had stepped into the bathroom. It sat in the center of your bed, dressed in the same lingerie that Sunghoon had ripped up. It didn’t look at you, but at the entrance of the room, with the hint of a smile that you knew was carved into the doll but couldn’t help but feel was mocking.
No matter how often it happened, you’ll never get used to the fact that the dolls moved around on their own. It only happened when you were home alone. The dolls never dared to move when their maker was home, but you still felt their eyes on you nonetheless. You had told Sunghoon about it—the two of you even waited around to see if one of them would move, but they never did. It was extremely frustrating.
You sighed at the doll and straightened your back. Leaving said doll where it was without a word, you left your room to put a start to your day.
What you weren't expecting was even more moved dolls in your kitchen. You stopped in your tracks as different, mini, and almost identical versions of you stared directly at you from the kitchen table in a circle. Usually it was only one doll that moved here and there, but this many moved dolls in the span of minutes was completely odd. Cautiously, you stalked towards them to see what they were surrounding.
It was the TV remote. You scoffed.
You grabbed the remote with a roll of your eyes. Aiming it towards the tiny box TV in the kitchen, you clicked it on and placed the remote back down onto the table next to the dolls. You let whatever channel it was left on play in the background as you started making breakfast for yourself.
“We’re here with the mother of one of those young girls today. Can you tell us a little about your daughter, ma’am?” you heard the news reporter ask. You took a pan out from under the lower cabinet and placed it onto the stove, ticking on the heat. You watched as a flame ignited, quick and large as lightning, before calming to something smaller.
A grief stricken voice filled your ears next between your soft humming. You didn’t realize that it was the tune Sunghoon always hummed when working from home—something he didn’t do as often anymore. “She was the most beautiful girl in the world—the most gentle and kind. She loved everyone and she loved love. My daughter was the single spark in this bleak night. Please, if you know where she is, please let a mother know.”
You moved about the kitchen, ignoring the way the dolls’ eyes seemed to follow your every move. Cracking the egg, you let it fall into the pan with a sizzle, fanning away the sudden smoke that rises. “The news station also has an anonymous tip hotline open for anyone who may know any information. The search for the six missing girls is still on. This Friday, the mayor will hold another search party and encourages everyone who can to join.”
Turning to throw away the shell of the egg, you caught a glimpse of the TV. “This has been—” You gasped, the shell falling to the tile below with a soft crack as your hand flew to cover your mouth. On the small screen were the pictures of the six missing girls—six missing girls who all looked eerily alike to one another, eerily alike to you. You rushed forward towards the screen, desperately needing to get a closer look at the girls’ image.
Fear and panic prickled at your skin and clawed its way up your throat. What if you were next? What if whoever was taking these girls had their eye on you to take next? You glanced around the kitchen, the dolls suddenly gone from the kitchen table and perched back in their rightful places on various shelves. What if one day you stepped out of your home to run an errand only to be met with a cloth to your nose and mouth?
You began to tremble as you focused your attention back onto the TV. Did the police have anything on who was taking the girls? Any physical descriptions or perhaps a drawing? You waited for the news to mention anything else, but they didn’t.
Lightheaded, you felt yourself begin to spiral. Your hands grabbed tight to the kitchen counter as you tried to steady yourself and not let the fear cloud your mind. Maybe it was all a coincidence. Maybe you just happened to look like those girls but the perpetrator was after someone else. You inhaled sharply, trying to swallow down the fear and panic and let the oxygen get through instead.
The sudden loud ringing of the smoke alarm startled you and made you jump. The eggs. They were still on the stove! “Oh!” you breathed as you hurriedly moved to turn off the stove. You accidentally stepped on the egg shell in the process. “Oh no,” you said softly under your breath as you moved from the stove to the trash can. You scraped off the burnt eggs, your appetite suddenly gone. You sat the pan in the sink for you to wash later.
Bending down, you meticulously picked up the pieces of egg shells on the floor to throw away as well. When you turned from the trash, there was a singular doll back on the kitchen counter. You jumped again.
It pointed towards the hallway to get to your living room, unblinking. You stared at it for a moment—at yourself. Why were the dolls doing this? “Fine,” you say, smoothing out your dress, “I’ll play along.” You need a distraction from the missing girls anyhow.
You left the kitchen and made your way down the hallway that the doll pointed to. As you slowly made your way down it, you didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary besides the way the various dolls’ eyes followed you. You make the bend to the end of the hallway and freeze.
At the end of the hallway was the displayed dollhouse that you didn’t touch. Sunghoon didn’t even let you clean it, opting to clean it himself. It meant a lot to him and he took great care for it to be in as pristine condition as possible. The dollhouse was a perfect replica of your home, down to the welcome sign you weaved on the front of the door. You’ve never even seen the inside of it… until now.
There was a crowd of dolls on the ground below it, more than you’ve ever seen moved before, pointing up at the scene portrayed in it. Swallowing thickly, you stepped further forward as a chill ran down your back.
In the dollhouse were only three dolls: one of you, one of Sunghoon, and one that you couldn’t even begin to understand what it could be. You took another cautious step forward, leaning in to get a better look and taking care to not step on any of the dolls. The scene depicted in the dollhouse was quite simple. You were upstairs in you and Sunghoon bedroom, asleep. Sunghoon was in some room you’ve never seen before, carving away at a doll that you could only assume was of you. Behind him was the other doll, covered in different, mismatched layers of fabric. It was so covered by copious amounts of fabric that it didn’t even seem to have the body of a doll anymore. It was almost grotesque looking, in a way.
Very quietly, almost indistinct, you heard the same melody Sunghoon hums when working. Your eyes widened in shock as you furiously tried to digest and decipher the scene. You shook your head a little. “I don’t understand,” you say, the confusion dripping from your voice. “What does this mean? What is that behind him?”
There was a creaking behind you and you swung around at the sound. More dolls were behind you, pointing. You weren’t sure if they were pointing at you or the dollhouse. Maybe it was both. You swung back around to the dollhouse when you heard something move.
Now Sunghoon was in front of the other fabric-covered doll. His doll was slightly bent at the torso and his head was tilted. The thin, wire-framed glasses he wears sat low on his nose bridge. You knew that look—that inspecting look. That morbid curiosity. It felt as if the dolls were screaming at you, “Do you understand now?” You still weren’t sure that you did. Too many puzzle pieces were missing from the board and it hindered you from seeing the whole picture. The sound of Sunghoon’s humming still filled your ears and you didn’t know what to do to stop it.
More creaking and you turned to look behind you. More dolls. They filled the entire hallway, their tiny fingers pointing at you, trying to force you to understand what they were trying to show you. Behind you, the dollhouse began to violently shake and you gasped as you looked at it. Sunghoon was now back in the bedroom with you. He stood over you, his hand hovering over your arm. You knew the action it was trying to convey—you could feel the tips of his fingers trailing up and down your actual arm now, making you shiver.
You stumbled backwards, even more confused and scared at the shaking dollhouse. The front of the dollhouse slammed shut, locking in the scene of you and Sunghoon inside, and stilled. Your chest rose and fell heavily and you clumsily stumbled your way out of the hallway and into the living room, avoiding any pointing doll that you could.
Later that day when Sunghoon came home from work, you didn’t mention the moving dolls or the dollhouse. It was as if nothing happened at all, every doll was where he placed them and the dollhouse was just as pristine as he left it. You especially didn’t dare mention the scenes depicted in the dollhouse. You feared your husband would think you were crazy.
You carried the plate of hot food to where Sunghoon sat at the kitchen table. “Eat up!” you smiled placing the plate in front of him before placing a chaste kiss to his cheek. You felt him smile before you pulled away. You were turning to make yourself a plate when Sunghoon grabbed your wrist to stop you. You jumped, a gasp slipping between your lips. Trying to cover it all up, you turned back to Sunghoon with a smile.
His own smile faltered and his thick brows drew together. “Thank you, darling…” he trailed, the words falling from his lips one by one. “What’s wrong? You’re never so jumpy.”
You’d been jumpy since he got home, still shaken from the morning’s encounter. It was so bad that you nearly burnt yourself on the stove while making dinner, suddenly startled by the sound of the front door opening and Sunghoon returning home from work. When he kissed you hello, his arms coming to wrap around you, you jumped then too. You tried to distract him with your smile, but you should’ve known that nothing gets past your husband.
“It’s nothing,” you say, smiling again and giving him a slight shake of your head. “I guess my body is just getting used to not being by itself now that you’re home.”
Sunghoon sighed and pulled you back towards him by your wrist. You let yourself be pulled into his lap. Sunghoon buried his head in the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry,” he says, his words coming out muffled. “I know I've been working more and more lately and I haven’t had much time for you.”
You leaned into his touch, sighing contentedly. “Can’t you work from home?” you asked meekly, voice barely louder than a whisper, “Like you used to? You work so much and you’re always gone. I miss you when you’re not here, and in return I’m sad the whole day.”
Sunghoon’s black hair tickled you as he lifted his head to press his lips to your neck, right where the thumping of your heart could be felt. His eyes met yours and the gentle pout of your lips. “I don’t have all the tools here that I do at the shop,” Sunghoon responded. When you sighed again and looked away, he continued. “But, I might be able to work from here tomorrow… I already finished most of the workload. We can spend tomorrow together, what do you say to that?”
You glanced back at him, trying to not let the happiness you felt break through your sulky demeanor. Clearly, it didn’t work, because the smile returned back to Sunghoon’s face even larger this time. “I suppose that’s okay,” you grumbled, the smile tugging more at your lips by the second.
Sunghoon chuckled, “Yeah?” You nodded, giggling at the way he dragged his nose along your cheek and the coldness of his glasses. “I love that sound,” he says, holding you closer. “I want to hear it forever.” He pulled away from you just enough to get a good look at your flustered face. Sunghoon brought his lips to yours, capturing them in a sweet and slow kiss.
Giggling more into the kiss, you broke away from him with great effort. “Eat,” you say, standing to your feet. Sunghoon didn’t let you get far. “We have a big day tomorrow.”
“Your dinner smells amazing, my love, but I think I want something else on the menu,” Sunghoon replies. You swatted him with the kitchen towel hanging from the pocket of your apron, your mouth falling into an open-mouthed laugh. Sunghoon just laughed more. “Do what I said,” you scolded him.
Sunghoon pulled you down to chastely kiss your lips. “Yes, ma’am.”
That night as you were getting ready for bed, you gathered all the courage you had. As you moved about your bedroom, Sunghoon watched you from the bed, his eyes trailing your figure and never leaving it. He was lounged up against the bed frame, his head tilted and the wire frames of his glasses low on his nose bridge as he stared. You were in the middle of brushing your hair, trying your best not to get crushed underneath his heavy stare. You were as bare as you could be without taking your clothes off.
When you stood from your vanity, the flowy fabric of your short nightgown moving with you, you met his gaze. For a moment, neither of you spoke and you just stared at each other. “Those missing girls…” you started, finally finding your voice, “on the news… Isn’t it odd that they favor me?” Your voice shook slightly and you swallowed down the lump forming in your throat.
Sunghoon sat up straighter, his eyes still on you as his brows drew together. You looked away, shakily climbing into the bed next to him. “I-I mean… how they favor each other. And I favor them too, don’t you think?” you continue. You really hoped that you didn’t sound crazy. That your time alone in the house hasn’t started to drive you mad and see things that aren’t there—that aren’t true. Finally getting settled as the words poured from your mouth, you looked over to him. For a split second, his face was completely devoid of anything—no emotion, not even a quirk of his eyebrow, nothing. Then, in a blink of an eye, his face was how it was before you looked away from him. Maybe you were crazy after all.
“I’m scared, Sunghoon,” you said in the gentlest whisper, “What if I’m next?”
“Missing girls?” Sunghoon says, “I’ve heard about them. But, don’t worry—” he reached over to caress your cheek “—I won’t let anyone hurt you. You’re safe here, with me.” His hand on your cheek trailed down to the crook of your neck and then to your shoulder before he pulled you towards him. The two of you laid down onto the bed and Sunghoon enveloped you completely in his arms. You rested your head on his chest and listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. “No one but me will ever touch you,” Sunghoon muttered against your hair.
His comforting words did nothing to dispose of the uneasy feeling you still harbored. The images of those missing girls were burned into your mind and every time you tried to close your eyes and sleep, you saw them staring back at you. While Sunghoon fell fast asleep, him still keeping you protectively in his arms, you lied awake.
Your mind shifted from the missing girls, to the moving dolls, and to the dollhouse. What did it all mean? What were they trying to tell you? You went over the scenes portrayed over and over and over again and still didn’t get it. The answer seemed so close, but so far away at the same time. What were you missing?
You thought about the scene of Sunghoon standing over you while you slept. Did he always do that, stare at you like that? How often did he do it? You wanted to ask him, but you didn’t want to risk him thinking there was something wrong with you—didn’t want to risk him thinking that you weren’t flawless like he believes. And the way he trailed his fingers over the soft skin of your arm… Perhaps it was just him checking on you. Maybe he left the room for some water and when he came back he was making sure you were okay. Yeah, that sounded logical.
Him touching you wasn’t something new—he always touched you at any chance that he could. Always admiring every curve and plane of you completely, it’s normal for him to do so. The tension in your shoulders finally dissipated and you relaxed, snuggling more into Sunghoon as you let your tired eyes flutter closed. You didn’t know what the dolls’ game was, but you didn’t like it. Sunghoon was just being a good husband, is all. It even showed subconsciously in the way his hold on you tightened as you leaned into him. He loves you. He’d never do anything that came remotely close to hurting you, ever. You were more sure about that than you were sure about anything in the entire world.
Slowly, you began to drift off—your body getting heavier and heavier in his arms—and you let sleep overtake you.
A couple hours later, you were suddenly awoken by the sound of something falling onto the hardwood floor. You jumped, eyes flying open. You were met with the cold bed, Sunghoon nowhere to be found in your bedroom. Sitting up, you looked around the room to see what fell.
You sighed as your gaze landed on the doll, it was laying on its side on the ground, staring at you. “Enough,” you said lowly, another sigh pulling from deep within you. “I don’t know what you all want from me.”
The moonlight peeked into your bedroom through the curtains and gave a little light to see with in the dark. You slipped from the bed, deciding to see where Sunghoon was. Smoothing down your bedridden hair and wrinkly nightgown, you opened the door to your bedroom and was immediately met with another mini doll version of you waiting by the top of the stairs. You couldn’t keep doing this.
You passed the shelves on the wall filled with dolls of you and other trinkets as you made your way towards the stairs. You didn’t even give the doll a second look as you made your descent down them.
Sunghoon wasn’t in the kitchen either, but there was another doll there, pointing down the hall again. You tilted your head up at it and followed its directions. He wasn’t in the lounge room or the dining room either. You turned the corner in the hallway and your eyes landed on the closed dollhouse. It was backlit by the hallway sconce, the light making the dollhouse look illuminated.
You dipped into the living room and Sunghoon wasn’t there either. None of the bathrooms were occupied as well. You were convinced that he just wasn’t in the house at all. You stood in front of the dollhouse, annoyance coming off you like steam. Your arms were folded across your chest and you glared at it. It was closed this time, and you were deciding on whether it was not to play into the dolls’ game and open it or just go back to sleep and question Sunghoon in the morning. Alas, you were too curious for your own good.
You slowly opened the front of the dollhouse, expecting to see some confusing scene waiting for you inside. Instead, there was only one doll inside—the grotesque looking one covered in different scraps of fabric. It was in the same exact place that it was in earlier, except this time there was no doll of Sunghoon inspecting it. It was alone.
Taking a closer look, you tried to figure out where this mystery room supposedly was in your home. In the dollhouse, it was located between the living room and the hallway bathroom. You looked at the hallway you were currently standing in with its own mini dollhouse inside. Your brows knitted together in even more confusion. According to the dollhouse, the room should be right where you were standing.
That couldn’t be right, unless the room was in front of you and behind the wall where the dollhouse was displayed. Closing the front of the dollhouse, you moved closer to the wall, inspecting it. There was no outline of a suspected door, no uneven floorboards that could suggest the entrance was underneath you. There was only the hallway, the small bookshelf filled with your cookbooks and Sunghoon’s doll making books, and the dollhouse. You placed your ear against the wall; maybe if there was a room behind it you could hear something.
After a few moments, you almost gave up, deciding not to play the game anymore and just go to bed. But, right when you were about to lift your ear from the wall, you heard something—humming.
It was the same tune you hummed earlier, the same tune Sunghoon hums when working. The same tune Sunghoon hummed when the dolls showed you him working in the dollhouse. This time, you knew it was real. You stumbled backwards from the wall, your elbow knocking the doll over that was suddenly perched there. You gasped before quickly covering your mouth.
Frozen in fear, you swear you heard the humming abruptly stop. You then heard slight creaking, like someone was walking towards you. Scurrying back around the curve of the hallway, you peaked around it to see if anything else would happen.
What if Sunghoon wasn’t even in there. What if it was some stranger living in your walls, and you were just assuming that it was him—that the dolls thought it was him. Or, maybe they were trying to warn you of the stranger in a way that they knew you would listen. What if Sunghoon wasn’t in the house at all right now? Your hand pressed harder into the wall and you began to shake.
More creaking broke through the air, and you watched as the small bookshelf slowly began to push off the wall like a make-shift door. You ducked further behind the wall, just enough to ensure you weren’t seen. You saw a shadow dancing across the floor as the bookshelf slowly closed again.
You were so scared they could hear how fast your heart was beating. So sure that they could feel how hard you trembled through the floor. Hear your heavy breathing like a hawk listening for its prey.
The shadow got larger and you saw a figure start to be illuminated by the light on the wall. A hand reached from the shadows and towards the doll of you that had fallen over—Sunghoon’s hand. He stepped into the light and you could finally see him clearly; saw the way the warm light bounced off his skin, the way the light reflected off his glasses, and how his dark hair fell into his eyes. You pressed your fist to your mouth to keep quiet.
Why did Sunghoon have a secret room in the house? Why did he never tell you about it?
He fixed the doll; shifting its dress so it laid properly and flattened its messed up hair. You saw the corners of his mouth raise as he placed the doll back on the shelf above the dollhouse. It’s big eyes bored into you.
Without a sound, you made your way back to your bedroom as quickly as you could. You closed your bedroom door silently and slipped back into bed, willing your body to stop shaking and your breath to even out. You closed your eyes.
You tried to remember what the inside of the secret room looked like from the dollhouse. From what you could remember, it looked to be some sort of workshop, similar to the one Sunghoon would have at the shop. If it was just a simple place for him to carve dolls, why hide it? It was possible he kept it hidden so you wouldn’t worry about how much he was working. Sunghoon knew how much you disliked him getting obsessed with his work, always carving and shaping dolls until the tips of his fingers were scarred. You relaxed again.
You’d be upset and worried, yes, but he didn’t have to hide it from you. You would understand his dedication to his craft.
A couple moments later, you heard the door knob twist. As you heard Sunghoon’s footsteps near you, you hoped you looked like you were still asleep. His presence covered you like a blanket. Just before you could feel the heat of his fingertips on your skin, you turned to look at him.
With false sleepiness in your voice, you ask, “Why are you out of bed?”
Sunghoon smiled down at you, lightly shaking his head. His hand caressed your shoulder, “Don’t worry about it, my love. I was just getting a jumpstart on work so we could have more time together. Go back to sleep.” His voice was soft and gentle, like he was trying to lull you back to sleep with his voice alone.
You sat up more. “Well, I’m not tired anymore,” you say, a smile pulling at your lips. Sunghoon’s hand at your shoulder raised to smooth your hair before coming to your chin to lift it up. He leaned forward and delicately pressed a kiss to your lips. “No?” he asked in that same soft and gentle voice.
Sunghoon was already climbing on the bed and on top of you before finishing his question. He placed more delicate kisses around the edges of your mouth, his hands dipping lower. You shook your head. His hands slowly lifted your nightgown up your stomach. “You’re sure you aren’t tired anymore?” Sunghoon asked, the corner of his mouth raising ever so slightly. He was lifting the nightgown over your head so you were in nothing but your panties underneath him.
Light giggles left your mouth as you shook your head again, “Yes.”
Sunghoon’s fingers hooked underneath the hem of your panties and he slowly pulled them down your thighs. His eyes were completely focused on the way each tug revealed more and more of your cunt and how it glistened with the strips of moonlight coming through the window. You heard him exhale softly, like he couldn’t believe what he was witnessing. “Fuck…” he muttered lowly, “I don’t think I’ll ever get use to seeing this, and it’s all for me to admire.”
He fully pulled your panties off and tossed them somewhere to the side of the bed. Sunghoon spread your legs open and pushed them up towards your chest so he got an even clearer view—just like he always did before taking you apart. He moved his hands so they splayed out on the back of your thighs right near your pussy he was still admiring. You squirmed a little, the air suddenly cold on your skin and from laying there completely open for him as you waited. “Entirely,” you said hushed, looking up at him. His glasses reflected the moonlight and covered the look in his eyes. “It will always be all for you—I’ll always be all, entirely yours.”
You gasped, body jolting when a thumb was pressed into your eager cunt. Sunghoon ran his thumb along your folds, collecting the gathering slick that was forming by the second. Bringing his other thumb to your cunt, he spread you apart even more, like he wanted to watch the arousal drip out of you himself. A soft whine left your lips. You were completely naked and under your husband’s watchful eye while Sunghoon was still completely dressed. He hasn’t even pulled his pajama pants down despite the way you saw him strain against the thin fabric.
“Is that so?” Sunghoon asked, his gaze finally flicking up to you. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards and you inhaled sharply when you finally saw that all too familiar dark look in his eyes. It reminded you of the way people dissected animals, excited to see its insides and how the body worked. Just beneath it you saw his intensely desperate, fiery hot need for you. The two expressions folded on top of each other over and over like an endless piece of paper, like he couldn’t decide what made him more excited. But, you knew which one would win tonight—which one always won.
You nodded slowly at his question. After all, no matter how bitter the idea of perfection tasted in your mouth, it was nothing compared to the sweetness of your husband’s love. It overshadowed everything, clouded your mind until you could think of nothing else. You lived for it, you’d do anything for it—to keep it. And Sunghoon, he loved you for it. So, the cycle continued until you forgot what the bitter aftertaste even belonged to.
Was it so wrong for you to love the suffocating attention he gave you once he wasn’t busy? Maybe. Maybe you should feel some shame for how obsessed you were with Sunghoon. But, at least you knew the feeling was mutual. If it weren’t, you wouldn’t be surrounded by a house full of dolls that looked nearly identical to you made all by his hands. Right? Doll making was a labor of love, and Sunghoon never shied away from showing you how much he loved you.
Sunghoon leaned over you. You felt his arms brush against your thighs as he pushed his soft pajama pants down. His face hovered over yours and you stared at him with big, doe eyes. His lips brushed against yours, pulling away slightly when you tried to chase them. Sunghoon tossed his pants and boxers to the side and you felt his cock slap against your thigh, sending a wave of arousal throughout your entire body. The entire time, Sunghoon’s eyes never left yours. “Like my own, personal little doll,” he continued, his voice low. “The real thing, not any of these flawed imitations. Complete perfection, and all under my hands to do with as I see fit.”
His lips captured yours in an unexpectedly rough, hungry kiss. He moved further over you until his body shadowed you. His hands were on either side of your head as he pinned you to the bed with his body, the kiss deepening and growing hungrier. Sunghoon pulled away from you, lips plumped and wet with saliva that still connected his lips to yours. He tenderly caressed your cheek and asked, “Do you know how much I love you?”
With his other hand, Sunghoon grabbed his cock so he could line himself up with your entrance. He quirked a thick eyebrow as he waited for your answer, eyes trailing the way your chest rose and fell heavily and your breasts pushed more against his own chest. “How much,” he continued, slowly slipping the tip of his cock inside you, “I’d do for you? How I’d do anything?” Your mouth fell open as your back arched slightly at the action. Sunghoon’s gaze returned to you, his hips halting once his thick tip was completely inside you. “Do you?” Sunghoon asked you once again, his heavy gaze weighing down on you.
Your husband liked to dissect things. He liked to break things apart and put them back together all shiny and new. It’s what he couldn’t help but do to you every night. It was the only time he liked you to be messy, when you were laying in a heap of doll parts beneath him. He tried to be gentle with his curiosity, he really did, but it was as if something overtook him. That dark look in his eyes got bolder until he couldn’t hold himself back—until he just had to tear you apart. You used to be scared every time it happened, still not learning to expect it. You should be ashamed that you did let it happen. But, as time went on, you began to like being taken apart; began liking how each time you’d blink away the fog, you were more perfect in his eyes.
Nodding, you inhaled deeply. “I do,” you say quietly, meeting his swirling dark stare. “And I love you just as much. I’d do just as much.”
“No,” Sunghoon spoke plainly. You drew your brows together, confused. “The way I love you, it’s… cavernous. Deep and dark—pitch-black. There is no end, no beginning, it just is.” His hand trailed down to your chin. “It consumes me, my love for you. I can’t control it… I can’t control the things I’d do to ensure you’ll always love me. And you will… won’t you? Always love me?” Sunghoon asked, his eyes boring into yours.
“Yes,” you say meekly. Despite the way Sunghoon’s body blocked the little light in the room, you could still see the way he fought the darkness inside of him. “I’ll forever love you. There’s nothing that would ever change that, Sunghoon. I promise.”
Sunghoon’s body relaxed over you, and his eyes briefly fluttered shut as he shakily breathed in to further calm himself. “Good…” he muttered, his voice barely loud enough for you to hear despite him being so close. “Because sometimes… The thought of you no longer loving me… i-it drives me completely insane.” His grip on your chin tightened and he bent down to sloppily kiss your lips. Sunghoon’s lips slowly worked against yours, like he was using you to calm himself even more. Like he was basking in your love for him like you did with his love for you.
He pulled away, just enough that with each word from his mouth, his lips brushed against yours. “It makes me want to rip you limb from limb. Polish all the parts so you can see it—see how much my love for you breaks me apart.” With a harsh thrust, Sunghoon pushed himself into you completely. You cried out, the sound being muffled by his lips so close to yours. Your nails dug into his shoulders at the action. Sunghoon pulled out of you until just the fat tip of his cock remained inside. With each word, he thrusted into you. “My sweet love, my perfect wife, my doll.”
Loud gasps rang from your mouth and Sunghoon took your hands from his shoulders and pinned them above your head with one of his own. His eyes never once left yours. He wanted to see how you cracked and shattered beneath him. He wanted to witness it. Sunghoon trailed his other hand down the side of your face, his thumb running over the soft skin of your cheek before it moved closer to your mouth. His eyes shined when he dipped his thumb into your mouth and you eagerly swirled your tongue around it, his own mouth opening. Sunghoon’s pace slowed as if he was remembering himself. The languid strokes drove you crazy and your hips lifted off the bed to gain more friction.
It was a constant back and forth of back to back harsh thrusts that felt like it was splitting you open to slow, sweet thrusts that had you begging for more. With your arms pinned about you, you couldn’t even really move besides the slight lift of your hips, and they could only lift so high with how close Sunghoon pressed himself into you. He had complete control over you; over how you moved, how deeply and at what pace you felt him, and over what sounds you made with his thumb in your mouth. Your eyes began to get glassy with how much you wanted him.
You guessed that you liked being used—liked being his toy, his plaything. You guessed that you liked feeling desired, feeling like his doll. You glanced around your bedroom, back arching and loud, unashamed moans falling from your lips at the way Sunghoon fucked you. It felt as if every single doll was looking at you, watching you. Watched you succumb to your husband and watched as the cracks in your porcelain body began to crumble. Watched how you loved every second of it. How wet it made you to the point that Sunghoon was slipping in and out of you with ease and how the vulgar gushing sounds bounced off the walls.
Sunghoon’s pace slowed and he watched how his cock slowly disappeared into you before he slowly pulled it back out and examined how it dripped with your arousal. A soft chuckle left his parted lips as he did it over and over. You clawed at his arm still holding yours above your head, a loud whine came from the bottom of your throat and your body shifted in any way that it could to feel him deeper, to have his cock drag against your walls faster.
He replaced his wet thumb with his mouth, completely silencing your moans and whines. Sunghoon’s mouth worked slowly against yours once again, soft groans vibrating against your lips as he kissed you.
“You feel so good,” Sunghoon whined, barely able to get his words out before his lips were back on yours. He let out another moan, his shallow strokes growing quicker. “Taking everything I give you so well, my love. It’s like your body was made for mine.” Sunghoon finally let go of your arms, giving your body some space as his lips traveled down to your chest. He left wet kisses all over it, teasingly kissing around your perked nipples while you dragged your hands through his hair and pulled at the tips of the strands. Everytime his lips touched your skin it felt like white-hot coals were being placed on you where they touched. Sunghoon looked up at you over the rim of his glasses, lips pressed to your skin with a hint of a smile. “Do you feel good, darling?”
Sunghoon’s hips picked up speed, just barely, but enough to make your head spin wildly. His pace was agonizing and you were sure your frustration showed in how you tugged harder at his hair and pulled his head back and the way your hips pathetically raised to meet his. Sunghoon’s mouth opened and he let out a laugh. “Please,” you begged him, your eyes filled with unfallen tears, “please.”
He sat up, lips brushing against your skin one last time before he pulled away. Sunghoon pushed down on your hips with his hands to stop them from moving, his own still continuing at that agonizing pace. “Please, what?” he asked, head tilted to the side as he watched you squirm beneath him and claw at the bedsheets. “What are you begging me to do to you?”
You whined when his hands moved up to your waist and sent tingles throughout your body. Through your blurry, tear-filled eyes you could see his smile. Pitiful moans escaped your mouth and your chest rose and fell so heavily you would’ve thought you weren’t breathing at all—instead trying to gasp in gulps of breath. “Please,” you begged again. Sunghoon inhaled sharply at the way you clenched down on him, at how your whiny moans filled his ears and the way the corners of your eyes flooded with tears. He halted his movements and pulled out of you completely.
“No, no, no!” you cried and leaned up to reach for him. He pushed you back down to the bed gently. Sunghoon’s own breathing picked up as his wet cock hovered over you. He took one of your hands in his and guided it towards it. “I’ll continue once you can tell me—” his breath hitched once your hand wrapped around his thick length “—what you want.” Sunghoon guided your hand up and down his cock slowly, his hand tightening on top of yours so you squeezed him more. His breath shuddered as he watched your hand work, his stomach tightening every time your hand squeezed his mushroom tip. He moaned again at how easily your hand slipped over him from your arousal, and his moans grew louder when he’d move his hips to force your hand back down his length again and again.
“Tell me…” he breathed out, his eyes fluttering closed, once you still didn’t give him an answer. Sunghoon’s hands laid flat against the back of your thighs—right next to where you needed him the most.
“I… I-I want you…” you stuttered out, voice small. Sunghoon hummed in question, bringing his thumb to your clit. He rubbed circles into it at the same speed he moved his hips. You gasped, back involuntarily arching off the bed. Your hand paused mid-stroke of his cock before his hips rutting against it stirred you back into action. “Closer…” Sunghoon says through a grunt, “but, I’m going to need more than that from you, my love. Don’t you want to be good for me and do what I asked?”
A soft whine left his lips when you squeezed a little too much at the base of his cock. “I want to hear those pretty moans of yours as I fuck you with my cock… see your pretty face as you cum around it. Won’t you give that to me? Do you really want to settle for my fingers tonight, darling?” Sunghoon continued.
How could you tell him what you really wanted? Explain the deepest desire that you had right now? He told you about his inner battle with how much his love for you consumes him. He told you the things that it made him want to do. You wanted him to let go and do it. You wanted him to wipe you clean so you watched it all—saw it all. Enough with holding back—like he tried to do every single night without fail. It was no use when you both knew what was coming. You wanted him to lose control. You wanted that swirling darkness in his eyes to take over. You wanted him to do what he said he wanted to do if you didn’t feel the same way he felt about you. How do you express that to him?
“Do it…” you say, your words coming out strained. A sweet moan left your mouth and you looked him dead in the eyes as the tears finally slid down your hot cheeks. “I w-want you… to do it.” Your voice was just above a whisper, loud enough that only his ears could hear your words despite being the only two people in the entire house. You squeezed down onto his thick cock more as your wrist worked harder. The hand he wasn’t using to rub circles into your puffy clit grabbed your thigh tighter, his fingers surely leaving indents into the plush skin. Sunghoon’s head hung lowly as he tore his gaze away from yours and went back to watching your hand.
Sunghoon plunged two fingers deep inside your dripping entrance and you felt like you could finally feel the oxygen reach your lungs. He pushed them in and out of you, his gaze flicking over to his movements instead of yours to relish in the way his fingers came back out more and more wet. As his fingers curled inside you, causing breathy moans to leave your willing lips, you watched the way his stomach tensed and his hips faltered. Without saying a word, you could tell what was running through his mind right now. You could see his eyes grow more and more darker, fill up more and more with desire. Sunghoon finally looked back up at you, his wire-framed glasses low on his nose bridge. “Do what?” he asks, his voice just as quiet as yours was.
You didn’t have to say anything else. Sunghoon’s hips froze and his stomach tightened even more as a pretty moan ripped straight through him. His eyes fluttered shut, his fingering waned and you lifted your hips to chase his hand. Sunghoon’s warm cum shot all over your stomach and splattered up to your breasts in thick spurts. He let out another moan, this one dragging out from deep within him as his body finally relaxed. You helped him through it all—hand never stopping as he rode out his high and marked more of your stomach with his cum until you were painted a creamy white and he was completely empty.
His eyes blinked open and he looked down at how messy you were. Something in his demeanor shifted as his eyes grazed over you and you couldn’t tell what had changed until he looked at you. You inhaled sharply at his stare, your breathing picking up. His own chest still heaved from his recent release. Sunghoon took his wet fingers out from your cunt, taking a moment to drag them through your folds to spread your arousal even more, all while his eyes never left yours. Gone were the barriers that held him back, that darkness took him over full force.
Meek whimpers escaped your lips and you dug your nails into the bedsheet beneath you. “You like being my doll, don’t you?” Sunghoon asks. His voice was almost flat, and he was still speaking in that hushed tone. His expression was decidedly blank except for the subtle way his brows drew together. “Don’t you?” he asked a little louder when you didn’t answer him. His hands squeezed the back of your thighs and his fingers dug into the soft skin there. You timidly nodded, not daring to look away.
His hands relaxed and his thumbs brushed over where his fingers dug into you comfortingly, his eyes finally leaving yours. Sunghoon grabbed his cock and rubbed his flushed tip in between your folds, the wet sounds it made piercing the silent bedroom. “You know,” he starts, his voice no longer so low, “you really are truly flawless, doll. My muse…”
Sunghoon is already slipping back inside you before you can process the way his thick cock completely stretches you open. You cry out as more unshed tears fall from your eyes. He continues, “It angers me how much I can’t capture you fully. How none of these dolls can compare to the real thing—the real you. It makes me… so angry…”
He’s pulling back his hips as he speaks, the tip of his cock just barely leaving your pussy, before he roughly thrusts his cock back inside of you. Another loud moan emits from you and your vision blurs from more tears as your face gets hot. You could barely hear Sunghoon’s wry laugh over the sudden ringing in your ears.
Sunghoon’s pace is brutal, and you’re suddenly regretting whining so much about how slow he was once going. It gave you whiplash, how fast he fucked into you, and the only thing you could do to keep yourself grounded is tightly wrap your hands around his wrists at your hips. Your arms smeared and got sticky with his cum but you didn’t care. With each thrust, your body shook and pushed you further into the mattress. With your iron-clad grip on Sunghoon’s wrists, your tits pushed together and bounced in accordance with his hips against yours. Sunghoon was fucking you like he wanted to break you in half.
“S-Slo—” you tried to speak but was cut off by the waves of sudden pleasure hitting you one after the other. Sunghoon just shushed you, his hands pulling your hips towards his so you’d feel him deeper. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you couldn’t think about anything other than the way he was making you feel so, so good. You wanted to feel this way forever. Wanted him to stay lost so you never escaped this feeling of immense pleasure. Wanted him to use you to take out his anger at himself—at you—like you meant absolutely nothing, just a doll for him to handle and put back in its place.
You adore it, the way he makes you feel.
Such nasty sounds fill the air, but neither of you could bring yourselves to care about it. If anything, it turned you on more just how loud and demanding to be heard it was. With how much the sounds of the sex the two of you were having penetrated your ears, you would’ve thought that you’d be getting multiple noise complaints at any moment. You both definitely weren’t trying to be quiet in the slightest.
Between your moans, you heard Sunghoon speak. “I want to take you apart, carve into you like I do my dolls, but this time make something real. Have you be so perfect forever.” His voice was almost scarily plain, like he thought this over time and time again before. You blinked away tears and finally got a clear view of him and the way he stared down at you with a hint of a smile, head tilted as he watched you crack and begin to fall into yourself. “Forever my perfect little doll, to bend—” he pushed your knees closer to your chest so you were practically folded in half “—and to break—” he roughly thrusted into you once more, his hint of a smile growing into a smirk as you clenched down on him “—and to put back together and play with as I please.”
“Sunghoon,” you sobbed as your stomach tightened and you started to shake. You didn’t get the chance to get another word out before you were violently orgasming, your cum pouring out of you and leaving a white ring around the base of Sunghoon’s cock as he roughly fucked it back into you. Wet, gushing sounds came from his cock plowing into your pussy and your cum poured out from around him and down the curve of your ass. You could scream at the sudden overstimulation.
“That’s my girl,” Sunghoon says as he watched you shatter. He used your hands still limply wrapped around his wrists to pull you up off the bed and halfway into his lap, his cock still buried within you. One of his hands supported your back and the other came to wipe the tears from your cheeks. “Pretty dolls don’t cry.”
Sunghoon brought your hands to his shoulders and you held tightly onto the soft fabric of his shirt. His own hands dragged down the expanse of your stomach and he wrapped one of his arms around your back. Sunghoon lowered his head so he could look you in your eyes, his free hand lifting your chin to raise your head more. “I love you,” he murmured, pausing a beat to make sure you heard him, before roughly moving his lips against yours and cutting off one of your watery whines.
Your hands moved from Sunghoon’s shoulders to wrap around his neck and pull him closer to you. You deepened the kiss, letting Sunghoon open your mouth so his tongue could slip in and dance with yours. You’d give anything to keep his lips on yours forever.
Sunghoon began to thrust into you again, his hips moving slow at first before they rapidly picked up pace. You moaned against his lips, your eyes squeezing shut. You felt Sunghoon’s lips pull into a smile, “I love you so much.” He said it like it was a confession.
Head falling into the crook of his neck, you cling to him tighter with your last remaining strength and whimper into his warm skin. Your body shook all over until it felt like you might explode. It felt like Sunghoon kept repeatedly turning and turning the winding key in your back, going way beyond the motor’s limitations. It made you nervous for when he would let go and you would burst into action.
His deep moans and grunts rang in your ear and his arm around your back tightened. With his other hand, he pulled you back so he could look at you. Your face was tear-streaked, splotchy with drying tears and you tried to not cry even more. Your brows were knitted together from the overstimulation and whimpers fell from your lips. Sunghoon’s cum stuck to your stomach and your forearms and parts of his shirt, your own cum covered your pussy and Sunghoon’s cock. You were a mess.
Over and over, three words came from Sunghoon’s lips like a mantra as he filled you up with his cum to the brim and past that too. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I—”
Finally, silence rang through the air besides both of your heavy breathing. After another moment, your body finally stilled. The silence was so thick that you felt like you couldn’t move at all. Delicately, like he held the shards of you in his hands, Sunghoon laid you back down onto the bed. He pressed feather-light kisses to your jaw and cheeks before they finally landed on your lips.
You were so overwhelmed with emotions and feelings that you couldn’t feel anything at all. Your head was still foggy and your only penetrating thoughts swirled around him. Despite your eyes being wide open, your vision was cloudy.
Sunghoon kissed you again. “Stay here,” he says, pushing away from you. Your arms fell to your sides limply. He leaned back and pulled his cock out of you, eyes shining with adoration at the way yours and his mixed cum spilled out and dirtied the bedsheets. Sunghoon rubbed the tip of his cock through it a couple times, ignoring how you squirmed and whined. “Absolute perfection,” he said under his breath before standing to his feet.
You laid there on the bed, still spread open and a mess of cum, as your eyes went in and out of focus. When the clouds in your vision did part, all you saw were all of the dolls and how they stared at you. Sunghoon came back a couple moments later, his face coming into focus as the moonlight bounced off his glasses. He climbed over you and began cleaning you up.
You were barely aware of the way he meticulously made sure every nook and cranny was polished nor how he moved you to put new bedsheets on the bed. Your mind didn’t start to come back to you until he was pulling you over him and sitting you onto his cock. You came alive at his hands trailing the expanse of your body before landing on your hips. You moaned quietly, your gaze dripping to look down at him. The darkness in his eyes was not quite all the way gone.
Sunghoon brought you down to lay on his chest. “I could fuck you all night…” he trails and his voice vibrates throughout your whole body as he shallowly thrusts up into you, “and into the morning, too.” His hips stilled and instead his fingers caressed your back. “But then we wouldn’t have the full day together, would we, my love?”
You shook your head slightly and Sunghoon wrapped an arm possessively over you before pulling the blankets overtop of you both, his other arm caging you against him completely. As the moonlight filtered through the window of your bedroom, the two of you slowly fell asleep.
In the morning, you were awoken by kisses on your neck and your pussy fluttering around Sunghoon’s slow strokes. He lifted your leg into the air and you turned your body towards the warmth at your back, blinking away sleep. You hummed, a soft whine pulling from your throat as you looked at him.
His glasses were off, which let you know that it hadn’t been long since he woke up himself. Sunghoon leaned down to press his lips to yours, his cock still dragging at a snail’s pace against your walls. “Are you sore?” he asks, pulling away from your lips to kiss your shoulder.
You nodded. Him still inside you, lazily fucking into you felt good, but you couldn’t ignore the way he stretched you open and the deep soreness that came from it. “A little,” you say.
Sunghoon turned you onto your back so you laid beneath him and he pulled out of you completely. “I’m sorry, my love,” he says and his lips meet yours again. “Let me make you feel better.”
He kissed your lips once more and started trailing kisses down to your jaw and along the length of your neck. Sunghoon looked up at you through the strands of his black hair, kissing lower down your body to your breasts, his hands massaging them as he kissed at your perked nipples. Soft moans left you at his touch.
His kisses spread to your stomach, to your hips, and finally right above where you were already wet for him. He spread your legs open more. “I’ll be gentle,” Sunghoon says, placing a kiss to your clit before his tongue poked out to lap at your entrance.
Without Sunghoon around, the idea of perfection was bitter on your tongue—acidic in your chest. But, when your beloved husband was around, finally in your arms again, you understood why people strive for it. You love it.
If perfection was how Sunghoon saw you, then you’d forever be the most absolutely perfect person, woman, wife you could be.
Days pass and you are once again left alone in the vastness of your home. Sunghoon stood true to his word as best as he could, spending as much time with you when he didn’t have to work, but it still wasn’t enough. The house still felt empty, and the occasional early nights when he would come home didn’t help.
It felt like the early nights home he took came at a price. Most nights when he would finally walk through the front door, you were already asleep or close to it. He would wake you up with a kiss and a content sigh. It made your chest ache even more than it already did when he is away.
You were in the middle of washing the dishes, mind trailed off to someplace else as you idly let the sounds of the TV float around you. “The search for the six missing girls is still going strong. Police still has not found the perpetrator, but an interview earlier with the Chief says that they are very close to finding out who has taken these girls. Our anonymous tip hotline is still up and running for anyone who may have any valuable information on where these girls might be.”
The words brought you back to life, and you gasped quietly as you looked towards the tiny screen. You examined the bold numbers at the bottom of the screen. It reminded you of the secret room behind the dollhouse that you completely forgot about. You quickly finished the dishes, leaving them in the strainer to dry completely as you dried your wet hands.
Slowly, you took quiet steps towards the hallway where the dollhouse was displayed. You looked to the front door to ensure that it was still locked. Sunghoon could walk through it at any moment and you didn’t want him to know that you knew about his secret workshop before you had the chance to see what was inside.
You recalled the way the door to the room opened—the pushed opened small bookshelf that revealed the make-shift door. You tip-toed to the bookshelf, examining its sides and the books on it.
You didn’t really look at the books on the bookshelf besides your own cookbooks. Sunghoon’s doll making books were something you rarely touched, if at all. But, you took a hard look at those too, your fingers running over the spines. They all felt like books, the spines hard and sturdy, but something about them still felt off to you. You looked at Sunghoon’s books again, pulling each one out a little to take a peek at the covers.
In the middle of you pulling one of the books, you heard a quiet click and the bookshelf came loose from the wall. You took a step back, shock showing all over your face. Gently, you grabbed the side of the bookshelf and pulled.
The bookshelf creaked open and revealed an opening that you had to bend down a little to enter. When you stepped inside the surprisingly large room, your eyes did a sweep of what was inside. You froze, your stomach dropping as you stared at what was in front of you, absolutely horrified. You didn’t even really know what was in front of you… It looked like an amalgamation of various body parts, stitched and sewn into one. Its skin was weirdly shiny, almost like it was made of some kind of plastic or resin while still keeping its elasticity.
You disregarded the rest of the room, instead taking careful steps towards the strange creation in front of you. It didn’t look neither dead nor alive and that confused you even further—it barely looked human. Its eyes and lips were sewn shut and it was completely hairless. It was held up onto its feet by long strips of silk hanging from the ceiling that was tied around its naked body. Next to where it stood was a table with thick locks of hair tied with ribbons of your favorite color.
Maybe this was the final crack in your mind and it was crumbling completely, but it kind of looked like you too. Even the hair on the table matched yours perfectly. If you looked past all the stitches, the weird shiny skin, and the lack of hair, it almost seemed like you were looking in a mirror. It looked like an unfinished, life-sized doll of you. Your stomach turned in on itself.
The fear in you raised tenfold in you when it started to twitch. You took a couple steps back from it when it began to pull on its restraints a little. It seemed to start to panic and its shiny arms pulled at the restraints keeping it up even more as it tried to reach out to you. You jumped back more, fearful tears filling your eyes. Your mouth opened to speak, but no words would come out.
The uncanny creation tried to speak, though, before realizing that its mouth was sewn shut. When it began to frightfully hum—the sound off tune and terrifying—did your body start to feel heavy and limp. It pulled at its restraints with all the little strength it had as it reached out to you and began to hum wildly… it hummed Sunghoon’s melody, the one he hummed when he worked.
Realization hit you like a tsunami. Not only was you dear husband making dolls of you, but he was trying to make a real, life-sized human doll of you. And it seemed that every part of this surreal creation was taken from another until it resembled you as close as he could get it. Your mind flashed to those six missing girls—the six missing girls that all looked eerily similar to you. Despite having all the puzzle pieces right in front of you, your mind refused to see the whole picture.
You backed up further, the back of your thighs hitting the desk that was against the back wall near the make-shift door. You twisted towards it, chest heaving as you scanned the scattered papers and opened books. You picked up what looked to be a journal Sunghoon kept and read over the open page with trembling hands.
The entry remarked at how the experiment was working well and how none of the body parts were rejecting like they did before. He praises how the process was much smoother than last time, how the girls he chose were the perfect fit. The journal dropped from your hands.
Those girls going missing due to Sunghoon was no longer speculation. Your eyes snapped back to his “experiment.” It must be those poor girls, their bodies sewn into one to look like you. You still didn’t want to believe it.
Tears poured from your eyes as fear sunk its claws deep within you and forced its way down your throat and into your heart. Your entire world came crashing down around you and quiet sobs left your mouth as you fought against the idea that your husband wasn’t who he said he was—that he was a kidnapper, a killer.
You rushed forwards, your arms raised towards his creation before you wrapped them around yourself and remained a safe distance. “No!” you exclaimed as you rapidly shook your head. “No, this is all a misunderstanding—a mistake! Sunghoon wouldn’t do this… He isn’t that type of person!” You wiped at your eyes, almost believing your own words until you dropped your hands.
Dolls completely surrounded the peculiar creation—Sunghoon’s experiment. It was even more that the ones that surrounded you in the hallway when they were showing you the scene in the dollhouse. They all looked at you for a moment before slowly turning to look up at how the amalgamation of stolen girls thrashed towards you, still frantically humming.
The dollhouse.
It was a warning. Those scenes the dolls showed you… it was all a warning. This was what they were trying to tell you this entire time. This wasn’t just any ordinary experiment for Sunghoon, a dollmaker going completely mad in his craft—no. This experiment was for you. He was using these girls, tearing apart their bodies limb from limb and creating some freakish doll of them that was meant to be you. It was practice… He was doing all of this so he knew exactly what to do when he laid his tools down and cut into the real thing. You were next.
Sunghoon’s words rang in your ears and bounced around in your head: “I want to take you apart, carve into you like I do my dolls, but this time make something real. Have you be so perfect forever.” You finally understood it now.
Suddenly, all thrashing ceased and the humming finally abruptly stopped. The only thing that filled the silence was your muffled sobs. “I’m sorry,” you cried, unsure if it even heard you. “I’m so sorry.”
You stumbled towards the opening of the room and barely missed hitting your head on the way out. You didn’t even wait for the bookshelf to click back into place before rushing through the hallway and to the kitchen. For once in your entire life, you hoped that Sunghoon had a long night at work.
Nearly falling into the kitchen counter, you shakily grabbed the landline on the wall. Those bold numbers of the anonymous tip hotline flashed behind your eyes and you rushed to put in the numbers, putting the ringing phone to your ear. “This is the anonymous tip hotline for the six missing girls. Please only share useful tips that could help a breakthrough in the case. Do you have any information to share?”
Your breathing came out heavy and you tried to force the oxygen to reach your lungs, inhaling sharply as you tried to find your words. “I… I-I think my husband kidnapped those girls…” you breathed in a whisper. The woman on the other end of the line started talking, but your focus was abruptly taken when you heard another, more familiar voice behind you.
“Something scare you, darling?” Sunghoon asks, his voice gentle and filled with worry. You couldn’t tell if he was being genuine.
You jumped, pressing further into the kitchen counter as you spun in place, the phone leaving your ear. Sunghoon sat at the kitchen table, his thick brows knitted together. You didn’t even hear him come back home. Despite the landline being away from your ear, you still heard the woman on the other end asking you questions, frantically asking if you were still there. You were completely frozen.
Sunghoon rose to his feet and the stove light illuminated him. You saw him differently now. No longer was he your loving husband, he was something else. Still, you hated the way your heart soared when you locked eyes on him. How your body relaxed, even in the slightest. You hated how you felt complete now that he was here and how you wanted to run into his arms.
He crossed the short distance to you, his arms coming to rest against the counter on both sides of you. You inhaled shakily now that you and Sunghoon were face to face. Without his eyes leaving yours, Sunghoon took the phone from your quivering hand and hung it back up on the wall. His arm returned to its position next to you, completely caging you within his arms.
Sunghoon leaned his forehead against yours. “I thought I told you that you had nothing to be afraid of, not when I’m here.” His voice was still gentle—soft—and it was lowered as he moved one of his arms to take one of your shaky hands in his. You wanted to pull away from him and wrap your arms around him simultaneously. You felt exhausted.
You voice shook, “Y-You kidnapped those girls, didn’t you? Turned them into… into…” Sunghoon drew back to look at you, his head falling to the side as his brows pushed together. His confused look made you start to question if you had been imagining everything—the dolls, the dollhouse, the hidden room, the experiment. “Into… what?” Sunghoon asks.
“...Into me!” you exclaimed, more tears running down your already wet cheeks as you choked out a sob. Sunghoon’s hand tightened around yours. “You killed them… and who knows how many others! Am I next? Are you going to kill me too?”
Sunghoon let go of your hand so he could cup your face with both of his hands, his thumbs wiping underneath your eyes to get rid of the fallen tears. “They aren’t dead!” he says. “And I swear to you that I’ll never hurt you, my love. You know that. Think of them as… reborn.”
You started to tremble in his arms and tried to shift away from him, but Sunghoon wouldn’t let you go anywhere. “Is that what you’re going to do to me? Was all of this—” you gestured around the room at all the dolls of you sitting pretty on the various shelves around the kitchen “—just practice for the real thing?” you spat out. You tried to move again, but Sunghoon’s hands dropped from your face to your upper arms to keep you in place.
“No!” Sunghoon started, his voice coated in disbelief that you would even ask him that as he shook his head. “No… can’t you see? This—” he used a finger to motion around the kitchen at the dolls “—is a reflection of how much I love you. My devotion to you. You, above anything else, above everything else. A peek inside my mind and how the only thing in there is you.”
“A-And that experiment of yours—the missing girls? Behind the wall?” you asked.
“That… is my dedication to you—m-my oath.” Sunghoon was completely desperate. He pleaded with you, his eyes wide and begging you to believe his words. His eyes were watery, like if you didn’t believe him he might cry as well, and he looked at you over the rim of his wire-framed glasses that slipped down his nose bridge.
You didn’t know what to believe. Didn’t know what to say. You just wanted to go upstairs with Sunghoon and lay in your bed and forget about everything that you’ve witnessed as he held you close to his chest. It was all too much, and your resolve was starting to crack and shatter. You wanted to smooth down your wrinkled dress and fix your messy hair, but Sunghoon didn’t let you move a single inch in fear that you would run from him. You couldn’t tell which one of you was more terrified.
His hands slid down from your upper arms and down to your hands, grasping them so tight that it started to hurt. “Come… Come with me…” he trailed, gulping thickly. You stared at him with wide, frightful eyes, suddenly unwilling to move, but Sunghoon desperately pleaded with you. He looked like he was seconds from getting down onto his knees. “Please,” he begged, pulling you into him, as his voice cracked. “You know I’d never do anything ever to hurt you.”
Sunghoon took a step back, hoping that you would follow after him, and you did. You let him guide you down the hallway all the way to the bookshelf and into the room behind it, his grip on your hands never once loosening. He led you in front of the uncanny image of you that he created. “I know how it looks,” Sunghoon says, his voice hushed. “But there’s no pain, no sorrow, nothing.”
It didn’t try to reach out to you like it did earlier and all the dolls that once surrounded it were gone. It didn’t hum that out-of-tune, terrifying version of the melody Sunghoon hummed when he worked either. It just hung limply from its silk restraints. “It just is,” Sunghoon continued. “And when it’s fully done, and completely polished, it’ll be flawless.” He delicately took your chin and guided your head to the side so you looked at him. Your body finally stopped fighting against itself and you relaxed in his grasp. “Like you are.”
Sunghoon leaned forward, hesitantly pausing to look at you again before bringing his lips to meet yours. He pulled you into him, his body wrapping around yours, and you timidly invited him in.
His lips felt so good against yours, and you knew that once you parted for air you’ll miss the feeling of them forever until he kissed you again. It felt right—it felt like home. The home where the two of you were always together and he held you like he was holding you now—like he was afraid that if he let go he would lose you. That if he didn’t hold you like a delicate porcelain cup you would chip and crack and shatter. And you would.
When Sunghoon’s lips moved against yours like they did in this moment, everything fell into place. All your worries slid off your back and for a brief minute, it was just the two of you in the whole wide world. Nothing existed but him, and his body enveloped in yours, and his touch that made you burn. And the flames danced so beautifully for him, didn’t they?
Just when you were about to pull away to quell the heaviness in your lungs, you felt a sudden sharp pain in your neck. You hissed, breaking away from Sunghoon’s lips just barely. Sunghoon chased your lips, holding the back of your head and pulling you closer against his body as he kissed you harder.
You whimpered against his lips, your nails digging into his arms as you tried to free yourself from his vice-like grip. It was no use, Sunghoon was never going to let you go. You felt your body grow heavy in his arms and he had to hold you up. Your vision began to spot black and fray around the edges, and your ears rang terribly. Just before you passed out completely, and over the ringing of your ears, you heard Sunghoon’s muffled voice as he kissed your neck where the pain stemmed.
“I love you. I love you so much that it hurts, I truly do.”
You fade in and out of consciousness as time passes around you. Sometimes you see blurred glimpses of Sunghoon, sometimes it's just an array of colors until you black out again.
You aren’t sure how long it’s been when your eyes finally do open and you remain conscious for good. Blinking away the blurriness in your vision, you examine how you're laying on the couch in your living room. Your entire body aches and it feels stiff. Your head is pounding and you almost close your eyes again to ease the pain you feel. You notice how you’re in different clothes and there’s a blanket over top of you. Too late do you notice the figure in your peripheral, and your eyes shift to look at them.
Sunghoon hovers over you, his expression a chaotic mix of hopeful, relief, and worry as he stares down at you. He’s wearing different clothes too, and his hair is a complete mess, like he’s been running his hands through it, and his glasses almost slide completely off his face. “Are you here, my love?” Sunghoon asks quietly. His voice sounds slightly hoarse.
You give him a confused look, pushing the blanket off of you and crying out from the pain you feel as you try and sit up. Sunghoon rushes to your aid, tossing the blanket to the side without a single thought, and helps ease you to your feet. Your gaze drops to your legs as he helps you stand and you notice how weird they look—shiny. There’s slight indented lines at your knees, too. You look at your arms and they’re the same.
You look doll-like.
Once you’re steadily on your feet, Sunghoon moves a step back to take you all in. You notice how done up you are and when you carefully raise a stiff and sore arm to your hair you feel how it’s styled. Your gaze lands on Sunghoon’s face, his eyes meeting yours.
His eyes are shining—completely full of love and pride. You’ve only seen him look like this when he first came to you with one of the dolls he made that looked the most like you, and when the two of you are in bed and his fingers are gently caressing your skin as he admires you. But, it was even more intense than in those scenarios. Confusion clouds you and you wait for Sunghoon to say something, and he does. One singular word.
“Perfect.”
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✉️ ⦂ would it be wrong to say how i absolutely #needthat #desperately… like hehe yes i’ll be your perfect doll for you forever and ever and ever (๑´ω`๑)
𖥦 ﴾ 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗎𝖾 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈 . . . 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 , 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 , 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ﴿
🏷️﹙ 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝗒 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝖺𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍? 𝖼𝗅𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 ﹚ @jjunberry @gothgyuu @gyuuberries @hyukascampfire @xylatox @ghstzzn @izzyy-stuff @sunoosgfv @jihyokat @whosserina @jellymochii @innocygnet @sumsumtingz @riribelle @yeoningz @minaateez @beombunni @jiryunn @lvrs-street2mmorrow @everythingvirgoes @beomieeeeeeeeeeees @fancypeacepersona @deobitifull @tinycatharsis @strawberryshoujosundae
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pjs - The Prince's Diaries - full fic

💌 Synopsis: Jongseong is a prince—refined, disciplined, and expected to marry a woman of his father’s choosing. You, on the other hand, are just a college student struggling to keep up with rent—until a team of royal advisors shows up on your doorstep and tells you that you’re the lost princess of Genovia. But royal life isn’t a fairytale, and duty doesn’t care about love. Because when the clock strikes midnight on the constitutional deadline, you’ll have to choose: your country or your heart. “If I were just Jay, not a prince, would you still choose me?”
cw: SMUT but lots of fluff, smut on a piano, smut in a library, smut on a chaise, lots of fluff barely any angst the reader is in distress cuz of this whole princess thing.
-
Your alarm blares for the third time, and you finally surrender to consciousness, throwing your arm out to silence the offending device. Another Monday. Another week of classes, part-time work, and trying to stretch your student budget until the next paycheck. Nothing special.
The apartment you share with your roommate isn't much—a cramped two-bedroom with perpetually spotty WiFi and a temperamental shower—but it's home. At least for now.
"Late night?" Your roommate smirks over her coffee mug as you stumble into the kitchen, hair still wrapped in a towel.
"Research paper," you groan, reaching for the coffee pot. "Professor Kim is trying to kill us all before midterms."
You're pouring cereal when a sharp knock at the door makes you jump, spilling Cheerios across the counter.
"You expecting someone?" your roommate asks, already heading to answer it.
You aren't. It's 8:37 AM on a Monday. Nobody visits at 8:37 AM on a Monday.
When your roommate opens the door, the hallway seems suddenly filled with people. Men in dark suits. A woman with an impossibly tight bun. All of them standing with perfect posture, like they've collectively swallowed broomsticks.
"May we come in?" It's not really a question. The woman steps forward, eyes scanning your apartment with barely concealed judgment. "We're looking for Y/N L/N."
Your roommate points at you wordlessly, backing away as the entourage enters.
"Ms. L/N," the woman says, her accent crisp and foreign. "I am Charlotte Martell, private secretary to Her Majesty Queen Clarisse Renaldi of Genovia."
You nearly choke on your coffee. "I'm sorry, what?"
"Genovia," she repeats, as if that clarifies everything. "A small sovereign principality between France and Spain."
"I know what Genovia is," you lie. You absolutely do not know what Genovia is. "But what does that have to do with me?"
The woman—Charlotte—gestures to one of the men, who produces an official-looking folder stamped with a crest you don't recognize.
"Queen Clarisse is your grandmother," Charlotte states, watching your face for a reaction. "And following the tragic death of your father, Crown Prince Philippe, you are now the sole heir to the Genovian throne."
Your roommate gasps dramatically. You burst out laughing.
"Okay, who put you up to this? Was it Kyle? This has his film project written all over it." You look around for hidden cameras.
Charlotte's expression doesn't change. "This is not a prank, Ms. L/N."
"Right. Sure. I'm secretly a princess." You roll your eyes. "And I suppose I've got a glass slipper and fairy godmother too?"
"Your Highness—"
"Nope. Stop right there." You hold up your hand. "I don't know who you people are, but my dad's name was Michael. He was an artist from Cleveland. He died when I was six. My mom raised me alone."
Charlotte and her companions exchange glances.
"Perhaps we should speak with your mother," Charlotte suggests delicately.
"Great idea," you agree, reaching for your phone. "She'll clear this right up."
But when your mom answers, her voice sounds strange. Strained.
"Mom, there are people here saying I'm some kind of princess and you've been hiding it from me my whole life. Tell them they've got the wrong apartment."
The silence on the other end stretches too long.
"Mom?"
"Honey," she finally says, her voice small. "Maybe you should sit down."
Your stomach drops. "No. No way."
"I never thought this would happen," she continues, words rushing now. "The agreement was that they'd never contact you. That you could live a normal life."
The room starts to spin. You grip the counter for support.
"This isn't funny anymore."
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. So sorry. Philippe—your father—wanted to acknowledge you, but I couldn't bear the thought of raising you in that world."
"Philippe?" Your voice sounds distant to your own ears. "My father's name was Michael."
Your mother's sigh crackles through the phone. "Michael was my brother. After Philippe died, Michael helped us... create a story that would protect you."
"Protect me from what? The truth?" The betrayal cuts deep, making your voice sharp.
"From a life that would never be your own," your mother says softly. "I wanted you to have choices."
You look at Charlotte and her entourage, still standing stiffly in your kitchen. This can't be happening.
"I think I'm hallucinating," you announce to no one in particular. "I haven't slept in thirty-six hours. This is just sleep deprivation."
Your roommate pinches your arm. Hard.
"Ow! What the hell?"
"Not dreaming," she says helpfully.
Your mother is still speaking through the phone. "These people—the Genovian royal staff—they'll bring you to the consulate. I'll meet you there, and we can talk properly."
"Mom, I can't just—"
"Please, sweetheart. Let me explain in person."
The phone call ends, and you stare at the device in your hand like it's suddenly turned into a live snake.
"This isn't real," you mutter. "This can't be real."
But three hours later, you're sitting in the Genovian consulate—a building you've passed a hundred times without noticing—watching your mother cry as she explains how she met the Crown Prince of Genovia during a semester abroad, how they fell in love, how she discovered she was pregnant after he returned home, how he died in a car accident before they could marry.
"The Queen wanted to acknowledge you officially," your mother explains, wiping her eyes. "But I refused. I didn't want that life for you."
"That life being...?"
"Being royal," she says, as if it's a disease. "Living in a gilded cage. Every move scrutinized. Never making your own choices."
Charlotte, who has been standing silently against the wall, clears her throat. "If I may, the situation has changed substantially. Without a direct heir, Genovia faces a constitutional crisis. Parliament may vote to dissolve the monarchy entirely."
"And that's... bad?" you ask, still struggling to process any of this.
"The monarchy has protected Genovia's independence for centuries," Charlotte explains. "Without it, larger neighboring countries would likely absorb our territory."
Your mother squeezes your hand. "I never wanted this burden for you. But it's your decision now."
"What decision? I don't even know what's happening!"
"The Queen requests that you come to Genovia," Charlotte says. "Learn about your heritage. Meet your grandmother. After that, you're free to make your choice."
"My choice to... what? Become a princess?"
Charlotte nods solemnly. "To accept your birthright, yes."
You look at your mother, this woman you've trusted your entire life, who has apparently been lying about your identity since before you could speak.
"I have exams next week," you say weakly. It sounds ridiculous even to your own ears.
"All arrangements have been made with your university," Charlotte assures you. "This is, after all, a diplomatic matter."
You laugh, a slightly hysterical sound. "Right. Diplomatic."
Your mother takes your face in her hands, forcing you to look at her. "You don't have to do this. You can walk away right now, and we'll figure something out."
But you can see in her eyes what she's not saying—that this moment was always coming, that the lie was never sustainable, that a door has opened that can't be closed again.
"I just want to know the truth," you tell her. "All of it."
She nods, tears streaming now. "Then you should go. Meet her. Learn who you are."
-
Twenty-four hours later, you're on a private jet somewhere over the Atlantic, still half-convinced you're having an elaborate mental breakdown. Your mother came home with you to help pack, both of you moving through the motions like sleepwalkers.
"The Queen is eager to meet you," Charlotte says from across the aisle, breaking the silence that's stretched between you since takeoff.
"My grandmother," you say, testing the word. "My grandmother the Queen."
Charlotte's expression softens slightly. "This must be overwhelming."
You laugh, the sound hollow. "I keep thinking I'll wake up."
"I assure you, this is quite real," Charlotte says, missing the point entirely.
You stare out the window at endless darkness, trying to reconcile the person you were yesterday with whoever you're supposed to be now.
"What's she like?" you ask suddenly. "The Queen."
Charlotte considers this carefully. "Her Majesty is... formidable. Dignified. Dedicated to Genovia above all else."
"Sounds warm and fuzzy," you mutter.
"The Queen has experienced great loss," Charlotte adds quietly. "Her husband. Her son—your father. She has sacrificed personal happiness for duty."
That silences you. What do you say to a grandmother who's spent decades thinking her bloodline ended with her son, only to discover an heir she never knew existed?
"I don't know how to be a princess," you admit after another long silence.
"No one expects you to know already," Charlotte replies. "There will be extensive training, of course."
"Of course," you echo faintly. "Princess training."
The palace is like something from a fairy tale—all soaring spires and perfect gardens. Dawn is breaking as your motorcade passes through massive iron gates, and you catch your first glimpse of your apparent new home.
"This is insane," you whisper, pressing your face to the window like a child. "People actually live here?"
"The palace has been the royal residence for over three centuries," Charlotte informs you. "The east wing houses government offices, while the royal family occupies the north wing."
Your suite is bigger than your entire apartment. The bathroom alone is the size of your bedroom at home. You're staring at the claw-foot tub, wondering if you're allowed to actually use it or if it's just for show, when there's a knock at the door.
A young woman in a uniform curtsies—actually curtsies—when you open it.
"Your Highness," she says, eyes downcast. "I'm Olivia, your lady's maid."
"My... what now?"
"I'm here to help you prepare to meet Her Majesty."
Your laugh has a slightly manic edge. "I've been wearing the same clothes for twenty-four hours and haven't slept. I don't think 'preparation' is going to help much."
Olivia smiles sympathetically. "Perhaps a bath first?"
You pace back and forth in your suite after your mother's confession at the consulate, hands pressed against your temples. The weight of everything—your father's true identity, your grandmother the Queen, this entire hidden heritage—crashes over you in waves.
"This can't be happening," you mutter. "This doesn't happen to normal people."
Olivia, your newly assigned lady's maid, watches anxiously from the doorway. "Your Highness, perhaps some tea would help calm your nerves?"
"Stop calling me that!" you snap, whirling around. "I'm not a 'Highness.' I'm just—" You break off, unable to even finish the sentence. Who are you now?
Charlotte enters with a stack of leather-bound books. "These are Genovian history texts. Your lessons begin tomorrow. Also, the royal portrait artist would like to schedule a sitting, and we'll need to discuss your public introduction to the Genovian people."
Something inside you finally snaps.
"EVERYBODY JUST STOP!" you shout, throwing your hands up. Charlotte freezes mid-sentence, Olivia nearly drops the tea tray, and even the security guard outside your door peeks in with alarm.
"I need—" your voice cracks, "I need everyone to just stop for a second. Twenty-four hours ago, I was worried about my student loans and my biology midterm. And now you're talking about royal portraits and—and—"
You grab the nearest pillow from a velvet settee and scream into it, a muffled sound of pure frustration. When you pull it away, you're laughing hysterically.
"Holy shit," you gasp through semi-maniacal laughter, "I'm a princess. I'm actually a princess!"
You collapse onto the nearest chair, still clutching the pillow to your chest. Your laughter shifts to something closer to hyperventilation.
"This is completely insane," you continue, gesturing wildly. "I've never even been to Europe before, and suddenly I'm supposed to rule a country? I don't even know where Genovia is on a map! I can barely keep my succulents alive!"
Charlotte approaches cautiously, as though you might explode again. "Perhaps a moment alone would be beneficial—"
"No!" You jump to your feet again, pacing frenetically. "No more alone time to 'process.' I need answers. Real answers. Like, what happens if I just walk out right now? Get on a plane and go home? Will there be, I don't know, international incidents? Diplomatic immunity revoked? Does Genovia have an extradition treaty with the United States?"
Charlotte and Olivia exchange alarmed glances.
"I mean, what's stopping me from just saying 'thanks but no thanks' to this whole princess gig? I didn't sign up for this! My mother lied to me my entire life, and now I'm supposed to just—what? Put on a tiara and wave to crowds? Marry some prince I just met? Rule a country I know nothing about?"
You stop suddenly, a thought occurring to you. You turn to Charlotte, eyes wide.
"Wait. Do I get a tiara?"
Charlotte blinks, thrown by the sudden shift. "Several, actually. The Genovian royal collection includes—"
"Several tiaras," you repeat, dazed. "I get several tiaras."
You start laughing again, but this time with a hint of wonder breaking through the hysteria.
"I have a grandmother who's a Queen," you say, testing the words. "My father was a Crown Prince. I live in a palace now." You spin in a slow circle, taking in the ornate room with new eyes. "I'm a princess."
The reality of it finally, truly hits you—not as an abstract concept but as your new life. Your knees go weak, and you sink back onto the settee.
"I'm Princess Y/N Renaldi of Genovia," you whisper, the name strange on your tongue. "Holy shit."
The bath, it turns out, is heavenly. The exhaustion and tension of the past day seep out of your muscles as you soak in water scattered with actual rose petals. It's so ridiculous that you find yourself laughing alone in the massive bathroom.
"Is everything alright, Your Highness?" Olivia calls through the door.
"Fine! Just having an existential crisis in a bathtub fit for Marie Antoinette!"
After the bath comes what can only be described as a full-scale makeover. Olivia is joined by a team that includes a hairstylist, makeup artist, and someone called a "royal wardrobe consultant" who tuts disapprovingly at the clothes you packed.
"These won't do at all," she announces, holding up your favorite jeans like they're contaminated.
"What's wrong with them?" you demand.
"Her Majesty has certain... expectations regarding royal appearance," the woman explains delicately.
"I'm not actually a princess yet," you point out. "Technically, I haven't agreed to anything."
But your protests fall on deaf ears. Two hours later, you're staring at a stranger in the mirror. Your hair has been styled into something elegant and smooth. Your face has been transformed with makeup that somehow looks natural despite taking forty-five minutes to apply. And you're wearing a dress that probably costs more than your entire wardrobe at home.
"There," the hairstylist says proudly. "Now you look like a princess."
You don't feel like a princess. You feel like a fraud in costume.
The "Blue Salon" turns out to be a formal sitting room where an elegant older woman waits, standing by a window. She turns as you enter, and you see your own eyes staring back at you from her face.
"Your Majesty," Charlotte announces, "Her Royal Highness, Princess Y/N Renaldi."
The Queen—your grandmother—studies you silently for a long moment. You resist the urge to fidget under her gaze.
"The resemblance is remarkable," she says finally, her voice steady but with an undercurrent of emotion. "You have his eyes. My son's eyes."
You don't know what to say. This woman is a stranger who is somehow your closest living relative.
"You must have questions," she continues when you remain silent.
"About a million," you admit. "Starting with why my entire life has been a lie."
If your directness offends her, she doesn't show it. "Your mother made her choice. I respected it, though I disagreed with it. But circumstances have changed."
"So I've heard. Constitutional crisis. End of the monarchy. Very dramatic."
A hint of a smile touches her lips. "You have spirit. Good. You'll need it." She gestures to a chair. "Please, sit. We have much to discuss."
The next hour is a crash course in your own heritage. The Queen—your grandmother—explains the history of Genovia, the role of the monarchy, and the crisis created by the King's death without a recognized heir.
"Parliament has granted a grace period of three months," she explains. "In that time, you must decide whether to accept your title and begin preparation for eventual rule, or to renounce your claim permanently."
"And if I renounce?"
"Then the monarchy ends with me," she says simply. "And Genovia's future becomes uncertain."
No pressure or anything.
"There's another complication," your grandmother adds, and something in her tone makes you brace yourself. "The Genovian constitution requires the heir to be married before taking the throne."
You choke on the tea you've been sipping. "Married? I'm twenty-one!"
"Which is why, should you accept your title, suitable candidates would be presented immediately."
"Suitable candidates," you repeat incredulously. "You mean arranged marriage?"
"Think of it as... pre-screened dating," your grandmother suggests with a straight face.
"This is insane," you mutter, setting down your cup before you drop it. "Twenty-four hours ago, I was worried about my midterms. Now I'm discussing arranged marriages and constitutional crises."
Your grandmother regards you thoughtfully. "I understand this is overwhelming. You need not decide everything today. Take time to adjust. Learn about Genovia. Meet some of the young men Parliament considers suitable."
"And if I hate them all?"
"Then we face that challenge when it arises," she says diplomatically. "For now, perhaps we can start with dinner. I've invited one potential candidate to join us this evening."
"Seriously? I just got here!"
"Time is a luxury we don't have," your grandmother reminds you. "Prince Jongseong of Astoria is already in Genovia for diplomatic meetings. It's an opportunity that shouldn't be wasted."
Your head is spinning. "Prince who of where now?"
Your grandmother hands you a folder. "Astoria is a key ally. A marriage alliance would be most beneficial."
You flip open the folder to find a dossier—an actual dossier—on someone named Prince Jongseong of Astoria. The photograph shows a young man about your age with perfect features and an expression of cool dignity. He's handsome in an intimidating way, like a sculpture you're not allowed to touch.
"Great," you say weakly. "Blind date with a prince. No problem."
The day passes in a blur of instructions, protocol lessons, and people telling you how to walk, talk, sit, and breathe like a princess. By evening, your exhaustion has been replaced by a surreal, floating feeling, as if none of this is actually happening to you.
"Remember," Charlotte reminds you for the hundredth time as you're escorted to the State Dining Room, "curtsy when he's introduced, address him as 'Your Highness' initially, then 'Prince Jongseong' after that. The Queen will lead the conversation."
"What if I just hide under the table?" you suggest. "Blame it on jet lag?"
Charlotte doesn't even acknowledge your joke. "The Prince is known for his diplomatic skill and decorum. Please try to match his level of dignity."
"No pressure there."
The dining room is intimidating—all crystal chandeliers and gold trim. Footmen stand at attention along the walls. Your grandmother already waits at the head of a table that could seat thirty, though only four places are set.
"You look lovely," she tells you, and you resist the urge to tug at the formal dress that feels like a costume.
"I look like someone else," you reply honestly.
"Sometimes appearing royal is the first step to feeling royal," she says, which doesn't make you feel any better.
The doors open, and a court official announces: "His Royal Highness, Prince Jongseong of the House of Park, Crown Prince of Astoria, and Lord High Commissioner of the Eastern Provinces."
Your first thought as he enters: people shouldn't be that perfect-looking in real life. It seems unfair somehow.
Prince Jongseong is tall and moves with unconscious grace. His formal attire—some kind of military dress uniform with medals and sashes—accentuates broad shoulders. His features are even more striking in person—sharp jawline, intense eyes that miss nothing.
You remember to curtsy, wobbling slightly in your heels. When you straighten, his eyes meet yours directly. No smile, just assessment.
"Wait," you blurt out before anyone can speak. "Are we related?"
The room goes absolutely still. Charlotte makes a small choking sound behind you. Your grandmother's expression doesn't change, but her eyes widen slightly.
Prince Jongseong blinks, the only indication that your question has caught him off guard.
"I beg your pardon?" he asks, his voice deeper than you expected, his accent subtle but distinctive.
"Sorry, I just—I'm new to this whole royal thing, and apparently everyone's connected somehow, so I wanted to check if we're like, third cousins or something before this gets weird."
Your grandmother clears her throat. "Prince Jongseong's lineage and the Renaldi family have no direct connection for at least seven generations."
"Oh. Good." You feel your face heating up. "That's... good to know."
Prince Jongseong's expression remains absolutely neutral, but something that might be amusement flickers in his eyes briefly.
"Your Majesty," he addresses your grandmother first, bowing formally. "Thank you for your invitation."
When he turns back to you, you feel suddenly, intensely scrutinized.
"Your Highness," he says, bowing again. "It is an honor to meet the Princess of Genovia."
You're supposed to say something regal in response, but what comes out is: "I only found out I was a princess yesterday, so we're kind of in the same boat there."
Prince Jongseong does something unexpected. The corner of his mouth twitches—almost, but not quite, a smile.
"An unusual circumstance," he acknowledges, his tone carefully neutral but his eyes suddenly more interested. "Though I assure you, the honor remains."
Dinner is a masterclass in awkwardness. Your grandmother and an Astorian diplomat discuss trade agreements while you try to remember which fork to use for each course. Prince Jongseong watches you with those observant eyes but says little.
It's during dessert that he finally addresses you directly.
"I understand you were a university student before this... revelation."
You look up, surprised he's bothered to learn anything about you. "Yes. Political science, ironically enough."
"A useful background for your new role," he comments.
"I was planning to work for a non-profit," you admit. "Not rule a country."
"Few of us choose our destinies," he says, and something in his tone makes you wonder if he's speaking from experience.
After dinner, your grandmother suggests a "stroll through the East Garden" which is apparently royal code for "leaving you alone with your potential suitor while still maintaining proper supervision," as Charlotte and two guards follow at a discreet distance.
The garden is beautiful under the moonlight, with flowering trees and perfectly manicured hedges. You walk in uncomfortable silence until Prince Jongseong speaks.
"You seem overwhelmed."
You laugh, the sound sharper than intended. "What gave it away? The identity crisis or the third cousin question?"
"Both were... illuminating," he replies, and you think you detect a hint of humor beneath his formal tone.
"Sorry about that," you sigh. "This is all just... a lot."
"I can imagine," he says, though you doubt he can. He's probably been a prince his whole life, never wondering who he really is or where he belongs.
"No offense, but this isn't exactly how I planned to spend my week," you tell him honestly. "Twenty-four hours ago, I was a normal college student with student loans and a part-time job. Now I'm having dinner with princes and learning how to curtsy."
"It's a significant adjustment," he acknowledges, which feels like the understatement of the century.
"Can I ask you something?" you say suddenly.
He inclines his head slightly. "Of course."
"Is it always this weird? Being royal, I mean. Does it ever feel... normal?"
The question seems to surprise him. He considers it seriously before answering.
"I cannot speak to your experience," he says carefully. "I was born into my role, prepared for it from childhood. But even so, there are moments when the weight of responsibility feels... alienating."
It's the most human thing he's said all evening.
"What do you do in those moments?" you ask, genuinely curious.
Something shifts in his expression—a momentary glimpse of a different person behind the perfect princely mask.
"I remember that even a gilded cage is still a cage," he says quietly. "But with the right mindset, it can also be a platform for meaningful change."
You study him more carefully. Maybe there's more to Prince Perfect than you initially thought.
"That's... surprisingly profound," you admit.
The hint of a smile touches his lips again. "You expected shallow platitudes?"
"I don't know what I expected," you say honestly. "Everything about today has been surreal."
"Including meeting a potential husband selected by parliament?" he suggests, and there's definitely a note of dry humor in his voice now.
You can't help but laugh. "Yeah, that's pretty high on the surreal list."
"If it helps," he offers, "I find the situation equally unusual, though perhaps less distressing as I've had longer to adjust to the concept."
"How generous of you," you say sarcastically before you can stop yourself.
To your surprise, a genuine smile briefly transforms his face, making him look younger, more approachable.
"You're very direct," he observes.
"Sorry. New to the royal filter thing."
"It's... refreshing," he admits. "Most people I meet have agendas carefully hidden beneath pleasantries."
"My only agenda is surviving this day without having a complete breakdown," you tell him truthfully.
He stops walking, turning to face you. The moonlight catches the sharp angles of his face, and for a moment, he looks like a real person rather than a perfect royal specimen.
"You're doing better than you think," he says, and it feels like the first completely genuine thing he's said all evening.
The moment stretches between you—something unnamed passing in the silence—before Charlotte clears her throat, reminding you of her presence.
"The Queen will be expecting us to return," she prompts.
Prince Jongseong straightens immediately, mask back in place. "Of course."
As you walk back toward the palace, your hand accidentally brushes his. A small touch, barely nothing, but something unexpected flutters in your stomach. His eyes meet yours briefly, and you wonder if he felt it too.
Back in the formal reception room, he bows over your hand. "It has been a pleasure, Your Highness."
"Likewise, Prince Jongseong," you manage, this time remembering the proper response.
As he prepares to leave, he hesitates, then adds quietly, "Perhaps when we meet again, you might be more accustomed to your title."
-
You wake to sunlight streaming through unfamiliar curtains, momentarily disoriented. The canopied bed, the ornate furniture, the distant sound of voices speaking a language you don't understand—where are you?
Then it hits you like a freight train. Genovia. Palace. Princess.
You groan and pull a pillow over your face. Maybe if you smother yourself with Egyptian cotton, you'll wake up in your cramped apartment with your psychology paper still due and your normal life intact.
A gentle knock at the door shatters that fantasy.
"Your Highness?" Olivia's voice calls. "Her Majesty requests your presence for breakfast in thirty minutes."
You remove the pillow with another groan. "Tell her I've fled the country."
There's a pause. "I... don't think I can say that to the Queen, Your Highness."
Despite everything, you laugh. Poor Olivia, stuck with an unwilling princess who doesn't know the first thing about royal protocol.
"I'll be ready," you call back, dragging yourself out of bed.
The "breakfast room" (because apparently regular dining rooms are insufficient for morning meals) is sunshine-bright and intimidatingly elegant. Your grandmother already sits at the table, reading documents while sipping tea.
"Good morning," she says without looking up. "I trust you slept well?"
"Not really," you admit, slouching into a chair before remembering Charlotte's lecture about posture. You straighten awkwardly, feeling like you're balancing a book on your head.
Your grandmother finally looks at you, one eyebrow arched. "Honesty before coffee. How refreshing."
A servant appears instantly with a cup of steaming coffee prepared exactly how you like it. You stare at it suspiciously.
"How did they know...?"
"Part of the job," your grandmother answers simply. "Knowing what people need before they ask for it."
You take a grateful sip. "At least that's one perk of this princess gig."
Your grandmother sets down her papers. "Your schedule today is quite full. We have much work to do."
"Schedule?" You didn't know you had a schedule.
"Charlotte will brief you after breakfast. But first," she slides a leather portfolio across the table, "Your Genovian citizenship papers, passport, and diplomatic credentials. You'll need to sign where indicated."
You flip open the folder. The first document declares you Princess Y/N Mignonette Renaldi of Genovia, Crown Princess and Royal Heir.
"Mignonette?" You look up, confused. "That's not my middle name."
"It is now," your grandmother says with finality. "A royal name."
You sign where indicated, feeling like you're signing away your old identity with each stroke of the pen.
"There's something else we need to discuss," your grandmother says once you've finished. "Your... public introduction."
"My what now?"
"The people of Genovia must meet their princess. There will be a press conference tomorrow, followed by a formal ball next week."
You choke on your coffee. "Tomorrow? A press conference? I can't—I don't—I'm not ready for that!"
"Which is why today is devoted to preparation," she says calmly. "Diplomatic protocol, Genovian history, public speaking..."
Your appetite vanishes. People—actual citizens of an actual country—are going to be judging whether you're fit to rule them. The thought is paralyzing.
"What if I mess up?" you ask quietly. "What if I embarrass Genovia? Or you?"
Something softens in your grandmother's expression. "You are more capable than you realize." She hesitates, then adds, "Your father was much the same way. Doubting himself, yet exceeding every expectation."
It's the first time she's voluntarily mentioned your father, and the comparison catches you off guard.
"I wish I'd known him," you say before you can stop yourself.
"As do I," she replies softly. "As do I."
The moment of vulnerability passes as quickly as it appeared. She's all business again, consulting her watch.
"Charlotte will meet you in the library in fifteen minutes. And this evening, Prince Jongseong will be joining us for the diplomatic reception."
Your stomach does a weird flip at the mention of his name. "Already? I just met him yesterday."
"He's requested to assist with certain aspects of your diplomatic training," your grandmother explains, a hint of something—amusement? satisfaction?—in her eyes. "The prince has excellent connections throughout Europe. His guidance will be valuable."
"I'm sure," you mutter, wondering what his real agenda is. Nobody volunteers for tutoring duty without an ulterior motive.
-
The dress fitting is endless torture. The royal stylist, Madame Aubert, fusses over fabrics and colors while treating you like a mannequin rather than a person.
"Perhaps the blue? It brings out Her Highness's eyes," she suggests to Charlotte, who nods seriously.
"I like the green one," you interject.
Both women look at you with surprise, as if they'd forgotten you could speak.
"The green is... less traditional," Madame Aubert says diplomatically.
"I'm not exactly a traditional princess," you point out. "Raised in America. Didn't know I was royal until two days ago. Let's embrace the unconventional, shall we?"
Charlotte's lips thin with disapproval, but she doesn't argue. "The green then. With appropriate accessories."
The "appropriate accessories" turn out to be your first tiara—a delicate silver creation with small diamonds that makes your heart skip despite your determination to remain unimpressed by royal trappings.
"This is from the royal collection," Charlotte explains as Madame Aubert carefully places it on your styled hair. "Traditionally worn by princesses at their first official appearance."
You stare at your reflection, this stranger with perfect hair and makeup wearing a genuine tiara. The disconnect between who you were days ago and who you're supposed to be now has never felt more stark.
"What if I can't do this?" you whisper, fear finally breaking through the sarcasm you've been hiding behind.
Charlotte's expression softens slightly. "Everyone feels unprepared for significant change, Your Highness. Even those born to royal life."
"Even Prince Perfect?" you ask before you can stop yourself.
"Prince Jongseong?" Charlotte raises an eyebrow. "Especially him, I suspect. The burdens of Astoria's crown prince are considerable."
You turn to her, surprised by this insight. "What do you mean?"
"Astoria has undergone significant modernization in recent years," Charlotte explains. "Prince Jongseong has been at the forefront of many reforms, often against traditional factions. His reputation for perfectionism is... protective."
This new perspective on the prince is unexpected. You think back to his comment about gilded cages during your garden conversation.
"I misjudged him," you realize aloud.
"First impressions in royal circles are rarely accurate," Charlotte says with surprising gentleness. "We all wear masks of one kind or another."
The conversation is interrupted when your grandmother sweeps in to inspect the dress selection. She surveys you critically, then nods approval.
"The green is unexpected," she notes. "But it suits you. Bold without being inappropriate."
"Thank you," you say, genuinely pleased by her approval.
"Now," she continues briskly, "for this evening's diplomatic reception. There will be approximately fifty guests, primarily ambassadors and foreign dignitaries. You will be introduced formally, then circulate with me for the first hour."
Your momentary confidence evaporates. "Fifty people? Tonight? I barely know how to address half the titles Charlotte's been drilling me on!"
"Consider it practice for tomorrow's press conference," your grandmother replies calmly. "Prince Jongseong has offered to assist you. He knows most of the attendees personally."
Of course he does. Prince Perfect probably emerged from the womb networking with international dignitaries.
-
The diplomatic reception is held in yet another ornate room you haven't seen before. You're beginning to wonder just how many formal spaces one palace needs.
You stand beside your grandmother as Charlotte announces each arrival, desperately trying to remember their titles and countries while maintaining what you hope is a regal posture.
"His Excellency Antoine Dubois, Ambassador of France," Charlotte intones.
A distinguished older man approaches, bowing over your grandmother's hand. "Your Majesty, always a pleasure."
He turns to you with obvious curiosity. "And Your Highness, welcome to Genovia. France looks forward to a long and prosperous relationship with the future Queen."
You manage a decent curtsy. "Thank you, Your Excellency. I look forward to learning more about the historic ties between our nations."
The diplomatic phrase Charlotte drilled into you comes out smoothly, and you feel a small surge of triumph. Maybe you can do this after all.
As more guests arrive, you fall into a rhythm of greetings and basic pleasantries. Your nerves gradually settle—until Charlotte announces, "His Royal Highness, Prince Jongseong of Astoria."
He enters looking even more striking than yesterday, dressed in formal evening attire with a subtle military influence. A row of medals decorates his chest, and a blue sash crosses his torso. The effect is both regal and undeniably attractive.
He bows to your grandmother first, then to you, eyes meeting yours with unexpected warmth.
"Your Highness," he says, and there's something almost like approval in his gaze. "You look magnificent."
The compliment catches you off guard. "Thank you. You look... very princelike yourself."
A hint of amusement flickers in his eyes. "I try my best."
Your grandmother watches this exchange with interest. "Prince Jongseong, perhaps you would be kind enough to introduce Princess Y/N to some of our Eastern European allies? I believe the Latvian ambassador was hoping to meet her."
"It would be my honor," he replies smoothly.
Your grandmother leans closer to you. "Remember, diplomatic relations are built on personal connections as much as formal agreements," she murmurs. "Use this opportunity to establish yourself."
Great. More pressure.
Prince Jongseong offers his arm, and you take it, trying to ignore the way your pulse quickens at the contact.
"Nervous?" he asks quietly as he leads you through the crowd.
"Terrified," you admit. "I keep waiting for someone to realize I have no idea what I'm doing."
"A secret of royal life," he replies, his voice low near your ear. "Most of us feel that way. We're just better at hiding it."
You look at him in surprise. "Even you?"
"Especially me," he says, and for a brief moment, his perfect façade slips, revealing something vulnerable beneath. Then it's gone, replaced by his usual composed expression as you approach a group of diplomats.
"Ambassador Petrov," Prince Jongseong greets an imposing man with a silver beard. "May I present Her Royal Highness, Princess Y/N of Genovia?"
The next hour passes in a blur of introductions and carefully navigated conversations. Prince Jongseong remains at your side, smoothly guiding interactions and occasionally rescuing you with well-timed interventions when you falter.
During a brief moment alone while getting drinks, you turn to him. "Thank you. For... all this." You gesture vaguely at the room.
"You're doing remarkably well," he says. "Most people would have fled the country by now."
"Don't think I haven't considered it," you mutter, making him smile.
"What's stopping you?"
You consider the question seriously. "I don't know. Maybe... responsibility? My grandmother needs me. Genovia needs me. Running away seems selfish."
He studies you thoughtfully. "That sense of duty will make you an excellent ruler someday."
"If I survive princess lessons," you joke weakly.
"You will," he says with surprising conviction. "And perhaps along the way, you might even find aspects of royal life to enjoy."
"Like what? The constant scrutiny? The lack of privacy? The arranged marriages?"
His expression shifts at that last point. "Not all royal marriages are purely political these days. There can be... compatibility considerations."
"Is that what this is?" you ask boldly, gesturing between you. "A 'compatibility assessment'?"
He doesn't answer immediately, seeming to choose his words carefully. "I would prefer to think of it as... getting to know each other without predetermined expectations."
"Except for the fact that my grandmother and your government clearly have expectations," you point out.
"True," he acknowledges. "But perhaps we could set those aside, temporarily. See if there's more between us than diplomatic advantage."
Your heart does something complicated in your chest. "And if there isn't?"
"Then we remain allies with mutual respect," he says simply. "No one can force a marriage in the modern era, regardless of constitutional requirements."
Before you can respond, Charlotte approaches. "Your Highness, the Prime Minister has arrived and wishes to pay his respects."
Prince Jongseong steps back slightly. "We should continue this conversation another time."
"I'd like that," you admit, surprised by your own honesty.
He bows formally, but his eyes hold something warmer. "Until tomorrow, Princess Y/N."
-
The press conference is a blur of flashing cameras and shouted questions. Despite your fears of public humiliation, you somehow manage to survive it—stumbling only twice over Genovian pronunciations and making just one awkward joke that, thankfully, the press seems to find charming rather than offensive.
"You were marvelous," your grandmother tells you afterward, her approval warming you despite your exhaustion.
"Really? Because I think I just agreed to visit a children's hospital tomorrow and I have no idea what a royal visit actually entails."
"Charlotte will brief you," she says dismissively. "The important thing is that you appeared genuine. The people responded to that."
You think back to Prince Jongseong's advice about authenticity over perfection. Maybe he was right after all.
"Speaking of Prince Jongseong," your grandmother continues, with that same hint of calculation in her eyes, "he's arranged for a tour of Genovia's historical districts tomorrow evening. The royal council believes it would be beneficial for you to be seen engaging with our cultural heritage."
"The royal council believes," you repeat skeptically. "Or you believe?"
Your grandmother's lips twitch. "Let's say our interests align in this particular matter."
You roll your eyes. "You're not exactly subtle about this matchmaking attempt."
"Subtlety is a luxury afforded to those with time," she replies. "We have precious little of that."
She's not wrong. The constitutional deadline looms over every decision, every interaction. Sometimes you forget that your grandmother faces the end of her life's work—the dissolution of a monarchy that has stood for centuries—if you don't step up to the challenge.
"Fine," you concede. "I'll go on the royal field trip. But don't expect me to fall madly in love just because he knows his way around old buildings."
"I expect nothing," your grandmother says innocently. "Though I would point out that an appreciation for history is an admirable quality in a potential consort."
That night, sleep remains elusive despite your exhaustion. Your mind keeps cycling through the day's events, replaying moments of triumph and embarrassment in equal measure. After tossing and turning for hours, you finally give up and slip out of bed.
The palace is different at night—quieter, less intimidating without the constant hustle of staff and royal obligations. You wrap a robe around your pajamas and venture into the hallway, nodding to the security guard who pretends not to notice your disheveled state.
Without any real destination in mind, you wander through dimly lit corridors, enjoying the rare moment of solitude. Somehow, you find yourself at a set of glass doors leading to the garden where you walked with Prince Jongseong that first night.
The garden is silvered with moonlight, the formal hedges casting complex shadows across manicured lawns. You step outside, breathing in the scent of night-blooming flowers, and follow a stone path deeper into the grounds.
You've just discovered a charming fountain featuring a mermaid when a voice behind you says, "You couldn't sleep either?"
You whirl around, startled, to find Prince Jongseong standing a few feet away. He's dressed casually—at least by his standards—in dark pants and a simple white shirt, open at the collar. With his hair slightly mussed and his perfect posture somewhat relaxed, he looks younger, more approachable.
"You scared me," you accuse, pressing a hand to your racing heart.
"My apologies," he says, taking a step closer. "I didn't expect anyone else to be out here at this hour."
"That makes two of us," you reply, suddenly conscious of your own appearance—hair hastily tied back, face bare of makeup, wearing palace-issued silk pajamas under a matching robe. Not exactly how you'd choose to encounter the frustratingly perfect prince.
"I watched the press conference," he says, changing the subject. "You did well."
"I stumbled over 'agricultural initiatives' and called the Finance Minister 'sir' instead of 'minister,'" you point out.
His mouth quirks in that almost-smile that's becoming familiar. "And yet, you were authentic. The people responded to that."
"That's almost exactly what my grandmother said."
"The Queen is a perceptive woman."
You study him in the moonlight, curious about this less formal version of the prince. "Do you always wander palace gardens at midnight?"
"Only when sleep proves elusive," he admits. He hesitates, then adds, "The demands of royal life can be... difficult to quiet."
"Tell me about it," you sigh, sitting on the edge of the fountain. After a moment's hesitation, he joins you, maintaining a respectful distance. "Two days ago, my biggest worry was my political theory midterm. Now I'm worried about constitutional crises and diplomatic incidents."
"It's a significant adjustment," he acknowledges.
"That's the understatement of the century," you laugh, but there's no real humor in it. "Everyone keeps acting like I should just accept all this—the title, the responsibility, the arranged marriage—like it's perfectly normal."
He's quiet for a moment, then asks, "May I speak candidly, Your Highness?"
"Please. And maybe drop the 'Your Highness' when we're alone? It's weird enough without the constant reminders."
He nods, then says, "Y/N, then." Your name in his voice, without the royal title, sends an unexpected shiver down your spine. "The truth is, none of this is normal. Not even for those of us raised in it. We're just better at pretending."
"You're saying you hate it too?" you ask skeptically.
"Not hate," he corrects. "But there are... challenges. Expectations. Sacrifices."
"Like what?"
He stares at the fountain, watching moonlight play across the water. "Privacy. Freedom to choose one's own path. The luxury of mistakes."
You study his profile, seeing something vulnerable in his expression that's never visible during daylight hours. "So why do it?"
"Duty," he says simply. "Family. The knowledge that privilege comes with responsibility."
"That sounds rehearsed," you observe.
To your surprise, he laughs—a genuine sound that transforms his face. "Perhaps because I've been repeating it to myself since childhood."
Your curiosity grows. "What would you have chosen? If you weren't born a prince?"
The question seems to catch him off guard. He considers it seriously. "I've never allowed myself to think about it. But perhaps... music."
"Music?" That wasn't what you expected.
"I play piano," he admits, sounding almost embarrassed. "Classically trained, of course, as all proper princes must be. But I find myself drawn to composing. It's... freeing."
You try to imagine Prince Perfect hunched over a piano, lost in music of his own creation, and the image is strangely compelling.
"Will you play for me sometime?" you ask impulsively.
Something shifts in his expression—surprise, certainly, but something else too. Something warmer. "If you wish."
"I do," you say, surprised by your own sincerity.
A comfortable silence falls between you, broken only by the gentle splashing of the fountain. Without the pressure of formal events and watchful eyes, you find yourself relaxing in his presence.
"What about you?" he asks eventually. "If you weren't suddenly thrust into royal life, what would you have chosen?"
"I was studying political science," you remind him. "I wanted to work in international development. Help people who are overlooked by traditional power structures."
"Noble aims," he observes.
"Now I sound like the one with rehearsed answers," you laugh.
"No," he says softly. "You sound like someone with genuine conviction." He pauses, then adds, "Someone who would make an excellent queen."
The compliment catches you off guard. "You barely know me."
"I'm a good judge of character," he replies. "It's a necessary skill in diplomatic circles."
"Is that what this is?" you ask boldly. "Diplomacy?"
His eyes meet yours, and something electric passes between you. "Not entirely," he admits.
"This is something unexpected," he says finally, his voice lower than before.
The air between you feels charged with possibility. You're acutely aware of his proximity, of the slight gap in his collar revealing a glimpse of collarbone, of the way moonlight catches in his eyes.
"Jongseong," you say, testing his name without the princely title. It feels intimate somehow, crossing an invisible boundary. "Why did you volunteer to help with my training?"
He doesn't answer immediately. When he does, his honesty surprises you. "Initially, for diplomatic reasons. An alliance between Genovia and Astoria would benefit both nations." He hesitates, then adds, "But after meeting you... my motivations became more personal."
"How personal?" you press, heart racing.
Instead of answering, he reaches out slowly, giving you time to pull away, and brushes a strand of hair from your face. His fingertips graze your cheek, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake.
"Personal enough that I find myself in gardens at midnight, hoping for a chance encounter," he admits quietly.
You don't realize you've been holding your breath until you exhale shakily. "That's... quite personal."
His gaze drops to your lips briefly before returning to your eyes. "May I..." he begins, then hesitates.
"Yes," you whisper, not needing him to finish the question.
He leans in slowly, deliberately, one hand coming up to cup your cheek. When his lips finally meet yours, the kiss is gentle, questioning, giving you every opportunity to pull away.
You don't. Instead, you find yourself leaning into him, one hand coming to rest on his chest where you can feel his heart beating as rapidly as your own. The kiss deepens, becoming something more urgent, more honest than any interaction you've had since arriving in Genovia.
When you finally break apart, you're both breathing unevenly. Jongseong rests his forehead against yours, eyes closed as if savoring the moment.
"That was..." he begins.
"Unexpected?" you suggest, echoing his earlier word.
He laughs softly. "Yes. Though perhaps inevitable."
"Is this going to cause an international incident?" you ask, only half-joking.
"Only if we let it," he replies, drawing back slightly to meet your eyes. "This... whatever is developing between us... it needs to be separate from politics. At least for now."
"Can it be?" you wonder aloud. "Everything about our lives is political."
"Not everything," he says firmly. "Not this." He takes your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. "When we're alone, I'd like to just be Jongseong. Not Prince Jongseong of Astoria with all its attendant expectations."
The vulnerability in his request touches something in you. "I'd like that."
"My friends at school used to call me Jay," he admits, sounding almost shy. "No one here uses that name."
The nickname humanizes him instantly, creating a contrast with the formal prince everyone else sees.
"Jay," you repeat, testing it on your tongue. His eyes darken at the sound of his nickname in your voice. "I like it."
"May I kiss you again... Y/N?" he asks, your name without titles sounding intimate in his accented voice.
In answer, you close the distance between you, kissing him with more confidence this time. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss deepens. One of your hands finds its way into his hair, fingers threading through the soft strands that are usually so perfectly styled.
You lose track of time, lost in the sensation of his mouth against yours, his hands tracing patterns on your back through the thin silk of your robe. There's an urgency building between you, a heat that makes you forget your surroundings, your circumstances, everything but the feeling of being in his arms.
It's the distant sound of a guard's footsteps that finally brings you back to reality. You pull apart quickly, both breathing heavily. Jongseong's hair is mussed from your fingers, his lips slightly swollen, and there's a flush across his cheekbones that you've never seen before.
"We should probably go back inside," you say reluctantly, glancing toward the sound. "Before someone finds us."
He nods, though he looks as unwilling as you feel. "You're right." He stands, offering you his hand to help you up. "Though I find myself wishing for more midnight encounters."
"Is that a royal request?" you tease, accepting his help.
"A personal one," he corrects, bringing your joined hands to his lips for a brief kiss that sends warmth flooding through you.
-
The historical districts of Genovia are charming beyond your expectations—cobblestone streets, centuries-old architecture, and views of both mountains and sea that take your breath away. But if you're being honest, you're far more aware of your tour guide than the sights.
Jongseong—or Jay, as you've begun to think of him in your private thoughts—appears perfectly princely today, back in formal attire with his public mask firmly in place. If not for the occasional heated glance when no one is watching, you might think you dreamed last night's encounter.
"This cathedral dates back to the 14th century," he explains as you enter a soaring space of stained glass and ancient stone. "The Renaldi family has traditionally been crowned here since 1523."
"Where I'll be crowned," you murmur, the reality of your future suddenly pressing in.
His expression softens briefly. "Yes. Though not for many years, one hopes."
The palace security detail keeps a discreet distance, but they're ever-present, along with several photographers approved to document your cultural education for the Genovian press. Every movement, every interaction is observed, recorded, analyzed.
"How do you stand it?" you ask quietly as you move between exhibits in a historical museum. "The constant scrutiny."
"You develop a public self," he explains, maintaining a proper distance as he guides you through a display of royal artifacts. "A version that can withstand examination."
"And the real self?"
His eyes meet yours briefly, intensely. "That remains private. Shared only with those who have earned trust."
The implication isn't lost on you. Last night, he showed you something real—something beyond the perfect prince facade. The knowledge feels like a precious secret.
The tour concludes with dinner at a historical restaurant overlooking the harbor. Security has cleared the establishment of other patrons, creating an illusion of privacy that you both know is false. Still, sitting across from him as sunset paints the water gold, you find moments of genuine connection between the formal conversation about Genovian history and culture.
"You've memorized a remarkable amount about Genovia," you observe as he explains the significance of an ancient trading route.
"I studied your country extensively after learning of your existence," he admits. "I wanted to be prepared."
"For what?"
"To meet you," he says simply.
Something warm unfurls in your chest. "That's... thorough."
"I prefer to be informed," he replies, but there's a hint of self-deprecating humor in his tone. "Though I confess, no amount of research prepared me for the reality."
"Disappointed?" you ask, only half-joking.
"Quite the opposite." His gaze is steady, sincere. "You continually surprise me, Y/N. It's... refreshing."
The way he says your name, without titles or pretense, sends a thrill through you despite the public setting.
After dinner, as you're escorted back to the palace, the car's privacy partition offers a brief moment of seclusion from watchful eyes. Jongseong's hand finds yours in the darkness, fingers intertwining.
"I wish we could have a normal evening," he says quietly. "Without guards and photographers. Just the two of us."
"Is anything about our lives ever going to be normal?" you wonder aloud.
He squeezes your hand gently. "Probably not. But we might find moments of normalcy in the chaos."
The car slows as you approach the palace gates, and reluctantly, he releases your hand. The mask of royal propriety falls back into place with practiced ease.
"Thank you for the tour, Prince Jongseong," you say formally as the car stops at the palace entrance. "It was most educational."
"The pleasure was mine, Your Highness," he replies with equal formality, though his eyes convey a very different message.
Later that night, you find yourself drawn once again to the garden, hoping for a repeat of the previous evening's encounter. The fountain beckons with memories of his kiss, but the garden remains empty save for the ever-present palace guards.
Disappointed, you turn to head back inside when you notice something on the bench by the fountain—a folded piece of paper tucked partially beneath a small stone. Looking around to ensure no one is watching, you retrieve it, unfolding it quickly.
Inside, in elegant handwriting: Piano room, east wing, midnight. —J
Your pulse quickens. The east wing houses several music rooms, according to Charlotte's exhaustive palace tour. It would be simple enough to find your way there.
It would also be reckless, improper, and potentially scandalous if discovered.
You fold the note carefully, tucking it into your pocket, and head back inside, decision already made.
The palace at midnight is a labyrinth of shadows and silence. You've changed from your formal evening attire into something more comfortable—dark jeans and a simple blouse that feels like armor after days of princess couture. With your hair loose and face scrubbed of makeup, you almost recognize yourself again.
You navigate the corridors carefully, grateful for Charlotte's detailed palace tour. The east wing is older, with fewer guards patrolling its halls. The music room isn't difficult to find—soft piano notes guide you to a partially open door.
Inside, lit only by a single lamp, Jongseong sits at a grand piano. He's shed his formal attire for dark pants and a simple button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His hair falls loose across his forehead as he plays, eyes closed in concentration.
The melody is hauntingly beautiful—melancholy yet hopeful, complex yet accessible. You stand in the doorway, transfixed by this version of him you've never seen before—completely unguarded, lost in his music.
When the piece ends, his eyes open and find you immediately, as if he sensed your presence all along.
"You came," he says simply.
"I came," you confirm, stepping fully into the room and closing the door quietly behind you.
He remains seated at the piano, watching as you approach. "Did anyone see you?"
"Just the guard outside my room. I told him I was going to the library."
He nods, satisfied. "That was beautiful," you add, gesturing to the piano. "What was it?"
"Something I've been working on," he admits, looking almost shy. "It's not finished yet."
"You composed that?" You're genuinely impressed.
"Music has always been... an escape," he explains. "Somewhere I can express things I can't say aloud."
"What was that piece saying?" you ask, perching on the edge of the piano bench beside him.
He considers this, fingers ghosting over the keys without pressing them. "It's about living between worlds. Belonging fully to neither." His eyes meet yours. "I started it the night we met."
The admission sends warmth flooding through you. "Play more?" you request softly.
Instead, he reaches for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. "I'd rather talk. Without titles or expectations or diplomatic considerations."
"What should we talk about... Jay?" His nickname feels intimate on your tongue.
His eyes darken at your use of the name. "Anything. Everything. Who you were before Genovia. Who you hope to become."
So you talk—really talk—in a way you haven't been able to since arriving in Genovia. You tell him about college, your friends, your dreams of working in international development. He shares stories of his childhood in Astoria, the weight of expectation, the moments of rebellion carefully hidden from public view.
"I crashed a motorcycle when I was seventeen," he admits, and you try to reconcile this image with the perfect prince you first met. "Snuck out of the palace, borrowed a security guard's bike, ended up with three broken ribs and a lecture from my father I still haven't forgotten."
"I can't imagine you being that reckless," you laugh.
"I'm not, usually," he acknowledges. "But sometimes the pressure builds until something has to give."
You understand that feeling all too well. "What happened after?"
"I was sent to military academy to 'channel my energies appropriately,'" he says with a wry smile. "It actually helped. Gave me structure, purpose beyond simply being the crown prince."
As you talk, the distance between you gradually diminishes. His hand finds yours again, thumb tracing patterns on your palm that send shivers up your arm. Your shoulders touch, then your knees. The air between you grows charged with possibility.
"I haven't stopped thinking about last night," he admits, voice dropping lower. "About kissing you."
"Neither have I," you confess.
This time, there's no hesitation. He leans in, capturing your lips with his, one hand coming up to cup your face. The kiss deepens immediately, as if you're both making up for lost time. You shift closer on the bench, your hand finding its way to his chest, feeling his heart racing beneath your palm.
His kisses are more confident than the night before, exploring rather than questioning. Your fingers thread through his hair, marveling at its softness. When his tongue traces the seam of your lips, you open to him without hesitation, a small sound of pleasure escaping you.
The bench is awkward, limiting movement, so when he pulls back slightly, breathing heavily, you stand, tugging him with you. He follows willingly, but instead of returning to your kiss, he guides you to a small sofa in the corner of the room.
"More comfortable," he explains, settling beside you.
This new position allows for closer contact. When his lips find yours again, his arm wraps around your waist, drawing you against him. Your bodies align perfectly, and heat builds between you with each passing moment. His kisses move from your lips to your jaw, then your neck, discovering sensitive spots that make you gasp.
"Is this okay?" he murmurs against your skin.
"More than okay," you assure him, tilting your head to give him better access.
Your hands explore hesitantly at first, then with growing confidence—the broad expanse of his shoulders, the firm muscles of his chest, the surprising warmth of his skin through the thin fabric of his shirt. His own explorations become bolder, one hand sliding up your side, thumb brushing the outer curve of your breast.
Even this innocent touch sends electricity through you. You arch into his hand, silently encouraging more. He obeys your wordless request, cupping you fully through your blouse, thumb circling in a way that makes you bite your lip to stay quiet.
"You're so beautiful," he whispers, eyes dark with desire. "From the moment I saw you..."
You silence him with another kiss, not trusting yourself with words. Your body is taking control, wants overwhelming rational thought. When his hand slips beneath the hem of your blouse, warm against your bare skin, you shiver with anticipation.
His fingers trace patterns up your ribcage, hesitating at the edge of your bra. "May I?" he asks, ever the gentleman even in this moment.
"Yes," you breathe, beyond caring about propriety or consequences.
The first touch of his hand against your bare breast draws a soft moan from you that he captures with his mouth. His thumb circles your nipple through the thin lace, sending waves of pleasure through your body. You press closer, wanting more, needing more.
Your own hands grow bolder, tugging his shirt from his waistband, slipping beneath to explore the warm skin of his back. You feel the subtle ridge of a scar near his shoulder blade, a humanizing imperfection that makes him even more attractive somehow.
"What's this from?" you ask, fingertips tracing the mark.
"Fencing accident," he murmurs against your neck. "Age twelve. Opponent didn't pull his strike."
You press your lips to his jaw, then his neck, enjoying the way his breath catches. "Any other scars I should know about?"
His laugh is low, slightly uneven. "Several. But discovering them might require more privacy than a music room allows."
The reminder of your surroundings is like a splash of cold water. Anyone could walk in—a guard, a staff member, your grandmother. The scandal would be immediate and irreparable.
Reluctantly, you pull back slightly, though your body protests the loss of contact. "You're right. This isn't the place."
His forehead rests against yours, both of you breathing heavily. "I got carried away," he admits. "You have a... significant effect on me."
"Likewise," you assure him, pressing one more quick kiss to his lips before putting slight distance between you. "But you're right. We should be careful."
He helps you straighten your clothes, then adjusts his own, running a hand through his disheveled hair in a futile attempt to tame it. The sight of him—rumpled, flushed, looking nothing like the perfect prince the world knows—fills you with a secret satisfaction.
"When can I see you again?" he asks, taking your hand. "Like this, I mean. Just us."
"I don't know," you admit. "My schedule is packed for the next few days. Royal duties and all that."
"I have to return to Astoria briefly," he tells you, disappointment evident in his voice. "Diplomatic matters requiring the crown prince's attention. But I'll be back for the royal ball."
The royal ball—your official introduction to Genovian society. The thought fills you with anxiety, but now also anticipation at the prospect of seeing him again.
"Dance with me at the ball?" you request.
"Every dance they'll allow," he promises. He hesitates, then adds, "Though propriety will demand you dance with other suitable candidates as well."
"Other suitors, you mean," you clarify, the political reality of your situation reasserting itself.
His expression tightens slightly, but he nods. "Yes. The royal council will expect you to consider all options."
"And what do you expect?" you challenge softly.
His answer is immediate and sincere. "Only that you follow your heart, wherever it leads." He lifts your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "Even if it's not to me."
The selflessness of this statement catches you off guard. "That's... not what I expected you to say."
"What did you expect?"
"Something more possessive, maybe," you admit. "More princelike."
He smiles, that real smile that transforms his face. "I'm trying very hard not to be the prince with you, remember? Just Jay."
"Well, Just Jay," you say, returning his smile, "I can't make any promises about where my heart will lead. But right now, it seems rather fixated on a certain piano-playing prince with surprisingly skilled hands."
-
The next few days pass in a blur of preparations. There are fittings for your ball gown (a process that involves no fewer than seven people and countless discussions of hemlines and necklines and something called "appropriate royal décolletage"). There are dance lessons with Monsieur Laurent, who seems personally offended that Prince Jongseong isn't there to partner you. There are briefings about every guest who will attend, complete with flash cards for memorizing names and titles.
"The Duchess of Wellington prefers to discuss her charitable foundation, not her recent divorce," Charlotte instructs as you review the guest list. "And under no circumstances ask the Spanish ambassador about Gibraltar."
"This is worse than finals week," you grumble, flipping through the stack of cards. "At least then I was only tested on one subject at a time."
"Society is judging you on everything simultaneously," Charlotte confirms cheerfully. "Appearance, knowledge, grace, diplomacy..."
"Thanks. That's very reassuring."
The night before the ball, you find yourself restless, missing both Jay's presence and the calming effect of your midnight conversations. Over the past month, you've grown accustomed to his company, to having someone who understands both your old world and your new one. This week without him has left you feeling strangely adrift.
You wander down to the music room, hoping to recapture some of that peace, but the room feels empty without him. You sit at the piano, pressing random keys, creating nothing like the beautiful melodies he coaxed from the instrument. On impulse, you check under the bench, then inside the piano itself, hoping for another note, but find nothing.
It's silly to feel disappointed. He's a crown prince with actual responsibilities, not a lovestruck teenager leaving notes for his crush. Still, you can't help wishing for some connection, some indication that he's thinking of you too.
Back in your room, you're about to climb into bed when there's a soft knock at your door. Olivia enters with a small silver tray.
"This just arrived for you, Your Highness," she says, presenting what appears to be a letter sealed with dark blue wax.
Your heart skips as you recognize the crest pressed into the seal—the royal emblem of Astoria. You wait until Olivia leaves before breaking it open with trembling fingers.
Inside, written in that now-familiar elegant handwriting:
Y/N, Diplomatic obligations keep me in Astoria longer than anticipated, but I'll return tomorrow in time for the ball. Save a dance for me—preferably more than one. This week has felt like an eternity. I've missed our conversations, our moments away from public scrutiny. I find myself at my piano each night, working on the piece I started after we met. It's nearly complete now. Perhaps I'll play it for you soon. The past month has been unexpected in every way. When I first agreed to my father's request to help with your royal transition, I never imagined... Some things are better said in person. Until tomorrow, J P.S. I still feel your touch on my skin.
-
The day of the royal ball arrives with military precision. Your schedule is planned down to the minute—when you'll bathe (9:15 AM), when your hair will be styled (11:30 AM), when makeup will be applied (2:45 PM). It's as if you're a product being assembled rather than a person preparing for an event.
"I can bathe myself, you know," you inform Charlotte when she reviews the schedule over breakfast. "I've been doing it successfully for two decades."
"Today is not about efficiency, Your Highness," Charlotte replies. "It's about tradition. The royal ball has marked the formal introduction of new members of the royal family for generations."
You think about Jay's letter, tucked safely under your pillow. Tonight isn't just about tradition for you. After a month in the palace, you've reached a turning point—not just in your royal journey, but in whatever is developing between you and Jay.
The day progresses according to schedule, each hour bringing you closer to the evening's festivities. By the time you're finally dressed, you hardly recognize yourself in the mirror.
Your ball gown is a masterpiece of midnight blue silk that seems to change colors as you move—now sapphire, now indigo, now almost black. The bodice is fitted, adorned with subtle crystal beading that catches the light like stars, while the skirt flows outward in graceful folds. Your hair has been swept up in an elegant style that manages to look both regal and youthful, and atop it all sits a delicate tiara—platinum vines intertwined with small diamonds.
"You look every inch a princess," your grandmother declares when she sees you, genuine approval warming her voice.
"I feel like I'm wearing someone else's life," you admit.
She approaches, adjusting your tiara slightly. "It is your life now. You've taken to it more naturally than anyone expected—including yourself, I suspect."
There's a knowing look in her eyes that makes you wonder how much she's guessed about your feelings for Jay. Your grandmother misses little, and your increasingly frequent "diplomatic discussions" with Prince Jongseong over the past month have hardly been subtle.
"Remember," she continues, "tonight you represent not just yourself, but Genovia. Every interaction matters."
"No pressure," you mutter.
"Considerable pressure," she corrects, but with a hint of a smile. "That's the nature of our position."
The ball is being held in the palace's Grand Ballroom, a space so opulent it makes even the other royal rooms seem understated in comparison. Crystal chandeliers hang from vaulted ceilings painted with mythological scenes. Massive floral arrangements perfume the air. A full orchestra plays softly as guests begin to arrive.
You stand with your grandmother at the entrance, greeting each person as Charlotte announces them. Your hand is kissed so many times it begins to feel like a separate entity from your body. You cycle through the diplomatic phrases you've memorized, trying to match names to faces to countries to appropriate topics of conversation.
You continue greeting guests, anxiety gradually giving way to a strange confidence. After a month of intensive training, you're actually doing this—being a princess, representing Genovia, handling diplomatic small talk without major incident. The realization is both surprising and empowering.
And then finally, after what feels like hours, Charlotte announces, "His Royal Highness, Prince Jongseong of Astoria."
Your heart stutters as he appears, resplendent in formal attire—a midnight blue military-style jacket with silver accents that perfectly complements your gown, as if coordinated. (Knowing your grandmother's attention to detail, it probably was.) He looks every inch the crown prince, and yet all you can see is Jay—your Jay—hidden beneath the formal facade.
His eyes find yours immediately, warming in a way that feels intimate despite the crowded room. He bows formally to your grandmother, exchanging pleasantries, before turning to you.
"Your Highness," he says, taking your hand. Instead of the customary kiss to your knuckles, he turns your hand gently and presses his lips to the inside of your wrist, just above your pulse point.
The gesture is technically within the bounds of protocol but charged with meaning only you understand. You feel your heartbeat quicken beneath his lips, and know he can feel it too.
"Prince Jongseong," you manage, your voice steadier than you expected. "Welcome back to Genovia."
"I understand congratulations are in order," he says smoothly. "The press has been most favorable regarding your public appearances this week."
"The princess has exceeded expectations," your grandmother agrees, watching this interaction with interest.
His eyes never leave yours. "I'm not surprised."
The moment stretches between you, full of unspoken feelings built over these past weeks, before Charlotte's announcement of the next guest breaks the spell. Jay bows again and moves into the ballroom, but not before one last glance that promises more to come.
Once all guests have arrived, the formal dancing begins. Your grandmother opens the ball with the Prime Minister, and then it's your turn. Tradition dictates that your first dance be with the highest-ranking unmarried nobleman present—which happens to be Jay.
He approaches as the orchestra begins a stately waltz, extending his hand. "May I have this dance, Your Highness?"
You place your hand in his, grateful for all those practice sessions over the past month. "You may."
His hand settles at your waist, familiar yet different in this public setting. You move together perfectly, your earlier clumsiness long gone, replaced by a confidence born of compatibility and practice.
"You look breathtaking," he says quietly as he guides you through a turn. "That color suits you."
"Thank you. You look..." You search for a word that encompasses how he affects you without being inappropriate for public consumption. "Regal."
The corner of his mouth twitches. "Is that a compliment or a complaint?"
"Both," you admit. "I miss Jay. Prince Jongseong is very impressive, but..."
"But not who you want to be with," he finishes, understanding immediately. His hand tightens slightly at your waist. "He's still here. Just... constrained by circumstance."
"Can he break free later?" you ask boldly. "Perhaps after the ball?"
His eyes darken. "He'll find a way."
The orchestra's final notes signal the end of your dance, forcing you to separate. Jay bows formally, though his eyes convey much more intimate thoughts.
"Until later, Princess," he says, voice low with promise.
The rest of the evening becomes an exercise in diplomatic multitasking. You dance with Prince Nikolai, finding his conversation refreshingly direct. You dance with the French ambassador's son, the Duke of Wellington, and several other names from your grandmother's list of suitable candidates.
Each dance, each conversation, feels like a performance—you playing the role of princess, potential bride, future queen. Only your brief interactions with Jay feel real, though these are limited to passing glances and the occasional comment as you move in the same diplomatic circles.
During a momentary respite, you find yourself near a set of French doors leading to a terrace. Needing air and solitude, you slip outside, grateful for the cool night breeze after the stuffiness of the ballroom.
You've only enjoyed the peace for a moment when a familiar voice says, "Escaping your own ball?"
You turn to find Jay stepping through the doors, looking concerned.
"Just taking a short break," you assure him. "It's a lot to process."
He glances back at the ballroom, then joins you at the stone balustrade. "We shouldn't be alone together," he says, though he makes no move to leave. "Not where anyone might see."
"Yet here you are," you point out.
"Here I am," he agrees. "Unable to stay away despite knowing better."
You study his profile in the moonlight, drinking in the details you've missed during his week away. The strong line of his jaw, the perfect posture that somehow looks less rigid tonight, the subtle way his eyes soften when they meet yours.
"I missed you," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.
His expression gentles. "And I you. Far more than I anticipated."
You glance back at the ballroom, where hundreds of guests dance and mingle, all potential witnesses to this private moment. "A week felt longer than I expected."
"I composed three new pieces," he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice. "Music seems to flow more easily when I'm... feeling something intensely."
"Is that your princely way of saying you thought about me?" you tease.
He turns to face you fully, close enough that you can see the subtle variations of color in his eyes, even in the dim light. "I thought about little else."
Your heart skips at the naked honesty in his voice. Over the past month, you've learned to read the subtle shifts in his expression, to understand what lies beneath his carefully controlled exterior. Tonight, he's making no effort to hide his feelings.
"The ball is beautiful," you say, changing the subject before you do something reckless like kiss him where anyone might see. "I'm surprised I haven't completely embarrassed Genovia yet."
"You could never," he assures you. "You've taken to royal life with remarkable grace."
"I've had a good teacher," you reply, holding his gaze meaningfully.
He steps closer, close enough that the skirt of your gown brushes against his legs. "There's a small courtyard beyond this terrace," he says, his voice low. "More private than here. Would you walk with me? Just for a moment?"
You know you shouldn't. You're the guest of honor at a ball being held in your honor. People will notice your absence. And yet...
"Lead the way," you decide, throwing caution aside.
He offers his arm with perfect formal correctness, as if you're simply taking a proper turn around the terrace. But once you're beyond the sight of the French doors, his hand covers yours where it rests on his arm, a much more intimate touch.
The courtyard is small and enclosed, lit only by the moonlight and a few distant lanterns. A fountain burbles quietly at its center, surrounded by hedges that provide welcome privacy. The music from the ballroom is muffled here, creating the illusion that you've stepped into another world.
The moment you're properly hidden from view, Jay turns to you, one hand coming up to cup your cheek.
"I've been waiting to do this all evening," he murmurs, before his lips find yours.
The kiss is gentle at first, a reacquaintance after a week apart. But it quickly deepens, a month of growing desire making you both less cautious than you should be. Your arms wind around his neck, pulling him closer. His hands settle at your waist, respectful even in passion.
"I missed this," you breathe against his mouth. "Missed you. The real you."
"I'm most real when I'm with you," he confesses, forehead resting against yours. "Everywhere else, I'm playing a role."
"Even in Astoria?"
"Especially there," he sighs. "My father has... specific expectations about how the crown prince should behave."
You pull back slightly to study his face. "You never talk about your father."
A shadow crosses his expression. "There's little to say. He is a traditional ruler with traditional views."
"About Astoria? Or about who you should marry?" you ask, cutting to what you suspect is the heart of the matter.
Jay's silence answers your question.
"He doesn't approve of me," you realize. "Of us."
"He doesn't know you," Jay corrects gently. "He sees only the diplomatic equation—a princess with an uncertain claim versus more established alliances."
The reality of your situation crashes back. No matter how genuine your feelings, how perfect this stolen moment, politics surrounds you both like the walls of this courtyard.
"And what do you see?" you ask, steeling yourself for his answer.
His hands frame your face, his gaze unwavering. "I see you. Not the princess, not the diplomatic opportunity. Just you—stubborn, honest, intelligent, beautiful you."
The sincerity in his voice melts your defenses. You reach up to touch his face, tracing the sharp line of his cheekbone with your fingertips.
"When did this happen?" you wonder aloud. "When did you become so important to me?"
He turns his head to kiss your palm. "I don't know. Somewhere between your first disastrous curtsy and the moment you called me Jay instead of Prince Jongseong."
"It was the piano playing," you decide with a small smile. "I'm a sucker for musicians."
He laughs softly, the sound warming you from within. "I'll compose symphonies for you, if that's what it takes."
"Takes for what?" you challenge gently.
His expression grows serious. "To convince you that what's between us is worth fighting for, regardless of politics or convenience or royal expectations."
The weight of his words settles over you. A month ago, you were a college student worrying about midterms. Now you're a princess with constitutional responsibilities, standing in a moonlit courtyard with a prince who's looking at you like you're the answer to a question he's been asking his whole life.
"Jay," you start, not sure what you're going to say.
"Don't answer now," he interrupts softly. "There's still time. Still much we both need to consider."
He's right, of course. The constitutional deadline looms, but it's still weeks away. Tonight isn't the time for final decisions.
"We should return," he says reluctantly. "Your absence will be noticed."
"Yours too," you point out. "The dashing Crown Prince of Astoria is quite popular, I've noticed."
A hint of a smile touches his lips. "Jealous?"
"Should I be?"
His answer is another kiss, deeper than before, his arms pulling you flush against him. When he finally releases you, you're both breathing heavily.
His eyes darken. "Meet me in the music room. One hour after the ball ends."
Your breath catches. "That's... quite direct."
"You asked," he reminds you, the ghost of a smile playing at his lips. "Will you come?"
The music is drawing to a close, your time together nearly over. "Yes,"
-
Once alone, you change from your nightgown into something less formal but still respectable—dark pants and a simple blouse. You check the clock. Forty minutes until you're supposed to meet Jay in the music room. Enough time to let the palace settle, for guards to assume their night positions, for suspicion to fade.
The music room is dark when you arrive, only a single lamp burning low near the piano. For a moment, you think you've arrived first—then you spot him, standing by the window, looking out at the gardens below.
"Jay," you say softly.
He turns, and the expression on his face makes your heart skip. He crosses the room in a few long strides, and then his arms are around you, his lips on yours, and all pretense of formality evaporates.
This kiss is different from those that came before—less hesitant, more certain. A month of growing feelings, a week of separation, an evening of pretending indifference—all of it culminates in this moment of honesty between you.
When you finally part, both breathing heavily, he rests his forehead against yours. "I've been wanting to do that all night."
"Even during our dances?" you tease.
"Especially then," he admits. "Having you so close, yet having to maintain proper distance... it was excruciating."
You laugh softly. "Poor prince. Such diplomatic hardship."
"You have no idea," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your temple. "The things I wanted to say to you..."
"Say them now," you encourage, pulling back slightly to see his face.
He studies you in the dim light, his expression serious. "I don't want to overwhelm you."
"Try me," you challenge.
He takes a breath, then leads you to the small sofa where you've sat during previous late-night conversations. Once you're settled side by side, he takes your hand, his thumb tracing patterns on your palm.
"When my father first suggested I assist with your royal transition, I saw it as a diplomatic assignment," he begins. "Astoria helping Genovia, building goodwill, assessing a potential alliance. Very... political."
You nod, encouraging him to continue.
"Then I met you," he says with a small smile. "This defiant, overwhelmed, utterly genuine person who didn't fit any diplomatic template I'd prepared for."
"I was a mess," you remind him.
"You were authentic," he corrects. "Do you know how rare that is in royal circles? How precious?"
His sincerity catches you off guard. "I just didn't know how to be anything else."
"Exactly," he says, squeezing your hand. "And over these past weeks, watching you navigate this new world while somehow maintaining that authenticity... it's been remarkable."
"I find myself thinking about you constantly," he continues. "Looking forward to our conversations. Composing music inspired by your laugh. Wondering what you're doing when we're apart."
"I know it's fast," he acknowledges. "Barely a month since we met. But I also know that when I'm with you, I feel more myself than I ever have. Like I don't have to choose between the crown prince and the person beneath it."
He brings your joined hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "I'm falling in love with you, Y/N. Not the princess. You."
The confession hangs in the air between you, honest and terrifying and beautiful all at once.
"Say something," he urges when you remain silent, a hint of vulnerability in his voice.
Instead of answering with words, you lean forward and kiss him, trying to convey through touch what you're not sure how to express aloud. Your feelings for him have grown so gradually yet so intensely that putting them into language feels impossible.
When you finally break the kiss, you keep your face close to his. "I don't know what this is," you admit. "Everything in my life has changed so completely in the past month. But the one thing that feels real, that feels right, is you."
His eyes search yours. "But?"
"But I'm scared," you confess. "Of feeling this much. Of making decisions based on emotions when the stakes are so high. Of disappointing my grandmother, Genovia, everyone counting on me to make the right choice."
"What if the right diplomatic choice and the right personal choice are the same?" he asks quietly.
"Are they?" you challenge. "Your father doesn't seem to think so."
His expression tightens slightly. "My father sees alliances in terms of historical connections and military strategy. But a union between Astoria and Genovia makes sense on multiple levels—economic, cultural, geographic."
"Very romantic," you tease, trying to lighten the mood.
He smiles, recognizing your deflection. "I'm trying to address your concerns about duty. The personal reasons are..." His voice drops lower. "Well, I think I've made those clear."
Heat blooms in your cheeks at his implication. "Crystal clear."
"We don't have to decide anything tonight," he assures you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "The constitutional deadline is still weeks away."
"And until then?" you ask.
"Until then," he says, shifting closer, "we continue getting to know each other. Without pressure from our families or royal councils or diplomatic expectations."
"Can we really separate those things from who we are?"
"Perhaps not entirely," he admits. "But we can try. Starting with this."
He kisses you again, and for a while, the complications of royal life fade into the background. There's only this moment, this connection, this growing certainty that whatever path you choose, you want him beside you.
Much later, as you reluctantly prepare to return to your separate rooms before the palace awakens, Jay pulls you into one last embrace.
"We should go," he murmurs against your hair, though his arms tighten around you instead of letting go.
"Not yet," you whisper, unwilling to break the spell between you.
Jay studies your face in the dim light, something shifting in his expression. "Come with me," he says suddenly, taking your hand.
"Where?"
"Somewhere more private," he answers, leading you toward the door. "The guards change rotation in five minutes. We'll have a window."
Heart racing with equal parts excitement and nervousness, you follow him through the shadowed corridors. He moves with practiced ease, clearly familiar with the palace's nocturnal rhythms. After several turns, he stops before an ornate door you don't recognize.
"The royal library," he explains, producing a small key. "It's never guarded at night. No one will look for us here."
The library is vast and silent, moonlight streaming through tall windows, illuminating shelves that stretch toward the ceiling. A small fireplace holds the remnants of embers, casting a faint glow across a single chaise longue and a smaller, more intimate piano than the grand one in the music room.
Jay locks the door behind you, then crosses to stoke the dying fire. The flames leap higher, casting dancing shadows across the room. When he turns to face you, something has changed in his expression—something darker, hungrier.
He approaches slowly, giving you every chance to step away, to maintain the careful boundaries you've observed until now. But you don't move, don't want to move, transfixed by the intensity in his gaze.
Now, his breath is warm against your lips, fingers brushing your cheek with a reverence that makes your chest ache. The only light comes from the dying fire in the hearth, flickering shadows across the lone chaise and the grand piano beside it. The rest of the palace sleeps, unaware of the two figures standing too close in the quiet of the library, the air between them thick with something forbidden.
"Tell me to leave," he murmurs, voice wrecked with restraint.
"I won't," you whisper.
And then he kisses you.
It's slow at first, a gentle press of lips meant to savor, to test, to give you one last chance to stop this before it spirals beyond control. But when your fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer instead of pushing him away, something breaks.
Jay groans softly, deepening the kiss, his hands sliding to your waist, gripping you like he's afraid you'll disappear. He backs you up until you collide with the piano, your hips pressing against the polished wood, a soft creak echoing through the empty library.
"God," he breathes against your lips, his forehead resting against yours. "You have no idea what you do to me."
"Then show me," you whisper, tilting your chin up to capture his lips again.
That's all it takes.
Jay's hands slip beneath the fabric of your blouse, fingers finding bare skin, warm and wanting. He lifts you onto the edge of the piano in one smooth motion, the wood cool against your thighs as he steps between them, fitting his body between yours like you were carved for each other.
His lips move from your mouth to your jaw, trailing down your throat, slow, deliberate. Your breath hitches when he reaches the curve of your collarbone, teeth grazing, tongue soothing, leaving heat in his wake.
He pulls back slightly, dark eyes locking with yours as his fingers skim higher up your thigh. "Tell me to stop," he murmurs, voice strained.
Instead, your fingers tangle in his hair, your breath unsteady as you part your legs just a little wider, inviting him in.
His chest rises and falls sharply as his hand slides higher, fingertips brushing over the heat of your core, teasing through the thin lace.
"Fuck," he exhales, his forehead dropping against your shoulder as his fingers press against you, feeling just how wet you already are.
You tremble beneath his touch, hips shifting forward, seeking more friction, more of him.
Jay lets out a soft, desperate laugh against your skin. "So eager," he teases, his breath sending shivers down your spine. "Do you even realize what you do to me?"
"Shut up and do something about it," you whisper, voice wrecked.
His control snaps.
His fingers slide beneath the lace, parting you with a slow, torturous stroke that has your head falling back, mouth parting on a silent gasp.
"Jay," you whimper, your hands clenching his shoulders as his fingers dip lower, circling, teasing, never quite giving you enough.
"Patience," he breathes, but the tremor in his voice betrays him. He's just as wrecked as you are.
Then, finally, he sinks a finger inside you.
Your body clenches around him, a sharp inhale breaking the silence of the library.
"That's it," Jay murmurs, lips brushing your temple, his free hand gripping your thigh to keep you open for him. "Let me hear you, my love."
His fingers work you open slowly, curling, pressing, stroking in time with the shallow thrusts of his hips against your thigh. His mouth never stops—kissing, biting, sucking at your skin, leaving marks that will be hidden beneath your clothes come morning but burn with the memory of him.
Your nails dig into his shoulders as he adds a second finger, stretching you, filling you, his thumb circling exactly where you need him most.
"Fuck," he groans when you roll your hips into his touch, chasing the friction. "You're so wet for me. Do you have any idea what that does to me?"
"Jay—" Your voice catches as he strokes deeper, his fingers curling just right, white-hot pleasure spreading from your core outward.
He presses a soft kiss to your parted lips, swallowing every moan, every gasp, his pace slow and purposeful, like he wants to memorize the way you fall apart beneath him.
"Say my name," he whispers against your mouth, his voice shaking.
"Jay—"
"Louder."
"Jay," you gasp, body trembling as the pleasure coils tighter, too much and not enough all at once.
"Good girl," he breathes, curling his fingers one last time, pressing his lips against yours just as you shatter around him, your back arching against the piano, his name slipping from your lips like a prayer.
He keeps working you through it, slow, lazy strokes that make you shudder, pressing kisses to your throat, your jaw, everywhere he can reach.
And when your breathing slows, his forehead rests against yours, his fingers still buried inside you, the taste of your pleasure still on his lips.
"I should let you go," he murmurs, but his hands don't move, his body still pressed against yours, hard and wanting.
You cup his face, pulling him back down for another kiss, deep and slow and full of everything you can't say.
"Not yet," you whisper.
And just like that, Jay groans, dragging you down from the piano and onto the chaise, his mouth and hands promising you're nowhere near done.
-
The palace is quiet as you slip through the corridors, heart still racing from the evening's events. You pause at a window overlooking the gardens, watching moonlight silver the paths where you first kissed Jay weeks ago. How much has changed since then—how much you have changed.
You're so lost in thought that you don't hear the approaching footsteps until it's too late.
"Your Highness?"
You turn, startled, to find your grandmother standing a few feet away, wrapped in a dressing gown that somehow manages to look regal despite the hour.
"Grandmother," you manage, hoping the dim lighting hides your flushed cheeks and kiss-swollen lips. "I was just... getting some air."
Her expression remains neutral, but her eyes miss nothing. "A common need after such an eventful evening."
You wait for questions or accusations, but instead, she joins you at the window, both of you staring out at the moonlit garden.
"I couldn't sleep on the night of my first royal ball either," she says unexpectedly. "Too much excitement. Too many decisions looming."
You glance at her, surprised by this rare personal revelation. "Was your ball also for... matchmaking purposes?"
A small smile touches her lips. "Of course. Royal balls have rarely been simply for dancing."
"Did it work?" you ask, genuinely curious. "Did you find someone suitable?"
"I did." Her voice softens with memory. "Though not whom my parents expected."
"Grandfather?"
She nods. "He was considered politically inconvenient. The third son of a minor royal house with more titles than fortune. My parents had their sights set on a neighbor with stronger military forces."
You absorb this information, struggling to reconcile it with the pragmatic queen you've come to know. "But you chose him anyway."
"Love is not a luxury afforded to royalty," she says, her tone measured. "But sometimes, if one is very fortunate, duty and affection may align."
The implication hangs between you. She knows. Perhaps not the details, but enough.
"Is that what happened with you and Grandfather?" you ask.
Her smile deepens. "We built something real from an arrangement that began as political. Not love at first sight, perhaps, but a deep and abiding partnership that grew into something... essential."
You think of Jay—of the way he looks at you when no one else is watching, of his hands on your skin just hours ago, of his confession in the music room.
"I'm not sure what to do," you admit quietly.
Your grandmother turns to face you fully. "You've grown quite... fond of Prince Jongseong."
It's not a question, but you answer anyway. "Yes."
"And he of you," she observes. "That much has been evident for weeks."
Your head snaps up. "You've known?"
"I have eyes, my dear. And considerably more experience with clandestine palace romances than you might imagine."
For a moment, you glimpse a different woman beneath the queenly facade—younger, perhaps, with her own secrets and desires.
"I don't want to choose wrong," you confess. "For myself or for Genovia."
"The choice is rarely wrong or right," she replies. "Merely different paths, each with its own challenges and rewards."
"That's not very helpful," you point out.
To your surprise, she laughs—a genuine sound rarely heard in palace corridors. "I'm afraid that's the most honest counsel I can offer. But I will add this: I have been watching you these past weeks, Y/N. You have taken to royal life with remarkable adaptability. You have won the respect of the council, the diplomatic corps, and, most importantly, the people of Genovia."
"Have I?" You find this hard to believe.
"Indeed. Which means you have earned the right to make this choice for yourself, with Genovia's interests in mind but not at the expense of your own happiness."
Her hand touches your cheek briefly—a rare gesture of affection. "Besides, I have not spent thirty years preserving this monarchy only to see its next ruler miserable in a politically expedient marriage."
With that cryptic statement, she turns to leave. At the end of the corridor, she pauses.
"One more thing, Y/N."
"Yes, Grandmother?"
"The southeast wing has far fewer night patrols than the east wing." Her eyes twinkle momentarily. "For future reference."
She disappears around the corner, leaving you speechless in the moonlight.
The next morning, a note arrives with your breakfast tray.
Meet me in the rose garden at noon. There are matters we must discuss before the council meeting tomorrow. —J
The formality of the message concerns you, so different from his usual warmth. You spend the morning distracted during your language lesson, earning several pointed looks from your Genovian tutor as you massacre conjugations.
By noon, you're a bundle of nerves as you make your way to the garden. You find Jay seated on a stone bench, his posture rigid, his expression guarded. He stands when he sees you, bowing formally.
"Your Highness."
The title and distance hurt more than you expected. "Are we back to that now?"
His expression softens momentarily before the mask returns. "I've received a summons from my father. I'm to return to Astoria immediately."
Your stomach drops. "For how long?"
"That's what we need to discuss." He gestures to the bench, and you sit, carefully maintaining space between you. "My father has learned of... our connection."
"How?" You've been so careful.
"It seems Prince Nikolai mentioned to his father how taken you and I seemed with each other. The Danish king mentioned it to the Austrian ambassador, who informed my father's adviser."
"That's..."
"Royal gossip," Jay supplies with a grim smile. "It travels faster than light."
You process this information, anxiety building. "What does your father want?"
"He believes our association has progressed beyond diplomatic utility," Jay says carefully, clearly choosing each word. "He reminds me that Astoria's interests lie in stronger alliances with certain Eastern European powers, not with a... 'newly discovered princess of questionable legitimacy.'"
The words sting, though you know they're not his. "I see."
"No, you don't," he says firmly, his composed facade cracking. "Those are his words, not mine. Never mine."
"But you're still leaving."
He runs a hand through his hair, a rare display of frustration. "He's the king. I cannot simply ignore a direct summons."
"And when you return to Astoria?" you press. "What then?"
Jay's eyes meet yours, conflict evident in their depths. "He expects me to begin formal courtship proceedings with Princess Elena of Belgravia."
The name hits you like a physical blow. Princess Elena—beautiful, accomplished, born and raised royal, and the daughter of one of the wealthiest monarchs in Eastern Europe.
"I see," you say again, because what else is there to say?
"I've requested a private audience with my father before any announcements are made," Jay continues. "I intend to make my case for... an alternative arrangement."
Hope flickers faintly. "What kind of alternative?"
"My own choice," he says simply.
You both know what that means. Who that means.
"When do you leave?" you ask.
"Tomorrow morning."
So soon. Too soon.
"The council meets tomorrow afternoon," you tell him. "To discuss my... suitors. To begin formalizing the process."
"I know." His hand twitches as if to reach for yours, but he restrains himself. You're in plain view of the palace windows. "My timing could not be worse."
You laugh, though there's no humor in it. "When has timing ever been on our side?"
He smiles sadly. "Perhaps just once, when a certain princess couldn't sleep and wandered into a garden at midnight."
The memory warms you despite everything. "What should I do about the council?"
"Stall," he suggests. "Ask for more time to consider. The constitutional deadline is still three weeks away."
"And if you don't return by then? If your father refuses your 'alternative arrangement'?"
The question hangs between you, heavy with implication. Jay's jaw tightens.
"Then you must do what's best for Genovia," he says finally. "As I must do what's best for Astoria."
"Even if that means..."
"Even then," he confirms, though the words clearly pain him.
You sit in silence, the carefully tended roses blooming around you in vibrant contrast to your darkening mood.
"Tonight," Jay says suddenly. "Meet me in the library. Midnight."
Your heartbeat quickens at the memory of your last library encounter. "The guards—"
"Will be occupied with a minor disturbance in the north wing," he finishes. "I've arranged it."
You raise an eyebrow. "How very un-princely of you."
A hint of his real smile appears. "I thought you preferred me un-princely."
"I prefer you," you correct softly.
His eyes darken, and for a moment you think he might forget propriety entirely and kiss you right there in the sunlight. Instead, he stands, straightening his jacket with a deliberate motion that reestablishes distance.
"Until tonight, Your Highness," he says formally, loud enough for any listening ears.
The library is bathed in moonlight when you slip inside at midnight. Jay is already there, pacing between the tall shelves.
The moment the door closes behind you, he crosses the room in swift strides, gathering you into his arms. His mouth finds yours with desperate intensity, and you respond in kind, clutching at his shoulders, his back, anywhere you can reach.
"I can't bear the thought of leaving you," he murmurs against your lips.
"Then don't," you reply, knowing it's impossible even as you say it.
He pulls back just enough to meet your eyes, his hands framing your face. "If there was any other way..."
"I know," you assure him. "I understand duty. Better than I did a month ago, anyway."
He smiles at that, though sadness lingers in his eyes. "You've become quite the princess."
"A reluctant one," you remind him.
"The best kind," he counters, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "The kind who questions, who challenges, who sees beyond tradition to possibility."
His faith in you is staggering. "What if I can't do this without you?"
"You can," he says with certainty. "You already have been. I've just been fortunate enough to witness it."
He leads you to the chaise where you lost yourself in him just nights ago. This time, though, he simply sits, pulling you close against his side.
"I've been thinking," he begins, his fingers tracing patterns on your arm. "About us. About what happens after I speak with my father."
"And?"
"There are several possibilities," he says, the diplomat in him emerging. "He may agree to consider an alliance with Genovia through... us. It's not without precedent or merit, despite his current reservations."
"But you don't think he will," you observe.
Jay sighs. "He is... traditional. Set in his views. Convinced of certain alliances' superiority."
"So what happens if he refuses?"
He's quiet for a long moment. "Then I have a decision to make. One I've been contemplating for some time."
Your heart quickens. "What decision?"
"Whether my duty to Astoria's future must follow the exact path my father envisions," he says carefully. "Or whether I might serve my country better by following my own judgment."
The implications of this statement hang between you.
"You would defy him?" you ask, voice barely above a whisper.
"I would reason with him first," Jay clarifies. "With every diplomatic skill I possess. But if he remains unmoved..." He takes a deep breath. "Then yes, I would consider... alternatives."
"What kind of alternatives?"
He turns to face you fully. "I will be king one day, regardless of whom I marry. My father's insistence on certain alliances reflects old thinking—military might and territorial advantage. But Astoria's future lies in economic partnership, cultural exchange, technological advancement. Areas where Genovia has much to offer."
"That sounds very rational," you observe. "Very diplomatic."
A smile touches his lips. "I'm trying to frame my personal desires in terms my father might respect."
"And what are your personal desires?" you ask boldly.
His eyes darken. "I think I've made those quite clear." His hand comes up to cup your cheek. "But if you need me to be more explicit..."
His kiss leaves no doubt, deep and claiming and full of promise. When he finally pulls away, you're both breathing heavily.
"I love you," he says simply. "I want a future with you. As Prince of Astoria, as future king, but most importantly, as Jay—the man I can only truly be when I'm with you."
Tears spring to your eyes at the raw honesty in his voice. "I love you too," you whisper, the words feel both terrifying and inevitable. "I don't want to lose this. Lose you."
"Then trust me," he urges. "Trust that I will find a way back to you. Trust that what we've found is worth fighting for."
"What should I tell the council tomorrow?"
"The truth," he says. "That you're still considering your options. That you need the full three weeks to make your decision."
"And if they press me?"
"Then you might mention that one option includes a harmonious union between Genovia and Astoria that would benefit both nations for generations to come." A hint of mischief enters his expression. "Be vague on the details."
You laugh despite the heaviness in your chest. "Very diplomatic."
"I've had excellent training," he reminds you.
You lean your head against his shoulder, savoring the solid warmth of him. "How long will you be gone?"
"A week. Perhaps two. I'll send word when I can, but communications may be... monitored."
The reminder of your precarious situation sobers you. "And if you don't return before the deadline?"
He's quiet for a moment. "Then you must do what you believe is right. For yourself and for Genovia."
"That's not the answer I wanted," you admit.
"It's the honest one," he replies. "I will do everything in my power to return to you with a path forward for us. But I would never ask you to risk Genovia's stability on my promise alone."
It's painful, but you understand. The weight of nations rests on both your shoulders. Your wants cannot be the only consideration.
"How did we get here?" you wonder aloud. "Two months ago I was worried about midterms and student loans."
"And I was dutifully attending diplomatic functions, playing the perfect prince," he adds. "Never imagining that a reluctant American princess would upend everything I thought I knew about duty and desire."
You smile at his characterization. "We're quite the pair, aren't we?"
"Indeed we are," he agrees, pressing a kiss to your temple. "And I intend to keep it that way, regardless of what my father or your council might prefer."
The conviction in his voice bolsters your courage. "So what now?"
"Now," he says, pulling you closer, "we have approximately five hours before dawn. I can think of several ways to spend them that don't involve diplomatic strategy."
"How scandalous, Your Highness," you tease, though heat pools in your core at his implication.
"You bring out my rebellious side," he murmurs, lips finding the sensitive spot below your ear that makes you shiver. "Among other things."
Words give way to touch as you lose yourselves in each other one last time before duty calls you back to separate worlds. Every kiss, every caress feels weighted with significance—a promise, a memory to sustain you through the uncertainty ahead.
Hours later, as dawn threatens the eastern sky, you lie tangled together on the chaise, his heartbeat steady beneath your ear.
"I should go," he whispers, though his arms tighten around you. "I'm expected at the airfield in three hours."
"Five more minutes," you plead, not ready to relinquish this moment.
He presses a kiss to your hair. "Five more minutes," he agrees.
-
The council chamber feels cavernous and oppressive as thirteen pairs of eyes study you with varying degrees of interest, skepticism, and calculation. Your grandmother sits at the head of the long table, her expression carefully neutral as the Prime Minister outlines the constitutional requirements yet again.
"The deadline approaches, Your Highness," he concludes, peering at you over his spectacles. "The council requires your decision regarding a suitable match so that proper arrangements can be made within the constitutional timeframe."
You take a deep breath, remembering Jay's advice and your grandmother's unexpected counsel.
"I understand the urgency," you begin, your voice steadier than you expected. "And I appreciate the council's diligence in presenting suitable candidates for consideration. However, I believe the constitution allows me the full three weeks to make my decision, and I intend to use that time."
Murmurs circulate around the table. The Minister of State leans forward, his bushy eyebrows drawing together.
"Your Highness, while technically correct, it would be prudent to announce your intentions sooner. Diplomatic arrangements require time, wedding preparations must be made, public announcements coordinated..."
"And all of that will happen," you assure him, "once my decision is final. But this is not merely a diplomatic arrangement—it is a marriage. One that will affect not only my life but the future of Genovia. I believe such a decision deserves careful consideration."
Your grandmother's lips twitch—almost a smile—before her expression returns to regal impassivity.
"Perhaps," offers Lady Rothschild, the only female council member besides your grandmother, "Her Highness might share which candidates she is most seriously considering? To allow for preliminary preparations?"
All eyes return to you, expectant. You think of Jay, likely in the air now, flying back to face his father and an uncertain future.
"I am considering several options," you say carefully. "Including the possibility of a union that would align Genovia's interests with Astoria, combining our complementary strengths in trade, technology, and cultural influence."
The Foreign Minister straightens in his chair. "Astoria? Has Prince Jongseong made an official overture?"
"Prince Jongseong and I have discussed the potential benefits of such an alliance," you reply, technically truthful while omitting the nature of those discussions. "While nothing is formalized, I believe the possibility warrants serious consideration."
This sets off another round of murmurs, more animated than before. You catch your grandmother watching you with something like approval in her eyes.
"Astoria has historically sought alliances eastward," the Defense Minister points out. "King Min-hyuk is known for his traditional leanings."
"Traditions evolve," you counter. "And wise rulers adapt to changing circumstances."
The Prime Minister clears his throat. "While an Astorian alliance would indeed offer significant advantages, we must be prepared for all outcomes. I suggest the council continue preparation for multiple possibilities while Her Highness completes her... deliberations."
It's a reasonable compromise, and you nod agreement. "I appreciate the council's patience and wisdom in this matter. I assure you that my decision will prioritize Genovia's interests while honoring the constitutional requirements."
The meeting concludes with formal pleasantries, though you feel the weight of speculation following you as you exit the chamber. Your grandmother falls into step beside you in the corridor.
"Well played," she murmurs, just loud enough for you to hear. "Though I believe you've given Lord Pallimore indigestion with the suggestion of Astorian negotiations he knew nothing about."
You can't help but smile. "I merely stated facts. Prince Jongseong and I have indeed discussed the potential benefits of such an arrangement."
"I imagine you have," she replies dryly. "Quite thoroughly."
Heat rises to your cheeks. "Grandmother!"
"I may be old, my dear, but I'm not oblivious." She pats your arm. "Now we wait. And prepare for all possible outcomes, as the Prime Minister so diplomatically suggested."
"Do you think there's a chance?" you ask, unable to keep the vulnerability from your voice. "For Jay and me?"
Your grandmother considers this carefully. "I think Prince Jongseong is more resourceful than his father realizes. And I think King Min-hyuk, for all his traditional bluster, is a pragmatist at heart." She glances at you with unexpected gentleness. "But most importantly, I think you have discovered something genuine in each other. Such connections are rare in royal circles, and not easily broken—even by kings."
Her words offer comfort as the days stretch into a week, then ten days, with no word from Jay. You go through the motions of royal duties—charity visits, diplomatic receptions, cultural events—while your thoughts remain fixed on Astoria and the man fighting for your shared future.
On the eleventh day, when hope begins to falter, a small package arrives. No return address, no accompanying note, just a small box wrapped in simple brown paper.
Inside, nestled in velvet, lies an antique key on a delicate silver chain. You recognize it immediately—the library key Jay used on your last night together. Attached is a small card bearing only a date: three days hence, exactly one day before the constitutional deadline.
The message is clear: He's coming back. He's found a way.
For the first time in eleven days, you breathe fully.
-
The palace gardens are awash in golden late afternoon light as you pace the gravel path. You've changed outfits three times, settled on a simple blue dress that Jay once said brought out your eyes, then second-guessed that choice a dozen times since.
The sound of approaching footsteps has you turning, heart in your throat.
Jay stands at the garden entrance, still in traveling clothes, his hair slightly tousled from the journey. He looks exhausted but determined, his eyes finding yours with an intensity that steals your breath.
For a moment, neither of you moves, the weight of eleven days' separation and uncertainty holding you in place. Then you're running, propriety forgotten, and he meets you halfway, catching you in an embrace that lifts you off your feet.
"You're here," you breathe against his neck, inhaling his familiar scent. "You came back."
"I promised I would," he reminds you, setting you down but keeping you close. "Nothing could have prevented it."
You pull back just far enough to see his face, searching for clues about his meeting with his father. "What happened? What did he say?"
Jay glances around—you're in plain view of several palace windows. "Not here. Is there somewhere we can speak privately?"
You think for a moment, then smile. "Follow me."
You lead him through the palace to a small sitting room in the southeast wing—the area your grandmother so casually mentioned has fewer night patrols. It's a cozy space with comfortable furnishings and, most importantly, a lock on the door.
Once inside, Jay pulls you into his arms again, his kiss desperate and relieved and full of eleven days' worth of longing. You respond with equal fervor, hands clutching at his shoulders, his back, reassuring yourself that he's really here.
When you finally separate, both breathing heavily, he presses his forehead to yours. "I missed you. Every minute of every day."
"I missed you too," you whisper. "The waiting was... unbearable."
He leads you to a small sofa, sitting close, your hands still intertwined. "I have much to tell you."
"Your father?" you prompt.
Jay takes a deep breath. "It was... complicated. Initially, he was immovable. He had already drafted an announcement of intentions between Astoria and Belgravia."
Your heart sinks. "Oh."
"However," he continues, "I convinced him to hear me out before making anything official. I presented a detailed analysis of Genovia's strategic value as an ally—our complementary economies, technological innovations, cultural significance."
"Very diplomatic," you observe with a small smile.
"I was extraordinarily diplomatic," he agrees, a hint of humor in his eyes. "For five days straight. I enlisted support from progressive council members, provided economic projections, cultural impact studies..."
"And he remained unmoved," Jay admits. "Until I played my final card."
"Which was?"
His eyes lock with yours, unwavering. "I informed him that I would pursue this alliance with or without his blessing. That while I respect his wisdom and experience, my future reign would be guided by my own judgment. And that judgment sees clearly that you—both as princess and as yourself—represent the future Astoria needs."
You absorb this, staggered by the implied defiance. "You threatened to go against his wishes?"
"I made clear that my commitment to Astoria's prosperity is unwavering, but my choice of partner is non-negotiable." His fingers tighten around yours. "I also reminded him that he married for love, against his own father's wishes, and that Astoria has thrived under his reign nonetheless."
"And?" you press, heart pounding.
A smile breaks across Jay's face, transforming his features. "And three days of hostile silence later, he conceded that perhaps Genovia deserves 'further consideration' as a potential ally."
"That's... good?"
"From my father, it's the equivalent of enthusiastic approval," Jay assures you. "Especially with this."
He reaches into his jacket, withdrawing a small velvet box. Your breath catches.
"My grandmother's ring," he explains, opening it to reveal an exquisite sapphire surrounded by diamonds. "Given to her by my grandfather when they formalized their engagement after months of diplomatic negotiation. My father presented it to me this morning before I left."
"Jay," you whisper, staring at the ring. "Does this mean...?"
"It means that I have my father's grudging consent to pursue an alliance with Genovia through marriage," he confirms. "Assuming, of course, that Genovia's princess finds such an arrangement acceptable."
Despite the formal wording, the vulnerability in his eyes is unmistakable. This is not merely a diplomatic proposition.
"The council meets tomorrow for my final decision," you tell him. "The constitutional deadline is the day after."
"Convenient timing," he observes with a small smile.
"Almost as if someone planned it that way," you agree, returning his smile.
He shifts from the sofa to one knee before you, the ring box open in his palm. All traces of the diplomatic prince fade away, leaving only Jay—your Jay—looking up at you with naked hope and love.
"Y/N," he begins, his voice steady despite the emotion in his eyes. "These past weeks have transformed my understanding of duty, of purpose, of love. You've challenged me, surprised me, and shown me a version of myself I never knew existed. I cannot imagine a future—royal or otherwise—without you in it."
Tears blur your vision as he continues.
"I know our beginning was unconventional. I know our path forward will have challenges. But I also know, with absolute certainty, that what we've found together is worth fighting for—worth building a life, a partnership, and two kingdoms around."
He takes your hand, his touch steadying your trembling fingers.
"Will you marry me? Not just as princes and princesses fulfilling constitutional requirements, but as Jay and Y/N, building something real within the framework of our royal duties?"
The question hangs in the air, though your heart already knows the answer. You think of your journey—from reluctant princess to woman standing in her power, from diplomatic arrangement to genuine love, from fear of losing yourself to finding a partner who sees and values all of you.
"Yes," you say simply, your voice thick with emotion. "Yes to all of it—the duty, the challenge, the love. Everything."
He rises, pulling you to your feet and into his arms. "I love you," he murmurs against your lips. "The princess, the diplomat, the woman who still occasionally trips over her formal gowns... all of you."
You laugh through your tears. "And I love you—the perfect prince, the midnight pianist, the man who sees me clearly when I'm still learning to see myself."
His kiss is a pledge, a promise of the future you'll build together—one that honors duty while making space for love.
Tomorrow will bring announcements and celebrations, diplomatic strategies and constitutional requirements fulfilled. But tonight belongs to the two people who found each other beneath the crowns and titles—a connection neither of you expected but both now recognize as the most precious of diplomatic achievements.
A love powerful enough to bridge kingdoms while remaining, at its heart, deeply, uniquely your own.
and they lived happily ever after
the end.
fin.
-
TL: @naurwayyyyy @ziiao @beariegyu @seonhoon @somuchdard @ddolleri @zzhengyu @annybah @elairah @dreamy-carat @geniejunn @kristynaaah @zoemeltiloos @mellowgalaxystrawberry @m3wkledreamy @inlovewithningning @vveebee @lovelycassy @highway-143 @koizekomi @tiny-shiny @simbabyikeu @cristy-101 @bloomiize @dearestdreamies @enhaverse713586 @cybe4ss @starniras @wonuziex @sol3chu @simj4k3 @jakewonist @azzy02 @addictedtohobi @fancypeacepersona @yunjiiin @adoredbyjay @wheretheheckis-ssaki @flawlessapollo6 @stwrlightt @jaeyunsbimbo @fateismoonstruck @kiikiisblog @bbsantc @xeee334 @cherrybeomm @merwdusa @urmomdotcom5678
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𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐈 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐀 𝐁𝐎𝐘 - 𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆

desc. │ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴇᴄʀᴇᴄʏ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱʜɪᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴜᴍʙᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ ᴍᴏꜱᴛ ꜱᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ʙᴏʏ ɪɴ ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ɪꜱ ᴇxᴘᴏꜱᴇᴅ ʙʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴡᴏʀꜱᴛ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ, ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴘɪᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ. ᴅᴇᴀʟɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀᴍᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ ʜᴇᴇꜱᴇᴜɴɢ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ʜᴇʟᴘ ʙᴜᴛ ᴍɪꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ʜᴇʟᴘ ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ʜɪᴍ. ᴀʟʟ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇᴅ ᴀ ʙᴏʏ.
warnings. │ ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱʜɪᴘ, ᴍᴇᴀɴ ʜᴇᴇꜱᴇᴜɴɢ, ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ʜᴇᴇꜱᴇᴜɴɢ, ꜱᴍᴜᴛ ᴍᴅɴɪ, ʙᴜʟʟʏɪɴɢ. ᴍᴇᴀɴ ɢɪʀʟꜱ.
pairing. │ ᴘᴏᴘᴜʟᴀʀ!ʜᴇᴇꜱᴇᴜɴɢ x ᴜɴᴘᴏᴘᴜʟᴀʀ/ɴᴇʀᴅ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
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was i stupid to love you?



in which a lingering glance at Rossi’s wedding threatens your engagement.
content: angst, 4.8k, takes place right after truth or dare (14x15), a lot of dialogue, mention of prison arc, emotional distress, relationship conflict, not proofread a/n: when was the last time you saw me write angst? exactly. this is inspired by malcolm & marie bc i really like the idea of having an argument while moving around the house (also disclaimer i have nothing against JJ i just like being dramatic)
The lock clicks open. The door swings with a creak. Your heels tap against the hardwood in a hollow rhythm that feels almost too loud. There’s a tightness in your chest, that prickling behind your eyes, and a familiar ache pressing up from the pit of your stomach, churning into a faint nausea that you try to ignore. You’re trying to hold it back.
Not here.
Not now.
Spencer doesn’t even look up. The keys slip from his hand with a soft clink as they hit the side table, and he turns away with a quiet sigh that reverberates deep in your bones.
“Are you hungry?” he asks, tossing a glance toward the kitchen. “Think we could order something?”
You trail after him, the sharp click of your heels echoing as you step onto the kitchen tile. “We just came back from a wedding.”
He’s rifling through the cupboard, his fingers brushing over the mismatched mugs and neatly stacked plates before he pulls down two glasses. “I barely ate anything at the reception.”
You watch him, biting back a response as memories flicker to mind. The slice of cake he’d poked at absentmindedly, washing it down with sips of water instead of real food.
It wasn’t hunger he seemed focused on tonight. No, it was his quiet glances across the room you keep on catching from the corner of your eye, and that conversation he’d had at the bar. The one where his posture softened, his gaze so intent you’d found yourself staring at the back of his head, trying not to read too much into it—and obviously failing.
“Why didn’t you eat?”
He shrugs, his back still to you as he fills the glasses with water. “I don’t know,” he says, sounding almost absent, like it’s something he hasn’t really thought about. “I didn’t get around to it, I guess.”
The muscles in your jaw ticks as you bite the inside of your cheeks.
Spencer turns, offering you a glass. “I was thinking of Chinese, or maybe we can check if that Thai place you like is still open.”
You take the glass from him, barely sparing it a glance before setting it back down on the counter. “Whatever you want is fine.”
A subtle crease appears between his brows. “You sure? You usually have some opinion when it comes to food.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You don’t want to eat anything?”
You suppress a sigh. "No. I'm tired."
The soft amber of his eyes dims slightly as he studies you. There's a flicker of uncertainty passing through them before he nods. “Alright,” he concedes. “We don’t have to order anything.”
A faint, humorless laugh escapes you before you can stop it. It tastes bitter, a little unfair, but it slips out before you can pull it back, “You don’t have to change your plans on my account, Spencer.”
“I’m not changing any plans,” he responds. “I’m just making sure you have something to eat in case you’re hungry.”
Your shoes dig uncomfortably into your feet. You shift your weight, starting to pace a few steps back and forth. "It's dinner, you don't have to check on me for every little thing. Do whatever you like."
He blinks, looking genuinely perplexed. "What are you saying? I was trying to be considerate."
"Right. Considerate.”
There’s an unmistakable bite in your tone.
“Yes, because we like doing these things together," he observes, watching your uneasy pacing. "Am I missing something here?”
You shake your head. “Nope.”
"Honey."
The term of endearment lands softly, slipping from his lips like he believes it has the power to melt whatever tension has suddenly crept between you. But it only tightens the knot building in your stomach. It’s stirring the words you’re trying to hold back, tangling them somewhere between your chest and throat.
He calls your name this time, his eyes narrowing into sharp lines. “You’ve been awfully quiet on our way home, and now you’re… honestly, I don’t know why you're acting this way.” His voice dips with a tinge of exasperation. "What’s this really about?"
The words you’ve been biting back feel like a stack of stones in your throat, rising up, up, up, each one pressed tighter by the gnawing nausea in your stomach. You can feel them gathering, and before you know it, they tumble out messily.
“I’m just saying, don’t let me hold you back from getting what you want. I wouldn’t want to stop you from anything—or, god forbid," you add, letting your gaze drift away as if a little distance might soften the blow, “anyone.”
The soft, almost stifled inhale he takes is audible. You don’t even have to look up to see his expression shifting. You’ve known him long enough to recognize the way his shoulders tense, the way his breathing slows as he processes your words. You know his reaction by heart, yet right now, you wonder if saying this was a mistake, if this is the start of something neither of you can take back.
His fingers twitching at his side slip into your line of sight. He's angry.
Maybe this isn’t the time to start a fight.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Your heels click softly as you turn.
“Forget it. I shouldn't have said anything,” you mutter, already moving toward the bedroom that’s been yours, too, for the past year. Although it feels strange tonight, like a space that belongs to someone else. A life you’re not entirely sure you belong in.
“No." His voice is somewhere behind you. “I think you should explain to me what you mean by that.”
You don’t respond, choosing instead to sink onto the edge of the bed, hands fumbling as you try to undo the straps of your heels. You twist the stubborn leather with more force. His shadow fills the doorway.
“Honey.”
Not again.
You decide to ignore him.
“Is there something you’d like to say to me?”
You tug harder at the strap. “No.”
He doesn’t buy it. “You’re clearly bothered by something.”
You shake your head, fingers still fumbling, the leather cutting against your ankle with each pull. “I’m just tired. Can we leave it at that?”
There’s a flicker of frustration in his gaze now, a crease forming between his brows as he studies you. He moves into the room. You barely have the chance to react before he lowers himself, bending one knee to the floor as he reaches toward the strap you’ve been fighting with. “Here, let me—”
“Don’t,” you interrupt, pulling your foot away. “I can do it myself.”
“I know you can. But let me—”
“I can do it myself!”
Your heartbeat thuds loud in your ears, each pulse feeding the frustration that’s wound its way up from your chest. He rises slowly, not a word passing his lips, but the tension radiates off him like heat. He’s close enough that his warmth presses against your skin, although it’s not the kind you usually find comforting. It’s almost suffocating.
You turn your focus back to the stubborn strap, your fingers trembling slightly as you struggle to grip it. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch him slipping off his shoes, one after the other, the soft thuds barely audible over the rush of your own heartbeat. He pulls off his suit jacket, carefully smoothing the crumpled fabric before hanging it in the closet. For a moment, it seems like he’s going to let it go… until his gaze drifts back to you.
You can tell his patience is fraying, and you’re proven right when he asks again, “What did you mean by that? When you said you wouldn’t want to stop me from anyone… what was that supposed to mean?”
You finally manage to tug the strap loose. The heel drops to the floor with a muted thump. “It was nothing.”
“I don’t think you’d say something like that if it was nothing.”
Your focus shifts to the other shoe. “Just drop it, Spencer.”
"How am I supposed to drop it when you're implying... whatever it is you're implying?"
You keep your eyes down, wrestling with the strap in silence. He cuts through the quiet before it has a chance to grow.
“Don’t do that,” he says. “Don’t brush it off like it’s nothing when it clearly means something. I need to know why you said that.”
You kick off the other heel and meet his gaze for the first time since you walked into the room. “You really want to know?”
He reaches for his bow tie, yanking it loose it with one hard pull. “Do I want to know why you’re giving me this attitude right now? Yes. Yes, I do.”
Oh. So this is going to be that kind of fight.
You hadn’t expected it to go here. Fights with Spencer are very rare, usually more a clash of misunderstandings that you both laugh about with limbs tangled between sheets by the time you’ve made peace. But seeing him standing there with the tie hanging loosely around his neck and his five o’clock shadow casting an even darker line along his jaw, it hits you differently.
This is real. And this time, you don’t know if brushing it off will fix anything.
“Fine, let’s talk about it then.” You rise from the bed, tension carrying you to your feet. “Emily’s speech tonight.”
His brow furrows, not quite a scowl, more a cautious crease as he processes your tone. “Emily’s speech? What about it?”
“What do you remember of it?”
There’s a slight pause, and you can tell he's clearly caught off guard by the question. “She mentioned how Rossi and Krystal are twin flames."
“Right. Two souls that are always meant to be together.”
His face is still marked by confusion, but there’s something else creeping in. A subtle tightening around his eyes tells you he’s starting to piece it together. “I don’t understand what that has to do with—”
“You looked at JJ the second Emily made that speech,” you cut him off. “Spencer, you didn’t even spare a glance at your future wife because you were too busy making eyes at the woman who’s apparently been in love with you all these years.”
There. You said it. The words that have twisted around your insides all evening are finally out. And maybe they taste a little bitter, but at least they're not choking you anymore.
A second passes, then another, and by the time the fifth heartbeat ticks by, he’s standing there with his hand on his hip.
“That’s not what happened."
“Then what was it?” you demand. "I sat beside you the whole day, you didn't even try to hide it."
“That’s not—you’re twisting things.” His hand moves through his hair, fingers digging in as his curls tumble forward onto his forehead. “And you know what happened that night wasn’t real. It was a forced confession. She was under duress, we both were. JJ and I are just friends.”
You arch an eyebrow. “You look at all your friends like that?”
His hand drops to his side. "I don't know what else you want me to say. JJ said what she did because she thought we might die. She has a family, and a husband who she loves. We already went through this, I don't understand why this is suddenly an issue again."
“Maybe I wouldn’t be bringing this up if you didn’t look at her tonight like you were ready to break up that marriage yourself.”
A flash of shock and anger crosses his features.
“That’s not fair,” he snaps, his voice sharper than you’ve heard in a while. “Do you really think I’d disregard everything I have with you because of a look? Because of a history that has never gone anywhere?”
“I don’t know what to think. It's not like it happened just once, I saw you looking at her the same way at the bar." You step forward, accidentally kicking your discarded heel as you move. "What were you two talking about, anyway?”
He lets out a tight breath. “She was checking in on me. She… we haven’t talked much since then.”
The corners of your mouth pull down. “Mhm. Another round of truth or dare?”
“I can’t believe you’re using that against me." His hair flops forward as he shakes his head, falling messily over his brow. "If there were anything unresolved with JJ, I would’ve said something. But I didn’t, because there’s nothing there."
“And yet, she’s always been an important part of your life, hasn't she?"
He tilts his head. "What are trying to say now?"
Your tongue darts out, briefly brushing your lips. You're not sure you should say it, but it feels like a door has swung open—a door to words that have been waiting for their moment.
You take a slow, deep breath, filling your lungs with as much air as you can.
“When you were in prison, you put her on your visiting list ahead of almost everyone else. Doesn’t that say something about where she stands with you?”
He exhales sharply, dragging a hand over the back of his neck.
“She’s part of the team,” he says, as if he’s trying to spell out something he’s already explained a dozen times. "There were strict rules, I already told you that only a handful of people were allowed to visit. It wasn’t like I could just put anyone on the list.”
“But you could’ve put me on there!”
The familiar burn of tears prickles at the edges of your eyes, but you blink them back, refusing to let them fall. An explanation or protest is poised on his lips, but you’re already moving, closing the distance with a single, decisive step. A finger lands on his chest.
“I was your girlfriend, Spencer. Were you that determined to keep me out? Was the thought of seeing me really so unbearable? Do you even understand how hard it was to sit at home, knowing you were locked up, feeling completely helpless? Do you have any idea how much I hated myself day after day because I couldn’t do anything to help you?”
Your lips quiver. You feel like your heart is about to leap out of your throat.
“I was out here, just… waiting. Wondering if you were okay, if they were treating you alright, if you even had someone to talk to. And meanwhile, she’s there, with you. Every single time, she’s the one who gets to be by your side.”
Your nail digs into the fabric of his shirt.
“So forgive me if I can’t just let that go. Because when it mattered, it felt like you didn’t want me to be there for you. And now… now I don’t even know if you need me the way you seem to need her.”
Your breathing turns shallow, each inhale catching in your chest. The tears you’ve been holding back are dangerously blurring your vision. You swallow the knot lodged in your throat.
“I need a minute.”
Without another word, you turn and walk out of the room, leaving him standing there in stunned silence. You slip back into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as you finally reach for the glass of water that’s been sitting there untouched. You take a sip, barely feeling the cool water on your lips, when you hear his footsteps behind you.
“You think I don’t want you in my life?” he demands. “You think I somehow need her more than I need you?”
You set the glass down. “What part of ‘I need a minute’ do you not understand?”
“You really expect me to wait quietly after you unloaded every doubt you’ve ever had about us?”
You life your chin up. “Yes, I do. I need space to think right now.”
“What more do you want to think about when you’ve already convinced yourself that I’m always going to fall short? Is it so hard to believe that you’re the one I want?”
“You want to know why it’s so damn hard to believe?” You turn towards him. “Because every time I try to let this go, there’s always something. A confession. That—that not-so-subtle look. And when those things happen, it reminds me that I’m not as close to you as she is. I’m fucking tired of feeling like I’m fighting for space in your life.”
“Do you think I want you to feel like that? Do you think I’d go through everything we’ve been through if you didn’t matter to me?”
“Then explain to me why I wasn’t on that list!” you cry out. “Explain to me why, in one of the hardest times of your life, you couldn’t make space for me?”
“Because I was trying to protect you!”
A heavy, dreadful silence falls between you. He takes a step back, his eyelids fluttering shut briefly, and when he opens them again, there’s a softness in his gaze that mirrors the gentleness now threading through his voice.
“I know it probably doesn’t make sense to you, and maybe it never will, but I couldn’t stand the idea of you seeing me like that. Living through it was hard enough, but having you there, seeing me so helpless… It would have crushed me. I didn’t want that to be your memory of me.”
His Adam’s apple dips as he swallows, a quick, almost anxious movement you’ve witnessed countless times.
“And when JJ came to see me,” he continues, “the way the inmates looked at her, the things they said after she left… it was disgusting. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—let that happen to you. I couldn’t live with thought of you being subjected to that because of me.”
You lower your head with a sigh. “I don’t care if they looked. I don’t care what they would’ve thought.”
“But I care,” he fires back, taking a step forward. “Because you mean more to me than anyone. All I wanted was to keep you safe, and maybe I didn't handle it right, maybe I made the wrong call... but it was only because I—" His voice drops into an even more gentle note. "Because I love you."
Your heart stumbles, an uneven beat that feels almost bruised, pounding hard against your ribs.
"I-I love you so much. More than I know how to put into words." The ache in your chest sharpens as his hands come up to cup your cheeks. "I don't like fighting with you. I hate it, actually. I hate seeing you look at me like this."
You also hate the way he’s looking at you. There’s a depth to his annoyingly pretty eyes that makes it impossible to hold up your defenses without feeling them crumble. You let your eyes flutter closed.
“Why don’t we… call it a night?” He suggests. “Let’s lie down. We don’t have to talk about this now.”
The blackness behind your eyelids does little to quiet your mind. Nor does his voice. Or his touch. Instead of offering peace, his presence throws every glance, every moment of tension from tonight into sharper relief.
You draw in a breath, trying to find some comfort in his palms against your cheeks. Yet, even this can’t smooth away the doubt that’s settled in. With a resigned sigh, you release the breath you’ve been holding along with the words that have been pressing at the back of your throat.
“You haven’t explained it to me.”
The shadows in his gaze seem to deepen when you open your eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“We’ve been going in circles, but you haven’t explained to me what happened tonight,” you say quietly. “Why did you look at her, Spencer?”
His thumb absently strokes your cheek in a way that feels more hesitant than reassuring.
“Be honest with me,” you press. “Was there a part of you, even the tiniest part, that still wanted something with her? Some small part of you that… wondered what it might be like?”
The silence between you presses in from all sides, broken only by the faint hum of the refrigerator and the distant, muffled ticking of a clock on the wall. It’s the kind of quiet that sharpens even the smallest sounds, yet his lack of response feels like the loudest thing of all.
You pull back from him with an incredulous laugh.
“Unbelievable.” The word barely makes it past your lips, then louder as you start to move, pacing the length of the apartment. “Unbelievable.”
“Wait,” he says, trailing after you, “I didn’t even say anything.”
You stop short by the couch and whip around to face him.
“You didn’t need to! You—you hesitated," you stammer, searching his face for any flicker of denial, but it’s there, plain as day, that split-second of doubt you caught. “That was already an answer.”
He inches closer. A hand closes in on you. “Please—”
You flinch, pulling back, and every muscle in your body tightens. “Don’t. Don’t touch me right now.”
His hand falls to his side. “Please… let me explain."
You watch his hand drop, fingers twitching like they’re not sure if they should retreat or reach out again, but he keeps them there, hovering in some invisible line you’ve drawn. He looks at you with those big, pleading eyes, and for a split second, you almost feel bad for him.
Almost.
A bitter sort of smile tugs at the corner of your mouth. "So now you want to explain?"
He takes that as permission, and his voice comes in low, almost cautious. "When I first started at the BAU, I had… maybe a crush. A passing thing, barely anything, really. But that was fourteen years ago.” His hand scrubs through his hair in a frustrated sweep. “Fourteen years."
Your brows pull into a frown. “Why am I only hearing about this now?”
“Because it was nothing,” he says, almost too quickly. “I was young, it didn’t matter. I didn’t think it was worth bringing up.”
“Oh, I get it now. All those old feelings came rushing back the night she confessed, didn’t they?”
He mirrors your frown, a visible line of tension etching itself between his brows as he protests, “It’s nothing like that.”
“Then what is it?” you press. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks a whole lot like you’re caught between us because some part of you is still hung up on what might’ve been with her."
He shifts uncomfortably, and you notice the muscles in his jaw clenching the moment his gaze falters, dipping away for just a heartbeat before he looks back at you.
“It’s not that I don’t know what I want,” he starts to explain. “I didn’t expect her to say those things, and, yes, it threw me off for a moment. But that doesn’t mean I’m looking back, or that I want her. I want you.”
You shake your head, feeling a tired sort of frustration settle over you, and walk over to the couch. The soft cushions give slightly beneath you as you sink down.
“If you really wanted me, this wouldn’t be happening. You wouldn’t have let her get into your head like that. And now, you expect to believe that none of it meant anything?”
He’s quick to follow, closing the distance in a few tense steps. “It’s not—” His hands flex open and close at his sides. “You’re acting like one single look tonight is enough to decide I’m not committed to you. Do you really think I’d let some confession I didn’t even ask for get in the way of what we have?”
“It’s not just about that single look. It’s the way she could say something and suddenly, you’re pulled back to something you swore you’d put behind you. How am I supposed to feel secure when she still has that power over you?”
“And what am I supposed to do, then? Apologize for things I don’t even feel anymore?”
You flinch at the sharpness in his voice. A low, frustrated noise rumbles in his chest when you don’t respond.
“You’re always going to question me no matter what I say, aren’t you?"
You glance over at him, catching the disheveled strands of hair falling over his forehead, and it pulls you back to that night he came home after that dreadful night. He’d walked in looking worn in a way you’d never seen before, his whole posture weighted down as if he was carrying more than just the fear of being held hostage.
You remember sitting with him on this same couch, fingers brushing his, and asking what was bothering him.
JJ said she loved me.
Your heart lurched, a quick, quiet ache that you tried to swallow down. Really?
Don’t worry. It’s not true.
But with that same haunted look in his eyes right now, you can’t help but wonder if it really was just a well-intentioned lie.
“One glance and you’re accusing me of things that are never going to happen,” he starts again. “Do you really think so little of me? After everything we’ve shared, you really think I’d betray you like that?”
In true honesty, you don’t believe he would ever cross that line. But the doubts still linger, fed by those small hesitations, the moments when his eyes seem somewhere else. It’s not that you think he’d betray you. It’s that a part of him might still be holding onto something he won’t let you see.
“It’s like you don’t know me at all.”
Now those words you might actually believe.
“Maybe I don’t,” you say quietly, eyes drifting to the ring on your finger. You twist it absently, remembering the night he proposed. How he’d stumbled over his words, his cheeks flushing as he tried to make the moment perfect but ended up rambling in that endearing, nervous way of his. You’d laughed, reassured him that it was exactly right, that you didn’t need grand gestures. All you needed was him.
And yet, you don’t think he needs you as much you need him.
A hollow ache settles around your hand as you slip the ring off.
“What are you doing?”
You stare down at the gold band in your palm, blinking back the sting of tears.
“Tell me what you’re doing.”
Panic. Desperation. There’s a sudden rush of melancholy in his voice, a heaviness that wasn’t there a moment ago.
You swallow the lump in your throat. “I don’t know,” you whisper. “I—I don’t know anything right now.”
His face crumples, and in a sudden, almost instinctive movement, he drops down to his knees.
“No, no, you do know me. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. Isn’t this—” he stops, then dips his head, trying to catch your gaze. “Isn’t that what couples do? They argue, they mess things up… but they work through it, right? Right?”
You look down, feeling the cool weight of the ring pressing into your skin.
“Spencer…” you begin. “I trust you. I do, and I’m sorry if I made it seem like I didn’t. But… I need to feel secure. I… I need to know that I don’t have to wonder or worry about where I stand. I never thought you’d be the one to make me doubt that.”
There’s a sharp ache in your chest.
“I didn’t think it could hurt this much. Not from you.”
Your pulse ring in your ear.
“I can’t—” The words catch in your throat, a stinging burn rising as you force them out. “I can’t be your wife when I’m constantly questioning if I have all of you. When I feel like… there’s always a part of you that isn’t mine.”
“I’m yours, honey. I’m always yours.”
“I wish I could believe that.”
There’s a slight falter in his voice. “Don’t—please don’t do this—”
“I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t hurt.”
He falls silent, and for a moment, the only sound is the rough, uneven rhythm of both your breaths filling the space between you. Then, like something inside him finally cracks open, he sinks down, pressing his forehead against your lap. The sudden weight of him forces a broken sob from your throat.
“Please,” he begs, fingers clutching at your sides. His chin presses deep into your thigh. “Tell me how to fix this. I can’t— I can’t lose you.”
“Spence…”
“I love you,” he blurts out, the words tumbling from him in a rush. “I love you.”
But what is love, really? Is it just a word people reach for when they’ve run out of things to say, a way to patch over bruised hearts and broken promises? Or should it feel like something more solid, something that doesn’t leave you questioning or aching? You can’t even tell anymore.
You wonder, too, if maybe you’ve been wrong all along. If this feeling in your chest isn’t love but something dressed up as it, something that fills the gaps while slowly hollowing you out. Because here you are, clinging to a love that somehow makes you feel like you’re both needed and unseen. Everything and nothing all at once.
You feel like a fool.
“I want to go to bed.”
His head lifts from your lap, a flash of surprise darting across his face, as though he hadn’t expected you to say anything at all, let alone that. “Yeah, okay, let’s go to bed. We’ll… we’ll figure this out in the morning.”
“I’d rather be alone.”
The words hit him visibly. His mouth opens, an argument forming there, but he catches himself, letting the silence stretch before he nods slowly.
“Then… I’ll stay out here. On the couch,” he offers softly. “Just… in case you need anything.”
A pang cuts through you at the thought of him stretched out on the couch, his legs too long, his shoulders folded in to fit the cramped space. But the idea of sharing a bed right now feels impossible.
You reach down, holding out the ring towards him.
“No,” he says firmly, gently pushing your hand away. “Don’t do that. This… it doesn’t mean we’re giving up. It just means we need time. That’s all.”
You’re not sure if your mind will change in the morning. The ring presses into your skin, but finally, you close your hand around it, nodding faintly before you peel away from him.
The tears start the moment the bedroom door clicks shut behind you. It spills over in a jagged, helpless cry that sounds nothing like you imagined heartbreak might sound. It’s messy, a kind of aching grief that feels too big for your chest, clawing its way out with no grace at all. You can practically hear how pathetic you sound, and yet you can’t seem to stop.
Even when the hem of your dress trails across the floor. Even when you finally collapse onto his side of the bed. There’s no stopping you. With the ring sitting cold in your hand, your tears keep coming, soaking into the pillow as you cling to the last trace of him woven into the sheets.
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7 💢 DELTE - ouch my head smau
synopsis : when y/n almost gets hit by a random hot basketball player who happens to have a huge crush on her
pairing : loser desperate jake x hot 'meanie' reader aka black cat gf x golden retriever bf
warning : they are all in college so will have college humor w sex jokes n kms/kys jokes






















prev - next
princess love letter : if you have any idea how much the second outfit n video he posted on twitter's power have on me >0<
ouch my head tag list ( open ) : ask or comment to be added >< @onerooza @wonsdoll @lialaiakalaiiaia @nctsshoes2 @heeseung64 @iselltulips @miszes @jakeswsh @thing89 @dreamiestay @cherrikii @rikisluv @50-husbands @miuhaee @wonwonluvie @zyvlxqht @letwiiparkjay @miniature-tragedy @tie-nn @thenastone @isa942572 @grassbutneo @luvyouloser @st1llm0nster @luvvhaerin @ren2jay @turip222 @iheartjayke @zaihypen @t1iqaa @daniellesyellowhands @cralessia @pharaways @clampclover @02zluvbot @jakieeeeee @sumzysworld @vmpivory @chxrlz-mxr @hizhu @slp23 @catecita @heelovesmeknot @danielleism @dissoc1ating @belovedsthings @sweetiejaeyun @al3xa-amz @getoxo
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UNLUCKY GIRL SYNDROME ✦ PSH & SJY | TEASER !

inspired by operation true love
pairing ➻ sunghoon x f! reader x jake
synopsis ➻ if it was possible to see the number of people who would fall in love with you over your lifetime, most people would agree to it in a heartbeat, but some might not. you don't get that choice, labelled by a mysterious system as someone destined to receive no love and threatened to fix this 'error' before it's too late. but who will be your saviour, the social pariah sunghoon, or the school's golden boy sim jaeyun?
genres & tropes ➻ slow burn, love triangle, mystery
content warning ➻ profanity & some more serious themes like neglect and burnout + please be aware that this doesn't contain polyamory so there will be only one of them that you end up with
word count ➻ current 6.2 k, anticipated 15 - 20 k
note ➻ i was very excited to create this and share it with you all, so i sincerely hope you enjoy! it will be my first (enhablr) long fic, to celebrate 100 followers [i hope i finish this before i reach 200]
release date ➻ august!
INTRODUCING THE LOVE INTERESTS !
WELL . . . WHAT DO THEY THINK OF YOU ?
interviewer: what do you think of y/n, sunghoon?
sunghoon: she pisses me off.
interviewer: can you elaborate?
sunghoon: no.
interviewer: what about you, jake?
jake: y/n? y/n... hmmm the name's not familiar. are you sure she goes to decelis?
OH ! THEN, PERHAPS A SCENE FROM THE STORY WILL DO ?
finally. after a long hard day of, well, avoiding pushy fangirls and brown-nosers, jake has glimpsed some freedom.
he finds himself enjoying the breeze on a local park bench instead. it’s close enough to decelis that he still flinches every time he hears a high-pitched noise, but finding peace is not impossible.
especially when the park is full of families having fun and apparent couples lazing on the grass. it’s not often he gets to experience an atmosphere like this. not often that he’s allowed to pause and allow himself to feel the moment long enough to experience anything at all, actually.
it feels as if most of his time is spent in making connections, modelling, events and the time he does get to spend at school is used up dodging people who want to talk about said activities.
it’s downright exhausting, and it’s to the point jake considers dropping modelling several times a week. the issue, of course, is that he loves it. to him, it’s a form of art, especially when he can see all of the incredible content created from him. it’s like a part of him is permanently out there for people to know and experience and that’s just amazing to him.
so yeah. an impasse. but enough rumination, right now was his time to truly feel peace and enjoy the ambiance the fresh air and trees provided.
that is, until someone goes crashing to the ground in front of him, and yeah jake did think that a block of pavement jutting at an angle from the previous would be an issue, but seeing the stray train of thought come to fruition was unfortunate.
what just happened settles in, and jake scrambles off of the bench, mourning his peace only a little bit after taking in the familiar decelis girls’ uniform.
“oh my god, are you okay?” his hands hover unsure, twitching in the air uselessly in response to the girl’s groan filling the surroundings.
when you turn towards the boy to reassure him that ‘yeah, i just got my shit rocked in front of you, but i’m fine!' you instead end up gasping when you notice who it is, “it’s you! coffee boy!”
jake is a little astonished, since when was he coffee boy? “hey! i have a name.”
you furrow your brow a bit, and he can’t tell if you’re trying to remember said name or that’s pain on your face.
“jake! right?”
he ignores the odd, new feeling of someone having to confirm his name instead of intuitively knowing it before he even says a word and nods, “and you’re y/n.”
he’s not sure if he would have remembered your name were it not for the way your last encounter with him went.
you nod enthusiastically, before frowning at the sting you feel on your knees. it seemed they were slightly skinned. you frown, contemplating what you should do, still on the floor.
jake clears his throat, “you, uh, should probably do something about that.”
you raise an unimpressed brow, as if to say, ‘what, pray tell, should i do here in the middle of the park?’
but, not one to be discouraged, you reach into your bag, frowning and dumping one of the pockets contents onto the ground in search of what you need. you cheer slightly in triumph, wrapping the handkerchief around your skinned knee for now.
good enough until you get home.
you hear jake chuckle and fix your gaze back on him, confused as to what’s funny in the situation right now.
he smiles, pointing at an item from your backpack, “you’re still carrying a flip-phone around in this day and age?”
the blood evaporates out of your body. you don’t want it to be true, but as you follow his finger with bated breath, your heart stutters as your gaze lands on it.
it, being a bright. pink. flip-phone.
unbeknownst to you, jake frowns in confusion as he notices the drastic change in your demeanour. he remains dumbfounded as you flounder, shoving everything back in your backpack whilst completely ignoring the object.
he doesn’t even have the time to question you before you bolt away, leaving him and the flip phone.
jake’s unable to hold his curiosity back and he picks up the phone. he almost drops it at the message sitting on the home screen that greets him.
hey, you’re not supposed to look at this! (¬_¬)
just what the hell was this? jake shrugs off the unnerving feeling and pockets the cell, deciding he’d give it to you eventually when you spoke again. although with the way you ran off, you didn’t seem too keen about it.
the model is utterly confused, but. oh well. he supposed being strange was one of your character traits.
permanent taglist: @ashtxrie @luvlyhee @won4kiss @txnwvc
specific tags: @boyfhee @sungbyhoon @fleurre @viagumi @strxwbloody @dreamiestay @doublebunv @hoodiebangtan @lol6sposts @neos127 @capri-cuntz @junislqve
everyone tagged above will be tagged again for the actual post, if you would also like to be tagged then comment below or send an ask 🫶
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Now Live: Stream 4
Genre: smut, camboy au, college au, crack
Pairing: camboy! Beomgyu x gn reader (afab when smut)
Warnings: camboy, sub! beomgyu, dom! reader, solo beomgyu, vibrating cock ring, voyeurism
Synopsis: Every Thursday night at 8pm, you tune into your favourite camboy: Angel313. What you don’t know is he even goes to the same uni as you, is in the same class as you and is Choi Beomgyu, the campus fuckboy but will you keep his secret?
Word count: 2.9k



“Wait so you used to watch my streams all the time?” Beomgyu looks at you all cocky as you both walked to the uni’s concert hall, music sheets in both your hands of the arrangements you had finally finished to show the ensemble to play. “That’s so adorable. I appreciate my fans so much, I really do.” He presses his hand to his heart dramatically.
“Shut up.” You elbow his side, causing the music sheets in his hand to fall on the ground in the chilly and windy breeze.
“Owww. Hey! You should help me pick those up!”
You don’t, carrying on strolling as he speedily grabbed the sheets, racing to walk beside you again.
“What was your username, come on tell me. Don’t be embarrassed.” He looks at you with a shit eating grin.
“I’m not telling you.”
“Come onn! I think I deserve to know!”
“No.”
“But-”
“No.”
“Whyy not?!”
You give it some thought whether you should tell him or not but he probably would never let it go if you didn’t. Sighing, you decide to just let it out. “I was…user seggsysax…”
Beomgyu bursts into a fit of laughter in disbelief, “You were seggsysax?!” He can’t stop laughing and you just stand, staring at him with a deadpan gaze. “I always see your username in every single one of my lives! Even from the very start! Wow. Thank you for being such a loyal fan.” He laughs even more, “I thought your username was weird though.”
You roll your eyes, slightly embarrassed. “I play saxophone! And…it’s sexy? I don’t know I just came up with anything! Will you stop laughing?!” But beomgyu looks like he’s about to hurtle to the ground any second.
You make it to the concert hall, waiting for the other musicians to start coming in. Strings, woodwind, brass, and percussionists to sit in their assigned positions, you and beomgyu handing out the scores on the music stands.
“Hello! I’m Beomgyu and this is Y/n. We’re the two organisers of the music department’s Christmas performance this year.” Beomgyu introduces you both cheerily once everyone settles in and begins to explain what will be happening.
And then you all start practicing and learning the pieces, you and beomgyu taking it in turns to conduct and play and telling them how certain sections should sound like. It was already beginning to come together and was already sounding great.
You were actually pretty excited about it, people coming up to praise you both on how you’ve arranged it after it had finished and you and beomgyu giving each other a fist bump once they all left.
“So, you’re gonna be my manager or whatever then? What are you even gonna do?” Beomgyu asks, both of you at his place, sitting on his comfy bed after practice to discuss your earlier proposition.
“Well, since I’ve watched a lot of camboys and have been part of your audience, I could give you input and ideas on what other watchers would want and like so we can make more money. I could also help you film everything since it must be hard trying to film it yourself and I’ll monitor what people comment and what gets you more tips.” You shrug your shoulders.
“Alright then. Interview’s over. Sure, you’re my manager now I guess. Why do you want to though anyway?”
“Because I am broke as hell and couldn’t find any part time jobs and this doesn’t seem that bad. Why did you start being a camboy?”
“I’m also broke and need to pay off my college tuition.” Beomgyu shrugs his shoulders, “I stumbled across a camboy once and thought hey! I can make money at home just jerking off so…”
You nod, “Yeah, you’re good at it.”
He smiles at your praise, eyes scrunching into little crescent moons and cheeks blushing, “Thanks!” Clearly, he likes compliments. It’s kinda really cute. You clear your head at the last comment-Off topic, off topic.
“So…why don’t we try out and film something now?” You suggest nonchalantly.
“What? Like, right now?” Beomgyu’s eyes pop out his sockets.
“Yeah if you want to”
“O-okay. Y-yeah, yeah...”
He gives you your phone so you can set everything up, putting it on the tripod and angling the cameras to one of his bare walls, ready to stream. “What should I do?” Beomgyu asks shyly.
“I don’t know. Do you have somewhere where you keep all your toys and stuff?”
So he goes to his wardrobe, getting a pink box at the back and opening it for you to look at a variety of little vibes, dildos, plugs and many other things. Your eyes catch a vibrating cock ring you’ve never seen before.
“Oh I haven’t seen you use that before.” You point at it.
“Yeah I got it recently.”
“Do you wanna use it today? I bet the viewers would go crazy. It’s pretty.”
“Y-yeah okay then.” Beomgyu’s voice suddenly sounding mouse-like.
Beomgyu starts changing out of his clothes to put on his usual thigh highs and putting the cock ring on with slightly shaking hands. He doesn’t know whether he should tell you to look away since you’ll literally be watching him anyway and it’s not like you’ve never seen him naked, given you’ve watched multiple of his streams.
But you turn your head anyway, taking your phone out and going on it, acting as if you were extremely busy replying to life changing messages. You just had twitter up and kept refreshing it.
Once he was done you look up, not daring to look anywhere but his face. He passes the controller to the vibrator to you, averting your gaze as well.
“You want me to do it?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay then. Should I start the stream now?”
He nods and positions himself where you set the tripod and then you press the live button. Loads of users washing in and beomgyu says his usual greetings and welcomes to them.
After that he looks at you as if to indicate for you to start the controller and so you do, putting it on a low setting. Beomgyu also starts to fuck himself along with it, pumping his dick with his hands, slowly.
Beomgyu is beyond embarrassed right now. Whilst he’s fucked himself for thousands of people to watch, it’s incredibly different to this right now. A real person, right in front of him. Someone he knows. It made him so nervous, especially with your firm gaze on him, you not saying or visibly reacting to anything he’s doing making him even more squirmy. Somehow though, he thinks it’s making him even more turned on with you right there watching him. What was this weird feeling? What were you thinking of him right now?
You press one of the buttons to the controller even higher. Beomgyu looking at you with wide eyes as he carried on stroking his cock with the added vibrations, not even looking anywhere else but your face at this point, completely forgetting there was another audience watching him right now besides you, but he doesn’t bother checking the comments this time as he moans, feeling the pleasure overtaking him. He can’t believe he’s acting like this in front of you. Literally moaning with you right there. Because of you.
You know you shouldn’t feel like this at all. Like, absolutely at all. It was so, so wrong for you to feel like this but watching beomgyu like this, falling apart in front of you, stroking his dick shyly, you controlling his pleasure made you so unbelievably aroused. You could moan yourself to be honest.
You’d think that knowing Angel was actually beomgyu would make you stop feeling attracted to Angel at all, but you’re starting to think it’s only increased it. You watched every one of his streams, your favourite camboy and you’d fuck yourself as well while watching him, thinking he was perfect. And now, he was a mere few feet away from you. In real life. Fucking himself whilst you got to watch. In person. What you used to watch on your laptop screen doesn’t even compare to the real thing. His moans, reactions, body even prettier in real life.
The amount of willpower it took to not go and just fuck him right there. But that would be so wrong. It’s beomgyu. Not Angel. Well, actually you’re a bit confused now. But either way, it would be so wrong. Especially since you’re just his manager now. You’re professionally working with him. You can’t do that.
You turn the button up to the highest beomgyu looking at you fearfully and throwing his head back, whining. He slows his movements down on his dick for a second but you give him a glare as if to say ‘don’t you dare’ so he doesn’t, whimpering as he continued to stroke his dick for you.
You look at the comments to see viewers confused on whose controlling the cock ring since that’s never happened before, but they find it hot, him not not knowing what’s gonna happen.
He squishes his legs together, pumping his dick faster, eyes facing the ceiling and moans increasing and you know he’s just about to cum, seeing the scene loads of times before to know when he’s just on the verge. You press the button multiple times to go to one of the more lower settings, beomgyu snapping his head to you, distraught from not getting his high yet.
Then you go again, pressing it to the highest immediately, making beomgyu’s body jerk from the shock. He stills his hand for a second but knows better than to stop, so he just keeps jerking himself off until he’s about to cum again which doesn’t take long at all. And then you make it go to a low vibration again, beomgyu whining out loud at you. Then you start it all over again.
His hands go up to hide his face, embarrassed from the sounds he’s making in front of you and the reactions he’s making. “Y-y/n…!” Beomgyu whimpers out your name accidentally, from you still not letting him cum.
His comments go absolutely crazy. Everyone wondering who the new person behind the camera was on Angel’s channel.
@iheartsubby324: Whose y/n?!!?!?! Does he finally have a fuck buddy for himself after all this time? We’ve been telling him.
@angelsno1fan: Fuck that’s not fair. I wish I could be doing that to him right now. 😩
Many other users in all caps shouting from the screens, going mad that for the first time, Angel has someone else there. Of course you’re literally just his manager/kinda camera person helper but they don’t know that. You know if you were watching that right now you’d also be going crazy.
You let the cock ring stay on the high setting this time and beomgyu’s movements go faster on his cock, his thighs shaking together as he closes them shut again, cock twitching in the vibrating ring and he cums everywhere with a strangled pretty moan, more cum coming out of him due to the cock ring.
He can’t believe he just came in front of you. He’s never done anything like that in real life before in front of someone ever. He’s embarrassed to say he kinda liked it. But also embarrassed he just did that.
Fuck, that’s literally hottest thing ever and you got to see it in person. It was also painful to just sit there and watch. You continue to just stare it at him with your mouth slightly parted, he looked so gorgeous like that, panting, eyelids fluttering, cum covering him—you need to stop. That’s beomgyu!
You check to see how much money he just made. It was more than usual you don’t why. It wasn’t really anything different.
You wait for beomgyu on his bed as he takes a shower, feeling incredibly awkward and tense, swinging your legs off the bed. Then beomgyu walks out the bathroom, making you jump. His hair wet and masking his eyes, he dries his long hair with a towel not looking anywhere near you, you could also see how awkward he felt. Most people looked like ugly drenched rats when they came out the shower but he looked kinda…attractive-off topic! Off topic again! Beomgyu picks up his phone when a notification buzzes.
“My friend’s having a party right now. Wanna go?” Beomgyu asks, trying to ease the tension away. Just act like it never happened for now.
“Of course you have a party to go to.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing.”
“Well, are you coming or not?”
“Fine. I don’t really have anything better to do.”
You walk into Choi Yeonjun’s house, one of beomgyu’s other playboy friends, music—if you’d even call that music—blaring, making your ears slightly hurt and shit-faced people frolicking about, some play beer pong and other stereotypical house party games. Ah, how serene.
Beomgyu approaches Kang Taehyun and you follow as he excitedly jumped on his shoulders, scaring the dude.
“Taehyunnn!” Beomgyu shouts.
“You scared the shit out of me. What the hell gyu.”
You stare at them perplexed, “You guys know each other…?” Kang taehyun was one of the top students at your university and was extremely intelligent. And beomgyu was well…You can’t imagine they would both be friends at all.
“Of course we are! We’re best friends!”
“That’s stretching it a bit.” Taehyun jokes.
“Hey! You can’t say that to your husband!”
“We’re not husbands…I would never marry you.”
Beomgyu gasps. “So you want a divorce?!”
“Yeah because he’d marry me instead!” Huening kai walks over, drink in hand , another music student you recognised but he took it as a minor.
“You’re cheating on me?!?!” Beomgyu gasps even louder, making huening Kai laugh.
“You’re scaring away all the hoes beomgyu…” Taehyun sighs.
“What hoes? You get zero bitches. Me on the other hand…” Beomgyu flicks his hair at taehyun which only causes Kai to laugh even louder. A very unique laugh, you note. “Anyway this is Y/n! We’re working together on that music performance.”
“Oh hello! Nice to meet you.” They both say in unison.
“Nice to meet you too!”
The rest of the party is pretty uneventful to you. You hang out with taehyun and kai in the kitchen, talking and laughing with them. They were very entertaining to be around and friendly, happy you made some new friends. Beomgyu disappeared at some point and you see him again, clearly very drunk and making out with some girl. All three of you rolling your eyes at him.
“How much do you bet he won’t actually end up fucking them again.” Taehyun turns to Huening Kai.
“Hmmm. $30.”
“You guys know Beomgyu’s a virgin!?” You say the last part quietly.
“Yeah. I have no idea where those rumours came from in the first place.” Taehyun answers.
“Why does he act like that then though?” You ask.
“Beats me.” Huening Kai shrugs.
Once all three of you have had enough at staying at the party, you scavenge for beomgyu, finding him in the garden, passed out in a weird beetle position. And you all take him back to taehyun’s car with much effort.
Huening Kai gets dropped off first since his accommodations are a lot closer and taehyun parks his car since your block was just next to taehyun’s and beomgyu’s. You help taehyun carry beomgyu inside though.
“Hey, my dorm is just right here and I’ve got an exam early in the morning. Do you mind taking beomgyu up to his dorm yourself?” Taehyun asks, since his was at the very first floor and beomgyu’s was at the very top.
“Yeah sure. See you later taehyun. Good luck on your exam!”
“Thank you so much y/n! I’ll see you around!”
You know why taehyun chose not to come, it took absolutely forever to try and drag beomgyu up all the stairs to his dorm, elevator conveniently out of order.
You had to stop multiple times to catch your breath going up those stairs and dragging a mostly unconscious beomgyu with you but you finally make it after what feels like an eternity. Taehyun so owes you for that. And beomgyu. You genuinely feel like you’re gonna collapse but you open beomgyu’s place with his keys.
You tuck beomgyu into his bed. It was quite amusing seeing beomgyu passed out, covers tucked tightly up to his face and his mouth parted, a little unflatteringly.
He tugs on your sleeve before you can leave though, seemingly awake again. “I pussied out on fucking someone again. Is it…is it weird…Am I weird for being a-a virgin…? Beomgyu looks at you with the saddest puppy eyes ever, slurring his words from still being drunk.
“Hey…no of course not! You don’t need to have sex. It doesn’t matter, it shouldn’t be that important. You’re not weird for being a virgin! It’s…it’s normal.”
“But everyone thinks I’ve fucked everyone. And I haven’t fucked anyone. Isn’t that really embarrassing?”
“No it’s just stupid you have rumours like that about you. You shouldn’t care.”
And then he’s passed out again, probably not hearing a word you said, your hand in his to his chest from when he stopped you leaving. You clear your throat, letting go of him and exiting his place.
Please actually reblog !! and comment !!!! if you like the fic. It’s really appreciated tysm !<3🙏💕😊 It’s discouraging when fics have such little reblogs 🤨👎Feedback is always appreciated it makes me happy :)
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We lost the summer ch.1
Kai and reader are childhood friends and they have this thing where they make a list of things to do for their summers during the school year. How will this summer end!
(Inspired by kissing booth 3)
“I wilL alwAys love yOu”
“Stop stop no more, please my ears” says the brunette laying on the bed with his ears covered. “Maybe you should put singing lessons on the list” he finishes laughing so hard tears are running down his face.
“Well im sorry not everybody is as gifted at singing as you are” you replied rolling your eyes. It was true his voice is one of the most clearest most angelic voices youve ever heard. But your singing was the exact opposite your voice always cracked and you couldnt hit a right not to save your life.
“But how will we do that together” you asked
The list you were talking about is The summer To Do list. You guys made it when you were in third grade and kept the ‘tradition’ since. During the school year yall would fill the list up with a bunch of things you both wanted to do when summer came.
“I could still improve my singing so i can sign up to” kai responded now looking at his phone.
“But we would most definetly be seperated into different classes”
“Yea I guess your right that wouldnt work” he sighed.
“I have an idea” you say excitedly “ ive always wanted to try acting class”
“That does sounds fun. Write it down.”
You grab the orange sharpie and wrote the number 1. Acting classes. The paper is like a long scroll and looks as ancient as one. You write down the year of the summer leave a space under it for when summer is over to name the summer. Then yall write down the list.
“Lets think of some more things another day.” Says kai yawning. I look over to the clock not noticing how much time has passed its now 11:37 and we both have school tommorow.
“Ok ill head home goodnight kai “ i say while collecting my stuff to leave.
“Bye y/n get home safe”
The walk home is like a routine. You live on the same street as kai and the amount of times youve walked to and from his house is to many to even try and count.
When you walk into the house you can hear your parents talking, well more like arguing but in a light voice. You just hope it stays that quiet and you can get some rest. Though its highly unlikely because their arguments always get loud and you barely can rest.
You walk into your room and flick on the lights. Your room was in pretty nice shape since you cleaned just a few days ago.
You go and flop on your bed and almost immediatly fall asleep. There was no need to change since you went to kais in your pajamas.
“CRASH”. You were suddenly woke up by something fragile hitting the ground. You looked at the time and it was 12:06 you barely got 30 minutes of sleep. You dont know what you were expecting it happens almost every night for the past few months.
Your parents have both been fighting with each other over every little thing and it was not healthy. You used to not be able to sleep at night because they were so loud but it started happening so often that you invested in some earbuds.
It was pointless of you to go tell them to quiet down because then you would get yelled at by both of them. So eventually you stopped.
You reached over in your nightstand and take them out and plug them, hoping you would get enough sleep to be ready for tommorow.
(a/n This is my first fanfic and if you like it pls comment. It helps motivate. Also dont know the update scheduling.)
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but thankfully between you and me, nothing’s changed ♡ for @rosebowl
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