munchikoopas - Tumblr blog

[munchikoopas]

My heart can’t fit in this body or this solar system but it can fit in the palm of your hand

[munchikoopas]

“feeling your absence” (2010) by mathilde roussel-giraudy

[munchikoopas]

[munchikoopas]

rumination is not problem-solving.

you are not going to fix anything at 2am.

you are not going to solve anything by worrying real hard about it.

have faith that you will be able to solve problems as they arise.

have faith that you will find the resources to solve problems properly when they actually come up, rather than telling yourself that if you just think hard enough the problem won’t happen at all.

[munchikoopas]

[munchikoopas]

Mary Oliver, "The Fourth Sign of the Zodiac." Blue Horses

[munchikoopas]

[X]

[munchikoopas]

the actual truth is that i’m loved . like regardless of what i achieve, there are people in my life that see my heart. that’s where fortune is. being seen and being loved. so i am rich in this way.

[munchikoopas]

something I very much needed to read today

[munchikoopas]

when e.e. cummings said “i’ll live my life if it kills me”

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[munchikoopas]

im still working thru it i feel like i act too straight

[munchikoopas]

NSFW /

i guess i watch straight porn because its trauma related i was exposed to it at a young age by a female cousin of a similar age and its existence led to me stunting my own coming out

this doesnt affect gender at all in any way but my sexuality was severely impacted even though i felt uncomfortable with the thought of pursuing women romantically see like. i came out as pan and then stuck to it for quite a while but i feel no romantic attraction to women

then i came out again, gay, absolutely firm in my manhood and pursuing manhood until i realised: a portion of that socialised toxic masculinity i gained over the years from spending time in secondary school with fairly curious boys who were at the same time conservative in their thinking because they could not see past knowledge gained from conformity, still existed and burnt the life out of me until i realised i was hurting people i care about.

when i began to do more critical introspection using books or whatever seeing how everything relates to me or everything else, i began to see that people often attract certain types of people. people tend to rely on each other for different things, and ive seen that i usually attract/go for men or nonbinary men as my intimate partners

so i pretty much ended up just shutting up and saying i love men a lot

i still struggle a lot with being publicly gay so i try to be as subtle as possible

I dunno

i get embarrassed still

used to get approached by rando kids and get harrassed

[munchikoopas]

i feel like a chameleon 99% of the time 😬

[munchikoopas]

oh my lord get over yourself

[munchikoopas]

ugh why do people  message me when im busy but then when im free nobodys there to hang out!!!!!!!!!!!!

[munchikoopas]