munkamouse

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Too heat exhausted to write this in a botebook , content: relationshit rambling

The more dates I go on, the more unbelievable it is that I found someone who I had chemistry with at all. And then (eventually) wanted to date. Maybe the resistance should have tipped me off in the first place.

I'm sure in a year I'll be fine (fingers crossed), but its hard to imagine trusting a person. Every time with my ex that I felt ignored or like my presence was just tolerated, I treated those feelings like they were reflections of my own unhelpful anxiety, when now looking back I can see that I was right. He *didn't* want me around. He *was* tolerating me. But asking for clarity on those feelings felt like I would have been fishing for reassurance from him.

I knew the whole time that it was a nothing relationship, but I wanted to keep going anyway. Its pathetic. These things would happen and I would reflect, 'yeah this is over', but a beat later I'd be thinking, 'but what if...?' What if it's all in my head? What if I only feel this way because it's been so long since I've been in a relationship? What if I'm wrong?

My parents are gonna die before they get to see me in a fulfilling relationship. Yes, I'm on my period.

[munkamouse]

Genre-savvy horror protagonist figures out they're in a slasher movie, simply turns around and leaves; realises too late that they're actually in an artsy character-driven psychological horror film about them slowly being driven mad by existential uncertainty over whether they've successfully escaped the narrative.

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studio horseys once again

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what's a fashion ick that people love but you can not stand i will go first i hattteeeee tabi shoes i want them gone

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I love when you go on a date with someone and you’re like. well that was neither wonderful nor horrendous. You seem Fine. I’m sure if this was the 18th century and we were gentry arranged married to secure our fathers respective land interests we would care for each other in our way. you would buy me nice horses that I really had no interest in but would admire how gentle you were with them and when I died in labor during my third pregnancy you would tell our surviving heirs that their mother was a handsome woman who never drank too much and embarrassed herself in company

[munkamouse]

Fredrik Ålander (1883–1937) - “Death in the Ruins”, 1932

etching

source

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RIP Richard Serra. You made so many people so so so mad

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Aroundfish (1926) Paul Klee, oil on canvas, 46.3 x 64.1 cm

This cryptic painting [...] was among several of his works that the Nazi government included in their official “degenerate art” exhibitions and derided as childlike, disorderly, and confused. Yet it was precisely these qualities—the emulation of children’s art, the collage-like approach to building pictures, and the resistance to interpretation—that had attracted the Surrealists to Klee’s witty, lyrical artworks a decade earlier.

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Star Gaze [Digital Collage, 2017]

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🌈 pride rave in the cyber cave 🪩✨ }(]]]])

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Randy Wray, Nocturnt, 2024. Oil on linen.

[munkamouse]

Jaeheon Lee (Korean, 1976) - Three in One (2023-2024)