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What Is Narcissistic Abuse?

Abuse comes in many forms. A common misconception is that abuse is strictly physical; it’s because of this that so many people fail to recognize the abuse they endure for what it is and chalk it up to a bad mood or a short temper. Narcissistic abuse, just like any other type, can be harrowing to live with. Before we get into what narcissistic abuse is, it’s essential to understand what narcissism is as a whole.

What Is Narcissism?

The word narcissist gets thrown around casually between some people. Usually, that is because they don’t fully understand the weight of it. People will use it to generalize others that are maybe a little too full of themselves for their liking, but narcissists are so much more than that. Understanding what narcissism means could prevent you from ending up in an abusive relationship, and here at Naked Narcissism our mission is to ensure people break the cycle of narcissistic relationships.

Narcissism is a personality disorder that significantly lowers or takes away a person’s ability to feel empathy, and it makes them see others as if they are beneath themselves. This very often leads to toxic, harmful, and downright abusive behaviors. Narcissists don’t like it when things don’t go their way and will often use threats, mind games, insults, and accusations to ensure that doesn’t happen. Now that you have a basic understanding of what narcissism means, let’s look at some of the signs to watch out for.

Signs Of Narcissism

Recognizing narcissistic tendencies in a person, especially a partner or potential partner, can be challenging. When we are with someone or want to be with someone badly enough, we often let our vision get clouded to make things work. It’s natural to want to see the best in people, and you’re never wrong for doing so, but it’s common for narcissists to see that and use your kindness to manipulate their way into you staying with them. Before any of that can happen, here are some of the warning signs of narcissistic abuse.

They Ignore Your Boundaries

One of the first things you may notice when dealing with narcissistic abuse is an utter disregard for your personal boundaries. The abuser may try to test you and push past the initial boundaries you set, such as bringing up conversation topics you’re not comfortable with, trying to get you to do things sexually that are past your limits, or doing things in general that you had asked them not to do.

As the relationship progresses, the boundaries will continue to get ignored, and you might find that they are doing things like going through your private messages, following you around, and demanding they be included in activities or outings you are participating in. Commonly, trying to ask them to respect your boundaries will be met with fighting, anger, or accusations.

They Gaslight You

Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic that is regularly used by narcissistic abusers. It’s meant to make you doubt yourself and open you up to further abuse. When a narcissistic abuser gaslights you, they might deny the events that upset you, tell you that you aren’t remembering things clearly, or blatantly accuse you of lying to make them look like the bad guy. Gaslighting can be hard for you to catch, and if it works, it can often lead to you believing that you were in the wrong and feeling guilty.

They Love-Bomb

It is normal to want to spoil the person you’re with and vice versa. But there’s a difference between surprising you with some flowers and love bombing. Love bombing is a form of emotional manipulation used by every kind of abuser. They will shower you with compliments and expensive gifts to make you feel special and gain your trust. Unfortunately, when they do this, they are just looking for a way to break down your defenses and make you vulnerable.

When a narcissistic abuser spoils you with gifts and constantly tells you how much they love you and would do anything for you, they give themselves something to use against you and control you later. You might get conflicting feelings and feel guilty for being upset with them after they gave you a nice expensive piece of jewelry or took you out on a romantic date. The abuser knows this, which makes it such a common tactic.

They Nitpick

It’s okay and perfectly healthy for a relationship to have some minor criticism here and there. Nobody’s perfect, and we all get that, but when dealing with a narcissist, there is a good chance they will go beyond a bit of criticism and do everything in their power to pick you apart until you question every decision you make. They might criticize your appearance, the clothes you wear, your hobbies and interests, and even the way you speak. This is intended to make you feel like everything you do is wrong and, in turn, make you feel lucky to have someone who loves you.

The Effects Of Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse can have lasting effects on both your physical and mental health. Going through abuse can leave you suffering from PTSD, anxiety, and depression; it can tear away your self-worth and leave you feeling like you are not good enough or undeserving of love. On top of the toll it can take on your mental health, narcissistic abuse can also target your physical health. Dealing with prolonged stress and anxiety can not only give you headaches and make you nauseous but can lead to more severe illnesses like ulcers or even heart disease.

Do You Think You're In A Relationship With A Narcissist?

If you think you’re struggling or have struggled in the past with a narcissistic abuser, you don’t have to go through it alone. We are here to help you every single step of the way and are ready for you to start taking back your life. Reach out to us for more information on how to get started.

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