mushroomenjoyer

[mushroomenjoyer]

A dazzling emerald hue / 16 April 2022 Saturday

[mushroomenjoyer]

Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet

[mushroomenjoyer]

“laughter is the best medicine” WRONG. hormone replacement therapy.

[mushroomenjoyer]

they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

[mushroomenjoyer]

[mushroomenjoyer]

i will not be having an ipad baby. i will be having a Pea baby

[mushroomenjoyer]

bro, does this party have perfectly ripe summer heirloom tomatoes or do we need to pregame?

[mushroomenjoyer]

helen “trans people are perpetuating gender steriotypes” joyce is now upset that the scientific american is writing about how women were hunters too back in the day, not just mothers and caretakers. feminist win!

[mushroomenjoyer]

Could yall stop shooting each other outside my window im trying to masturbate

[mushroomenjoyer]

I fucking love that big feet bird that has a random word over it.

[mushroomenjoyer]

[mushroomenjoyer]

they posted a full version lol it’s mr Stacy’s dad for me

[mushroomenjoyer]

“i wish i could go out braless but-“ “i wish i didn’t have to shave but-“ “i wish i didn’t have to wear makeup but-“ STAND UPPPP FUCKING STAND UP JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT. NOBODY IS GOING TO SHOOT YOU OR ARREST YOU FOR BEING A LITTLE “UGLY” UOU WILL LIVE AND REALIZE THAT YOUVE BEEN IN A prison largely of your own making THIS WHOLE TIME

[mushroomenjoyer]

[mushroomenjoyer]

important life update: my dog came out of the woods with half of an artisanal baguette

[mushroomenjoyer]

chocolate covered strawberries 🍓

[mushroomenjoyer]

good news i'm the most fuckable person at this vehicular manslaughter