musicalmaster

[musicalmaster]

Interviewing My Wife about the Cosmere

My wife has not read any Sanderson. However, she DOES listen to me babble about it at all hours, and she does follow this blog. So I thought I’d see what she’s picked up via osmosis about the Cosmere.

Question 1: “What are five things you are sure are true about the Cosmere?”

“Kaladin is very hot and invented therapy!”

“Jasnah is hot.”

“Dalinar is very smoofy and I like him and Navani.”

“Steris is you: she likes lists and is organized and awesome and my favorite.”

“Kaladin’s dad is a jerk and I hate him.”

Question 2: “What is the difference between men & women on Roshar?”

“Men don’t read and women are cooler.”

Question 3: “What is Rlain?”

“That’s the crab guy.”

Question 4: “What is Renarin?”

“He’s the one who leaps off of walls and has a crush on the crab guy.”

Question 5: “Who is Kelsier?”

“He’s the evil guy who is wishy-washy about being evil.”

Question 6: “Who is Vin?”

“The bad-ass lady. I don’t remember what she does but only that she is bad ass about it.”

Question 7: “Can you tell me the plot of any book?”

“The first one: Kaladin is with a bridge company that pushes bridges somehow and they all die apparently.”

Question 8: “Can you tell me about any magic system?”

“They eat metal because it gives them power but they can only use certain ones unless they are the avatar ones but that is rare. There are also ones that have spikes and get taken over by a god. Even though a spike is like having metal inside you so it seems like those are the same.”

Question 9: “Who is Hoid?”

“Hoid is the one who wears Hawaiian shirts and is kinda a dingy but he is always there. Does he even do anything cool? And somehow he got with Jasnah which boggles me.”

Question 10: “Which character is in Fortnite?”

“Uh…..Kelsier?”

Question 11: “What are spren?”

“Spren are like sword fairies and sometimes they get sad and scream.”

Question 12: “Who is Szeth?”

“I got nothing. Is he from Mistborn?”

Question 13: “How did Dalinar’s brother die?”

“I don’t remember. Killed by a lady probably? One of the badass ones. Did Navani kill him?”

Question 14: “How did Kaladin get out of the bridge crews?”

“He saved Adolin and everyone else died.”

Question 15: “Has Shallan ever killed anyone?”

“Yes. Killed her mom and dad.”

Question 16: “Has Adolin ever killed anyone?”

“Probably! He’s a duelist! (off my expression) They aren’t duels to the death?”

Question 17: “Has Navani killed anyone?”

“She  killed the crab lady that she was making logic-sex-brain looks at.”

Question 18: “Has Renarin killed anyone?”

“Probably not. He just likes to fall off buildings.”

Question 19: “Why is there a war between the ‘crabs’ and the humans?”

“The crabs don’t like the magic thing. Like when Navani and the crab lady were trying to figure it out.”

Question 20: “How did Dalinar’s wife die?”

“He set them all on fire.” 

[musicalmaster]

Kelsier

Lightsong

Wax

Adolin

Vin

[musicalmaster]

“The God City died 10 years ago but people still keep dying of God Disease so we sacrifice them to the city’s corpse.” - Elantris

“The GodKing of this ash city sucks and a scrappy thief with weird powers is making a plan to kill him.” - Mistborn

“Mysteriously magical baldy kills the king for No Good Reason and sparks a war with the Crab People.” - Stormlight

My most important takeaway after reading Elantris is that Brandon Sanderson’s books have a strange trait where how interesting the blurb sounds is directly inverse of how good the series actually is.

[musicalmaster]

This man has not known a day of rest in his life

Marsh.

[musicalmaster]

I would’ve thought more people on tumblr would be obsessed with Alrianne Cett. Come on y’all she’s a shady rich bitch with a heart of gold and impeccable fashion sense, has manipulative tendencies, rages at injustices, saw a sexy old man and went hey is anyone gonna fuck that guy? and then didn’t wait for answer, I fuckin love her

[musicalmaster]

The funniest thing about the cosmere is how many shards go "Yes it's me the One True God" like bro you were THERE you know what happened what are you talking about

[musicalmaster]

What Your Preferred Vin Ships Say About You

Read on for some definitely accurate analysis.

[Spoilers for end of Mistborn Era 1!]

I've done these "what your preferred ships" say lists before, if you'd like to check out the old ones: [Kaladin ships, Navani ships, Jasnah ships, femslash ships; also Moash ships by @cosmereplay]

1. Vin x Kelsier

In canon, they act like father & daughter. Sanderson has publicly disapproved of this ship. But you looked straight into the eyes of sense and god and whispered, "Your daughter calls me daddy too" and then giggled. Maniacally.

2. Vin x Shan Elariel

There you were, reading a book that couldn't possibly pass the Bechdel Test when suddenly, there was one shining moment. A moment with two ladies with a lot of similarities (both Mistborn, both want to kill each other) and shared interests (Elend, wanting to kill each other) who spend time together (trying to kill each other), and you said, "Yes. This is the one."

And you were right.

3. Vin x Zane

*Squints* Zane? Is that you?

4. Vin x Spook

You love Spook. You're sad that his and Vin's relationship wasn't explored more, especially after Spook had his glow-up. And if your fic doesn't involve Vin tenderly wrapping a pink handkerchief around Spook's eyes, then what are you doing?

5. Vin x Shallan

You wouldn't call yourself "brilliant" or "objectively correct," but if other people wanted to call you that, well, you wouldn't object.

6. Vin x Ruin

I mean, he did pierce her with his metal, if you know what I mean.

7. Vin x Preservation

I mean, she did fill his vessel, if you know what I mean.

8. Vin x TenSoon

You aren't necessarily a furry, but you understand their beliefs.

9. Vin x Allrianne

You've definitely thought about an Allrianne-Vin makeover scene.

10. Vin x Elend

After Hero of Ages, you need 3 things.

A good cry.

A hug.

And for Sanderson to pay your therapy bills.

[musicalmaster]

IS THIS A SHIP, I LOVE IT AND I NEED IT. PLEASE LET MARSH BE HAPPY FOR ONCE IN HIS PRESERVATION FORSAKEN LIFE

I needed some cuteness from them

I drew this in June of 2021 but eh

[musicalmaster]

Mistborn british cooking show!au

-Ati and Leras are judges with completely different views on how well done a tart should be

-poor sazed just trying to make a well done cream cheese tart but his copperminds did not prepare him for this :(

-kelsier what the fuck you were ment to make a tart but you made fuckin steak

-spook is crying and covered I'm jam (the cooking challenge did not involve jam)

-vin did not understand and made a table (its a very good table)

-ham made a great cream cheese tart but leras and ati were fighting about if it was done right so lost

-breeze: and now we add TwO ShOtS oF VoDkA

-Marsh legit did a good job even though he didn't know what cream cheese was 20 minutes before the challenge

-elend is confused and trying his best but he has no clue what he's doing yet made a decent tart somehow

-Yeden can cook a meal but not a tart, he is more confused than elend

-rashek cooked the best meal

[musicalmaster]

If Era 1 Mistborn and Stormlight characters met each other…

If the Era 1 Mistborn gang and the Stormlight characters happened to meet up, what would that be like? 

[Includes spoilers through Rhythm of War & Era 1 Mistborn!] 1.  Dalinar & Elend

Elend: And THEN the council voted ME out! Man, democracy is just so hard!

Dalinar: Have you considered straight-up tyranny?

Elend: A-actually, yeah. Unfortunately.

Elend: It just…works so well…

Dalinar: I know.

Dalinar: Let’s not dwell on it.

2.  Shallan & Vin

Vin: My mom tried to kill me.

Shallan: Same.

Vin: Luckily I had my brother who cared for me. But he also had a cruel streak.

Shallan: Yeah—trust me, I know.

Vin: I trained as a thief & con artist for a while.

Shallan: Oh hey, me too! And that’s fun, but I also like wearing nice clothes and marrying someone socially above my station, you know?

Vin: Yeah, same!

Shallan: But also…I’ve murdered, just, so many people. Including family!

Vin: Killed my boyfriend’s dad.

Vin: And ex-fiancee.

Vin: And brother.

Shallan: Yeah, the murders just keep coming!

Vin: Crazy how that works.

3.  Straff & Sadeas

Sadeas: Knifed in a hallway by my nemesis’s son. Right into the brain. Eye popped and everything.

Straff: Literally cut in half by a giant sword wielded by my son’s girlfriend. My horse, too.

Sadeas: Bro.

Straff: Bro.

4.  Breeze & Sebarial

Breeze: Well, it certainly is nice to relax with a glass of wine & let the other characters make the jokes, isn’t it?

Sebarial: …why did I just get you wine??

5.  Sazed & Sigzil

Sigzil: And as a Worldsinger, I learn about other places and then share that knowledge to bring people together.

Sazed: That’s simply wonderful! I think feruchemy would work so well for you!

Sigzil: It does seem like an amazing power.

Sazed: Also, do you ever want to, just…

Sigzil: …strangle Hoid?

Sazed: Yeah.

Sigzil: Yeah.

Kelsier: Yeah!!!

Sazed: Kelsier, get to your own section! 

6.  Spook & Lift

Lift: So you…eat metal. And it gives you powers?

Spook: Yeah. I get my power from burning Tin.

Lift: After you eat it?

Spook: After I eat it.

Lift: Sucks to be you! I get my power from PANCAKES. 

7.  Marsh & Navani

Marsh: …and with these metal spikes piercing my body, I gained a number of powers. Also immortality. Apparently.

Navani: I am so horrified. And so intrigued. You’re going to make SUCH good research!

Marsh: The horror doesn’t, you know, put you off?

Navani: Nah, you should have seen my last research partner.

8.  TenSoon & Kaladin 

Kaladin: So you are a…puppy?

TenSoon: Well, I have the ability to consume the bones of a canine and then take on this shape.

Kaladin: [nodding]

TenSoon: That doesn’t…disturb you at all?

Kaladin: I don’t know enough about dogs to judge.

9.  Zane & Szeth

Zane: And basically, with the voice of God constantly in my ear encouraging me to kill, I did that! Kill, I mean.

Szeth: Obeying an unknown disembodied voice because you thought it might be god? What foolishness.

Zane: Didn’t you obey a rock?

Szeth: That was DIFFERENT.

10.   Kelsier & Moash 

Kelsier: The thing is—aristocrats just gotta be murdered, you know?

Kelsier: You look into their faces, see the reflection of their endless crimes, and just think, “Yup. Murder time.”

Kelsier: And some people are like, “Kelsier, stop murdering everyone!”

Kelsier: And it’s like—do I tell YOU not to do what YOU’RE good at?

Kelsier: I’m good at three things! Survival. Starting cults. And murder.

Moash: …

Moash: I think I love you.

[musicalmaster]

Does anyone else feel sick when remembering that The Well of Ascension starts with this???

[musicalmaster]

How Other Cosmere Characters Would Convince The Stick to Become Fire

Shallan once famously failed to convince the Stick to become fire. But how might other characters approach this stick-y problem?

Moash: There is nothing for you as a stick. Fade away. Become ash.

Hoid: Do you like stories, Stick? How about the one about Firestick, the Stick Who Became Fire…

Rlain: To understand fire, you must become fire. It’s about bridging minds.

Renarin: I see no future in which you become fire…But the future can be changed!

Steris: I have prepared 957 reasons why being fire would be advantageous for you. Reason 1, Part A…

Lopen: Women LOVE a stick who can become fire, gon!

Dalinar: You WILL become fire.

Dalinar: …Huh. That usually works.

Lift: You know what’s delicious? Toasted marshmallows!

Navani: (Gets out a big magnifying glass)

Jasnah: (Turns a rock into fire instead)

Jasnah: I like to challenge myself.

Mraize: You have to ask yourself, Little Stick: are you hunter, or are you the prey?

Kelsier: I like your style, Stick! You want to join my crew? Your job is being fire!

Odium: First, I must take away everyone this Stick loves!

Nale: I have convinced the ruler to draft a new law. You must become fire.

Sebarial: (Getting a massage) Eh. I hired someone else to do it.

Kaladin: No. This is…wrong.

Kaladin: This Stick wants to be a Stick. And I will protect it!

Kaladin: It will not cease to be a stick on my watch!

Stick: (immediately becomes fire)

Kaladin: NOOOOOOOOOO

[musicalmaster]

Shan Elariel x Vin x Allrianne Cett. Girl's night ✨

[musicalmaster]

The reason I love Elend so very much is that like he was set up to be a coward. He is in a position of privilege, doesn’t have any particular strengths, and is generally Out of The Loop. But when it is time to make a decision he just Risks His Life. no plan at all. And then he Keeps doing it. It wasn’t a one off he is just like that; he is gonna go into a Koloss camp as a regular dude based on convictions alone. Then he spends all of book 2 being like “I feel like I don’t belong in the crew,” but buddy you do!!! You are fucking crazy!!!

[musicalmaster]

The Mistborn Muppets Movie by Jess Wallace Nielsen

Source

Kelsier: Gonzo Marsh: Kermit Ham: Fozzie Breeze: Ms. Piggy Sazed: Bunson Spook: Beaker Dockson: Spook Clubs: Sweetums OreSeur: Rowlf Vin: Millie Bobby Brown Elend: Tom Holland Lord Ruler: Pepe

[musicalmaster]

what is cosmere? (is that what its called?)

The Cosmere is a big, interconnected fantasy universe that is the setting of most of the works by the author Brandon Sanderson. The cool thing about his books is that each series is contained to its own world, and you can read any of them in isolation without realizing you're missing anything, but if you read them all you get a sense of the larger plot happening behind the scenes as those worlds start to collide and things cross over.

Brandon's magic systems tend to be very rule-based and well-defined, with a lot of twists being characters finding interesting ways to use those rules of magic. This lends itself well to the crossovers, because all the magic systems (as different as they are) share the same underpinning principles.

Here's some quick rundowns of different series and standalones in the Cosmere:

The Stormlight Archive

Planned ten-book series, currently four books are out.

A massive sprawling epic about the world Roshar, that's hit by a hurricane about every four days, and all the life has adapted to survive that environment. Knights Radiant -- superpowered individuals with a close bond to a spirit -- are starting to re-emerge in the world after being absent for centuries.

Because there are so many characters, this is where a lot of the character fandom tends to focus their efforts. I wouldn't recommend starting with it, though -- the first book alone is a thousand pages. I'd wait until you have a sense of Brandon's writing. But it's very good.

Mistborn

One trilogy (completed), one tetralogy set a couple hundred years later (completed), two trilogies some time in the future.

One cool thing about this series is that it follows one world (Scadrial) from a vaguely Renaissance tech level in the first trilogy, to 1920s in the second series, and eventually 1980s in the third and space-age magic in the fourth.

The magic itself is very intricate and all woven around metals -- there are people called Metalborn who can ingest metals and burn them in their stomachs to get different effects, including super-senses, strength, and Magneto-ish metallokinesis. That last bit makes the gunfights in the second series particularly fun.

The first book is a heist novel about robbing a thousand-year-old God-Emperor blind. It's a pretty good place to start, although it's a pretty hefty novel to start with.

The Emperor's Soul

I'm putting this one in a different category from the rest of the one-offs for a very good reason -- it's, in my opinion, the single best place to start reading the Cosmere.

It's a novella (just over a hundred pages) about a forger named Shai who uses magic to rewrite the histories of objects. She is captured by the government of an empire to reforge the soul of their Emperor, who has been left braindead after an assassination attempt, in the 100 days before the mourning period is over.

It's a fantastic meditation on art, a cool introduction to the way Brandon writes both characters and magic systems, and Shai herself is one of my favorite Cosmere characters. If any of this sounds at all interesting to you, I recommend you check it out.

One-offs

Brandon has also written a bunch of one-off novels in the Cosmere.

Elantris: His first book, and the one that my tattoo is from. About a prince who is affected by a dark transformation and thrown into a city of fellow undead, and the princess betrothed to him who arrives just in time to be told he died. Good, but suffers from some first book issues, pacing problems, and weird plot cul-de-sacs. Set in the same world as The Emperor's Soul, although there's basically no crossover.

Warbreaker: About a world where souls (Breaths) are bought and sold, and used to animate objects to do work, ruled by The Returned, living gods who require a steady dose of Breaths to live. One of my favorites, and an essential if you'd like to get into the crossover-y parts of the cosmere, as it introduces a bunch of elements that show up later (Especially in Stormlight)

Tress of the Emerald Sea: The first of his wildly successful Kickstarter project books, it's a fairy tale style story about a girl who braves a sea of bubbling, deadly spores to rescue the man she loves. It's lovely, especially if you're into a more Diana Wynne Jones kind of vibe to your fantasy. Probably a pretty good place to start!

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter: The third Kickstarter book. About a shrine priestess who stacks rocks to draw spirits, and a man who paints the nightmares that roam the streets of his city to banish them -- they become trapped in each other's places and must learn about each other's worlds to survive. This is currently my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE cosmere novel, oh my GOD it's so good. I'm not sure it's a great place to start, as a lot of the conclusion might feel a bit rushed if you don't have a good feel for the vibe of how Brandon writes magic, but honestly it might stand alone just fine even then.

The Sunlit Man: Fourth Kickstarter book. I haven't read this one yet.

Novellas: There are a bunch of novellas and short stories, some set on worlds we haven't otherwise seen, some set on Roshar or Scadrial.

If any of this sounds good to you, I recommend you give his writing a shot. He's one of my all time favorite writers (the tattoo should prove that, lol) and the Cosmere fandom is by and large wonderful and welcoming. I've made many lifelong friendships there.

[musicalmaster]

Shard roller disco: Scadrial Part 2 Kelsier living his rockstar truth. Music? Murder On The Dancefloor by Sopie Ellis-Bextor. Obviously.

More Shard Roller Disco AU: Roshar Nalthis Sel and Scadrial First of the Sun and Taldain Threnody Roshar 2 (row spoilers) Roshar 3 Bonus Dawnshard (spoilers)