muslimintp-1999-girl - Tumblr blog

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

i want peace,

not the measured one that life offers me from time to time like a band-aid that will be ripped off before I heal

I want it like a graft,

patching up the exposed areas that i scraped off of my soul to feel lighter..

to move on.

I’m trying to write an independent story from all the tragedies of the women around me

digging my own plot with my nails on the exact same rocks that were used

to stone them..

carrying the guilt of that, the way they carried the shame of existence. The only difference is i refuse to ask for forgiveness.

sometimes it feels like all my feelings are over felt, if not by me then someone else.

I've seen it over and over again I, the eye of an outsider

or that of the storm

stood still when it all spiraled around me, I held on to the rubble,

and cemented myself back together

more often than not, I did it with rage so whenever i got spilled, like blood under an old rug,

with all my particles separated into different identities, unseen, uncared for while i floated in an astral projection status

Ironically, the core was always one

rage, rage again…

aging rage!

It's all that i know, it's all the shades.

I exist, Like an ugly bruise

Violet fading to blue, violent, contrasting the softness that i long for.

I can't seem to explain my existence to anyone, not even myself.

a bruise, self inflicted or not, I can’t stop examining it, obsessively

dissecting pieces of my soul, trying to find a marker for the malicious cells that overgrown my own.

In the daylight I get fascinated by the way it changes colors, and when sleep sits heavy on my eyelids i press on it harder,

curious to where will i draw my threshold line.. do i know how to exist without all this pain?

am i just a phantom of coping mechanisms, and survival instincts,

Shades of hysteria, along with estrogen ?

this world constantly seems bigger than me, that’s my only comfort.

•••

• Quotes: Taylor Swift/ Charles Bukowski/ Henry Miller/ anne sexton/ Louis Tomlinson/ Anaïs Nin/ Rainer Maria Rilke.

•original context: Sinligh

•Art reference:

1. painting by marta astrain. 2. Omen, 1886, by Emile Corsi 3. Oil paintings by Jen Mazza 4. Art by Liu Yuanshou 5. Art (detail) by Arthur Gain

•••

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

Messages of support and strength from Rafah, Palestine to the US student movement.

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

Bothering the beast

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

Gale knows I chose him over Peeta when I didn’t make a run for it… But since I don’t plan on making it back alive a second time, the sooner Gale lets me go, the better. I do plan on saying one or two things to him after the reaping, when we’re allowed an hour for good-byes. To let Gale know how essential he’s been to me all these years. How much better my life has been for knowing him. For loving him, even if it’s only in the limited way that I can manage.

But I never get the chance.

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

casual reminder that if gale and katniss had gone into the arena together they would have been ACTUAL STAR-CROSSED LOVERS and brought the Capitol down in flames

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

gale hawthorne is rad as heck pass it on

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

I have chosen Gale and the rebellion. A future with Peeta is the Capitol’s design, not mine.

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

Being out in the woods with Gale…sometimes I was actually happy.

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

I think of Gale, who is only really alive in the woods, with its fresh air and sunlight and clean, flowing water. I don’t know how he stands it. Well… yes, I do. He stands it because it’s the way to feed his mother and two younger brothers and sister.

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

Gale is right. If people have the courage, this could be an opportunity.

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

Gale looking at Katniss.

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

thg meme ♔ nine characters {5/9}

↬ Gale Hawthorne

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

characters doing the thing where they shield other characters from harm with their own body physically hurts me

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

Gale, who I have never seen cry, has tears in his eyes. To keep them from spilling over, I reach forward and press my lips against his. We taste of heat, ashes, and misery. It's a surprising flavor for such a gentle kiss.

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

The world will be watching 

A character you feel the need to defend - Gale Hawthorne