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masochism mood: being kept on the floor. every time it tries to get up it gets slapped. if it keeps trying to get up it gets pushed. if it still won't stay down it gets kicked. if it somehow still keeps trying to get up it gets stepped on and ground into the floor. it keeps trying to get up because it's been told to.

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dogslop v4 recipe test success! you are seeing the primordial DogFood (add water to create slop) and also my DogChunks. i'm really happy with where this is at. the flavour is fine, which is exactly where it should be. it is 100% nutritionally complete, and also dairy-free and nut-free.

how to get your very own dogslop v4:

400g sweet potato

300g firm tofu

100g red lentils

80g beetroot, peeled

60g kale

40g spinach

15g nutritional yeast

30g pea protein powder

30g tomato paste

25g sunflower oil

3-6g salt to taste

today i steamed the sweet potato and beetroot until fork tender, boiled the lentils, added everything together and then used an immersion blender to combine. not a good choice of blender for this task. this is a thick slop. that's all you need to get the slop though, just add water as you please or eat it thick style. microwaving it before serving helps with the pea protein mouthfeel but the real solution is probably to use a nicer protein powder.

i tried a couple different methods of shaping DogChunks and the one with the best effort:result ratio was to pipe them and cut them with scissors as you would for spaetzel, but cutting them way shorter, onto a baking sheet. i put them in the oven at 150°C until they felt solid to touch.

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One of the hottest things a girl has said to me these past few years is "you can just make new erogenous zones" after ripping my arm open and putting a magic wand on the wound.

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Did you know that horses are still used for logging? Not just as a way to keep traditional handicrafts alive, but because horses are genuinely better at some jobs than machines?

Horses are much gentler on sensitive ecosystems, they're more flexible in rocky terrain, and they don't topple over on a hillside.

They can enter dense forests and drag out one specific tree without damaging the other trees and without compacting or eroding the soil.

They also run on hay instead of gas or electricity. Horses don't pollute the ecosystem with either oil leaks, gas stench, or noise.

In conclusion, draft horses are awesome c:

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mindbreaking and training a puppysub into perfect attack dog and then showing off all of my best work to my friends like a dog show. keeping them perfectly docile and eager to please until i snap my fingers and their mind turns off and the only thing they can think of is hurting whatever i've pointed them at and then trotting back to me ready for their reward once it's stopped moving

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jaw

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(in an effort to flirt with you) I get hard when you talk down to me and hit me a lot and I whimper if you treat me like a dog . I also have an earnest demeanor and a beautiful soul

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caution: bite risk

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Jesus Christ I really recommend having two girls spitroast you

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paws

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google calendar alert for hit bong and unthinkingly idly play with labia on couch while watching movie (🕜 2 hrs)

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bound and gagged again

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they'll get along now