Text

66 notes
·
View notes
Text
masochism mood: being kept on the floor. every time it tries to get up it gets slapped. if it keeps trying to get up it gets pushed. if it still won't stay down it gets kicked. if it somehow still keeps trying to get up it gets stepped on and ground into the floor. it keeps trying to get up because it's been told to.
747 notes
·
View notes
Text


dogslop v4 recipe test success! you are seeing the primordial DogFood (add water to create slop) and also my DogChunks. i'm really happy with where this is at. the flavour is fine, which is exactly where it should be. it is 100% nutritionally complete, and also dairy-free and nut-free.
how to get your very own dogslop v4:
400g sweet potato
300g firm tofu
100g red lentils
80g beetroot, peeled
60g kale
40g spinach
15g nutritional yeast
30g pea protein powder
30g tomato paste
25g sunflower oil
3-6g salt to taste
today i steamed the sweet potato and beetroot until fork tender, boiled the lentils, added everything together and then used an immersion blender to combine. not a good choice of blender for this task. this is a thick slop. that's all you need to get the slop though, just add water as you please or eat it thick style. microwaving it before serving helps with the pea protein mouthfeel but the real solution is probably to use a nicer protein powder.
i tried a couple different methods of shaping DogChunks and the one with the best effort:result ratio was to pipe them and cut them with scissors as you would for spaetzel, but cutting them way shorter, onto a baking sheet. i put them in the oven at 150°C until they felt solid to touch.
1 note
·
View note
Text
One of the hottest things a girl has said to me these past few years is "you can just make new erogenous zones" after ripping my arm open and putting a magic wand on the wound.
615 notes
·
View notes
Text
Did you know that horses are still used for logging? Not just as a way to keep traditional handicrafts alive, but because horses are genuinely better at some jobs than machines?


Horses are much gentler on sensitive ecosystems, they're more flexible in rocky terrain, and they don't topple over on a hillside.
They can enter dense forests and drag out one specific tree without damaging the other trees and without compacting or eroding the soil.
They also run on hay instead of gas or electricity. Horses don't pollute the ecosystem with either oil leaks, gas stench, or noise.

In conclusion, draft horses are awesome c:
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
mindbreaking and training a puppysub into perfect attack dog and then showing off all of my best work to my friends like a dog show. keeping them perfectly docile and eager to please until i snap my fingers and their mind turns off and the only thing they can think of is hurting whatever i've pointed them at and then trotting back to me ready for their reward once it's stopped moving
85 notes
·
View notes
Text
(in an effort to flirt with you) I get hard when you talk down to me and hit me a lot and I whimper if you treat me like a dog . I also have an earnest demeanor and a beautiful soul
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
Jesus Christ I really recommend having two girls spitroast you
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
paws
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
google calendar alert for hit bong and unthinkingly idly play with labia on couch while watching movie (🕜 2 hrs)
#gonna do this on sunday im so hype#my housemate is FINALLY not having her loud as fuck girlfriend stay the weekend
225 notes
·
View notes