mwah-or-something

[mwah-or-something]

The alien ambassador talks in length about treaties, alliances, and other such terms. But the only thing you can focus on is the Alien’s cute snout, perfect for booping. You want to boop it. You need to boop it.

[mwah-or-something]

Crews Quick Guide to Humans

Quiet humans are not defective. Loud humans are not defective. Unless there is a significant change, assume your human is operating at normal levels.

Human words do not mean the same thing all the time. Look up the study of human tone if you want to always know what your human means.

Human females will smell of blood each month. If this changes, ask your human in private if something happened.

Human males often do not know how loud they are. Asking them to lower their voice is not offensive.

Human cultures vary greatly and various cultures have conflicting beliefs. Most humans will not be offended if you cannot keep up with this.

Humans do not share a hive mind but do have several musical triggers that activate a human chorus. These triggers transcend most cultural and language barriers.

All Stabby units come with a human locator setting. Use liberally.

Ask for a detailed explanation before agreeing to join a human on any non work activity.

Be aware of human hobbies and skills. Humans enjoy company and will likely teach you whatever they know. It is also beneficial to know what your human may do should they get bored.

Do not be too concerned over what humans ingest, so long as they do so willingly and with the full knowledge of what they are ingesting.

Unless you hear a human say something along the lines of ‘I hope this works’ or ‘here goes nothing’, assume they have a working knowledge at the attempted task.

If you hear a human say one of the above phrases, take cover as it is likely too late to stop or report them.

[mwah-or-something]

Human: "That asshole! I'll kill him!"

Alien: "You can't! That's a crime! Wait... you want to kill his asshole? How does one do that? Is your asshole a seperate entity?"

Human: "..... No...."

---

Human: "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

Alien: "Which bridge? You mean the commandcentre?"

---

Alien: "You were right, this method also worked."

Human: "See, all roads lead to Rome."

Alien: "You mean that Earth city? But we are traveling away from Earth. How would this route lead back to Rome?

---

Alien: "She refused my marriage proposal."

Human: "I'm sorry to hear that, but there's plenty more fish in the sea."

Alien: "Yes, but I'm not attracted to fish."

---

Alien: "Did you hear about Xontang? He got caught dealing drugs, just like his dad."

Human: "Yeah, the apple didn't fall far from the tree."

Alien: "Are apples drugs?! My instruction manual on human food didn't mention that!"

---

Human: "There he is, talk about the devil."

Alien: "Is John the devil? I thought the devil was a mythical creature."

I absolutely love all the space australia/ humans are weird/space orcs things going around, so I haven’t been able to stop thinking about stuff like metaphors and idioms and figurative speech. Like, what if those had been purely human concepts?

Human: “He really broke Omar’s heart”

Alien: “What?? Is Omar still alive? Can he be healed? Is it culturally appropriate to seek out revenge?”

Human: “No, no, like… He hurt him badly.”

Alien: “Yes I understand that your cardiovascular system is important.”

- - -

Human: “She’s a real wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

Alien: “What is a wolf?”

Human: “It’s a predator - you know, the one dogs descent from?”

Alien: “… She looks human. How do you know the value of her clothes?”

- - -

Human: “That dickhead stabbed me in the back”

Alien: “MEDIC!!!!”

- - -

Human 1: “Wish me luck!”

Human 2: “Break a leg!”

*Horrified aliens in the background*

[mwah-or-something]

Crews Quick Guide to Humans

Quiet humans are not defective. Loud humans are not defective. Unless there is a significant change, assume your human is operating at normal levels.

Human words do not mean the same thing all the time. Look up the study of human tone if you want to always know what your human means.

Human females will smell of blood each month. If this changes, ask your human in private if something happened.

Human males often do not know how loud they are. Asking them to lower their voice is not offensive.

Human cultures vary greatly and various cultures have conflicting beliefs. Most humans will not be offended if you cannot keep up with this.

Humans do not share a hive mind but do have several musical triggers that activate a human chorus. These triggers transcend most cultural and language barriers.

All Stabby units come with a human locator setting. Use liberally.

Ask for a detailed explanation before agreeing to join a human on any non work activity.

Be aware of human hobbies and skills. Humans enjoy company and will likely teach you whatever they know. It is also beneficial to know what your human may do should they get bored.

Do not be too concerned over what humans ingest, so long as they do so willingly and with the full knowledge of what they are ingesting.

Unless you hear a human say something along the lines of ‘I hope this works’ or ‘here goes nothing’, assume they have a working knowledge at the attempted task.

If you hear a human say one of the above phrases, take cover as it is likely too late to stop or report them.

[mwah-or-something]

while i understand why a lot of sci-fi has humans being shitty to AIs while the AIs are like “i am just existing what the fuck” I think it’d be fun to do the opposite. Homo “will packbond with anything” sapiens DESPERATELY trying to get the favor and friendship of an Artificial Intelligence that is mostly indifferent to them. They want the ship’s computer to like them sooooo fucking bad!!

[mwah-or-something]

And to throw away all the printed stuff and sketches that are not important anymore..

As a student , there is nothing better than finally finishing a project , then being able to close all the tabs in the browser related to that project

[mwah-or-something]

Pop Culture References in Shrek 2 (1/?)

Click the gifs for more information

[mwah-or-something]

Children should be seen, not heard.

In my opinion this is an outdated concept. When I was little this was most applied in stores, the 'don't touch anything' remark was heard often. But when I became a mum a realized that when adults walk through a store, they pick something up when it catches their eye, to look at it more closely or to show it to their company. So why do we forbid children to do the same, when it only comes naturally to them, just like to us? The most obvious reason would be because they could damage something. But isn't it more rewarding in the long term, to teach them how to be carefull when picking something up? And second I noticed that the first response of most people to children who show you something in a shop, is to say 'we're not buying that', but my daughter shows me things not just because she want me to buy it, but also simply because she wants to show it to me. And don't we do the same when we're with someone and discover something nice? My reaction to my daughter is usually a nice remark about the object and then I remind her to put it back where she found it. And she always does and rarely asks to have it, though she does ask it more now she is getting older, but how I deal with that is a different story for another time.

[mwah-or-something]

De moderne zwaan heeft geen 'Natural habitat' nodig om zijn nest in te maken, ze doen tegenwoordig gewoon aan recyclen. @Centraal station, onder de brug richting de OBA