my-brain-is-stupid-sometimes

[my-brain-is-stupid-sometimes]

All you need to know about Timber is that Tim was Bernard's queer awakening by accident and Bernard was Tim's queer awakening on purpose

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Bruce: I don't understand why people say the adoption process is hard. No? It's not? You just pick a child from the street, bring them home and call your lawyer. Nothing complicated about that.

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because it's Friday the 13th, the original of freaky Friday, can you give us some freaky timbern?

I'm late, I'll repay you in extra freak.

—

Dick: Roy, you can't sleep with Jason.

Roy: Why not???

Dick: Because you and I slept together in our teens. It'd be weird.

Jason: That's not my fault you have good taste in sex partners and only sex partners!

Roy: Nor is it mine.

Dick: Well, what then, are you gonna try to sleep with Tim next!?

Tim, not looking up from a case he's working on: If I was willing to date or sleep with a ginger I would've gotten with Ives.

Bernard: Also because you're in a committed relationship?

Tim, downing a can of zesti: Yes, also that.

Jason: Didn't need any of that information. And none of you can stop us, 'cause we already did it.

Dick, slowly pulling out his escrima: You did what to my little wing?

Roy: F#-$.

—

Bruce: Has... Has Tim been wearing chokers?

Dick: Huh? Oh, yeah! I don't have the heart to tell him that half of them don't go with his outfits.

Stephanie: Like you can give fashion advice.

Jason: Your first Spoiler costume gave you a permanent wedgie.

Cassandra: You wore an enlarged red pill on your head and walked around in it.

Damian: I am proud to say I'm the only member of this family who has never failed at costume design.

Duke: That's because Alfred makes all your costumes.

Damian: . . . Quiet, fool.

Bruce: None of this answers why Tim has been wearing chokers.

Barbara: They're not chokers, they're collars. He and Bernard have been "experimenting" proof of Tim's credit card purchases from Spencer's.

Stephanie: . . . Spencer's BDSM stuff sucks though?—

—

Tim, glaring at a hickey in the mirror: Bear, how am I supposed to explain this one to my family?

Bernard, in three times as many scratches, bites, and hickeys: Own it.

Tim:

Bernard: Concealer and or turtleneck?

Tim: I hate you.

Bernard: Love you to, babe.

—

Tim: Nothing hurts worse than the sting of betrayed...

Bernard, driving like a maniac and flipping people off: Tim, you just spilt a skillet full of boiling grease all over yourself. We're on the way to the hospital. What betrayal?!

Tim: I wanted my fried onions...

Bernard: Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne you have a new degree of burns that I don't think exists—

Tim: 'tis but a scratch.

Bernard: Tim!?

Tim: I got shot in the neck once, no biggie.

Bernard: By the gods, no wonder you're not into pain play, you feel no pain...

Tim: Half of my nerves are fried from years of breaks, and stab and gunshot wounds, I can only feel pain in small, select portions of my body.

Bernard: And after you recover from an assault by ONIONS I will be sure to find every single last one of them. For now work on your acting skills, this is how everyone figures out your identity!

—

Tim: . . . What do you mean I wasn't your first boyfriend?

Bernard: It was only a two month things and we decided we weren't ready, right person wring time kinds thing, y'know—

Tim: Name.

Bernard: What?

Tim: I want a name. You met Steph and Ariana.

Bernard: Yes, two long-term relationships you had that lasted longer than two months.

Tim:

Bernard:

(It was Ives. Tim had a mental breakdown because he could've dated two baddies at once—)

—

Tim, making out with Bernard in his room at the manor:

Damian, walking in casually:

Tim, who is in his boxers and a t-shirt: Wha— Damian, get out!

Damian: Father said you'd take me to get ice cream.

Tim: I am kinda BUSY HERE!

Damian: But I want ice cream.

Bernard: Uh, can it wait, like, twenty minutes?

Damian: No.

Tim: Fifteen??

Damian: No. Now get pants on, Drake! I demand chocolate with banana chunks!

Tim: I'm not gonna get laid because you want the worst possible ice cream flavor?!

Damian: You're unworthy of intimacy! Now hurry, Todd is waiting.

Tim: JASON CAN DRIVE YOU!

Damian: HE LOST HIS LICENSE AFTER PURPOSEFULLY RUNNING INTO A CYBER TRUCK AGAIN! NOW GET PANTS ON AND TAKE US FOR ICE CREAM!

Tim, groaning as he picks up his pants from the floor: I hate everything.

Bernard: Aw, it's okay. I'll make sure to make up every time we ever have or will miss out on sex tonight~

Tim: Oh, I'm looking forward to it...

Damian: No acts of affection or sexual exchange until I have been rewarded with ice cream for my good grade on my English report!

—

Tim, laying face first in bed:

Bernard: . . . Are you depressed?

Tim, muffled: No, just tired.

Bernard: Oh, good, then I can say this.

Bernard: Damn, nice a#&.

—

Tim: I killed Santa Clause once.

Bernard: . . . You killed Saint Nicholas?

Tim: Unfortunately.

Bernard:

Bernard: That shouldn't arouse me.

Bernard: And yet, here we are.

—

Random homophobe: Marriage is between a man and a woman.

Bernard: And sex is between my d#-& and boyfriends a&#. And sometimes our third is between us. And sometimes light bondage...

—

Tim, dressed as Caroline Hill, in his house boat:

Bernard, walking in and pausing: . . .

Tim: I can explain everything.

Bernard: Why are your boobs so big??

Tim: I can explain almost everything.

Bernard: Can I touch them?

Tim: Only if I don't have to explain anything.

—

Bernard, mid gala, bored, going right up to Tim and smacking his a#&: HI! I'm Tim's boyfriend!

Girl who was flirting with Tim:

Tim: That he is.

Random aristocrat: Oh, can you explain then why Mr. Drake-Wayne has been walking with a limp tonight? He's been making several excuses.

Bernard: Oh, yeah. I f#&$ed him to hard last night, my bad.

Tim, glaring at Bernard because he was actually shot in the thigh by one of The Penguin's goons: That he did...

[my-brain-is-stupid-sometimes]

I love bernard, but Damian fit this audio so well

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james who wants to encourage toddler harry to gain more confidence, so he dares him to go into a shop and get the prettiest thing there for 20 pounds.

harry who gets out of the shop holding —a slightly confused— regulus' hand hostage, almost screaming "pa! i found pretty boy! he was free!!"

and that's how jegulus meet.

[my-brain-is-stupid-sometimes]

i tried

[my-brain-is-stupid-sometimes]

RIP Tim drake, you would’ve LOVED Harry potter’s dead parents from the 70s and their gay best friends

nah Tim Drake and the entire batfam would boycott HP and everything to do with it, as should be done

[my-brain-is-stupid-sometimes]

Part ELEVEN of things me and my friends have said as young justice:

Tim: Wanna go on a mission this weekend?

Kon: I'm good, Clark invited me out for fathers day, you doing anything for fathers day?

Tim: Yeah, BIG PLANS.

Kon: Oh, yeah what are you doing?

Tim:... Kon:... Tim:... Kon:... Tim:...

Kon: *Collapses to the ground* OMFG, I'm so sorry Tim: Forget something for a second there?

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Dick: Hey, Tim, your birthday is coming up, do you want anything?

Tim: Actually-

Jason, munching on a sandwich: Nah, that motherfucker was born by C-section. It's not his birthday, it's his release date.

Steph and Babs: *shoots water out their noses*

Bruce: JASON!

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Tim explaining star wars.

The original clip is really funny to me teehee

[my-brain-is-stupid-sometimes]

Tim explaining star wars.

The original clip is really funny to me teehee

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hcing kon as dyslexic bc he calls tim "wonder boy" instead of "boy wonder" and i believe he read it wrong once and didn't want to admit it so just stuck with the bit

kon: oh where's my wonder boy!

tim: did you mean "boy wonder"?

kon, glancing over at the article he saw calling tim that seeing it does in fact say "boy wonder":

kon: no

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tim discovers a new hyperfixation every week. some stick around for a while (like the whole batman thing ... ha). but most come and go (like the time he––like most nerds––went through a magician phase ... he'd prefer to not talk about it).

but that's what happens when you grow up with too much money and too little supervision: you find ways to entertain yourself. you fill an empty house with gadgets and trinkets, you pick up a million hobbies in the hope that one day you'll have someone to share them with ... or in the hope that one day, your parents might stop and say "good job" or "I'm proud of you" for just onceinhisentirelife–

so yes, tim is multitalented and competent at a great number of things. enjoy it for what it is, don't stop to think too deeply about why that is, and you'll be fine. it's a system that's worked just fine for him for years ...

[my-brain-is-stupid-sometimes]

(4+1) 4 times Grayson has almost died and one time he actually did🗣️

This looked cooler in my head ngl, and you can tell I lost motivation time to time.

All of these moments are canon but slightly made more dramatic:

Forever evil #1

Nightwing (2016) #40

Grayson #5

Nightwing (2016) #25

Forever evil #6

[my-brain-is-stupid-sometimes]

i feel very called out

FIRST step to enjoying any media is getting attached to the character whose suicidal tendencies are the most obvious

[my-brain-is-stupid-sometimes]

Jason, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-  Tim , whispering: Should we call the exorcist?  Damian, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.  Dick, appalled: Call the exorcist.

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I’m not sure what’s funnier. All of gotham seeing Jason Todd out about with the Wayne family again after being definitely dead a few years ago, and the family not at all explaining it

Journalist: Is that the late Jason Todd with all of you here tonight?

Tim: Yeah

Journalist: Did he not die 5 years ago?

Tim: He did. Now he’s not.

Journalist: What exactly happened with him?

Tim: What are you a cop?

Or the whole family gaslighting everyone in Gotham into believing that Jason never died and was there the whole time

Journalist: Mr. Grayson, Is that your late brother at the hors d’oeuvres table?

Dick: (annoyed) Sure is. He can’t show up in time for Bruce’s speech but he can be here for the pigs in a blanket.

Journalist: I meant late as in… no longer with us.

Dick: I not sure what you mean, he’s always with us. You must not have seen him at all the other galas. He’s shy so he’s easy to miss.

Jason: (towering over everyone in his vicinity and shoving his mouth full of croquettes)