my-heartatlas-blog - Tumblr blog

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feels like I am breaking my own heart but I don’t know how to stop

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“Being popular at the renaissance festival is like sitting at the cool table in the lunchroom of a mental hospital.” 😍😩🙂🤪🤩

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Hysteria!

archaic: “the result of a lack of sexual expression for particularly passionate women”

today: “the conversion of emotions from a painful experience into physical pain”

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“Life is kinda complicated isn’t it? I think that’s why I went into computers.”

- my dad

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it’s been many many months since I’ve even opened that app. since my last post, i’ve fallen in love with someone i just cannot have (and we’re still in love), become obsessed with the body and the mystique of another man, started college, lost almost every close friend from my old life in LaCrosse, had my most personal thoughts that I wrote in my journal raider by my parents, started to build a new life in Minneapolis, joined a sorority, caused my family to cancel a trip to California, brought my body count from 0 to 6, started to feel so so much more confident in who I am, even though I still don’t know where my life is headed

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i think it’s time for another round of baby names

Kate // Catia // Esther // Atticus // Carrie // Bernard // Angelina // Madelaine // Madeline // Ophelia // Ofelia // Delia // Delilah // Salome // Emil // Blanche // Viola // Ted // Aubrey // Marla // Kjirsten // Sveta // Enid // Brogen // Petra // Stanley

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blowjob

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blasé

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i can’t recognize my life right now

first of all, I’m gone every night until at least 8pm

i no longer work at Festival Foods

instead I spend my days toiling at American Eagle (which is actually really, really fun, especially when it’s busy or cute guys compliment you)

i’m also a seasonal worker at Gander Outdoors (which is fantastic because I get 12.25 every hour) and i’m not going to quit GO until I blow this one guy who works there - it’s good to have goals right? It’s also great because I seem to have friends in common with a lot of kids that work there, which I didn’t expect but hey- I am also getting better at not stereotyping people because I work there. Enough said :)

i’m going to Chicago next weekend to tour DePaul University (which is where I think I’ll be spending the next 4 years of my life)

I am not even scared to go to Chicago or to college in general. I just want to walk the city streets and take it all in and learn awesome shit. I’m thinking I’ll double major in something businessy and Spanish, and I’ll minor in Anthropology. But we’ll see... I’ve had many of such plans

i am taking a ceramics class, which is outside of my comfort zone, but I’m quite liking it

I use HelloTalk almost every day for about an hour. it is a really amazing app, and I genuinely look forward to talking with some of the people I meet on there (except that one person who inexplicably told me about his morning wood one night... like Did I ask?)

I still feel largely uninvolved in what is going on at school, but hopefully that will keep changing, sitting with Maggie and Shealyn at lunch helps keep me on top of things a bit :) I really need to start going to Impact meetings

I am also trying this new thing: Minimalism. for the past few weeks, I’ve been gradually purging my closet and other belongings to either sell or donate. just yesterday I brought a huge load of stuff to New Horizons, the place on Main St that helps battered women. I was literally tearing up as I drove away. What a fantastic cause!!

I’ve just been out in the world more as of late and I’m definitely starting to see the difference. random strangers talk to me at the gym (man, I really need a workout), at the gas station, wherever, and it’s really nice :) I’m becoming more accountable for myself, paying attention to what I’m doing (and eating) and knowing that it does matter. People notice me, and what I think of myself is very important.

Just yesterday, the book I ordered came in: How to be Parisian whereever you are and I am REALLY excited to read it

I think I’m keeping my New Years resolution after all!

Things are certainly changing for me and there’s no plateau in sight.

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i don’t think I’m unattractive. however, I do believe that my attractiveness is wholly and unfortunately precarious

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via weheartit

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it's about finding a balance between focusing on the present and recognizing that your past shapes your future

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my new year’s resolution

i want to always have something to say when people ask what’s new

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I’ve been doing this since middle school and I don’t know why. I invent people for real people to be, and I imagine that those invented people are in my life. It really has nothing to do with the real people. Not really lust. Or attraction. Not admiration or fascination. I just pick people that look good and I imagine they are people they are not. If I could conjure up images of wholly made-up people in my mind, they too could be vessels for the characters of my strange imagination.

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the world is so big and i don’t understand how some people are content with seeing only such a small part of it