my-toxic-alternative-reality - Tumblr blog

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

If I was skinnier, wearing a skirt would be easier.

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

Things I hate:

When fat people touch me

Twitchy people, both drug addicts and normies who move in spastic ways

Pinching and rubbing, there is never an appropriate way to pinch or rub someone, even if it’s on the arm or on the back during a hug

Fat people who act like they haven’t eaten even though they literally just finished eating, they don’t need to be looking through the menu for more food, especially after eating off everyone else’s plates

That weird way of moving that people do when they’re trying to be precious but just come across as pretentious, like holding their hand out a certain way or putting their index finger against their thumb particularly when they run them together

When fat people hyperfocus on food and can’t just enjoy the company they’re with

When someone lectures you on how to do something but that something isn’t what you’re working on

Just being fucking touched in weird ways, like it is so unnecessary to touch my back at the dinner table and rub it

Like genuinely I think my fat family member is obsessed with my body and wishes they were me so they keep touching me and giving me advice and trying to turn me into them and they said they looked like me when they were young basically insinuating that I’ll get fat like them one day

Reckless drivers

People who literally can’t stop talking about food

Like you won’t die if you don’t eat a few meals, you’ll just be uncomfortable but it’s fine, calm down

People making me feel bad about my weight loss even though it’s been super gradual and healthy (ish), and I think they make a big deal about it because they’re jealous

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

"I want to be as beautiful as the ocean"

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You won’t believe what the ex-friend posted, this is so funny, I promise. It’s a photo of her with a cow and she said “the cow is bigger than I am”. Bitch what that’s so funny, you fat fuck, you needed to stand next to a LITERAL cow to feel small.

Meanwhile I met up with a couple friends I haven’t seen in a few months and they couldn’t stop gushing about how I’ve slimmed down. It’s working, I really am winning.

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

Some inspiration, you're welcome ❤️

Eat your veggies, fruits and nuts.

Drink water and coffee.

Brown rice, lean chicken is your friend.

On a budget? Eat tuna.

It's not about starving, it's about portion, control, nutritious meals and exercise. Same results, without the ups and downs of binge and restrict.

If you want real results. You have to eat sometimes. Want to survive to getting thinner? You have to eat sometimes. Consistent efforts of smaller healthier meals will lead to better results.

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No but seriously what’s with people who used to be a normal size gaining weight and dressing like they’re a size 2. Do they think wearing revealing tight clothes is going to squeeze them back into shape? Are they delusional?

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

I’m not skinny yet, but I’m working on it, I see my body change slowly. Slow and steady wins the race. My skin is clear, I have discipline to study for hours and I’m friendly. My spine stands straight, my muscles loose and my eyes sharp. There is room for improvement but the journey is so fun.

Then there that sad, sad girl, stuffing her face and stressing over her academics, and sure she graduated and was the teacher’s pet but she abused her health and ended up losing some hair and had to cut it short. She posts about going to the gym but you know she just goes to post sexy photos of her increasingly bigger body, desperate for attention and seeking compliments. They’re all lying of course when they say she looks good. Her skin has a sag to it, her tattoos are stretched, her teeth are yellowed from drinking too much coffee at all hours of the day. So much potential, and she threw it all away because she couldn’t stand putting in a little work.

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

Think about it, you’re working towards your goals.

You get up in the morning and stretch your lean muscles. A glass of water, maybe some tea, while you feed your dog. You have time to go through your entire skincare and make up routine without rushing, before taking the dog for a walk. You have time because you prioritize yourself and go to bed on time.

You head to the bus stop, dog at heel, well dressed and listening to an engaging podcast or a playlist that matches your mood. The bus driver knows you, they always say good morning to you because you always enthusiastically greet them rather than dismissing them like others do.

You’re teaching a class and then working on your PhD research. You’ve got a networking brunch with other researchers but it really just feels like a catch up, you’ve befriended them all and genuinely enjoy your networking events. The brunch spot knows you well and reserves the table by the window and always brings your dog a bowl of water.

You finish up early and head to the gym. You’ve got a cute matching set in your bag and a baggy hoodie. At the gym, people enjoy watching you move, you’re confident and fluid, something that came from practice, practice, practice. A couple girls ask for tips and you’re happy to share. After a shower and applying a heavier evening make up look, you head to a classy bar to catch up with some friends.

You have a salad and soup, happy to warm your bones after the long day whilst listening to your friends recount their days. The dog has her own chair pulled up next to you and she’s sleeping. She catches the eye of a waiter and he brings her a cup of bone broth and asks you for skincare advice. “Keep it simple” you tell them.

Heading home now, you kick off your shoes and immediately change out of our outside clothes into a loose but presentable matching set. You go through your skincare and hair care routine before sitting on the couch to read a few more chapters of your book before heading to bed.

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

My ex-friend is so fucking fat, it’s hilarious. She pretended to be anorexic when she literally just ate like shit 24/7. She’d call me and beg for me to come eat food with her so she wouldn’t “feel bad” and fall into her “anorexic tendencies”. I think she just wanted to create an illusion that if she eats what I eat, she’ll look like me except she wanted me to eat her fat food so maybe she wanted to make me fat like her.

She’s so gross, like truly at heart, she’s so disgusting. Lying about being anorexic is just flat out ugly. She wanted to always be the most “sick” girl in the room and needed every bit to fawn over her. How sad. Pitiful.

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

The goal, twiggy legs under stolen sweaters.

y'all wanna be skinny for summer but i wanna be skinny for fall/winter so i can wear big sweaters and not look like a fat pig underneath :D

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

It has been about a year since I sent Tina the message that listed her transgressions, that laid out where I felt she was not a friend. I recently came to the knowledge that at a mutual friend's birthday party, she held a dramatic reading of this long text. She desperately wished to make me the villain in her story and for any and all mutuals we share to be on her side. After all, she thinks she's the main character. Except she isn't. I am.

I am so glad Tina decided to have this dramatic reading, because turns out, they recorded some of it. I wish I had the whole speech, but I only obtained the smallest clip, and what joy this clip brings me. Because short, sad, self-centered Tina has blown up, a cylinder so thick in her torso that she makes her sausage arms and legs sticking out look normal shaped. She's laughing, I'm sure thinking to herself that she is winning this delusional war she thinks she's fighting. I know that she is miserable and she is attacking me to make herself feel better. It feels so good to know she is still desperately jealous of me, that all I need to do to "win" in her eyes is just keep being better. I'm taller, slimmer, bolder, and she hates that because she wants to be me.

Longest rant about Tina.

I had a friend, her name was not Tina, but she will be called Tina for this post. This will be a long post that will continue to grow whenever I remember something irritating about Tina, someone tells me something about Tina or she posts something that annoys me. I do not like Tina anymore but once considered her one of my closest friends. This is not a nice post. If you want to tell me to be nicer, don't bother.

Tina wants to be the main character. It is not enough for her to have a loving boyfriend and caring friends, she requires her friends to be her servants and her boyfriend's friends must also be obsessed with her. She has body issues, so sometimes when she's feeling particularly like a main character, she texted me to ask to come eat dinner at her place so that she would feel less bad about eating. She would probably feel less bad about eating if she ate more vegetables and didn't deep fry everything before coating it in mayo or butter.

Tina thinks she's anorexic. She is not. Even her two therapists told her this. She thinks she's anorexic because she wants to justify how fat she is by blaming it on restriction. Instead of accepting that she just eats shit and doesn't exercise, she wants to be pitied, like Tess Holiday or something. Tina was overweight when we were friends. In the last couple months she has become very obese and continues to put on weight. But she claims she's recovering from anorexia and is exercising so she needs to eat more. She does not.

This post will not make sense, and it will not be in order. It is for me.

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

Tina and I are no longer friends after I asked her for some space. I probably could've asked for space in a nicer way, but I just put some of her most recent transgressions out there. These amongst many others are what this post is about.

Tina used to play football, she says she was "one of the boys" and was super popular. She says she was super fit until she sustained an injury. She said she has not played football since that injury. At the time of the conversation, the injury was no longer present and was in fact a sprain from 2 years prior. Tina wanted to excuse her laziness and lack of discipline to work out on an injury. Her obsession with portraying herself as one of the boys was also very strange. Tina is clearly feminine, but seems to think that if you wear denim, you are masculine. I guarantee you that denim skirts that are a complete length of 6 inches are not masculine. I guarantee you that frilly tops without a bra do not make you masculine.

Tina wants to pretend that her obsession with boys is because she is "one of them" when in truth she wants them to be her pets. She has a boyfriend. We will call her boyfriend John. Tina and John are in a happy relationship for 2 years now. For timeline's sake, Tina stopped football at 17, I met her at 19 and she started dating John at 21. John has mostly male friends. All of which Tina requires to be her personal friends as well. When John is having boys night, she joins in. When John is going on a boys trip, she comes with. Tina is always in the middle controlling all the boys. And when she sees that there is a boy she can't control, she starts saying he's evil or gross, or that she hates him.

She has dated other people before John. Many people. She is very submissive and talks about how much she loves her partner while she's dating them, then immediately shits on them as soon as they break up. She loses control over them and instead of being mature and realizing that everyone is an individual with independent will, she begins to go off about how evil they are. She mars their name. She talks about how abusive they were. How she was a victim of SA and how they were mean to her. I used to believe her. But then her stories would change. And the trauma she claimed to have would be worse. It went from having her tit grabbed at 16 to kissing someone at 15 to having sex at 14. The name of the guy changed, his hair color, the country she was in, it was all a weak web of lies. She changed the story half a million times and often only after someone else opened up about their own trauma. No on is allowed to be more traumatized than Tina.

I chose not to tell Tina about my trauma. I chose not to tell her about the man who violated me, who made me small. Because it hurt too much to be told lies about how she has it worse. She never uses the word raped when describing her sexual assault, and I'll tell you why. Because SA isn't just penetration, and she want to claim penetration when what she experienced - also awful and undeserving to any living creature - was groping. She wanted to be more sick, more traumatized, more pitied than anyone else in the room. She needed to be the center of attention. I chose not to tell her anything, and that's when our friendship started dying.

Longest rant about Tina.

I had a friend, her name was not Tina, but she will be called Tina for this post. This will be a long post that will continue to grow whenever I remember something irritating about Tina, someone tells me something about Tina or she posts something that annoys me. I do not like Tina anymore but once considered her one of my closest friends. This is not a nice post. If you want to tell me to be nicer, don't bother.

Tina wants to be the main character. It is not enough for her to have a loving boyfriend and caring friends, she requires her friends to be her servants and her boyfriend's friends must also be obsessed with her. She has body issues, so sometimes when she's feeling particularly like a main character, she texted me to ask to come eat dinner at her place so that she would feel less bad about eating. She would probably feel less bad about eating if she ate more vegetables and didn't deep fry everything before coating it in mayo or butter.

Tina thinks she's anorexic. She is not. Even her two therapists told her this. She thinks she's anorexic because she wants to justify how fat she is by blaming it on restriction. Instead of accepting that she just eats shit and doesn't exercise, she wants to be pitied, like Tess Holiday or something. Tina was overweight when we were friends. In the last couple months she has become very obese and continues to put on weight. But she claims she's recovering from anorexia and is exercising so she needs to eat more. She does not.

This post will not make sense, and it will not be in order. It is for me.

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

Longest rant about Tina.

I had a friend, her name was not Tina, but she will be called Tina for this post. This will be a long post that will continue to grow whenever I remember something irritating about Tina, someone tells me something about Tina or she posts something that annoys me. I do not like Tina anymore but once considered her one of my closest friends. This is not a nice post. If you want to tell me to be nicer, don't bother.

Tina wants to be the main character. It is not enough for her to have a loving boyfriend and caring friends, she requires her friends to be her servants and her boyfriend's friends must also be obsessed with her. She has body issues, so sometimes when she's feeling particularly like a main character, she texted me to ask to come eat dinner at her place so that she would feel less bad about eating. She would probably feel less bad about eating if she ate more vegetables and didn't deep fry everything before coating it in mayo or butter.

Tina thinks she's anorexic. She is not. Even her two therapists told her this. She thinks she's anorexic because she wants to justify how fat she is by blaming it on restriction. Instead of accepting that she just eats shit and doesn't exercise, she wants to be pitied, like Tess Holiday or something. Tina was overweight when we were friends. In the last couple months she has become very obese and continues to put on weight. But she claims she's recovering from anorexia and is exercising so she needs to eat more. She does not.

This post will not make sense, and it will not be in order. It is for me.

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

I have a fat aunt. She takes these shots to lose weight but constantly eats and never loses the weight. I had some snacks I had stocked for a later date, and she took one of the bags of chips without really asking, "oh are these just for you?" and walked away with it. Didn't even bother waiting for much of a response.

Meanwhile, I was eating something last week and she said, "good thing you're signing up at that new gym", excuse me?

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

Manifesting to you all that your old clothes fit larger the next time you put them on

[my-toxic-alternative-reality]

❄️figure skating thinspo⛸️

Because im a figure skater too