myahmcbling - Tumblr blog

[myahmcbling]

I know this isn’t something you want to hear, but I think it’s something you need to hear: sometimes someone’s inability to love you the right way is not their fault. If you are the first person to show someone pure, genuine love, they may not know how to reciprocate because they’ve never experienced it before. In turn, they may not know how to give it back. This doesn’t mean that it’s your job to teach them, that you have to tolerate it, or that you deserve it, but I’ve found it incredibly helpful in my own healing to understand that sometimes people aren’t hurting you or treating you poorly intentionally. Sometimes people will self sabotage good things because they don’t think they’re worthy of it. Sometimes they just don’t know what to do, so they ruin it, whether that be by running away, being disrespectful, or causing pain. Sometimes, people still have their own growing to do. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you, it’s just that you happened to be there in the collateral damage. I don’t say this to justify any of their bad actions, but to offer a different perspective that may aid you in forgiving and ultimately reaching your peace.

— alhwrites

[myahmcbling]

None of your Concern

                              None of my concern anymore

            The attempts me keeping you by my side have failed

                Many many attempts

         It drains my energy not being heard, not being loved as I should be

But I guess that that's none of your concern either

Being treated as an afterthought damages my soul

Damages my organs and rusts my soul

My aura pleads to bind for yours but you can't force the unenforceable

                       But that's none of your concern 

[myahmcbling]

Thoughts

Thoughts soar through my mind while time flies by

           Eroding my brain and poisoning my body

          The overthinking gets so hard to bear that tears fall down my cheeks

          Silent cries turn into shudders and it’s all because of you

         Well maybe it’s because of me and my poisoned mind 

          Wish someone erased these impure thoughts and showered me with the love I deserve

                                   The affirmations I deserve

          Want to hear reassurance fall from your lips with a trusting smile

           I want you to clean up my tears and hug me out of this poisoned puddle of thoughts and feelings

                                     Why is that so hard to do

Sometimes I feel like the only one who can take me out of this puddle is me

                                            It’s always have to be me

                                                    All I have is me 

[myahmcbling]

Thoughts

Thoughts soar through my mind while time flies by

           Eroding my brain and poisoning my body

          The overthinking gets so hard to bear that tears fall down my cheeks

          Silent cries turn into shudders and it’s all because of you

         Well maybe it’s because of me and my poisoned mind 

          Wish someone erased these impure thoughts and showered me with the love I deserve

                                   The affirmations I deserve

          Want to hear reassurance fall from your lips with a trusting smile

           I want you to clean up my tears and hug me out of this poisoned puddle of thoughts and feelings

                                   Why is that so hard to do

Sometimes I feel like the only one who can take me out of this puddle is me

                                 It’s always have to be me

                                           All I have is me 

[myahmcbling]

Cinnamon Girl

Cinnamon girl seems so sweet before you take your first bite

You didn’t expect her to take a spicy turn on you

Thats her element of surprise

 Such a blessing and curse she is 

Playing a half-ass facade of her innocent nature until your really got to know her

Now you don’t want her, she is too much for you to handle

Dint expect that taste in your mouth

All the cinnamon girl wants is just to be loved

To be caressed and to be told it is okay to be who she is

Cinnamon girl were okay to be alone at first

knowing her complex nature was just enough for her and only her

But when she was ever ready to let her nature invade someone else space, it's too much

Surrendering her body was just enough for her but her mind was a whole different story

We all have a Cinnamon girl in our lives

And I am one of them.

[myahmcbling]

"This wasn't supposed to be a love song but I guess it is now "