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Blog Post #6 Reading Walking Awake by N.K. Jemisin struck a deep chord with me, not just because of its powerful storytelling, but because of how closely it reflects something I often experience in real life. Reading about how Sadie spent her life working under the control of the alien Masters, believing that their rule is natural and justified. But she starts to witness the true cruelty of the system, especially when it affects innocent children, she starts to question everything she thought was normal. This turning point in the story reminded me intensely of the moments I’ve had when talking to people about what’s happening in the Middle East, and specifically, to my people. For a long time, it can feel like people around me either don’t care, don’t understand, or are too comfortable in their own beliefs to truly see the injustice and pain that’s happening elsewhere. Like Sadie, they’ve grown up with a system that told them one version of the story, and it takes something powerful to break that narrative. But every so often, when I’m speaking from the heart, I see a moment in someone’s eyes where it finally clicks. It’s like watching that “light bulb” moment in real time, when someone realizes the truth is much more complicated, much more painful, than what they were told. That moment of awakening mirrors exactly what happens to Sadie in the story. Sadie’s growing awareness, and her ultimate act of resistance, is something that gives me hope. It reminds me that change is possible, not just on a large scale, but in the minds and hearts of individuals. It shows how one person waking up can lead to action, even if it’s painful or dangerous. Jemisin's story may be set in a sci-fi world, but for me, it reflects the emotional reality of trying to speak truth in a world that often prefers silence. Reading this story reminded me that even small conversations matter. That light bulb moment can be the first step toward empathy, resistance, and change. Like Sadie, I’ve learned that the

courage to speak and the willingness to listen can be powerful tools against systems of control. Out of all the stories I have read during this class, I have felt so close to this one. I loved to be able to connect this story to my life personally and how Sadie mirrors a lot of people in my life in different ways

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Blog Post #5 When I read Nalo Hopkinson’s "Greedy Choke Puppy," the moment that stood out most vividly was when Jacky flared into her fireball form and her granny, instead of recoiling in fear or judgment, comforted her. This scene was powerful because it subverted the expectation that Jacky would be condemned for what she is. Instead, her grandmother offers love, understanding, and solidarity, reminding Jacky that their entire family shares this identity. The transformation into a fireball becomes a moment of revelation and not shame. This moment it was a literal embodiment of Jacky's hidden, feared self. Her granny’s response reframes this terrifying power as something to be accepted and even cherished. This moment resonated deeply with me because it captures the emotional core of the story, which I felt was the struggle with self-acceptance in the face of generational and cultural inheritance. Jacky's fear and self-loathing are met not with rejection, but with belonging. It reminded me how powerful it is to be seen and accepted by someone who understands your struggle, not just emotionally, but on a deep, experiential level. Her grandmother’s words suggest that identity, no matter how strange or “monstrous” it might seem, doesn’t have to be a source of shame. It can be something shared, even celebrated. That moment shifted the story from one of horror and alienation to one of healing. It taught me that sometimes, what we fear most about ourselves is something others have already come to terms with and their love can help us do the same. No matter how Greedy Choke Puppy ends, this particular moment stayed with me because it felt so personal. My grandmas were the most important women in my life, and they reminded me so much of Jacky’s granny in that scene. Just like her, they had a way of making me feel safe, seen, and accepted, even when I was struggling with parts of myself. That kind of quiet reassurance, the kind that tells you you’re not alone, and that who you are is okay really meant everything to me, and seeing it reflected in the story made

the moment even more powerful. I feel like so many important scenes I have read in this class have made me see identity in such a different light. It’s like my eyes are opened to seeing things differently, and being able to point out a scene like this feels really special to me.

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Blog Post #4 Reading Alondra Nelson’s work opened me up to a completely new world. I had never really thought about how ideas of the future, especially in science fiction, tech culture, or even broader discussions about innovation, can be deeply racialized. Her discussion of how popular narratives imply that technology might create a raceless, bodiless future, which makes Black identities invisible in these envisioned futures, was one section of her work that truly caught my attention. That hit hard. It made me realize how much our cultural visions of the future tend to erase Blackness altogether, even when those visions claim to be about “progress” or “equality.” It’s crazy to me how even in futuristic, imagined worlds, where technology has supposedly solved all our problems, Black people still somehow end up erased or marginalized. That says a lot about the world we live in now. Nelson’s analysis made me think about how systemic racism is not just a thing of the past or the present, but something that is projected into the future through the media we consume and the tech we build. That was honestly mind-blowing to consider. Before reading Nelson, I thought of futurism as something exciting and full of so much possibility, but I didn’t realize how limited and exclusive those possibilities could be. I hadn’t considered who gets to be seen in those futures, or whose stories are told. Nelson’s work reminded me that if we’re not actively including Black experiences, bodies, and imaginations in our visions of the future, then we’re just reinforcing the same structures that have always excluded us. Even when the world is changing rapidly through digital revolutions, AI, space exploration, and more it’s like Black people are still left out, still impacted negatively, or just not considered at all. That contradiction really stayed with me. Nelson gave me language for something I’ve probably felt but couldn’t articulate, that futurism doesn’t automatically mean liberation for everyone. It has to be intentional. Reading her helped me see that there’s power in

reimagining futures that are grounded in Black experiences, not stripped of them. It’s a perspective I’ll carry with me in everything I read, watch, or create going forward. I would think as a middle eastern woman in today's time I would have come to this conclusion much quicker in life, but I love how much this class opens my eyes to.

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Blog Post #3 One piece of work that has stuck with me the most during this class is Spider the Artist by Nnedi Okorafor. I think the reason this story has stayed with me so strongly is because of the emotional connection I felt to the main character. The woman who was a peaceful and music-loving woman who faces abuse at home. This contrast between her inner light and the violence she faces hit me very deeply. It reminded me so much of someone close to my heart, my Auntie Selena, who lives back home in the Middle East. My auntie was very young when she got married and impressionable. My auntie Selena is one of the kindest, gentlest souls I have ever known. Similarly to the narrator in Spider the Artist, she has a voice that could move people. She sings with such emotion that even strangers feel connected to her. But her husband has always been cold and controlling, and he never appreciated her light. He hated when she sang and it actually made him even more abusive when she did sing. Reading Okorafor’s story, I couldn’t stop picturing my aunt and how strong she had to be just to survive the abuse, how she continued to show love and compassion in a world that didn’t always return it. What made the story even more powerful for me was the relationship the woman forms with the zombie-like spider robot. It was supposed to be dangerous and seriously deadly, but she was able to connect with it on a deeper level. That part really moved me, because I think it shows how pure and genuine she truly was. Even something made to kill could see the light in her. That moment felt symbolic and it was like she finally found something, even if not human, that responded to her in a way her husband never could. This connection reminded me of my aunt once again. Her purity and kindness always touched people, even when the person closest to her couldn’t see it. Spider the Artist gave me a way to see her story from a different lens, and made me think more deeply

about the quiet strength some women carry inside them. The story came to life for me because it felt so real and so personal. That’s why it has stayed with me more than anything else we’ve read.

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Blog Post #2 1. In the wake of relentless earthquakes that have shattered the infrastructure and spirit of California, I created an Earthseed community as a way to seek refuge from the destruction and instability. Entire cities had crumbled, and with each aftershock, the illusion of safety vanished. But the natural disasters were only part of the reason we chose to leave. The government's response to the crisis exposed a deeper injustice where men were being prioritized in rescue missions, resource distribution, and relocation programs, while women, especially women of color, were left behind. 2. The quote "Without adaptability, what remains may be channeled into destructive fanaticism. Without positive obsession, there is nothing at all" shapes the foundation of my Earthseed community. In a world shaken by disaster and injustice, we’ve seen firsthand how the refusal to adapt leads people down dangerous paths, clinging to old systems, rigid beliefs, and violent desperation. Our community embraces change as a form of strength, not weakness. We channel our "positive obsession" into rebuilding, learning, and caring for one another. It's not just survival but it’s focused, purposeful transformation. Without that obsession, we'd fall into chaos or apathy. With it, we grow. And another quote is “The only lasting truth Is Change. God Is Change”, is not just a philosophy, it’s a way of life. Every decision we make, from how we grow our food to how we resolve conflict, is rooted in the understanding that nothing stays the same. Instead of resisting change, we prepare for it, welcome it, and shape it with intention. This mindset has allowed us to adapt to the chaos outside, natural disasters, shifting power dynamics, and societal collapse, without losing our humanity. Change is our teacher, our test, and our guide. 3. We chose to build our Earthseed community on a deserted island, an untouched place with no history of earthquakes, far from the instability and betrayal we left behind. Here, surrounded by the ocean and open sky, we begin again with purpose. 4. Only women are allowed to join us, because in the wake of collapse, the men we trusted, partners, leaders, even family, abandoned, silenced, or exploited us. This community is our reclamation. A sanctuary shaped by resilience, not fear. Here, we grow our own food, make decisions collectively, and raise each other up under the guiding truth that God is Change. 5. Our Earthseed community is built on a foundation of democracy, where every woman has a voice and a role in shaping our future. We’ve seen what happens when power is hoarded or voices are silenced, so here, leadership is shared. Decisions are made collectively, through open dialogue and consensus, ensuring that each member’s experience and perspective are valued. This model not only fosters trust and unity but also reflects our belief that change is most powerful when guided by many hands, not just one.

6. In our Earthseed community, we have access to a new technology that allows us to shield our island from the outside world, creating a protective barrier that renders us invisible to anyone who might threaten our peace. It doesn’t just protect us physically, but it also ensures that we remain undetected, allowing us to flourish without interference from the chaos of the outside world. Our sanctuary is a place of quiet strength and self-sufficiency, where we can grow without fear, embracing the change we have chosen to shape. 7. In our Earthseed community, survival hinges on the principles of democracy, fairness, and equality. No one here is more worthy than anyone else and each voice matters, and every woman’s contribution is valued. We believe in shared responsibility, where decisions are made collectively and everyone plays a role in our success. To feed ourselves, we will farm the land, cultivating crops with care and respect for the island’s resources. We will use only what the island provides, relying on natural materials for shelter, tools, and everything we need to thrive. Our strength comes from unity, from working together as equals, and from living sustainably within the environment that sustains us. 8. Two essential steps we will take to build a better future in our Earthseed community are ensuring everyone stays educated and up to date with the world outside, and fostering a culture of full commitment to building the community. We will create a system of shared learning, where knowledge is passed down through generations and every woman is equipped with the tools to understand and adapt to changing circumstances, whether from the outside world or our evolving island. At the same time, each of us will dedicate ourselves to the collective effort of building and maintaining the community, whether through farming, resource management, or leadership. Every task, no matter how small, will be seen as part of a greater purpose. This commitment to education and shared responsibility ensures that our community not only survives, but thrives, with the strength and wisdom to shape the future we desire.

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Blog post #1 All readings and videos were amazing in this class so far and I have been thoroughly enjoying them all. One reading that particularly stood out to me was “God is Change”. As someone who is very close to their faith and religion, I just loved reading about Lauren. I know there was more to the entirety of “God is Change” but one specific thing stood out to me since it has to do with my personal life. In my journey with God, I have learned that you cannot escape change which is something the Earthseed members believe in. For me, change has always been the hardest thing. I am such a creature of habit, and change makes me so anxious. So everytime God has tried to change me or transform me, I feel like I hold myself back. In the novel it says “God is change” is intended as a wake up call to bring awareness that one cannot escape change; one can only be prepared or unprepared for it”. And this statement just really stuck with me because there are two kinds of ways to approach change, and one way is easy while the other is not. Being prepared for change makes everything smoother, because it is going to happen regardless. And this is something I am really trying to understand in my life right now, specifically as I am going to law school after graduation this fall. This also reminded me of a time in my life when my family moved from my childhood home and for the first time ever, I was in a new school. I tried to adjust SO badly, but nothing worked, I hated my life. So my parents drive me an hour every day to my old school, since I just could not face the change. But despite this, I had to face the change one way or another because I was forced to go to a new school the next year. The change was inevitable. But I just chose to not be prepared for it and had to tackle it later on. And I feel like this same cycle is affecting me even to this day which is crazy to me. But now I choose to be prepared, and honestly this reading really reminded me of this, and it came at such perfect timing, reminding me of how to face challenges that are inevitable.

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Blog post #6

While watching Abby this past week, I was honestly very terrified. Like very very terrified. When I first watched the Exorcist, I was around nine years old and my older cousins forced me to watch it, and proceeded to scare me the entire night. All of our parents were out, so per usual I was left with my older siblings and cousins. I stood no chance. My cousins my age and I were tormented, but in a “loving” cousin way (I think..). But it is safe to say we began to hate scary movies after that night. I look back at this memory now and laugh but I could honestly say that I have since been traumatized. So now, anything that is similar to this movie, just absolutely terrifies me. So watching this film was definitely the most unpleasant experience I have had in this class, actually, it is the only unpleasant experience since I have enjoyed every other film and story. Watching Abby and reliving the memories I had with the Exorcist, I realized something about myself. I attach a lot of my biggest memories to watching movies growing up. For example, my first or second blog post on Get Out was also associated with a memory I had with my cousins coincidentally.

The number one thing I learned in this class was how films play such an important role in people's lives. For example, Abby developed such a following for many reasons, one being its use and exploration of African American characters in a genre that was predominantly filled with white protagonists. Meaning this movie probably shifted the lives of many people in this industry, whether it be directly or indirectly.

For me, movies always played a big role in my life, because it was the main way my family was brought together. I know my ideas might seem like they are not corresponding with one another, but in my mind, they go hand in hand. In the same way I feel that films are attached to my memories and play such a big role, is the same way I feel that films like Abby play a big role in people's lives through changing the narrative. Taking this class, I really have such a different perspective on short films, short stories, etc. I am able to see how different films used different characters than what was well known, and changed the game.

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Blog Post #5

This week, the work that stood out to me most was Ganja and Hess. I feel like I could relate to some things about the movie in my personal life. Initially watching Ganja and Hess was very interesting, and seeing how the mix of horror and black cinema is used was really excellent. I would say this has been one of my favorite movies of the class thus far (maybe because I loved the vampire diaries..).

Although what stood out to me most was how Ganja could feel the way she did towards someone who hurt her really badly. It made me think about how it is so easy to love someone who has hurt you because, in a strange way, their actions can make you feel more attached to them. When someone hurts you it often creates an emotional bond that is  hard to break. As I dwell on why this happened, I feel like the pain can sometimes cause you to need them more, even if they’ve caused you pain. This sparked an interest in me and I actually researched why things like this happen  to us. What I gathered was that this happens because, as humans, we naturally tend to seek connection, and even negative experiences with someone can give us a sense of closeness. When someone hurts you, it can stir up strong feelings like anger, sadness, confusion, and those emotions can tie you to them. 

For me, watching Ganja and Hess reminds me of a situation in my life where I felt like I was Ganja. Obviously a very different situation, but the way I reacted to the situation, is what I related to Ganja with. I was so connected to someone, but in the way that I was connected through the pain that was caused to me. It almost felt like I could not let go, because that pain was a part of my life and experiences. In Ganja and Hess, I feel that she also felt that way towards the pain of losing her husband. I feel she felt like that pain was truly a part of her existence and letting go of Hess would in a way, allow her to let go of that pain. And I feel like the characters both being black also creates another sense of being tied together by different factors, such as trauma, pain, or other personal factors. This played a very important role in my understanding of the movie while I watched it as well.

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Blog Post #4: Unity

Something that stood out to me during this week's films was the sense of unity that is portrayed in many of black horror films. In both the “Night of the Living Dead” and “The Girl with All the Gifts", we see two different ways in which unity is shown. In the Night of the Living Dead, the personal conflicts from the beginning did not show a big sense of unity. But, as the film goes on and the people are in danger, the characters have to unite in order to survive. I feel like this really displays how extreme stress can bring people together in order to activate survival instincts. In “The Girl with All the Gifts”, the unity is different, in a way that it does not start off with personal conflicts, but instead a deeper connection between individuals in different situations. 

I found that a big part of the films and readings have been unity. In light of recent events on campus, I find a lot of comfort in seeing this unity between communities. I was able to witness the unity of students advocating and protesting for their beliefs, and their people not too long ago. I relate back to this because it shows how people come together, despite not knowing each other personally, or vice versa. Similarly to the “Night of the Living Dead”, these people all came together due to such highly stressful events, and were able to overcome it together. 

After these events, and personally being able to come together with people who had the same beliefs and went through the same things I did, I found a new appreciation for unity. Growing up, I was not always proud to be who I am or believe in the things I do. But being at UCLA and being around like minded people whilst being able to build a community has been the biggest gift. Which is why I believe I was able to send the kind of unity that is so heavily portrayed in the black horror films I have been watching and studying. Although I understand how the unity in “Night of the Living Dead” and “The Girl with All the Gifts" are not exactly the same as the unity I am describing, they still feel the same to me, in the sense of community coming together. It has been so comforting to be able to watch films or read short stories every week, and be able to relate them to real life experiences.

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Blog post #3

This week, the reading I enjoyed analyzing the most was “Wet Pain” by Terrence Taylor. 

This week of readings and films definitely felt like a whirlwind of different emotions. I pondered on the question “Have you had a personal event in your life that reminded you of any of these works? If so...how?”. I was brought back to a time in my life where the last thing I ever wanted to do was experience my best friend betraying me. Similar to Dean and Gregs relationship in “Wet Pain”, I had a best friend I was extremely close with in 3rd to 6th grade, who happened to be white. My entire elementary years were filled with racist jokes made towards me and being of middle eastern descent. I have heard it all, for example when I would get up for any sort of presentation, the kids would yell “careful she has a bomb”. If I ever was upset at someone, they would call me a terrorist for speaking loudly. When I brought ethnic food for lunch, I was laughed at for the whole lunch period. If I am being completely honest, I did not care one bit about any of these jokes. They were always made somewhat playfully, and I did not take it to heart. 

Until the end of 6th grade, when my best friend, Nicole,  told me her parents found out I was arab, and she could not be friends with me anymore. I was brought back to this moment when Dean goes through such a horrific transformation that happens because of the racial tension in societal culture. Although in the moment, Nicole telling me what her parents told her caused me much more pain than one would think. I think back to the moment with so much sadness. As I read this short story, I do feel anger towards Dean but I also feel sympathy. Having to confront your own racism that comes from a familial background and seeing so much racial tension within yourself is difficult. As for Greg, I read and relate to how going through the impact of systemic racism takes a huge toll on one's life. So as I read through this short story, not only did I relate by remembering my own feelings, I think of Nicoles. How hard it must have been for her to have been impacted by her parents own racial biases, and having to confront it on her own.

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Blog #2: Interracial love

Growing up in a middle eastern household, the idea of interracial love seems like the most terrifying thing to many of the elderly in my family. During this week's material, Ouanga/Love Wanga really stood out to me for this reason. It showed how truly difficult interracial love can be, and how different societal norms can play a factor into this difficulty. I remember growing up, when I would go back home to visit my family in the summertime, my cousins would always tell me about different boys they liked. They talked to me about how if they were to ever bring any of these boys home, their fathers would disown them, simply because of the racial differences. They were never allowed to branch out, talk to anyone besides their inner circle, and were confined to (mostly) arranged marriages. So to them, talking about the boys they liked, were just simply that, talk. Nothing was allowed further.

Every summer I would leave the middle east, come back home to America, and be so grateful my parents decided to raise my sisters and I here. I began to realize what a privilege it is to be protected from such a mindset that is extremely common in the middle east (and of course many other areas). So watching these films, specifically Ouanga/Love Wanga, and seeing how interracial love is shown as such a complex and rocky experience allows me to relate. It shows how the cultural tensions are so prevalent, especially as we are able to compare and contrast films like Ouanga/Love Wanga to films like Get Out, which are recently released, showing how times have not changed as much as we think.

This past month, my cousin who grew up in Jordan (my hometown in the middle east), but now lives in Los Angeles, was the first in her family to be engaged to someone outside of her culture. This was an extreme culture shock in the eyes of our family back home in Jordan. Because they are still living in this mindset that arabs are only supposed to marry arabs, they have tried to cause raucous amongst the family. So my family and I have been experiencing first hand the cultural tensions that quickly follow interracial love. So being able to watch and discuss this film during a time like this has been such an experience. It allowed me an outlet to understand and analyze the obstacles and disapproval that is so common in reality.

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Blog #1: Get Out

I remember the first time I watched “Get out”. My cousins were visiting Los Angeles  from Australia, and we were so excited to watch this new movie with them. While we watched this movie, my sisters and cousins (who grew up in Los Angeles) all loved the movie and thought it was such a great plot. My cousins from Australia were extremely weirded out by the movie and they kept asking us how we thought that movie could be appealing, in fact they thought it was a very disturbing movie to have watched. I didn't realize at the time, but the difference in reactions showed me how different cultures react to the black horror aesthetic that is so common in American culture.  As time went on, I continued to re-watch the movie because of how intriguing it was to me. I thought about how this movie depicts the reality for many black individuals. Going back to 2017, watching the movie for the first time, I remember thinking the sunken place might have even been a “relaxing” sensation of some sort? I know this sounds very odd, but I had not yet truly analyzed the movie, and it was the first thing that came to my mind. All of these feelings and different thoughts came back to mind when listening to Professor Due’s lecture. Specifically about the sunken place and what it depicts in the movie Get Out. So many black individuals lose so much of their life in the “sunken place”.  I am now able to fully put into words the feelings I felt about the sunken place, a place that depicts being stuck, whether that be incarceration, or even daily life. Many black individuals can be in the sunken place without even knowing it, because it is all they have known, being restricted or pulled into a certain place of living. Fast forward five or six months from the release of Get Out, I remember being terrified to re-watch this movie, it felt so heavy and real. I feel ashamed even saying that, because I felt like I could not handle the reality of the movie itself. And now, having re-visited this movie and different scenes from it, I felt differently towards the movie. It felt exciting to learn different things about Get Out and understand the background of it, instead of backing away from reality.