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[mybrokennesshisglory]

I’m not fatherless.

Growing up my dad would always sit on the living room floor and watch tv while he would iron his clothes for work. He had ironing down to a science! I remember I would always come and bother him and just hug him around the neck and kiss his cheek and say “You’re my favorite daddy!” And he would say “I’m your only daddy.” I use to just grin and think to myself I have the best daddy in the world. And he was. In the physical aspect of life he was the best dad. If you know me, you know how much I LOVED being with Greg V. Williams. Even when I was almost 30 years old I loved just going place with him. I called him for EVERYTHING. When he died, I honestly didn’t know how I would get through it. The one constant (besides my mom) was gone. I was never going to see him or hear is voice on the earth and that was just a hard pill to swallow. The next few months following his death I learned that I actually had two dads. I realized that I wasn’t fatherless. Yes I lost my earthly father but my Heavenly Father was just waiting for me to run into his arms for comfort. Yes I was saved and knew who God was but I never looked to him as a father. I thought since I had an amazing earthly dad I didn’t really need to think of God in that way.  But he’s my daddy. He has been my confidant. Even when I was angry at him for my dads death, he never left my side. When I started straying away from him he left the 99 to come and get me. He’s always been there. Even when my dad was still on the earth. He’s ALWAYS been there. God’s love is unfailing and unyielding.  I’m always so amazed at how he has loved me inspire of anything I’ve ever done and how he always extends his grace and mercy to me. Just like my earthly Dad did. I shared this because I want someone to know that even when you feel like you are so alone on this world, God is always there. He has never left your side. We stray away from his. He is always awaiting for our return with open arms and a heart that just over flows for us with his love. Just talk to him. Pour out your heart to him. Let him hold your hand as you walk through your pain, struggles, and brokenness. He loves you so much. He loves all of us so much. Even when we think we don’t deserve it. Remember he sent his only son to be nailed to a cross and die for us so that we can spend eternity with him on the earth and in heaven. That is LOVE y’all. Would you sacrifice someone you love to say billions of people? Oh what love that is! Remember that. When you feel like you are unworthy. Our dad loves us so much. <3

[mybrokennesshisglory]

Leave it all at his feet. 

[mybrokennesshisglory]

ANXIETY

I am a ball of nerves!!! I’ve registered for classes and the only thing that I’m waiting for is for my financial aid to come through. It feels like its taking FOREVER!!! Why is this part always the most nerve wrecking for me than starting class itself? Everyone keeps telling me that everything will be fine and deep down I know that it will. I mean, God wouldn’t have put me on this journey to not see me through right? It’s so easy to say “Trust God”  but the mind always gets in the way. I’m just anxious about it. But in all things I will continue to trust in him.

[mybrokennesshisglory]

Gods Plan

Wow. I haven’t been on tumblr in over 15 years. I guess that makes me old? I’m only 31 but I know that’s ancient to some. I’m starting seminary school in September and I decided that I want to start blogging. I’m really excited but also nervous. I mean I am 31 years old going back to school. The end goal is to get my masters. Yall I don’t even have my bachelor's yet! SMH Sometimes when its quite and I’m just left to my thoughts I wonder “Girl what were you thinking trying to do school at your age?!?!” I’m always reminded of what God told me. When that conversation plays in my head I just keep pushing forward. I’ll get through this with his grace and his mercy. Let this be a little nugget for some of you who may be struggling with starting something. Whatever it is that you’re thinking about doing. DO IT. Don’t worry about what other people have to say. Don’t even worry if you don’t have the money that’s needed to start. Get a plan going. That’s the first step. God will handle the rest. Believe it and receive it. <3