mydadschildhoodshenanigans-blog - Tumblr blog

[mydadschildhoodshenanigans-blog]

“Tell Luke you’ll rip his lips off if he doesn’t leave you alone.”

—My dad, yesterday evening.

[mydadschildhoodshenanigans-blog]

On Halloween my dad and his friends would go all out and do these crazy, crazy costumes as you might have figured out. One year in college he and three of his friends stole a shopping cart from kroger, made a red nose cone, and painted the cart red white and blue. He and the three other guys bought white and blue jumpsuits from Goodwill and helmets, while my dad wore his red long johns and they would run around campus as the American bobsledding team. While this was going on, there were parties everywhere and while they were running down the street shouting “USA” the college parties would notice and line the streets chanting, “USA. USA. USA.” while one guy was pushing and the other three dudes down the middle of the street in a shopping cart.

My dad claims that whenever they would go places kids would know them as the bobsled guys.

[mydadschildhoodshenanigans-blog]

In college my dad and a group of his friends would hang out in the entrance hall of their dorms at around two in the morning and wait for drunk kids who were out at parties to come back ready to crash. Before I get to the rest of the story I should probably tell you my dad had this huge, rubber toad painted a nasty yellow. Like ya know those African bullfrogs? One of those things. Now in the dorms there was this huge, nasty mat that everyone walked over so it was NASTY. My father, on many occasions would decide to crawl under this mat and wait for these wasted college kids to come stumbling back and when they saw the huge lump under the mat they were all like “Dude what the hell is under the rug” and so they would flip it back and boom. Smacked in the face with a giant yellow African bullfrog on a rope with my dad yelling “TOAD SMACK” and doing this horrible cackle while the drunk dudes practically shit themselves while my father beat them with a giant yellow toad