myintention-s

[myintention-s]

Hi, it’s been a long time. I downloaded tumblr, it looks different. But memories still came back. Different people I talked to through this app, there was a time it helped me a lot. It’s been a long time, since you reached out. When you said sorry. You’re probably wondering why I’m here saying this anonymously, or thinking, what is this person trying to say? I don’t know. But speaking to you this way feels the most comfortable. You popped up in my brain as soon as I saw a post that reminded me of you. Or I guess, reminded me of the situation we were in. I just thought, I wonder if I was important enough to remember, I wonder if you’re still sorry. I wonder what happened in your life, to bring what happened. I hope that you’re better, and that you’re figuring things out. And if you have a spark of curiosity, I am better. I did all the things I wanted to do, and then i created new things to want to do. No one has hurt me in a long time, I’m safe, things are good. I hope that for you too. It wasn’t until recently that I thought, this person must’ve had something awful happen to them. That doesn’t make anything feel better, it just makes me wonder. You don’t have to respond to this, if I remember correctly if you don’t, no one will see it. I just want you to know the thoughts that came to me.

I don’t know how old this message is - as I don’t really use this anymore. I just by chance happened to check it out and saw this and am happy I did. A lot of life has happened since we last really really spoke. It almost feels like a whole different life time since way back when. Like it doesn’t even match with the life I have now almost.

I look back at my life during those times often and only recently was I able to do so without hating myself. They say it gets worse before it truly gets better. I went through a lot of self discovery. As I think we all do when we reach our 30’s. Crazy to think we were kids during that time. I didn’t realize even then how much pain I was holding. That caused me to hurt many many people. I didn’t see it then. It’s ironic I’m even seeing this message now because I just wrote my first book on the topic, sorta. Like healing, and reparenting ourselves kinda thing. Literally this week I finished it. The timing and synchronicities are awesome. I forget exactly how far I’ve come sometimes and appreciate reminders like this. things weren’t so great yeah so I appreciate you looking at it from that kind of perspective. I know that can be tough too. Not that it was an excuse you’re right. but I lacked any awareness back then which really sucked. I messed up a lot of good relationships.

“I did all the things I wanted to do, and created new things to want to do” probably the most refreshing thing to hear out of anyone. I’m so glad. And i think it’s pretty cool too you set out to do that and know you want more. I love a good story if you ever want to share. But Yeah man this was awesome to come and read.

If I don’t hear from you again, keep taking care. You played important role in my growth and I can’t ever take that lightly. And I’ll always be sorry. that doesn’t change. It never did. I forgave myself of course I had to to get where I wanted to be healthily but yes, I hold a lot of empathy towards the whole thing and you and will always hold tenderness over it. ps tumblr is v different now huh? lol

[myintention-s]

https://www.etsy.com/shop/TwinkleHex

Luxury phone case - hand made design 😍

[myintention-s]

I have a difficult time spending energy on a lot of what’s going on in the world. I feel detached in the sense that I’m constantly seeing the bigger picture. That I know there’s much more than what meets the eye and I’m more so thinking of the realm of what we can’t see physically as I feel like that’s what really matters.

As much as I might’ve thought this was a perfect pinnacle to reach, i know much of it has its negatives. Such as sometimes it seeming like I’ve lost sympathy, and even my ability to empathize while reaching a state of enlightenment. Because I can “see through it” or just not take it for what it is. But I’m missing the whole point of being human. And living the human experience. While still trying to hold onto the knowledge and existence I know to also be true but doesn’t necessarily correlate perfectly with the physical realm we have known.

It’s an interesting experience and I don’t believe anyone who may be on the same path, has figured it all out. I can’t see how it’s possible. If you look at it as a place, some would say a higher vibration but something about that tells me that only describes putting us on a place where we are capable of looking down. At people or places. I think the most beautiful thing we’re given as humans is free will. So it’s not something we can force. People will stay exactly where they feel comfortable, if they choose to. But how do we still hang on to the human experience as living in love and connecting still, regardless of where one may be at in their journey?

So when I refuse to spend energy at worldly topics, as heartbreaking as they can be. Or how they may even be the same things that will help us advance as a society. I instead see how that can look on a spiritual realm.. what does it all equal out to mean there? Most of the time it doesn’t. And that’s what I’ve learned as well, they’ll keep throwing you these things in your face to keep you focused on the tiny things giving you zero time or energy to look and listen inward - without another human beings involvement.

But there will be times where I feel guilty. I remember I am still human… living this human experience. I cannot escape it. It will happen however it plays out. A perfect stage of being doesn’t exist. And you can read and listen to all the gurus you wish but that ultimate point of enlightenment cannot be reached as long as you’re here.. I think that’s what makes this all so interesting. Is how far do we want to go before we leave everyone behind? When everyone is us. And we’re them. Will we ultimately reach a point of humanism where feelings, unity, connectedness, emotions, etc just no longer exists? I’ve watched way too many sci-fi movies about trans humanism (between robot and human) so I can’t help but to wonder.

There was talk back in the 60’s on computer implants on humans to be able to feel constant Positive emotions. And as you’ve probably heard by now there’s already programs of nanotechnology being implanted into humans to help stop sickness and to pretty much serve to fix someone. So really those predictions weren’t so far off, if at all considering this advancement of technology has really only begun to roll out.

Are you able to correlate this all together? How far will we go to stop being human. How far will we go to reach perfection. Why are we escaping the very thing we came here to be? Is this really fixing anything or just covering up the problem with so many new ones?

I sometimes have to stop. stop everything I’m doing to spend time with myself and really ask myself, “what is it that makes me human?” Almost every answer has to do with mistakes and emotion.

[myintention-s]

by Dmitriev

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Reflection.

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a moment of pause

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Lower Thunder Mountain Lake.

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colours of my dreams

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Maple Pass Loop