mylordshound

[mylordshound]

Strong agree! I've got a whole-ass world built around the idea that the most common type of unicorns are terrifying, sapient carnivores built along the lines of Ardennais draft horses that gain sustenance from eating the hearts of magically powerful beings - usually fresh. They're organized into herds where the king stallion literally owns all the unicorns under him, runs an intense breeding program to create the strongest possible herd, and may trade herd members with another king stallion if they choose. Leads to some great roleplaying.

Anyway I love it when unicorns are badass.

i know unicorns are supposed to be, like, these frail sacred things, but i want more of like, massive stocky unicorns bigger and stronger than draft horses. show me unicorns that bite and kick their handlers constantly. unicorns with fatality counts who can’t be dealt with because they’re sacred and hurting one is a sin.

unicorns that don’t like virgins but they seek out unfaithful lovers and punish them for their infidelity (guess how)

unicorns with their horns filed down because they won’t stop stabbing people otherwise

[mylordshound]

stretches my legs out so far with all toes spread out wide

[mylordshound]

No one: Why would you use neopronouns for your cat? o.O

Me, to the tune of "Scotty Doesn't Know":

🎶🎵Charlie doesn't care

what pronouns we use,

'cause ze's a CAT and ze doesn't

understand English,

so we can practice

by calling zir "ze" and

CHARLIE DOESN'T CARE! 🎶🎵

[mylordshound]

How I look whenever someone calls me human:

I'm very confused, how can you not see that I'm a wolf

(GIF found on Pinterest)

[mylordshound]

You were given teeth. Use them now and use them wisely.

i liked this ask so much i made it into a sign

[mylordshound]

having a dogboyfriend is all fun and games until you have to hide his anti-depressants in a roll of cheese

[mylordshound]

shhhh... shhhhhhhhhh..... too loud ...... shhhhhg.....

[mylordshound]

''so you wish you were an animal?'' LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER I am an animal you dumbass boy

[mylordshound]

DOG MOSAICS (From Italy and Greece ××)

[mylordshound]

this is who youre asking to work 40hrs per week btw

[mylordshound]

[mylordshound]

The Orchard of Once and Onlies

Welcome to the Orchard. No, don't sit on that bench—she's not into that, and she bites. The gravity's lower beneath these trees, it should be easier on your back.

As you may have gathered, our family's role is to collect enchanted artifacts, retrieve supernatural citizens, and treat all sapient life, mundane and spective, with the universal rights and respects they are due. Be careful over your stay, for magic follows but one rule: it never does the same thing twice.

The Orchard of Once and Onlies is a webserial based off posts that I think would make a good fictional story. A new chapter comes out each Sunday. You can read one chapter ahead or send me a prompt at my Patreon, or discuss the story and chat with me in my Discord.

Chapter 1.

Chapter 2.

Chapter 3.

Chapter 4.

[mylordshound]

Interspecies lesbianism

[mylordshound]

Two playing Coastal wolves in British Columbia by Lyman Creek Photography

[mylordshound]

church grim whose church gets demolished and she needs something to do so she picks a random human and starts guarding them instead

your luck turns around. that guy who stole your bag tripped over nothing as he was running away from you. things you lost start showing up sitting (slightly damp) in the middle of the floor in the family room, and when you walked in front of a car, someone grabbed your shirt collar and pulled you back as the car sped by at a speed that probably would have killed you. you don’t even notice the weird puncture marks in your shirt until that night

a week later, you’re having a terrible time sleeping, tossing and turning, half-awake the entire night, until you wake up again and the biggest dog you have ever seen is standing at the foot of your bed. she walks up and lays down next to you, and you reach out in your delirium and gently play with her ears. she licks your hand once and puts a jet-black paw on your chest, and your eyes flutter closed…

when you wake up, you assume it’s a dream. at least, until you find the little piece of black fluff stuck to your blanket

[mylordshound]

werewolf carolers who come to your house to sing christmas songs!

it’s just howling though. you can’t tell the words, it all just sounds like “woo oo oo oo awoo oo oo oo” but their harmonies are very pretty

[mylordshound]

feral wild werewolf x very domestic werewolf