mynameis504-blog - Tumblr blog

[mynameis504-blog]

Paper house

I just wanna lay here Where I'm fine No booze No drugs Just me myself and I. Trying to figure out My life Like it is possible In one night. Laying in my bed With this lines Being unsure Of my time. Am I even here? Where am I? Who am I? Thats the one. Who am I? What good have I done in my life? What is this house that I call home?, Where they don't even know when I cry. It's not their fault How could it be? I push people away All the time. It is kind of sad I don't let anyone love me Because I know I will love them more. Getting hurt Thats my fear Don't know why I never have.

[mynameis504-blog]

Empty

I fill so empty, I try, I really do, I try to fill. I don't hate myself, Like I used to do, I don't feel anything, I don't feel the love, I don't want to love, I don't want to care, I truly don't care. I wasn't like this before, I cared about people, I didn't care about me, But now, Things changed, I am waiting for death to call my way, Or my family, Or my friends, I am just waiting for something bad, Something bad to happen, I needed to be able to fill again. Even grief, Will be better, Than not being able to fill anymore, I just don't care, I don't even want to die anymore . The people i care about, Or the people I think I care about, They don't make me feel anymore, I don't feel anything, I want to fill, I want to know I love them, And that, They love me, I need something bad to happen, I really do. Do I want to cry, About how empty I fill inside, I just can't, My tears were taken for granted, I just can't cry anymore, I want to explode, But I don't have dinamite inside, I feel so empty, I am so empty, I just can try anymore. Its not that nobody cares, Its just that I don't even try, I always fail, I always fuck up, I never fix it, People get tired, I take it for granted, I shouldn't, But I always do. I can't blame them though, I wouldn't stand me, I don't know how they do it, I truly admire them. With this emptiness inside, I am just a body that thinks sometimes, I can't stop, I won't stop, Till I find something, To fill me up again.