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Call Me Chihiro

...or my name.

I came across the Japanese movie in Netflix and the article about it by Alokananda Sen in DMT that made me see myself in the last 15 years.

I quote:

"

humans are aliens from different planets and can only connect with those from their own planet, which is why they cannot understand others

In the last few minutes of the film, this phrase becomes extremely relevant because Chihiro could feel herself disconnecting and rather observing the happiness that others felt with the ones they found and could click with while she wondered what true happiness felt like. She could feel herself pondering about how that would feel, which affected her loneliness and made her leave because she did not want to take away the happiness others felt. It also meant that the time she shared with the people around her had come to an end, as she found herself a bystander and not an active participant in their lives anymore

"

Wow. I mean my limit is 5 years. Like 4 in high school, 4 in college, 5 in my first job, 5 in my second job, now going 2 in my 3rd.

Not to mention the organizations I affiliated with during these times... Hobby group, religious, political, volunteering, company ad hoc committees.

And the people whose lives I know I've touched and those whose loves touched me.

They seem so far and out of reach even in Facebook.

Now probably that is loneliness right there.

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And that's how it was. I am paying Webnovel and it ended just like that. >_<

Do you know any fanfictions that came close?

Under the Oak Tree is being DISCONTINUED

I'm so sad. Apparently the author is sick of all the illegal translations of her story, so she's decided to end the story at book 2 and...

She's dropping all her side stories!! 😭😭

She had side stories for other characters and another Riftans POV! But that's all gone now and I'm so upset.

I'm gonna be honest though I thought her tone was a little condescending and her actions are not fair to the fans who truly supported her all the way. Once I figured out how to get to Ridibooks, I started paying for it. HOWEVER, do you know how hard it is to read a poorly translated Korean to English story?! It's so confusing sometimes. DON'T even get me started on WebNovel shit is expensive. It's not even close to where Ridi is.

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Yes.

pete wentz x secrets

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DELETED.

No need for anyone else to know.

"To each his own."

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Page 4+Cover

I made a cover, yay! The next page is gonna be a little bit. Underwater scenes are not easy...

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So I messed up. I'm sorry.

For deleting. For lying. For making you feel that way.

No, I was aware and I let it that way. Now, we both feel miserable but I have to accept it.

Life.

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Oh here comes another person I'd do anything for... again.

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My Official Receipts turned 11 today!

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New Crush

So I met him during the badminton tournament and my he looked just like a kid brother LOL. But I must admit later on, I am crushing on him.

Don’t get me wrong, I am committed and loyal.

It’s a happy crush at the workplace. He is younger and recently heartbroken. Let’s use some magic spells HAHA. I meant, some “ate” thing.

Great!

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Aww

Art by Apofiss

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<keep me sane>

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Then I see them getting together. Ugh.

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So I had been AVOIDING work from Tuesday and probably until Saturday. I don't know what came over me but maybe it is during the weekend. Hexk, it was supposed to be thanksgiving week! Hmm... Maybe that's why. The emphasis on family made me do this. I don't know.

Guess, it's too late to be sorry. Working from home isn't that bad. I hope.

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Glowing rocks. Think of #jenniferniven . Sigh.

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Watching Manifest made me also feel like I have to make peace with every loose end in my life before... you know.

Well, that would be just the biggest things that society and my social life, namely, my religion, my masters degree, and some friends. Phssaw.. The friends can live their own lives without me getting back in but I feel like it was a mess.

The LKB? They can get over it. Aly and Jean, well, I still love them and God knows if we can reconnect somehow, I'd grab it. HS peeps? Do I even have to? Then, there is M' Kathy, somehow makes me feel sad.

Oh wow, that is many. How what what kind of decisions have I been making in my life!?! Hope I can be a better version of myself and set an example for my kid. I remember how mommy has no friends from her past. Sigh.

What goes around comes back around huh. Thankful that I did not have to squeeze in family there. We are solid.

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Stalker Dream

Okay, so I still cannot shake that dream about a stalker.

So in the dream, I met a girl and we were instantly friends. I accompanied her to a public library and I noticed a guy (biker outfit, long hair, with bandana scarf and tattoos) following us.

I went in the library and the guy went too. Now, he had a girl friend with him. I told my new friend about the stalker so she said “let’s get out.” We did and the guy went out too. I started to panic and hailed a van. We were scrambling to get in and my friend got stuck with the door and the “stalker” closed the door for her.

Just imagine my panic.

We tried to lose him after that but he was on his bike. He went to other lane, only to get around and tail our van.

Well, I knew I was a dream so all I had to do was wake up. I did, because my heart was already pounding. HAHA

Googling it, I found something in the lines of my subconscious telling me to get a new career or add someting new in my life. So uhmm... hmmm...

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oh

It is December so lets get festive