mypetitediary

[mypetitediary]

irreplaceable is just a season.

Once, i thought my world would stop spinning without us, walking along towards our dream about love. I had spent days, and years, thinking about ‘what if?’

What if I didn’t end this? What if I put more effort to keep you mine? Would there be still ‘us’ with a better version, or would our journey be destroyed anyway.

Everyday during the phase, I felt like I was alone in a snow storm: cold, lonely, and full of hopelessness. Thank Lord, it’s just a phase :)

Since i-don’t-know-when, everything’s changed. I didn’t feel the same negative energy as much as I do previously (yes, sometimes the feelings come back but I think it’s normal since it’s part of my life journey. I can’t just forget it totally unless something happened to me -which i hope not ‘cos this experience has shaped me the way i am right now).

I wouldn’t say life has been 360° better than before, but it’s totally on its way haha - gotta be confident. There are much more happiness after we came to an end. He was just a lesson. I’ve had enough journey with him, and gotta learn more about me from this journey.

I don’t wanna regret the time I spent with him, bcs it was actually a ‘good’ one. I’ll just let all the past be floating in my hippocampus. This is a tribute of ‘me’ being brave to let go someone i once truly in love with, and also tribute to the song that somehow also encourage me indirectly.

[mypetitediary]

the new journey #ctory

Hej!

I believe that people change as quick as lightning. This is what just happened to me. Hours before I was still struggling with my feelings, and at one time he came and made me happy (again).

I’m grateful to meet such a sweet guy, even though I’m quite scared that this will ends just like before. But, I don’t know, I feel like I have faith.

Thank you, it’s been a while since I’ve ever felt this way

I didn’t think I would feel this kind of happiness anymore, but you came up.

It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard from somebody special for the past 2 years, and you know what? Hey, I feel the same :)

Regardless of how our story will end, I hope this will be a good story. I hope we both can bring out the best of us, be the best version of ourselves.

I love you, thanks for coming up into my life and show me that “good guy” does exist - at least that’s how I feel now. 

Am I drowning in the high levels of dopamine because of you? I don’t know, all I know is to enjoy every single moment with you. 

And as usual, here is the song that represents the beginning of our story. Hope you enjoy! x

Hej då!

[mypetitediary]

1 AM thoughts

Hej,

how’s your day? are you happy?

Those are only two of many questions that I wanted to ask you so badly, but I can’t.

I know I supposed to walk away without any regrets since I was the one who ended our sad beautiful tragic story. I was pretty sure I've made such a wise choice for the sake of our happiness. Still, why did I not feel happy ever since that day?

I want you to know that it was hard to let you go since you were my world plus my source of happiness. I wonder if you’d ever feel the same. Why can't I just remember how cruel you were to me and forget all of the good things so I could simply get you out of my mind?

Well, thankfully time flies. I'm finally accepting the reality that we're nothing more than two strangers with memories.

And as the closure of this post, scan the Spotify code below to enjoy a sweet song which I think is relatable to my story today. Hope you like it♡

Hej då!