myratbrainmusings - Tumblr blog

[myratbrainmusings]

I feel freaky

9 jun 2024

Recently I’ve had the strange sensation of being a bug trapped in a jar. Like I’m a little cricket that a kid caught and is keeping in an old jar with holes poked in tinfoil covering the top. Strange sensation indeed…

Anyways,

[myratbrainmusings]

hey i know i asked for constructive criticism but what i actually wanted was for you to tell me i'm extremely talented. and also pretty. sorry if that was unclear

[myratbrainmusings]

This is what I get for dropping my phone

7 may 2024

There’s a green line down the left hand side of my phone. Annoying but it’s the price I pay for YouTube showers. This is girlhood

Anyways,

[myratbrainmusings]

am i the coolest loser you know

[myratbrainmusings]

"This is a Joe Alwyn album" "This is a Matty Healy album" shut up shut up SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!! Swifties are so annoying, this is a TAYLOR SWIFT ALBUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY IS YOUR FIRST REACTION TO ASSIGN THINGS TO A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!!!

[myratbrainmusings]

I forget how much I love performing

16 apr 2024

Jamie opened tonight!! it was insane, that buzz that feeling you get inside I forget how real it is, like electricity is in the air and everyone’s joy is palpable. I’ll really miss this. This community, everyone is friends, I’ll talk to the people I wouldn’t normally talk to and you stay on stage left cramped in with everyone and it feels so real.

Anyways,

[myratbrainmusings]

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

[myratbrainmusings]

warm bread with butter. reblog if you Agree

[myratbrainmusings]

Intimacy is not just about sex. It's having heart-to-hearts, staying up all night talking, sharing childhood memories, thoughts, fears, dreams & hopes for the future. It's uncontrollable laughter, direct eye contact and feeling each other without touching - it's exchanging energy

[myratbrainmusings]

Thinking about girls in vaguely homosexual friendships

31 mar 2024

Thinking about how I used to call my best friend maiden as a pet name and I can’t actually remember what she used to call me but I assume it was some pet name, and how I used to call another one of my friends some variation on honey as a pet name

Anyways,

[myratbrainmusings]

Ugh I hate thinking this way

21 mar 2024

I refuse to say it out loud and put it into the world but I know what I’m talking about.

WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IM GAY? REALLY WHAT ABOUT ME RADIATES RAINBOWS? Nothing against gay people just I’m not and it means the boys I like will never see me the way they see my friends because maybe I’ll be affectionate with my friends and maybe I don’t dress like the walking talking stereotype of a teenage girl but god is it so hard to get a boy to even see me? To look at me like I’m not empty space?

Anyways,

[myratbrainmusings]

Bathroom morning hope

21 mar 2024

Ive coined a new term,

Bathroom morning hope, when I walk into the bathroom in the morning and the sun always shines brighter in there and it’s bright and big and beautiful and I have a small seed of hope that today won’t be like all of those other days and we’ll be happy and calm and I think I’ll be ok for those few minutes in bathroom morning hope.

anyways,

[myratbrainmusings]

LOVE ME PLEASE

10 mar 2024

WILL SOMEONE TRACE ALONG MY JAW ACROSS MY LIPS UP MY NOSE AND AROUND MY EYE WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TRACE FROM MY EAR ALONG MY COLLARBONE TO THE DIP BETWEEN THEM AND FEEL MY HEART BEAT LIKE THEY NEED TO COMMIT IT TO MEMORY LIKE THEYRE BEING TESTED ON THE BPM OF MY HEART AND THE TEXTURE OF MY SKIN LIKE THEY NEED TO SCULPT ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT AND OUTSIDE IN AGAIN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Anyways,

[myratbrainmusings]

I refuse to let them think I’m stupid

8 mar 2024

Alex and Adam aren’t allowed to see me failing at chemistry. They can’t see me fail and mess up. I won’t let them think I’m dumb.

Also Adam has started only asking Alex about his answers to see if he’s right so I hate myself even more and really just crave the warm embrace of a grade 9

Anyways,

[myratbrainmusings]

Wish I wasn’t so weird and embarrassing

[myratbrainmusings]

any wildest fantasies?

being loved or something

[myratbrainmusings]

art by @BottlngSunshine