myriddles3

[myriddles3]

[myriddles3]

LMAO THE OTHER PERSPECTIVE

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What is the funniest pokemon move

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sorry i can't hang later i have to swallow my own spit wrongly on accident and choke for a while

[myriddles3]

baseball in essence is a game about you trying to throw your friend a ball but some asshole wont stop trying to knock your ball as far as fuck away as possible because he's a bad person

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BRUH a dude I know from work came in for the first time in months and I thought he looked different but couldn't figure out why?? So I asked if he'd changed his hair and he was like "BITCH I GOT TOP SURGERY"

[myriddles3]

what’s it called when you’re so disconnected from reality that cold water doesn’t feel like anything and you can barely taste food anymore

[myriddles3]

Doctor said I need 100ccs dryhumping or I'll die if you even Care

[myriddles3]

YES 🙌

[myriddles3]

To be a fly on the wall during the Vatican Conclave Watchparty

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GUESS WHO JUST FINISHED #JERKING MY #COCK

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Hearing other peoples' stories about when they were in school confirms my suspicions that some people only become teachers because there's a limited line of careers where it's socially acceptable for a whole grownup to be personal enemies with a 12-year-old, and they lack the creativity it would take to become a saturday morning cartoon villain.

[myriddles3]

Apex predators share their freshly hunted prey

[myriddles3]

The YouTube channel anti-chef always adds an extra bay leaf to recipes that call for it and he says “and add another one. I’m not driving” and this has permanently altered my vocabulary.

Every time I add something extra to a recipe I say that now. Add another clove of garlic, I’m not driving. Let’s have two eggs, I’m not driving. Let’s double the chili flakes, I’m not driving.

[myriddles3]

i have finally perfected my twitter feed