myruinssheep-blog1

[myruinssheep-blog1]

an ex that keeps coming back

do you have ex that keeps coming back no matter what he does? i’ve been fucking with this guy for like 4 years on and off. im not sure why he keeps coming back to me.. he left me once for another girl... and always said he missed me and all that. this time last year i left him to move to the city. he ended up finding a different girlfriend from the town over.. and they had a baby. the whole time he was with her he told me he missed me. they had their son this year.. and their relationship has been rocky since the start. he recently moved back to this town and now hes been hitting me up wanting to hook up. im not sure im ready for that type of shit. i was head over heels in love with him but i couldnt stand my toxic mom so i moved away, and i feel like thats gonna happen again cause i just cant live with her anymore. i still have feelings for this dude but its so unpredictable on what he wants.. or should i say who he wants haha. we have deep history from the past 4 years... like we can’t forget about each other or something. i think its kinda weird but i still love him after all this time. im not sure what to do. 

[myruinssheep-blog1]

growing up with a toxic mom

All my life ive grown up with a toxic mother. we just had a fight... she makes it seem like EVERYTHING is my fault. i got abused as a kid and i told my school counselor.. the cops and ocs got involved and my mom made me change my story. when we start arguing she says i owe her money FOR ADOPTING ME. what the actual heck.. all i can do is hide behind a screen name to vent all this bs out. we lost my dad this year.. he was the only one that protected me from my mom. im kinda glad he isnt here to get abused also. i really wish i didnt have to deal with her really. shes disabled now and takes advantage of it for attention. she just made my daughter cry and i can;t really do anything about it cause shes an elder and the police would believe her over me.. yeah its like that where i live. i got my hair pulled and beat up all the time for the dumbest things and she called it discipline. i used to question my birth mother about why she adopted me to this evil woman. she never knew this Beezy was like that. my dad had parkinsons before his demise... he always called her that and i secretly agreed. all this lady is, is an abuser. we moved back here so i can help out with my dad and didn’t have tickets back after his funeral. so we’ve been stuck here like all year. as i said earlier we argued... and she said that im lazy and i dont do anything. i cook, i clean, i do everything around here. she’s always on her high horse when it comes to me. i really dont know why she hates me. its always been this way since i can remember. she has a son which im supposed to call my brother but hes just like this dude i live with. theyre both so unsanitary. they dont shower or anything,... its really weird cause me and my dad were the cleanest people... idk i feel like im just rambling about my mom but she is very toxic and people dont see it like i do. everyone thinks im crazy but my mom is whaaaack as hell. in an hour or so she will say sorry and whatever but i stopped believing that in middle school.