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[myso-calledlibraryy]

The Long Way Down

This week I read the novel The Long Way Down, by Jason Reynolds. This book was different from the others as it is written in the form of small poem like passages. This makes the book very easy to read and simple, while also hitting home a larger, very important, message. 

The author, Jason Reynolds, is an American writer who was born in Washington DC. After growing up in a nearby Maryland town, Reynolds went on to attend UMD where he studied english. Reynolds first grew to love poetry and writing from listening to rap music as a child. He was inspired by the words he would hear and knew he wanted to write something of his own. Reynolds is now a New York Times best-selling author of multiple YA and adult novels. All of his novels have a similar theme which highlight the lives of Black Americans growing up in this country. 

The story is told by William Holloman, or as everyone calls him Will. Instantly, Will tells us the story of how his brother Shawn was shot and killed. This was something I had figured would be the plot of the whole novel, but it proved to be a much smaller piece in the big picture. 

Violence like a shooting is commonplace in Will’s neighborhood so he describes the shooting as something they’re trained to do. After the gun shots had settled and Will saw it was his brother who had been the target, his whole world changed. 

“Beef get’s passed around like name-brand T-shirts around here. Always too big. Never ironed out.”

In communities where gangs are prevalent, the fighting never stops. Someone always has beef with someone and their beef is your beef. Simply put, if your brother has a problem with someone you have a problem with someone and your friends have a problem with someone and this someone is all the same person all for the same reason and the cycle never ends. 

Will describes to us that there are rules in the neighborhood. Never cry, get revenge, just to name a few. And as you can see from just these two Will was going to react to his brother being shot in the same way everyone else would, get revenge on the guy who did it. 

Immediately following the death of his brother, Will isn’t reacting the way you would assume. He is just sitting in his room thinking about revenge. Will has made up his mind that Riggs, an old friend of Shawn’s, was the one who had shot him because of gang involvement. Riggs had been childhood companions, but when Riggs moved and became a member of the Dark Suns gang a lot of things changed for him. 

After attempting to get some sleep, Will picks up his brother’s gun, the first time he has ever held one. And he heads for the elevator. The elevator is where the rest of the book takes place and everything happens in under five minutes. Funny because the book is called The Long Way Down, but I think we can all understand the meaning of that. 

Will has every intention of taking the elevator down to the lobby, walking to Riggs’ house, and shooting him. Taking care of one of the first lessons he was taught which is revenge. 

A man steps onto the elevator with Will and just stares at him. Will is really annoyed by this and wonders if he knows this man. 

Buck was like a big brother to Shawn and taught him a lot and had even given him the gun in Will’s waistband. But Buck had been shot and was most definitely dead.

Now he was standing in an elevator with Will.

At this point in my reading I noticed I was inching closer to the halfway point and was asking myself what the hell this book was about. I was so lost but I had a lot of guesses so I needed to continue. I was fully convinced Will was actually dead and needed to see where this elevator was going to take him. 

Will is OBVIOUSLY very confused that a dead man is talking to him but rather than question it, he stays fearful but continues to talk to Buck. Buck is kind of making fun of Will for even having a gun on him and asks if the thing is even loaded. Will opens it up and counts and the bullets. 

fifteen bullets in a chamber that holds sixteen. No big deal to Will and Buck brushes it off with a whatever. 

Buck lights a cigarette and fills the elevator with smoke, but Will knows not to worry because Buck is a ghost. 

At the next floor, a girl steps on. Instantly she notices the smoke and comments on the gun. Will wonders how she can see the smoke if Buck is ghost and how she knows that he has a gun. He plays it off and tries to flirt with her.

“It’s hard thinking about kissing and killing at the same time”. 

This line stuck me as no young person like Will should ever have to worry about killing anyone, let alone when he’s at a stage where all he wants to think about girls. This to me says a lot about how we treat black youth in cities. In the current political climate we are all engaging ourselves in these kinds of conversations hopefully. This is something that I think deserves a LOT of attention. Young black men in gang filled neighborhoods are made to grow up so quickly because of an environment our legislation has forced them in and that is not only disgusting and immoral but it is just down right sad. 

Dani. 

Dani was Will’s childhood friend who got shot right in front of them when they were playing on a playground when they were eight. Dani had kissed Will that day. She was the first girl he had really liked and he probably had some kind of future planned for them even though they were only eight. 

Dani was dead, but now she was in the elevator with Will. 

Are we starting to see a pattern here? People in Will’s life who had been shot were all getting onto this elevator with him.

But let it sink in that Will knows not only one person, but now at least three who had been killed because of street violence. How do we allow for children to live in these communities? How have we grown as a society to purely demonize black people, when we are the ones who watch their lives crumble and do nothing? This shit is not right. I know this is a book, but this is so very real. Reynolds isn’t writing this to tell a fun little story, he is writing it to express a pain he has felt as a black man in American and to bring light to realllllly real issue we want to pretend doesn’t exist. 

it is sad for Will that anyone he knows has to die, but something about Dani really hurt me. They were so young and innocent and just enjoying their lives together and someone senselessly took that away from them. Will says that after losing Dani was when Shawn taught him the rules, and for me this is where Will has fully grown up. At eight years old, he knows the rules of the street and he will follow them until he dies. His innocence just flies out the window. So yet again, here I am reading and crying my freaking eyes out. 

Next floor.

This time the cloud of smoke from Buck and Dani blocks the door so all that Will see’s is two hands coming for his neck. After being placed in a choke hold, Will is shook up and turns to find his Uncle Mark. Uncle Mark had died before Will was born but Will had heard a lot of stories about him. Mark had gotten involved in the wrong crowd selling drugs. The way he got involved made me cry for I kid you not thirty minutes. 

Mark had been given a camera as a present because he loved to make movies. After losing the camera, Mark knew he had to get a new one and he did what everyone else in their neighborhood would’ve done....sells drugs.

Will says Mark was able to make the money for the camera in an hour and this rush of making so much money so quick had him hooked because it was just that easy. Until he was caught on the wrong corner and got himself shot. 

All Mark wanted was a new camera, all he needed was some money, and all he could do was sell drugs. Man do I hate it here. 

Mark asks Will to tell him what he is gonna do when he gets to Riggs house and Will can’t even say it. After Buck interrupts and says “and shoot”, Will has a little courage to say it himself. 

shoot and the end. 

Mark and Buck catch him by saying no, it is never the end and now I finally see the pattern. This cycle of shooting for revenge will never end. Someone is always going to be seeking revenge for something and this revenge will always end in death. 

This book is powerful wow. 

The next floor the smoke clears and in walks Will’s dad. Will doesn’t really remember his dad because he had been killed when Will was so young. This fills Will with emotion and he just wants to collapse in his father’s arms but he has to follow the rules and not cry. 

I HATE THIS RULE. Boys need to grow up knowing that is okay to show emotion. I just wanted Will to be held by his father while he cried, even if it was all a dream. The rules as a whole are a detriment to these boys lives, but it is the only way they are taught to survive. We have to do better for this kids. 

Will’s dad had been killed for killing the man who killed his brother Mark. See the cycle here? Just like Buck and Mark said, it is never going to end. And yes I am most definitely crying again. 

Will’s dad asks him what he plans to do now, and Will tells him he is going to follow the rules just like his dad had. I hate the rules. 

Will’s dad is doing a lot to try to convince Will not to follow the rules and Will is confused because he is just following in his father’s foot steps. But then he tells him. 

Will’s dad had got the wrong guy. He just thought it had to be Gee who killed Mark. Just had to be, the same thing Will kept saying about Riggs. 

Killing Gee was what had got Will’s dad killed, and he wasn’t even the right guy. Screw these rules.

Will’s dad finally hugs him in this moment, but in the hug he takes the gun from Will and holds it to his head. Holds it to his head until they hear the ding of the next floor. Will is pissed, and rightfully so, but his dad is trying to scare him because if Will does this, he is going to be next. 

At the next floor Frick steps on. Will doesn’t understand why Frick is there until he begins to talk with Buck. The two are acting as if they old friends, until they tell Will how they know each other. Frick killed Buck. What was he doing here? What does this have to do with Will’s journey?

Oh.

The Rules. 

Frick killed Buck, so Shawn killed Frick.

fifteen bullets when there should be sixteen. 

Shawn had used that gun to shoot that bullet into Frick because he was following the rules. Shawn got killed because he had killed and now Will was going to do more killing. 

When they get to floor 2 it appears that no one is there, until hands fly in to catch the closing down. 

In walks Shawn. 

All the people are having a little reunion while Will just stares. Boy does he miss his brother.

This was VERY close to the end so I had been reading like a mad woman trying to get to part where Shawn would come. Will looked up to his brother in a way that I knew could stop Will from doing something to ruin his life. 

Will goes to hug Shawn but Shawn doesn’t hug back. Will begins to just let out all his emotions to Shawn, throwing a full tantrum about the rules and how he knows he has to follow them just like Shawn. 

But Shawn is crying. He is breaking the rules. While he doesn’t say it, this is Shawn telling Will that sometimes it is okay to break the rules. 

L. The Lobby. The End. 

The elevator comes to a stop and they have reached the bottom. As the doors open, all the dead file out leaving Will in the elevator car. Shawn turns to him and says two words.

You coming?

And that is the end. Two simple words to make you understand the purpose of all of this. Will is either going to get off that elevator and kill Riggs which will put him right up there with Shawn, or he is going to turn around and go home and live. 

When you follow the rules you end up in a cycle of murder that will never ever ever end. Someone is always going to be looking for revenge and this will always end in people dying.

Will has to be the change. He has to be the one to finally break the rules and break the cycle. If he doesn’t kill RIggs, no one will have to kill him and then no one will have to get revenge for that. 

The rules make life like a game and those who are dead realize how they made that mistake. Seeing all those who have died in front of him to tell him this is what is going to change Will’s life and this will change the whole neighborhood. 

Reynolds does an exceptional job of hitting the nail on the head of a very important issue. With this novel also being YA I think it is really even more important. 

In his bio on his website, Reynolds says that he knows so many young people hate to read and that many of these young people are boys. He says he hates to read about boring things too, and this is why he writes these books. Having your story be told makes you view yourself as valuable and this is something lacking for the young black community. We so often try to ignore issues that have been caused by centuries of systemic racism, but Reynolds seeks to end this. By telling the very real story of gang violence and the impact it has on the youngest of children, we can hope to educate others on what is going on around us. In order to make a difference we have to be educated. Going forward I cannot wait to read more of Reynolds works and continue my own education of racial issues. By doing this education we can commit ourselves to be actively anti-racist and use privilege of being educated on racial issues rather than experiencing them to make a change for the good. 

All in all 10000000/10. Reynolds struck a cord in me. Made me cry, feel angry, and really invoke a sense of urgency to make a difference. 

[myso-calledlibraryy]

Eleanor and Park

And here we have again a novel that perfectly depicts all the emotions of high school. I can’t tell if this is a real thing or if I was just constantly overly emotional and stereotypical. Genuinely leaning towards the stereotype because I can't remember the last time I saw a coming of age film that did not prompt “omg that is Maura” from all of my friends. 

Anywhoooo, this week I read the novel Eleanor and Park again for the first time since I was a junior in high school (ew). I seemed to have not changed a bit as all of my emotions were just as I remembered.

Eleanor and Park is written by Rainbow Rowell. Rowell has several other books all which I loved and had a similar coming of age theme. Rowell is from Omaha, where Eleanor and Park takes place. While living in Omaha she worked for a local newspaper as a columnist for many years. In 2011, she released her first novel, which was not YA, and the following year released Eleanor and Park. This novel, along with Fangirl, were critically acclaimed and among many top ten lists. In 2013, Eleanor and Park received scrutiny from parents due to its sensitive content(which we will get to soon) but Rowell replied with the fact that this stuff really happens. I commend Rowell for writing about such hefty topics, we cannot shelter children from the real world. Rowell currently resides in Nebraska with her husband and children and is currently working on writing some comic books. 

So let me begin by again saying that I love this book and I love books about love. I am so grossed out that I just said that. 

Eleanor and Park follows, well, Eleanor and Park on an epic little love story filled with chaos. Both kids struggle with their home life, bullies, and some gender expression, but in different ways that fit together perfectly. The novel is written in third person with different chapters focusing on either one. This makes it very easy to follow along even though you are taken on a bit of a crazy journey.

We start with Eleanor getting on the bus on the first day at her new school. She is at this new school because she is finally back living with her mom, siblings, and her mom’s AWFUL boyfriend Richie. Richie is incredibly abusive and had kicked Eleanor out of the house the year prior. Her mom is so sweet, but acts blind to the violence of Richie. The house they live in is only five rooms, with one of them being the fake room which is the bathroom in the kitchen separated by a sheet. Obviously the family is very poor and this is a struggle for Eleanor because all of the kids make fun of her. 

On top of having an awful home life, Eleanor is just so incredibly awkward. She is very tall and overall just kind of big, her bright red curly hair doesn’t help either. Eleanor also wears a lot of masculine clothes, which is how she chooses to express herself and the source of a lot of bullying. She wants to just blend in at her new school but the second she steps on that bus she becomes the target of bullying. 

When Eleanor is URGENTLY searching for a seat on the bus, the only available spot is next to Park. 

Park is half Korean, quite the rarity in Omaha, and this makes him the subject of a lot of racism and microaggressions. The opening scenes depict him sitting on the bus while Tina and Steve (gross nasty bullies I don’t care what nice things they do, they are gross and nasty) are questioning him about kung fu. Park has a much better home life than Eleanor with two very loving parents, but him and his father don’t always see eye to eye. Park puts a lot of pressure on himself to be the perfect man for his dad, but Park just always feels inadequate in this. This turns out to be something Eleanor really helps with and brings them closer together. 

How freaking perfect for a love story to start with two misfits finding each other on the bus. 

The two sit next to each other for quite some time and no one says ~anything~. These two little dorks just sit there in silence, but both are very happy to be sitting next to someone without admitting it. Park is happy to have a reason not to talk to the bullies and Eleanor is just happy not to be alone. 

Eleanor and Park begin to grow a silent bond. Eleanor reads Parks comic books over his shoulder and he begins to notice. She notices he notices when he waits to start his new comic book Watchmen (watch this show on HBO right now). When they get to her house, Park gives Eleanor the comic book to take with her and she reads it again and again that night. 

This where you really start to push for the couple. I was literally SHOUTING at the pages. I wanted Park to just like run up and kiss her. And then I would be like NO Eleanor be the strong woman we all know you are and make that move. But we have all been in high school and know it is most definitely not that easy. 

After exchanging comic books, Park finally has to talk to Eleanor. He notices the title of a Smiths song on her textbook and asks if she likes the Smiths. AND SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY NO AND THEN NOT SAY ANYTHING ELSE. If she was my friend I would’ve smacked her 100%. Eleanor stop being so freaking awkward and talk to the boy!!!! But yes of course I found it incredibly sweet how nervous he made her, I hate myself ugh. 

Then comes one of the best parts. Park makes the move of all moves. The mac daddy of all gestures. This boy goes on home and makes Eleanor a mix tape. So corny like gag, but literally this is what we want. If a boy makes you a mix you marry him. End of discussion. 

“Then he slid the silk and his fingers into her open palm. And Eleanor disintegrated.”

“Holding Eleanor’s hand was like holding a butterfly. Or a heartbeat. Like holding something complete, and completely alive.”

LIKE COME ON. I am such a dramatic baby but I promise you I cried at this. They are in LOVE. The way Rainbow Rowell writes this is just so good. I remember when the first real boy I had a crush on held my hand I talked about it for WEEKS. It is such a simple way to show affection but when you’re young it feels so special. Imagining this scene is so perfect and fills you with so much hope as to what is to come for the two little lovebirds. 

Now is when the story takes a bit of a turn for me. One night when talking on the phone, Park tells Eleanor that he loves her. The two begin to admit to each other that they need each other. As the relationship progresses it does kind of seem like they are a little too addicted to each other. Park is protecting Eleanor from the bullies at school and Eleanor starts to protect Park from his parents. They encourage one another in everything they want to do and help each other express themselves. I do wish this was something they were able to do on their own by each other’s side, but they seemed to really NEED each other which is a little problematic. Needing a significant other is definitely not something we should glorify to the young girl population this novel is geared towards. 

This qualm is not enough to ruin my love of the story though so we will move forward. 

As things at home get worse between Richie and Eleanor after she calls the cops on him one night, her relationship with Park is growing more and more. Eleanor is finally able to open up to Park about her family and it makes the two more comfortable with each other. 

On Christmas, Park’s mother breaks down about how she feels badly about the way she was treating Eleanor. She saw a lot of herself in Eleanor and almost resented her for it. After this, Park is more comfortable having Eleanor at the house and they spend the entire Christmas break there, 

At one point, towards the end of the break, we see Eleanor and Park both really tackle their gender expression. Park’s mom wants to give Eleanor a little makeover so she shows her how to apply eye liner using Park as a model. Both Eleanor and Park like the way it looks on him but his mother and father are not happy. Park is admitting he likes the way Eleanor dresses in boy clothes and she likes him in makeup. Neither of them care that this isn’t the norm, they know it makes themselves happy and now this is all they care about. The eye liner causes issues for Park with his dad but they are eventually able to resolve this.

This part of the book is SO important. Not only is it handled in a light way but it does leave an impression on the reader. When I read the novel the first time as a 16 year old, I remember loving how open they could be with each other. Now that I am older I am able to see the real gender expression that is there, but it still had the same effect. I think this is super important because it allows the reader to understand this situation in whatever way they can. While now, gender is much more widely talked about, in my high school this is something that never would’ve been talked about. When I read Eleanor and Park at that time I just thought they were super cool and I thought well that’s what love is about we have to support our significant other. Now I am able to see it for the much more serious thing that it is, but I still see the same message. 

Love people for their character and how they make you feel, not how they look or based off of what other people say. 

Shortly after this, Richie becomes even worse than we can imagine. Eleanor had been receiving really nasty notes in her textbooks and she finds out Richie had been leaving them. Now Eleanor knows how dangerous he is and she knows she has to run away. With the help of Park and surprisingly Tina and Steve the big bullies, Eleanor is able to escape to her uncle’s house.

Park drives her there and the two can’t let each other go when they arrive in Minnesota. They know they have to leave each other because it is what’s best for Eleanor but it is truly heartbreaking. 

Neither of them have ever felt so connected to anyone in their lives and now they have to say goodbye???? I cried for like four hours. It just felt all too real. Like not even kind of the same but I literally felt like I was leaving my high school boyfriend to go to college all over again. And like I thought that was the worst thing that could ever happen to me at 18. UGH I literally could cry again writing this. Ok lmao let’s not dwell on my lovely high school experience. 

Park goes back to Omaha and he starts to send Eleanor packages and letters. He constantly drives by her house just because he can’t stop thinking about her. And he never takes the bus again. 

Eleanor is literally me and cannot seem to find the will to confront her emotions and never opens anything Park sends her. She tells the girls at her new school she has never kissed a boy and she tries to leave the life with Park behind her. BUT do not get this twisted!!!!! This is because she loves him so much it hurts her. For girls like me and Eleanor with emotions too complex to even begin to understand sometimes it feels better to pretend they never existed. I know all too well though that this always makes it hurt more in the end. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS YOUR FRIEND ELEANOR WE GOTTA USE IT!!!!!

I was then hit with an ending that ripped my heart out of my chest. Eleanor writes Park a letter finally. This letter has three words. Three words that could mean so much. One thing Eleanor was never able to do was tell Park she loved him. She was too afraid but she definitely felt it. And in that moment I know she was able to finally tell Park that. The two had the love story of a lifetime and I feel confident at the end of the book that they would end up together again.

SO YEA another book I LOVE. I find the emotions of high school just overly relatable, and maybe even a little refreshing? Eleanor and Park throws you back to a time in life with so much uncertainty. In high school we ask ourselves so many questions constantly and are faced with a lot of idk ~shit~. Both Eleanor and Park struggle with expressing their gender but together they grow to just be happy with who they are even if it doesn’t fit the mold. Rowell tackles domestic violence and abuse which is something very real that happens every day and we cannot hide that from young people. Eleanor and Park struggle with emoting as they both seem to have a lot of pent up emotions (therapy is your friend someone needed to tell them that). 

All in all GREAT. 

Maybe next week I will finally read a book that doesn't make me cry!

[myso-calledlibraryy]

The Absolutely True Diary of  a Part-Time Indian

This book is GOOD. Not just well written, but GOOD. All the emotions of high school perfectly encapsulated into one novel that also tackles some bigger issues that go beyond puberty. 

The author Sherman Alexie is a Native American man who grew up on the Spokane Indian Reservation and now lives off the reservation in Seattle Washington. 

((beautiful heart shaped earrings made by a Spokane Indian from the Spokane reservation, gifted to me by my grandparents who visited the area in 2005. very unimportant information but cool !!! ))

He was born with a condition called hydrocephalus, which is just a bunch of extra fluid around your brain, but requires extensive brain surgeries. This led to Alexie having many health problems in his young age, and a self proclaimed “freak” because of the effect this had on his appearance. He lived on the reservation with five siblings and his mother and father. Both his mother and father were alcoholics, which is pretty much the norm for adults on the reservation. At 14, Alexie left the “rez” for the local white high school which made him stand out even more at home and at the new school. After high school he attended college with the hopes of being a pediatrician. After repeatedly fainting in his human anatomy class, a poetry class hooked Alexie to writing. 

Now this all seems incredibly boring (which it should not because the author is so important to the book, obviously) BUT Diary of a Part-Time Indian, is all about these issues Alexie faced. While it is not completely nonfiction, the book is essentially a memoir based on the time of Alexie’s life when he switched to the all white high school. During this year the main character, Junior, faces the tough loss of his dog in the very beginning and the tragic loss of his sister towards the end. In between this time Junior is dealing with the struggles of being bullied due to his appearance caused by the hydrocephalus. On top of all the loss and the bullies, Junior has a lot of normal high school problems that evoke emotions everyone can relate to. And on top of all of this is the central issue of racism, which Alexie addresses beautifully. While half joking but being very serious, this novel shuts down all stereotypes and lets us into the life of a young Indian boy living on a reservation. 

From the very beginning this book had me CRYING, and I do not mean a few little tears. Junior’s dog dies within the first like five minutes of reading and I was like okay I am going to be in for a ride. Not only does the dog die but the poor guy goes out Old Yeller style, which is just an image that has traumatized me since I was 5. So obviously I am already in pain, but as the mature reader I am I saw this as symbolism and allowed myself to move forward. Symbolism of the loss of his childhood?? Or maybe just me trying to pretend like this kid’s dad did not just SHOOT his dog. 

Now that the dog is dead I am sad and searching for something in this book that can make me happy again.

In walks, Rowdy. 

Not only is Rowdy Junior’s best friend, but he is also a ~bad boy~ which I kind of have a thing for, sue me! The big tough guy being friends with the little loser and it’s not even out of pity? bingo, I am HOOKED. 

Rowdy and Junior get into quite the fight when Junior decides to go to Reardan. Rowdy is pissed his best friend is about to leave him, but he is also definitely a little jealous. Rowdy doesn’t really want to go to school with Junior but he has some resentment towards the fact that Junior is moving on. After Junior’s school beats the rez school in a basketball game, it seems like the two are never going to mend things. 

THANKFULLY the character development of Rowdy is exceptional. He realizes just because Junior is moving on from the rez it doesn’t mean Junior is going to move on from him. Boys putting aside their manliness and understanding that they love each other so much and just want what’s best for each other is ~magical~. Like seriously literary genius I have no idea why but it just does something to a person’s heart. 

So to wrap that one up, Rowdy is my main character because I 100% would’ve had a crippling crush on him in high school. 

While I am crushing on Rowdy, Junior get’s himself a little white girlfriend, who’s not his girlfriend but is basically his girlfriend while not being his girlfriend at all; what a weird thing we are all way too used to. Her name is Penelope and I literally hate that so much. He is completely enamored by her because a girl has never even looked at him before, and she is just one of those. Like one of those girls who is obviously going to date the new boy so then everyone will talk about her and she is just so worried about not being what everyone thinks she is even though that is exactly what is. Disclaimer; I definitely would have hated Penelope in high school and she definitely would have bullied me. 

Penelope was the only character in the whole book that put a bad taste in my mouth... but in a good way? She had visible character development after Junior helps her with her bulimia, but she is still a bitch and does not love Junior the way he deserves to be loved. 

The other two main girls in Junior’s life are his sister and grandmother. Grandmothers are automatically my favorite character because my grandmother is my best friend and an angel. Junior loves his grandmother this much too and he makes it very obvious. His sister, he more so pities because she is way too old to still be living in her parents basement. But he loves her nonetheless and she is definitely one of the biggest influences for Junior’s switch to the new school. Mary had plans to go to school and fulfill her dreams but she ended up in a rut like all the other Indian’s and Junior wanted to be better than her. 

To make Junior’s life a literal living hell, even more so than it already was, both of these women die within his first year at the new school. Oh and to make matters even worse the grandmother gets hit by a drunk driver and the sister gets so drunk she passes out and burns alive in her home. If you thought I was sad about the dog, boy let me tell ya I was not well. 

Alcohol takes a serious tole on the lives in Indian communities. This is not a stereotype this is a real life thing. Most people on the rez are alcoholics, and most of them die because of it. Junior has to deal with this for his whole life and so does everyone else. 

Having dealt with alcoholism in my family my whole life this really struck a cord for me. Poor Junior was literally going through every one of my worst nightmares all at once and I just wanted to give him a hug. But while I was feeling this way, I selfishly just wanted my Rowdy to be the one to come in and save the day. (yes he is my Rowdy I do not make the rules here)

For once in my life my selfishness was actually not selfish at all because this is exactly what happened. 

Rowdy doesn’t make some big gesture or anything like that, but the boys become best friends again and that is all that matters. After wrapping up his first year at Reardan, Junior is down on life in general but feeling good about the switch he made. The only thing that would make it 100% better would be Rowdy. And thank GOD the two are able to be teenage boys and put their difference behind them after a little one on one bball. 

Not only do Rowdy and Junior become friends again, but Rowdy delivers a speech that is like no other. Rowdy low key professes his love to Junior (in a friend way) and it so inspiring. Rowdy admits that he doesn’t want Junior to forget him but that he wants nothing more than for Junior to leave the rez. Rowdy wants Junior to be the best, because that’s what he knows he can be. 

Again, I cried over two boys showing their love for each other but this is something we never get to see and it is special. And this is the ending so in reality I would have been crying no matter what. 

So yes again this book is like REALLY sad, but not in a bad way that makes you want to put it down. In a way that makes you truly think and keeps you hooked to the content of the book. 

And it is also so HAPPY. Obviously we know that Alexie became a big time author but just looking at it as Junior we know that everything is going to work out for him. 

I spent hours trying to perfectly describe how this book made me feel until it hit. It made me feeling EVERYTHING. 

That feeling when you’re a freshman in high school and the senior boy you have a crush on makes eye contact with you and suddenly you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing but it doesn’t matter because he LOOKED at you. 

That feeling of eating lunch alone at a table because no one wants to be your friend. 

That feeling of being left behind while you sit home and watch everyone succeed without you. 

That feeling of just pure loneliness where your thoughts are so loud but at the same time is everything is quiet. 

That feeling of grief that actually feels like a piece of your body went on with that person and you don’t know if you’ll ever be able to get it back.

That feeling of your first heartbreak.

That feeling of a friend break up is a lot worse than a boy break up. 

The whole novel is just one emotion after the next, but so many stick with you after. 

If I had to rate this book I would give it a “makes you cry in the best way, while also making you laugh”...the emotions a novel can evoke are so important to me, and The Diary of a Part-Time Indian gave me all the feels. 

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In addition to all of these things Part-Time Indian was able to tackle the issue of racism in a way that is a little new. Having it come from the point of view of a child, with the intention of a YA audience, you do have to write things in a less serious way. Alexie was able to do this without ever actually “dumbing” anything down. It is so absolutely important for this to be a conversation in YA novels because this is a conversation that has to become real. We cannot be afraid to read books that involve racism because it needs to be talked about on all levels, especially with young people.