myst-illusion

[myst-illusion]

Not gonna lie. If I feel up for it, I may make a list of characters I love ( Husbandos and Waifus ) lingerie with possible pin ups because bruh I would love to have the designs on some of my OC/self-insert with them on! Ahhh! Now need to check my list…

[myst-illusion]

A normal day and any in the sanctuary

[myst-illusion]

Every Piece of You

As beings of any kind--either "normal" or "abnormal", we are consciously aware of our flaws. The traits that make up a persons character and actions. Fragments of a persons identity. Be it physical or emotional. A person could be humble while one could be selfish. A person could be hideous while another presented gorgeous. Yet, there was always a phrase many used:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 

To you, that was a cliché line many rom-coms used in movies to "teach" lessons. The idea of love conquers all. The idea that someone will love you whole. That someone will love your beauty---and ugly. As a child, you enjoyed it. You indulged in it. The idea of a knight or someone come to save you. To scoop you away from your problems, someone to comfort you. A person willing to go to the ends for you in hopes to always stay within your grasp. You recalled the child-like fairytales you used to read where the royal rescued by the knight, stranger, or prince and live happily ever after. Sadly, you aged past those things. Now, they were just small self-indulgences of your own insecurities. There was no way you lived the life of being loved to the point of melting.

At least, that's what you believed.

It's funny when you date someone whom is both available, but also unavailable. To be loved is to be cherished, but it had been awhile since you felt that with him being away sometimes. It made you question, how you both accepted dating to start of with. His rather handsome appearance and seriousness were attractive to you. His humor sometimes weirdly timed, but all the same appreciated as it always made you laugh. His ego which sometimes go him stares from were always weaved in ways just warrant reactions out of you. They were annoying, but hilarious when you found ways to retort back at him. Those moments his reactions were golden--and rare. His smiles that melted you. And his eyes...Goodness, if the man didn't speak, his eyes gaves stories and messages that could be essay paper for a college thesis.

You smiled whole hearted as you sunk within the comfort of your tub. 

Strange. Yes, Stephen Strange, though most always called him Doctor Strange. Yet, to you, he was...a package of gorgeousness to you. His cold blue-like eyes always felt like being swept towards him like the edges of the beach. His hair you swore your hands got lost in more times than you could count. His features that gleams so beautiful---at least on the outside.

And then there was you...Simplistic. 

You had nothing crazy going for you. Appearances you lacked recalling the encounter of Stephen's exes a contest you concede before even trying. Nowadays, there existed so many gorgeous people Stephen had run into and confronted. Even those that rivaled his intellect or leveled it, you couldn't help, but feel envious. 

Standing up, you proceeded to wrap yourself in a towel. Your shoulders tensing up before relaxing as your mind wondered on so many people. A lump fell down your throat as you approach the door, your hand flinching at the knob. A part of you was scared. The indulgence of the tub felt like a dream as you now felt to be prepared yourself for the harsh reality past the very door blocking your way.

Twisting the knob, you clicked eyes closed rushing in without considering anything. 

Except you didn't consider to bump into a familiar figure.

"Whoa," a very Strange familiar voice called out you. 

A familiar pair of hands catching your shoulders to avoid your collapse. You had your eyes closed as if preferring to stay inside your dark sight. A familiar pair of thumbs rubbing circles upon your shoulders as if to coax you awake. 

"Good thing I caught you," he sighed in worry. "Maybe not stay in that tub again, alright? Could've passed out."

You could feel his eyes bear into your posture.

"(Y/N)," he called his voice laced with fear and worry. "It's me."

"I know." you responded not turning to face him. 

You was scared. Those thoughts--those wretched negative thoughts haunting you felt like a million voices laughing at you. You bit your lip in disgust. Why were you being so scared to look him in the eyes? Were you scared to melt into him again? 

No. 

You'd just be reminded how you didn't belong. How you weren't supposed to be here. How he could be holding some other person in his arms. Whispering sweet words of nothing in their ears. Sharing experiences with some else. Anyone else...

Not you. 

"Hey," Stephen called once more, but more sweetly. His right hand touching your opposite cheek to get you to look at him, but not forcefully. 

Your tried to not concede. You did not need him to see you like this. A broken and sobbing mess. Yet the single tear the fell down your cheek escaping to Stephen's palm that rested on your cheek. 

"I'm right here." he spoke softly as he allowed his other palm to cup your other cheek. 

Weak willed as your shoulders shook. You eyes whaled in sadness as you allowed the man you loved, more than you felt you should or even deserve, turn you to face his eyes. You felt hideous! An ugly abomination! And for what? To cry because the man you love in front of you deserved better? Yes! But how could you convey that--in this very moment when you were sobbing. The worry on his face grew more in response to your sobbing face. He looked like he wanted to speak, but waited for your words--anything really.

"I," you hiccupped in between words, "I-I don...don't... deserve you!" You sniffled as you tried to spoke your next words without thought. "You could have anyone! You're beautiful in every way! Ever piece of you is special! But I have nothing to that! I'm hideous! I'm disgusting! I'm the worst partner you could ever have! I'm not gifted! I'm nothing!"

Before you could sprout out whatever your heart screamed, your lips were silenced by the impact of Strange's lips. At first, you felt the tears come harder. You felt like you was melting. The force and hunger in the kiss was apparent. Yet...It was sweet and tender. It was like a subtle message you understood:

I love you.

But you struggled to fight it. The kiss that was melting was the same thing you feared. The kiss that made your mind go numb. That made you think of nothing but him---and only him. Of course, Strange was being stubborn with you. Refusing to let you escape him in this very moment, he pressed forward. His frame pinning you to the wall of the door to the very bathroom that had being shut loudly, but quickly. 

Gasping for air, you and Stephen stared--eye to eye. Your tears welling up again as you shook your head at as if you couldn't believe him from the kiss alone.

"Every piece," he confessed catching his breath. 

He kissed your forehead, "I love your thoughtfulness--your creativity." He kissed your cheek. "I love how your cheek blow up with you smile or laugh at anything." He kissed the side of your neck causing your legs to wobble. "I love how sensitive you are after a shower or bath." 

As his praise continued, you felt weak, but the tears kept falling. 

You violently shook your head, "You're lying."

"I'm not." he denied as he cupped your face again to look at him. 

His thumb gently rub away a stranded tear from your face. Your shoulders continued to shake as his eyes continue to pierce your own. Body shaking as your throat echoed hiccups in between. 

"Only you," he spoke his tone as sweet and softly as he could muster against your tearing muffles. "Only you drives these feelings." His scarred right hand entwinning with your own. His forehead leaning against your own refusing to leave eye contact. "My love, you embrace me for all my traits. My gifts. My flaws. My ugliness. My complexities. My feelings." You swore you saw a glow in his eye as if holding back his own tears. "My heart."

"No," you shook your head sniffling a bit, "I'm not worth your devotion. I'm disgusting."

"We both are." he interjected.

"But what about her? Others!" you pleaded. "They are better for you than me! I don't belong at your side."

You couldn't say who "her" afraid you would trigger another waves of tears. Your eyes falling down as if to avoid Strange's eyes. You were scared. Afraid if he may have gotten offended from mentioning "her" or "others". After all, jealousy tended to always be a problem in any relationship. Envy was unavoidable. And sometimes partners either had patience or would run away from the problem. 

Silence.

You shut your eyes in fear of anything? Was he mad? Was he going to walk away and tread in circles at your words?

"[ Y/N ]," he called your attention.

You shivered at his tone. It wasn't strict, but the undertone gave you that idea. But it was more like a hand reaching out to you. A hand that pleaded for you to take it. Yet, you hesitated to look him in the eye again. Your lips quivered in nervousness. You fate riding in the hands of the very man in front of you. 

However, you forget the exact man you was currently dealing with. 

The motion was swift and sudden. Your feet lost their footing. A squeaking noise escaped your lips. Arms flailing a bit. You had no idea what had suddenly changed the mood. Yet, from standing upon the floor in nothing, but a towel, the entire scene changed. The same hands that had cupped your cheek and wiped away a single tear now was the same pair that lifted you like a bride. Your eyes bulged in surprise. Your face heating up from the embarrassment. The same pair of hands that touched you with such need now held you with care like glass--as if you may fade away any second. You looked down feeling a slight drift of air upon your skin from the bath. You scrambled to keep your towel close to your figure. This earned a mischievous chuckle from Stephen.

"Sweetheart," he chucked nuzzled into your cheek leaving kisses down your neck, "a bit late to be shy now. There isn't anything you have hidden I haven't seen--or, well, tasted." You began to wiggle in retaliation which caused his grip on you to tighten a bit. "Ah," he warned, "I'm not letting you try to slip out of my grasp."

You relinquish your movement keeping your hands in your lap. Your eyes looking downward. 

"I'm not her. I'm not them." you whispered. 

"No," Strange agreed, "you aren't her. And you obviously aren't them either."

Your hands gripped tightly at your towel. Body trembling a bit as you felt yourself about to tear up.

"Then you don't need me." you continued. "I'm not fit for you."

There was that silence again. At least, for a temporary moment. 

"You're [ Y/N ]," Strange proclaimed. "My sweetheart. My Love. The love of my life. The one that has stayed by my side in times of strife and put up with my stupidity better than of them." His fingers grazing upon your skin and sometimes through the towel in circles. "The love of my life that sees past all my bullshits and masks. Whose mere presence before me drives my soul and heart afire."

Your grip, that had previously been shivering, paused. What was this man doing? One moment, he agrees with you. The next, he's speaking like a poet? No. That wasn't it. He was. . . proclaiming his love for you? Of course, this should have been normal, but for some reason it felt more honest--overly honest. Genuine to the point you felt a deep part of you was being help--pass your flesh.

"Even if you don't have the things she had--what they have," he said, ", she was my past. And they aren't what I want. You are my present. It's all you, sweetheart--only you. Your flaws, traits, features, quips everything. The good. The bad. The ugly. I will love every single piece--every inch to molecule--of you. In any universe--no, all the universes, I'll continue to love you nonstop. So long as you will allow it--allow me. " 

You felt the pressure of his kiss upon your head. Looking to your side, you raised hands slightly shaking. Pressing them gently upon Strange's check, you felt a warmth inside you smile. And the tears that previously feel from sadness were of joy and happiness. The pounding of his chest, despite the rather layered clothing he had on, rung through his ribcage. Vibrating through his chest, your fingers danced lightly upon his chest. You would think maybe he's lying, but this was Strange--your Stephen Strange. You could feel the rate of his heartbeat quicken just from how you felt his breath heave near your ear.

"As much as I enjoy your hands on me right now, sweetheart," he purred, "your silence is, uh, scaring me."

You giggled quietly. "The great Doctor Strange, man who fought Dormammu and Thanos, is scared of my silence?"

"Well," he spoke nervously as if losing his tongue, "fighting intergalactic and mystical threats have a---."

Interrupting his rambling, you cup his cheeks in your palm, you faced him. A heartwarming smile spread upon your face from ear to ear. The tears that flowed from your face. The look on his face made him worry until you initiate the kiss. Though the energy that had been used on cry was spent in response to Stephen's words from earlier. On a side note, you would lie that silencing him this way felt tantalizing with just how easy he could be caught. At first, the surprised look on his face made your inner self giggle with pride before he returned a kiss of his own, a happiness of his own but desire. His hands that held now roamed with fingers filled with need. A small yelp from you surely earned him a mental chuckle.

Parting, you paused to catching your breath and beating heart. Stephen leaning his forehead against your own with a heavy exhale. In that moment of silence, you two stared. Eye level to eye level. With such small distance between each other and still in Stephen's arm, you opened your lips and spoke softly.

"Every piece of you," you proclaimed. 

"Every piece of you," he repeated.

Locking lips again, you looped your arms around Stephen's neck. The only sound being his foot steps walking in whatever direction he was taking you. You didn't mind. You didn't care. As long as Stephen was with you, in any and every piece, including form, of him with you. That was your haven. He was your haven: Stephen Strange.

[ Author's Note: This is more for self-indulgence as I've been feeling a bit depressed these past few days. Siiiiighhh. Sometimes there is a thing about being in love with a character, but always being reminded of so many other things that exist out there. And honestly, they can hurt--more than people realize. But this is why our favorite characters give us comfort in time of self-doubt, self-loathing, and self-worth. Basically, it's best to let people enjoy things that give them hope and ability to move on times of struggles with life and tribulations. And while this might not be best for others--or problematics of such an idea--it's hard. Sometimes close friends, family, and love ones might not always be what a person needs. Sigh, sorry, I'm rambling. It's just hard for some people to deal or cope with life.

Also the idea of this whole thing was supposed to go along like this: Loving someone is easy, but sometimes you can't help your feelings of insecurities run wild when you equate yourself to his past partners or current acquaintances. Side note, I may have been switching a bit much on using his last name and this his first name. Personally, either may not have mean much, but for some people--depending on who they are using a person's name (either or both) can have a fun and emotional impact on you. Thing of it like a siren's call or spell, hehe?

This took such a while to write because I had decided it would be fun to drown in music--which is a major help into writing this. However, I did run into some small problems while doing this. First is Strange's way of talking, which is fun to type, but soon gave me a confused deer in headlights because it felt he spoke "modern", but also in a "I'm very old--like 1,000 years old" tone? Did I forget to mention "I'm a smartass what of it"? Which is why I can't help, but find the joy in the MCU's way of talking to be so interesting? Not to mention, he's a much more complicated--but extremely down to earth relatable character. And that's because....Well, he's human! A human with flaws that I personally feel? Sigh, I'll stop. I sound like a mumbling idiot here.

Either way, thank you for taking the time to look or read this! I apologize if I made any mistakes along the way of this.]