mysticmannor

[mysticmannor]

Thursday, October 19, 2023

I’m at walmart with my mother. Walmart has rentable storage lockers in my dream, and you have to buy a certain amount of things to qualify to get one. I end up buying some guys stuff that he abandoned at the register, tossing back the frozen stuff that I can’t keep. Also there’s lottery tickets that I didn’t really want to buy but did anyway.

We get a fruit juice and head out to the storage lot, mom leaves somewhere in the car and I am nosing around in the biggest storage locker I’ve ever seen. I have lots of boxes and a big bed in it. There is a turn in the space, L shaped. the bed is not pressed against the wall, it’s laid up on the frame and the frame has made a hallway of sorts on the far back wall unseeable from the front of the storage room.

I’m piddling as a man walks into the space, he is threatening but I don’t understand why. He’s speaking slowly and calm. I am too but realize the situation is about to escalate. I can’t recall the words exchanged exactly.

He slides onto the bed, a gun in hand resting on the back of the bed frame, pointed at me in the makeshift hallway. I get closer to the pistol’s barrel and say “You’re not going to shoot me, you won’t get what you want.” He doesn’t flinch, speak or show any expression.

He pulls the chamber back. It holds, “you want to bet lady?” he says. “I guess I’m the gambling type today.” I fire back. He drops the chamber and cocks the gun again. I realize there’s no bullets in it now, he flounders to get it to hold this time.

I grab the pistol in my right hand, swinging my body over the left of the bed frame weight on his wrist. I grab the gun and dismantle it as he jumps up. I toss it on the ground in his direction, now to the right of the bed and in the view of the opening of the roll top door.

Before I can fully register it, he’s jumped on me and we are tussling. I pat my jeans looking for my handy knife, rolling over and over the floor he doesn’t see it. I pull his hurt right wrist back pinning him face down. His left arm underneath my crouched left leg, my right supporting his spine.

Instinctively I snatch his head by a fistful of hair in my left fist, releasing his poorly busted right arm I pop my switchblade out of my waistline. He’s cussing in an ugly language. Russian, German? Not sure, but you can tell it’s curses. I swiftly slice the meat of his neck as if it were a chicken breast in the walmart next door.

Gargling, my left fist pulls his wound deeper as his neck is forced backwards. His gasping slowing, I tell myself here as I’m breathing for the time time in minutes that I won’t look at his face. I try to think how this looks, why he was after me. I wonder if someone’s knew where he was.

I sit behind the bed frame, finding a flip. I know it will call 911 even without service. Should I call? It was self defense. Would they believe me? His dead body excreting fluid all over my storage room, I’ll lose the deposit. I spring up to haul his body outside the next door. I roll him over so that maybe most the blood would soak up in his clothes and not the pavement. I didn’t look at his face.

I go back to my safe space in the makeshift hall. I’m thinking do I call? Do I run? They’ll find security footage of me at walmart, in the storage lot at the time of death. They’ll find forensics all over the room. If I get caught up in the system, I’ll be busted for much more than a self defense case. As I’m thinking the options over, I hear someone rush my decisiveness.

A woman hollers outside, explaining the man is in a real bad way. Someone else is with her, I can barely see her head peering over the man in the far right view of the open door. Shit. No doubt now, I’m fucked. I quietly and quickly grab my go bag, in the chaos of them calling the cops from their car I escape to the main road.

The sun has gone down, and the sky is gray in color. I walk down the main road as cooling as possible, not looking into the oncoming traffic until nightfall. When it is pitch black, I start looking into backyards of the homes on the way of the road. I find a pretty one with a decent wooden gate. There’s a nice seating area around a long forgotten fire pit.

I climb over and rest a while. As the morning comes, the grayness returns in the skies. I walk over to a corner store that is not open yet. Across the lot of the gas station, a group of grungy people lay across large boulder rocks on blankets. Homeless, drug addicted and runaways chain smoking and drifting, I would blend in. I make my over and pull out a half smoked spliff, offering the group as they made room on the rock for me.

We waited for the store to open, all gathered supplies for the day and I borrowed a phone to reach out to a friend. She came to pick me up, and I showered at her place. I didn’t tell her anything, or her military husband. I took a spare bed or theirs. Recollecting my things, finally feeling like I could think a moment… the flip phone rings.

[mysticmannor]

Tuesday, October 17, 2023

I’m on the beach with Ellie at a yoga retreat. We finished a session and we’re filing into a building on the boardwalk. We’re getting in line and grabbing VIP lanyards, she steps away saying she’s going to use the restroom. I’m anxious because I don’t know anyone else and feel out of place. I hold our place and pay our dues.

•

It’s dark, cold and raining. I’m downtown somewhere but off the main strip. There’s a bunch of single dive bars next to each other and I get separated from my group. I’m drunk, dizzy and confused. I go outside, thinking the smokers probably just stepped out but I can’t find them.

I’m walking around the building and peeking around at the others, I see a lot of people filing into a side door in a building. One of the girls looks like someone I recognized so I started to follow. A big bouncer at the door stares me down and I stop in my tracks. Something doesn’t feel right, I see that it’s pitch black inside and watch the brightly blonde girls hair disappear into the dark.

The bouncer says to me “Don’t follow just any girl, you don’t belong here anyway.” It gives me chills, I feel she just stepped into something nefarious and that I had a close call. I back away and say sorry. I hear a lot of people talking about gallery night, I think it is gallery night. The bars are packed because everyone is seeking cover from the rain.

In the distance over the buildings, big explosions in golden yellows and oranges burst in the thundering skies. People glacé but do not make much of a scene of it, as if it makes any sense. I too follow this narrative, like it was common at the time.

[mysticmannor]

Monday, September 25, 2023

I live in a very nice condo, room 210. The stairs are a direct violation of OSHA, there are cement steps without any guard rails. I’m having a POTS attack on the top step, unable to make it one more step.

I am afraid of elevators, and it’s only two flights of steps. I am watching healthy people step out of the elevator twenty feet from me, through my flickering vision. I am about to pass out, on the top step of cement staircase with no hard rails.

I keep pleading “help please” to passersby’s. Many just look and walk away for what seems like forever, a young Korean girl starts to stop to help but i loose consciousness before she reaches me.

[mysticmannor]

Wednesday August 23rd 2023

In my childhood home, with some man I don’t recognize but I know in my dream. In the basement by the sliding glass door, a small troll like creature runs past the porch door. I jump a foot off the ground at least. I’m screaming did you see that?

He doesn’t so I frantically grab salt. He steps out the glass door and into the patio, suddenly a black snake materializes and rushes at his legs. “Snake! See!” he grabs the snake by its neck and acts like no big deal, when the snake grows a second head. He drops it and I usher him inside.

I told him to go find more salt. I say it must be consistent line, no breaks. Every door then every window. Frantic we grab more salt shakers and the big pour can.

•

I’m in a mall with a large group of friends. There’s a escape room type of thing but it consist of many rooms, like a big building. Before starting there is a room full of freezer and refrigerator doors like in a store. We’re grabbing B12 energy drinks and snacks. I can’t tell where to pay, they leave me behind. I’m not sure which door to go in first.

I try to continue on my own to catch up with them but I’m running into other groups of people. I don’t find my group before I wake.

[mysticmannor]

Tuesday, August 22, 2023

I’m at a distant uncle’s family’s home. It’s rundown and it’s getting dark. A drunk woman I don’t know sees me in the yard and shoots a pistol at me. It hits a nearby turned over burn barrel. I yell at her to stop and go into the house where I’m being forced to cook/clean/cater to these people.

They want to get rid of me and I tell them I’m useful so I’m not murked. I’m in the kitchen and said uncle comes in. I throw a picture down of me as a young child smiling playing with him. Hoping that this will bring out their humanity. Later I’m being fussed at by an old woman in the kitchen who doesn’t know me. I can’t tell if she’s the one who shot at me previously.

•

I’m in my apartment when I get a knock. It is another Uncle who I am much more afraid of. He shouldn’t know where I live but he does. He barges in and casually questions me some in a slow low voice. He’s lost a lot of weight and looks sick. I don’t coward, I just stand there as he gets close to me picking up my couch blankets and I take them from him. I tell him to go and surprisingly he does.

It felt threatening and so I leave to see a friend to tell her what has happened. Her kids are playing outside on a balcony porch. I take the balcony steps to tell her son below to watch his siblings. Climbing the stairs, they are covered in spiderwebs and spiders.

I tell he popped over. She seems unimpressed. I tell her with more expression and that seems to be that.

•

I am expecting a friend to stay the night. My boyfriend is not going to be there and he’s expressing concerns about my feelings for this friend. I assure him that I can have female friends, and kiss his neck lovingly.

She comes over and we’re in a king sized bed. I am close to the side and she lays beside me. We close our eyes to sleep but I am anxious my breath smells. So I hold it, there’s tension that I didn’t know what to do with. If we could just fall asleep it would go away. But she sits up and I sit up slightly, and we both exhale intensely before deeply kissing. I wake up and am SO confused.

[mysticmannor]

Monday, August 21, 2023

I’m on a ship, elevators are scary fast. There’s an indoor pool at the top floor. I’m not permitted to go but I do with another girl. A woman is angry because no one should be there. There is a large shark in the water and many small ones. I dive under pushing the shark towards the ground, while shoving a young girl forward away.

[mysticmannor]

Sunday, August 20, 2023

In a garage with my parents, there’s a tornado coming and I am collecting all the pillows to duck/shield our heads with. My ex’s parents show up for some reason. They’re not supposed to be there.

[mysticmannor]

Saturday August 19, 2023

my nephew came to visit me while I was baby sitting neighborhood kids. While I was making the kids bowls of good fish… I had a illegal green viper as a pet, and it bit my nephew who then went missing. I couldn’t get in touch with poison control fast enough. I hope my nephew disappeared to get himself to a hospital quickly. I put the viper in a dog kennel.

[mysticmannor]

Friday August 18, 2023

I am sitting in my walk in closet. There are two hot wheels toy cars. One on the top shelf begins to levitate midair. One on the floor on the carpet, moves directly out of the closet, then changes direction and turns quickly to the left. The one midair is still floating, I stand… then holler three times, before ducking from the moving toy car and run down the stairs.

“I take back all my energy. All energy that is mine returns to me. You cannot have it. It is mine. All my energy return to me.”